In the Stars

by Joan Duszynski

  Throughout class, I notice several stares in my direction, but no one invades me with questions. The girl that I always sit by is overly talkative and nice to me this time, but she is decent enough not to bring anything up. When the class is over, I stand and start to walk down the aisle, and a sudden surge of confidence and strength hits me. This is my life, and I am going to live it. I will be damned if I let what Scott is capable of, or anyone else for that matter, allow me to stop feeling free, and end up living in fear.

  I step out the door, standing tall with a smile plastered across my face. I look from side to side to see if Adam has made it to walk with me to lunch yet. Who I see, instead, has my smile spreading even wider. Eric pushes off of the wall, and walks up to me with a genuine smile of his own. I feel the tingle that always seems to accompany Eric run through me.

  “Hey Eric; what are you doing here? I know, from the three phone calls Tara and I received yesterday from you, that you worked all day and night yesterday. Don’t you ever just sleep and relax?”

  Eric’s smile falls, and he now looks irritated. “I’m sorry. Are you disappointed to see me, Caroline? I saw and met that Adam guy that was waiting here for you. I sent him off, so I could talk and walk with you instead. Does that upset you; should I go find and bring him back for you?”

  I scrunch my eyebrows together, looking at Eric and trying to figure out his mood. I’m sure that it isn’t so, but I really sense he is acting jealous over Adam. I reach up and loop my arm through Eric’s, around his bicep, and start walking. “Trust me; I will see Adam a plenty. He has become a really great friend over the past month. Come on bodyguard, I was just headed to lunch. Are you hungry?”

  Eric looks down at our arms linked together and then back up at me with a smile. Of course, I smile back. “Damn, I missed that dimple. What is it about you and that damn dimple that wipes away all my irrationalness? I would love to have lunch with you, Caroline. Where would you like to go?”

  “Well, I’m supposed to meet Tara and Adam in the cafeteria, but I can let them know if you’d rather go somewhere else.”

  “I’ll send Tara a text, letting her know I got you. Do you have any more classes today?”

  “No, but I do have work tonight, and a couple more assignments to catch up on, even though I did most of them yesterday while sitting at home.”

  “Then I am going to extend my body guarding duties to a full day service today. I can even take you back and forth to work if you want.”

  “Eric, we don’t close until ten tonight, and then I have to help close up. You really need to try and sleep some.” He opens the door to his truck for me, and reaches down, grasping my hips and lifting me into my seat again. I turn toward him “Eric, you know I am capable of getting up into your truck on my own; don’t you? I’m not some small child.”

  Eric takes hold of my legs, turning them back forward in my seat. “Trust me, Caroline, when I say by no means do I see you as a small child. This way is just more fun; now buckle up.”

  I can’t help but smile, and of course buckle up as I’m told. Eric takes me to a barbecue restaurant, and we sit in a small booth, eating and talking easily with one another. He has never talked so much to me before, and it feels really good to have him actually telling me about himself some. Several times, I catch my hand on its own accord starting to slide across the table toward his, and I have to force myself to pull it back quickly each time. That undeniable draw I get every time I’m close to Eric is back full on, and my body and mind are once again wrestling with one another. A couple different times, I notice Eric looking toward my injured eye, and each time I see pure rage run through his features, but then he quickly shakes it away.

  Eric drives me back to my place and turns off his truck, coming around and helping me out. He reaches into the back seat, and grabs my bags—and his laptop bag as well. He starts to walk toward the front door, and looks back at me with a questionable look. “You coming, Caroline, or what? I have my own key to the place, so I can just use mine.”

  I walk up to him, and reach into the front pouch of my bag hanging from his arm and pull out my key. “Well damn, Eric, you sure are taking this bodyguard business pretty seriously, aren’t you? I’m sure I will be safe at home alone for awhile; plus, I’m really not sure I can afford your services.”

  Eric’s eyes go dark as he pushes the door open for me. “There will never be charges for any of my services with you, Caroline.”

  Holy hell, son of a bitch: I know my jaw just dropped to the ground, and my legs suddenly don’t work anymore. Eric is just staring at me, waiting for me to step inside, and all I can do is try and make my mouth close. “Any of my services with you, Caroline” in that sexy voice of his is on repeat in my head. His now darker emerald eyes are just staring into me, and I feel like they are trying to bore holes into my soul. As soon as I manage to pull my lips back together, I bite down hard on my bottom lip to try and give my ass a kick start.

  Eric’s eyes fall to my mouth, and I hear that growl of his as he shakes his head back and forth. “If you are going to be calling me your bodyguard, then that means I am responsible for that body of yours. Meaning every part of you, Caroline; so you better release that lip now before I have to take further measures.”

  Mother fucker this man is messing with my head bad today, and my body is totally in tune with it and vibrating all over now. I release my lip, and try my hardest to sachet my ass coolly and calmly past him and into the house. I hear a small laugh escape him, so I’m guessing I didn’t succeed very well in my cool and calm attempt.

  He shuts the door, and I walk over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. What I really need to do is open the freezer and try and turn off this furnace my body has running inside of me. I turn back to him with the fridge still open. “You need anything from the fridge, Eric?”

  He gives me a wicked smile. “No, the fridge doesn’t have what I want, but thanks. Where do you want me to put your bags?” Damn him; he is doing this shit on purpose. I am going to have to figure this out, because two can play at this game.

  I close the fridge, and try and give my sexy smile. “Please, follow me to my bed, Eric… and just put my bags down there.” I see his brows pull in together and his jaw clench tightly. He says nothing as I walk into my room, and he follows behind. He sits my bags down beside my bed as I reach into my dresser. “I like to be comfortable while I work on my assignments. I’m going to go change real quick. Are you sure there is nothing I can do for you, Eric?”

  Eric gets a very sly grin on his face. “Ok Caroline, I know what you’re doing. Point made; we are fair now, ok? My will power isn’t as good as you might be thinking it is, so unless you feel you can handle the repercussions of your actions then, once again, as your bodyguard I advise you to stop.”

  I just smirk my lips and hunch up one of my shoulders. “Ok Eric, whatever you say; I was just trying to be a good host.”

  I turn and walk out toward the bathroom and practically fall on my face, due to the Jell-O state my legs have once again taken. He won this battle for sure, and I think he knows it. There is no way I can continue to play games like this with him and keep myself in check from trying to get physical. He is going to have to make the first move. I am not going to be the one that looses physical control first. Plus, I like having Eric near me, and the pull isn’t just physical—it is something more.

  I make my way back into the hall way with my yoga pants on and look into the living room, but I don’t see Eric. I step back into my room, and there he is. He has taken off his shoes, and has his back against my headboard—legs stretched out in front of him, and laptop open on his lap. Ok then. I walk over to my bag and grab out my notebook, pen, and laptop. I climb over top of his legs and see him look up from his screen, watching me. I lay down on the other side of the bed, which once again isn’t mine since he keeps claiming my side.

  I lay my computer down at the foot of the bed, and lay on my stomach with my legs kicked up
in the air behind me and crossed at the ankles. I start working on my assignment without saying anything. I hear Eric laugh from behind me, and I try and turn my head so he can’t see the huge smile I have on my face. The smile is so big it causes a pain to shoot up around my eye. I reach up, not thinking, and let out a little “ouch”.

  Then I feel the bed shifting, and Eric is beside me, lying on his stomach as well. He reaches up, lightly touching my cheek under my eye. “I’m sorry, Caroline, does it hurt?”

  I look over at him, and get lost in his eyes for a moment. “It is a lot better now. I just did something that pulled on it wrong; it’s ok. The biggest problem with it now is more the ugliness of it, rather than the pain from it.”

  Eric moves my hair to the side behind my shoulder, making my bruising more visible. “Caroline, there is nothing ugly about you. I don’t ever want to hear you saying that again. Not this bruise, or any scarring from your accident—nothing.” He reaches around and gently glides his finger down my scar as he looks intensely into my eyes. “These just show how strong of a woman you are. You are beautiful, and I am starting to discover that holds true for you inside and out.” I feel my head leaning into his touch, and I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth it brings me.

  “I know I have acted silly today, Eric, but I want you to know I really have enjoyed our day together. You aren’t so bad a guy yourself, outwardly as well as what I am seeing on the inside too.”

  Eric reaches back and grabs his computer again, and scoots forward further on the bed, making more room for his legs to stretch some. They are still too long, though, and his feet rest awkwardly on the headboard. I look over at him and smile, and we both start back up on our work.

  “I’M SORRY AM I interrupting something?” I raise my head, looking up, and see Eric is asleep beside me on my bed and Tara is standing in my doorway. I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep. I start looking around frantically, and Eric’s computer is still on the bed, but mine is lying on the nightstand. My clock says 3:30, and I only have thirty minutes before I am supposed to be at work.

  Tara is still standing there with her arms crossed in front of her and a very sly grin on her face. I go to jump up quickly from the bed when Eric’s arm jerks out, grabbing hold of my waist and pulling me back beside him as he mumbles something. My face flops back down on the mattress and it hurts like hell. “Ow! Shit, Eric, what are you doing? Let go; I’m going to be late for work!”

  Eric sits up with a jerk, and Tara has reached the side of the bed and smacks him on the shoulder. “Eric, what the hell; possessive much? You just made Caroline smack her face down on the bed.” Eric is just staring at me as he slowly releases the grip he has on me, and then reaches out to pull me back up and toward him.

  He reaches his hand up and gently strokes my cheek, and I slightly wince. “Fuck Caroline, I am so sorry. I would never mean to hurt you like that. You fell asleep, and I moved your laptop so it wouldn’t fall. You seem to relax me; I don’t even remember laying my head down. Are you ok?”

  I crawl backwards on my hands and knees slowly off the bed while still watching Eric. His expression is pained, and Tara just looks right out confused. “Nothing a couple aspirin shouldn’t fix, Eric. I guess we both needed some sleep. I really have to hurry up and get ready before I’m late. Thanks again for today.”

  Eric stands from the bed, and grabs up his laptop, putting it back into its bag and reaching for his shoes as I head out my door to go change. I can hear Eric and Tara talking quietly as I try to run my hands through my hair, then pull it up into a bun with a few wispy pieces falling around my face, trying to cover my eye some.

  I come walking back out and grab my purse, phone, and shoes from my room. When I make it back out to the family room, Tara is still talking with Eric as he stands by the front door with his laptop bag and keys in hand. “Ok Tara, I won’t be back until late tonight; glad you showed up and woke me before I ended up extremely behind time. Thank you again, bodyguard Wright, for everything today; I will see you around.”

  Tara looks over at me and smiles. “Yeah, I’m glad I showed when I did too—wasn’t expecting that scene, though. See you soon, Caroline; try not to work too hard.” She gives me a wink, and I reach out and hug Tara and smile up at Eric. He squints his eyes at me and opens the door, and then reaches over to give Tara a hug goodbye himself. “Ok Caroline, let’s go.”

  I stop half way out the door. “What are you talking about Eric, no? I told you I can do this on my own. I appreciate the offer but I need to be able to live my everyday life as normal as possible ok. Which includes driving myself to and from work. I already told you we never walk out alone at night.”

  I see a muscle in his cheek jump and he pulls himself up even straighter. “Yes and I said let’s go. I have some things to check on here as far as the case goes so I will be in the area still anyway. I don’t think you can’t handle yourself Caroline I just want to take you.”

  Tara looks at me, and just starts shaking her head. I look up at Eric and feel myself rising up onto my toes as I lean in and lightly kiss his cheek. As soon as my lips touch his skin, I feel a shock run through me. Not a painful shock, but one that makes my body feel like every sensory nerve in it just came fully alive for the first time. I try and keep my emotions at bay, and smile at Eric as I pull away. “Thank you, Eric. Bye.”

  That is all I can say, because I feel my voice, and every other part of me, getting shaky as I turn and walk to my Blazer. I steal a quick glance up as I am backing out, and Eric is still standing there at the door like a statue frozen in place.

  I GET ONE fifteen minute break during my shift. I go back to check my phone, and see I have two missed calls and voicemail, as well as one text. One call is from Raleigh, and the other is from Kyle. I don’t even take the time to listen to the messages first before I dial Kyle’s number. The phone only rings once before a very winded sounding Kyle answers. “Caroline, hey why didn’t you call me? I hope you don’t feel that I wouldn’t have been there for you?”

  “Hi Kyle. I’m sorry, what is it you are talking about exactly?”

  “Sorry, you must not have listened to my message. Raleigh was in today for her last appointment. She told me about what happened to you. I hope that is ok. I had asked her about you, and I could tell she was hesitant about something, so I might have forced it out of her in a way. God Caroline, are you ok?”

  I am silent for a moment. Raleigh never even mentioned it to me that today was her last appointment. Maybe after everything between Kyle and I, and then everything else, she just didn’t want to say anything to me. “Kyle, I can’t lie, it really scared me and I am still slightly shaken up, but I’m fine—really. Luckily, I had witnesses that saved me and can speak against him from what they saw him do. My face looks a lot worse then what it actually feels now. It means a lot to me that you called to check on me. I’m not sure if I have the right to say this, but I have wanted to call you many times. Whether things were meant to be with us, relationship wise, or not you are important to me. I hate that I might have disappointed or hurt you.”

  I feel a tear run down my cheek, and I reach up to catch it. Kyle is quiet for a second, and then let’s out a sigh. “Caroline, you will always be important to me too. I understand two people’s hearts don’t always feel the same pull, and I can’t hold it against you that yours didn’t open up the same as mine for us. I wish it had, but I am getting better. Right now, I would like to get my hands on that bastard that hurt you!”

  “Well, trust me; there is a line of people wanting to get their hands on him as well. He can’t come back on campus ever again, and I have a restraining order so he can’t show at my work or home either. Plus, he is on house arrest, since he had a weapon on campus grounds.”

  Kyle and I talk a few more minutes before I have to go back to work. I hang up the phone, and finally feel like I have a proper closure to what came of Kyle and I. He said things are getting better, and he wouldn’t ever hold my de
cision against me. I have to put away my phone and rush back out to the floor as soon as I hang up with Kyle.

  Once I get my blazer started, I check my text from earlier tonight. My eyes widen when I see it is from Eric.

  Eric: U are stubborn, and so u know I don’t like being told no. B safe and thanks for the warm place to sleep today.

  Caroline: Leaving work now. Not sure if u want to b around me much, because u are right I am stubborn and tend to not do well with bossy ways. I do hope u can deal, because it would b sad not having u around.

  I hit send, and then call Raleigh. She was calling to let me know she had seen and told Kyle. I tell her about what was said, and that I can’t believe she didn’t tell me she was going in for her last appointment. I miss her, and make her promise to come stay over with Tara and I tomorrow. Tara is still up when I get home, and we make the decision to make tomorrow a party event.

  As I’m walking toward the bathroom to take a shower, Tara stops me. “Caroline, I think you need to know that I honestly have never seen Eric behaving the way he does around you. He is a bossy, arrogant, possessive man regularly, but around you, it’s different. He is still all those things, but he’s also tender. I’ve never seen him tender around any woman that wasn’t family. He shows sympathy, of course, for families involved in his cases, but this isn’t sympathy with you, Caroline; this is more, and I’m not just talking sexual either.”

  I feel a blush rise to my cheeks. “There is something there for me too.

  Tara, and it’s different than anything I have ever felt before. This feels like I don’t have control over it, whether I want to feel this way or not. I don’t like not being in control, but, yet, I like this. I don’t want it to stop, and it scares me.”