Obliterate

by Autumn Grey

  I nodded again, letting those words sink in.

  “And you think . . . you think he loves me?”

  “Oui,” Luc said. I glanced quickly at Dom. He wasn’t much of a talker. I had a feeling he preferred to sit back and study people silently. I returned my focus on Luc. “Remington is going to kill us if he knew we told you this. But we had to talk to you before we left. Colette almost destroyed him and we don’t want to see that happen again. He’s crazy about you.” Luc paused as though to allow me some time to let those words sink in. “He is restless when you’re not around. I’ve seen murder in his eyes when he thinks any man is trying to capture your attention for too long. He might not act on his feelings soon. But we wanted you to know. Please just . . .” Luc looked at me square in the eye, various emotions flashing through his face. He inhaled deeply and said, “I hope you let him down gently when you leave.”

  I sat back on the chair, pressing a hand on my chest. I could hear Remington’s laugh as he and Adrien worked on Adrien’s tree house. He had promised him yesterday that they would do that today.

  He loves me?

  I tried not to let those three little words do crazy things to me. Wasn’t it too early in our three-month agreement relationship to feel that?

  “But we’ve known each other for a few weeks.”

  Dom shifted in his chair. “Remington is just—” he paused as if searching for words, but ended up saying, “Remington. Whether it’s a few weeks or a few days, it doesn’t matter.”

  They were right about that. Remington is just that. Remington. He lived by his own rules and no one else’s, which was quite scary if I allowed myself to think about it too much. Scary because as much as I enjoyed being the center of his attention and wanted to play by his ruled, I had allowed the “what ifs?” to linger in my thoughts far too often. Was I ready to take a step in that direction?

  I shook my head, shoving those thoughts in the back of my mind. “Thank you for this,” I said, forcing myself to focus on the two men. I could see loyalty and love for their brother as clear as though they had just shouted out the words out aloud.

  After saying their good-byes to everyone, Luc and Dom left. I went upstairs and pretended I was working on my designs. I knew Remington would notice something different about me. I wasn’t good at hiding how I felt. I needed some time alone to evaluate the revelation and my own feelings.

  The next few days, I mastered the art of being calm. Remington divided his time between working in his office and building a tree house with Adrien. Not to mention our day tours around Provence. Yesterday we went on a hot air balloon ride at six-thirty in the morning. The sunrise was astounding and the landscape, painted in the gold and oranges of autumn was simply breathtaking.

  We cuddled up on the patio at night after everyone had gone to bed, and then later, we slipped between the sheets. Sometimes he’d take his time pleasuring me and when he finally slipped inside me, he’d make love to me as if he had all the time in the world. Other times he was so impatient and almost desperate that he’d slam his cock into me, pounding me like he couldn’t get enough. Remington could be as demanding as he was giving, and I loved that about him.

  Today was a lazy day, spent around the swimming pool. I had drawn some lingerie designs and a few marketing strategies. I was excited about how everything was turning out.

  Right after dinner, we settled down on the patio, sipping wine. Adrien, as usual, was a whirlwind of energy, running along well-lit pathways and finally dropping on either my lap or his father’s.

  Earlier today I’d called my parents to let them know I was doing well. The only person I told about Remington was Marley. I didn’t tell my parents because there was nothing to tell, really. This was temporary and I knew they’d worry about me. They had already done enough of that to last them a lifetime. I forced any thoughts of leaving France out of my mind and simply enjoyed the moment.

  Adrien hopped on my lap and pulled up his knees before fully focusing on me. Jesus, the boy’s eyes, so much like his father’s, disarmed me.

  I combed the locks off his forehead with my one hand, smiling at him. “What is it, honey?”

  He pursed his lips, shifted on my lap, and said, “Can I call you Mama?”

  I almost choked on my wine. My throat closed and I clutched the glass tightly in my hand. From the corner of my eye, I saw Remington go still. I couldn’t face him because I didn’t want him to see the devastation tearing at my heart.

  Adrien blinked up at me, his huge eyes full of unguarded hope.

  “Could you please bring the wine opener from the kitchen, Adrien?” Remington’s voice interrupted the panic storming inside me.

  Adrien hopped down from my lap and shuffled his way into the kitchen.

  “Selene. I am so sorry for that. I’ve been foolish to assume something like this would never happen,” Remington said, color rising on his ears. “He loves you, but I never expected him to say something like that. I’ll talk to him when he comes back.”

  I swallowed and shook my head. “No need to apologize. He has good taste,” I said, trying to ease the tension swirling around us. Before I could say something else, Adrien returned with the wine opener, gave it to his father and turned to look at me. God, the look in his eyes completely wiped out any reservations in me. Adrien and Remington were both my strength and my weakness. Adrien had a way of filling the hole in my chest because he loved wholeheartedly. Remington gave me back something I’d been missing all those years. He made me realize my sexuality and every single look from him made me feel like I mattered. He also loved freely and strongly when he finally dropped the hot-and-cold mood swings. However, my stay in France was short. Forming any attachments would end up destroying us. Me. After James, I had promised myself I would never let myself be vulnerable again. Yet here I was. However, this time someone else needed me. Remington depended on me for more than just sex. We had both gone through so much in our lives. We understood each other.

  It hit me then. Flirting wasn’t something I could do without getting my heart involved. I had unwittingly become deeply involved in this relationship and if something would ever happen to Adrien and Remington . . . I shut my eyes tight, not wanting to think about it, and when I opened them again, Adrien’s big, green eyes were on me, waiting. Why wasn’t Remington saying anything?

  I flicked a gaze at him, catching his guarded expression.

  “Come here, Adrien.” Remington held out his hand to his son, the look on his face heartbreakingly gentle. Adrien flicked a gaze at his father before turning to me. I bit back a smile as I watched the father-son interaction. Remington had just been served the I’m-busy-right-now look. Exasperation filled Remington’s face and his lips tightened in irritation. He moved to stand up.

  “Don’t you want to call me Selene anymore?” I asked quickly before Remington could haul the boy away. From the corner of my eyes, I saw him shift on the edge of his seat.

  He shook his head. “I don’t have a mama and all the children in my class have mothers.” He squinted and cocked his head to the side, as if mulling over something in his head. “Well, what do you think, Papa?”

  Finally, Remington stood up, pulled his son toward him and onto his lap. “Selene is with us for a short time. She has to go back home eventually, you know.” His expression said differently. Why did he have to be so confusing?

  “I know, Papa. Why can’t she stay here with us forever? You love her and she loves you, no? I’ve seen you kiss her and only people who love each other kiss.”

  Remington stared at me with a look I was becoming used to. A look that dried my throat and mouth, and one that spoke of so many things without uttering a single word. His gaze left mine, and he took a deep breath. He seemed conflicted, unlike the man I’d come to know.

  “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” I stood up and left for the bathroom, shaking my head slightly when I saw Remington shift in his chair as if he wanted to follow me.

  Inside the
bathroom, I locked the door and braced my back on it. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my speeding heart.

  Shit. What was I going to tell Adrien? The boy held my heart in his tiny hands. Was there a way this could work when I returned to the US?

  I had to talk to Remington before confirming anything to Adrien.

  After splashing cold water on my face, I patted my face dry with a towel and went back to the patio. Remington and Adrien were thumb wrestling, and it looked like the boy was winning—his father was letting him. My chest warmed all over again. Damn stupid heart.

  Adrien yelled my name from his father’s lap, and told me he had won. I chuckled at the comical pretend-defeated look on his father’s face.

  If Remington had intended the game to be a distraction, it didn’t work because the next minute, Adrien fixed those adorable eyes at on me and asked, “Can I, Selene? Can I call you Mama?” The wall of resistance crumbled completely.

  “Yes, honey. You can call me Mama.” The words poured from my lips before I could stop them, negating the decision I had made in the bathroom.

  Crap, crap, crap! I opened my mouth to rectify the situation, but Adrien was already scrambling off his father’s lap and hurtling toward me. I caught him in a hug.

  Remington stared at me, caught between anger, shock, and disbelief, and what I thought was the slightest touch of hope.

  “Time for bed, Adrien.” His voice was firm as he stood from his chair.

  What have I done?

  Adrien gave me a wet kiss on my cheek. “Je t’aime, Selene,” he whispered, pulling back and hold my face in his small hands.

  My eyes burned and I swear my heart did this crazy dance inside my chest. I never expected to ever hear those words from him. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was a point of no return for me. For him. “Moi aussi, Je t’aime, Adrien.” He planted another kiss on my cheek and sprinted upstairs. I quickly brushed my eyes with my fingers just as Remington turned around to face me, rifling his fingers through his hair, and tugging it back.

  “You had no right to tell him that, Selene. Why didn’t you wait to talk about this with me first?” He started pacing, his hands propped on his hips. “I’ve been trying to protect him from situations like this, but I met you. And somehow, I couldn’t stop myself from seeing you.” He seemed angrier with himself than with me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling my eyes burn. I blinked back the tears. I wasn’t going to do that now. “I know I shouldn’t have told him to call me that. Why didn’t you speak up, Remington? You just sat there and let me handle this. That was very selfish of you. You left me to handle this on my own.”

  He dragged his fingers through his hair again, stared at me for a few seconds, looking as if he wanted to say something. His eyes filled with regret and confusion before he turned and stalked out of the room. This situation was getting complicated too fast.

  Shit! Had I messed this up? The thought that Adrien might one day ask something like this never occurred to me. It should have, but I was busy soaking up each moment with them. His question had thrown me into a tailspin. All I could think about was the hopeful look of longing on his face and the constant craving that feasted on my memories of what could have been. I should have been prepared, but I was blinded by my stupid feelings. My vision blurred. I swiped a hand on my cheeks to wipe the tears.

  God, give me strength to handle this.

  I went inside the château to wait for Remington in the living room.

  Remington came down the stairs half an hour later and stalked into the kitchen, his stride a combination of fury and elegance and I was still turned on. What was wrong with me?

  I straightened, watched him as he poured wine into two glasses even though we had unfinished wine on the patio, and then strode into the living room and slid one toward me. He placed his on the table, took the seat opposite me, and continued to brood in silence while he stared at me the entire time. The look on his face was one I imagined a cat would wear while watching a mouse run around in circles before finally pouncing on it. I lost my patience, and the hopelessness I had felt moments ago melted away.

  I am stronger than the woman who was married to James. Remington and I needed to be honest and talk about things.

  “Do you want to talk about this or what?”

  He steepled his fingers, pressing them against his lips.

  Anger flared inside my chest, setting my blood on fire. I hadn’t allowed myself to feel anger in a long time so it felt refreshing for that dam to burst. “You pursued me, Remington. I was gone but you followed me to that hotel and pulled me back. What did you think was supposed to happen? Please understand I’m not heaping any blame on you, but damn it, Remington. You pursued me.” And brought me back to life.

  He continued to watch me silently, his eyes narrowed and his hair tousled from dragging his fingers through it. I’d forgotten how sexy Brooding Remington could be.

  I shot from the seat and stomped across the room with no particular direction in mind. I was annoyed with myself, with Remington, and the stupid threat looming over our heads. Then the floodgates of my soul burst open. The old hurts, fears, and rage I’d locked away nearly two years ago flared to life, and I jerked to a stop and whirled around.

  “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  He sat back, stretched out his legs, and watched me in my little tirade, his expression unreadable. The urge to get a reaction out of him was overwhelming. I glanced at the glass of wine then down at my feet. Probably throwing a shoe at him would be safer than the glass.

  “Oh my God, Remington. You are so frustrating!” No reaction. “Oh, fuck off!” I shouted at him, spinning around and heading upstairs. I hadn’t spoken that word out loud in a long time and it felt very liberating. “Fuck you very much,” I muttered under my breath, but loud enough for the words to travel across the quiet room and slap him in the face. The effect was ruined when I brushed my face and felt the tears burning a trail down my cheeks.

  I reached the landing, made a beeline for his room, and froze, glancing at the rest of the rooms down the hall. If he wasn’t at least going to talk to me, I wasn’t sleeping in his bed. I hoped he’d be cooled off by morning. I hurried inside his room, grabbed my toothbrush, camisole, and sleeping shorts and left.

  “Where do you think you are going?”

  I stopped and turned around. “So you want to talk now? Leave me alone. I’m tired.”

  His gaze fell on the stuff in my hands and closed the distance between us in two long strides and tugged the items from my hands. At the same time, his free hand went around my waist, pulling me close and his lips were on mine in no time.

  “Leaving you alone is not something I can do, Selene. Don’t you know that by now?” he murmured against my lips.

  I pushed his chest with my hands, but he didn’t budge. Instead, he pushed his lips to mine, nipping my bottom lip, and forcing my mouth open while his hand gripped my hip in slow, tantalizing squeezes that sent shivers up and down my spine. His tongue plunged into my mouth in deliberate stroked. I could taste the sweet flavor from the wine. My cami and shorts dropped to the floor and his fingers circled the nape of my neck, holding me in place. The kiss shifted, and he kissed me furiously as if punishing me for something I had done. The anger that had been roaming my body minutes ago morphed into lust and my hands sank into his hair, tugging and holding him in place.

  “I was an idiot,” he said hoarsely, pressing his forehead against mine.

  “Y—yes, you were,” I breathed out the words. “You hurt me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You should be. Why didn’t you let me go when I left your house? If you didn’t want Adrien getting close to me, you shouldn’t have let me in your lives.”

  “I’m very sorry,” he said remorsefully. “I have never been in a situation like this before. I handled this badly, Selene. I promised myself I’d never hurt you, but I did that tonight. Tell me what I can do to
make it up to you.” He was quiet for a few seconds. “You told me to fuck off.” He sounded amused.

  “And I meant it.”

  “Hearing that word from your mouth was very sexy.”

  I rolled my eyes, moving away from his arms. “You were angry with me for what I told Adrien.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement.

  “At first I was. Then I realized I was angrier with myself than I was at you.”

  I remembered what he said before and anger stirred back to life in my blood. “So you regret letting me into your lives?”

  “No. Never.” He bit his bottom lip between his teeth and peered at me under his lashes. “Are you going to tell me to fuck off?” The side of his mouth quirked up and he reached out, grabbing my upper arm and dragging me back into his embrace.

  “I’m going to bed.” I finally wrenched free and grabbed my stuff from the floor, heading toward one of the guest rooms.

  “Don’t walk away from me, Selene.” His voice sounded so close. When I looked over my shoulder, his face was all I could see as he trailed close. He grabbed my arm, spun me around, and before I could gasp, I was in his arms again, and he was stalking toward his room.

  “Do you know what it feels like to watch you walk away from me, Selene?” His breath was warm against my cheek. “Pain. It feels as though my chest has been cut open, and my heart ripped from it. I don’t like it.”

  My heart broke a little at his words. This confident, proud man had been hurt so deeply, yet he was strong enough to utter such honest feelings. James did a lot of damage to my self-esteem. Remington seemed to be intent on building it back up again and comments like these did so much to my heart. However, in some ways, I was still angry with myself and also the way we’d handled the situation. Yes, it was selfish of us, and perhaps as we had continued this dance, we had neglected to consider the impact on Adrien’s young heart. Remington thought I had the ability to rip his heart from him, but he and his son held my heart. I was completely at their mercy. I remembered the conversation I had with Luc and Dom a few days ago. I opened my mouth and answered him honestly. “I’ll never walk away from you.”