The Art of Sage (Cruz Brothers #2)

by Melanie Munton

  “Why the fuck not?” Mason growled.

  “Not enough evidence. His wife never saw anything and the circumstances being what they were, they couldn’t exactly do a rape kit. So, it came down to my word against his and he had a well-paid lawyer. Not to mention the fact that he had always been an upstanding member of the community. One of those you would never expect to do such things, you know? It wasn’t like he was an abusive bar fly who was in and out of jail all the time or something. They ended up saying that I was a troubled child who was still distraught over the death of my mother and was looking for some attention. He avoided prison, I was moved to a different family, and I never heard from nor saw him again. I didn’t want to hear his name, I didn’t want anything to do with him after that. I hope he’s rotting in a ditch somewhere since he’s not rotting behind bars where he belongs.

  “I was in bad shape for a while until I was placed with the Mitchells where I met Pierce. They were the best kind of family a kid could ask for, and Pierce eventually got me out of my shell. Remember the story I told you about covering up my scar tissue with these flowers?” I asked, pointing to the vine of flowers on my thigh.

  He nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Well, that story was true, but there was another reason I wanted something pretty to grow there. To cover up the scarring you couldn’t see. Every time Roy would come into my room, he would put his hands on my thighs to pry my legs apart. Every time. I couldn’t even touch myself there for so long without picturing him in my mind. So, like I said, I wanted something pretty to cover up the ugly.”

  He muttered a low curse and kissed the back of my neck. “By the time I graduated high school, I knew that I wanted to make sure that other kids wouldn’t have the same experience I did. So, here I am.”

  Mason was silent for several minutes, digesting everything he heard. “And that’s why you don’t like to go slow and gentle with sex? Because it reminds you of him and what he used to do to you?”

  All I could do was nod. “Oh, baby,” he groaned, burying his face in my neck. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine what that was like and I wish I could take all the bad away. But I can promise you that it would be different with me. I would make it good—special—for you, Sage. I swear, it would be nothing like your nightmares.”

  “It’s just…” God, I really was so fucked up. “I don’t even know if I can do it that way anymore. I mean, I’ve been like this for so long, I don’t know if I would even enjoy it that way. I’m sorry, that’s so terrible.” I lowered my head in shame, embarrassed that I couldn’t control my body’s sexual responses.

  “It’s not terrible, baby,” Mason insisted. “It’s understandable. You just haven’t had anyone to change it around for you. I can do that if you’ll let me.”

  I bit my lip to stop myself from releasing more tears. “I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

  He was quiet again for a few beats and then said something that physically jolted me. “My father is dying.”

  I had to pause to make sure I’d heard him correctly. “What?”

  He had told me bits and pieces of his childhood over the weeks we’d been together. I knew that his father used to hit Mason and his brothers, along with his wife, and I knew that he was a drunk. There was certainly no love lost between the Cruz brothers and their father. But still…

  “Cirrhosis of the liver. The doctors say he might have a month or two left at this point.”

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry—”

  “Don’t be,” he spat. “It’s karma coming back to kick him in the ass for his lifetime of sins. My brothers and I haven’t been grieving and we won’t mourn his loss. I’ve seen him in person once in the last six years, and that conversation didn’t go well. In fact, it brought all of those old feelings back and reminded me why I hate him so much.”

  I sat up and turned around to look at him, assessing his features. “That doesn’t make you a bad person if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

  He shook his head. “No, that’s not what I’m afraid of. My biggest fear—what scares me the most—is the possibility that when he dies, I’m going to feel…relieved.” His breath came out in short, quick pants. “That’s what I’m afraid of, Sage. That I’m going to be glad he’s gone and that the hold he has on our entire family will finally be severed. What kind of person does that make me? Someone who’s happy about death. Because whoever that is, I don’t want to be him. But I can’t find the will to forgive the man either.”

  It was my turn to wrap my arms around him and hold his face to my chest. “Nobody would blame you for that,” I told him. “Anger is part of the healing process. You’ll have your own way of mourning and saying goodbye. You just need to make sure that you do whatever you need to do or say or ask before it’s too late. Because you don’t want regrets, Mason. Get your closure, find your peace, but don’t have regrets. Those stay with you and they don’t easily go away.”

  We sat there for a few moments before he gently pushed me back onto the bed, holding himself over me. Slowly, he removed my clothing, taking in my body as it was revealed to him, his eyes heating with every part exposed. Whenever we were finally skin to skin, he laid on top of me, allowing me to feel his warmth and strength. We caressed each other, luxuriating in the feel of our naked bodies pressed together.

  It was comforting.

  It was intimate.

  It was…a lot more enjoyable than I would have expected.

  “You told me your deepest secret, Sage,” he whispered, his eyes searching mine, “and I told you mine. There are no more barriers here, no one to keep us from having this. There’s just you and me.”

  “I’m scared,” I whispered. “What if I can’t handle it?”

  He placed a tender kiss on my lips. “I’m going to be right here the entire time, baby. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe with me, remember?”

  I nodded as he reached over to turn on the bedside lamp. “No darkness,” he said. “I want to see you and I want you to see me. To know that’s it me here with you.”

  Slowly, gently, he peppered sweet kisses along my neck, down my body and around my breasts. The sensations were delicious and every time old memories wanted to creep back in, I would pull Mason’s head up so I could look into his eyes, anchoring myself in the moment with those green pools.

  He crawled back up my body and began to slide inside me when he said it. “I love you. I’m in love with you, Sage.”

  Between the magnitude of that admission and the emotions I saw swimming in his eyes, more tears leaked out. “I love you, too.”

  I don’t think I had ever been more certain of anything in my life than my feelings for Mason in that moment. He got me. In every way he understood me, wanted to know me, and most importantly, he accepted me. And if none of that had done it, the look on his face as I said those four words would have tipped me over the edge.

  He moved in and out of me slowly. His hold on me was gentle as his body thrusted. And his voice was tender as he guided me through our love making, coaxing me to ride that crest with him.

  “No closing your eyes, baby,” he said when the pleasure started to become too much. “Keep them open and on me the entire time. I need to make sure you’re right here with me, staying with me. Don’t leave me.”

  Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from this man.

  I was surprised with how quickly he was bringing me to my release with nothing but the sweet rocking of his hips and soothing tones of his voice. There was no pain, no dirty words, no rough embraces. I knew that I was still going to want all of that sometimes, but the slow and gentle stuff with Mason could work too, I was finding.

  “You’re going to make me,” I panted. “You’re going to make me…”

  “Let me have it, baby. Come for me like this. Oh God, I need you to.”

  What surprised me more was that there could be passion without all the pain. That sex like this could be just as all-consuming as the frenzy that w
e normally engaged in. He was right. It was a different type of connection. As I climaxed around him and he spilled inside me without breaking eye contact, I became a part of Mason. We became joined in the most precious way, and it was pulling emotions out of me that I’d truly never experienced before.

  He didn’t move after he finished, both of us content to just lay together in blissful, sated peace. “That was what I wanted,” he eventually said, still catching his breath. “That was the missing piece. Jesus, that was…everything.”

  Yes. It was everything.

  And what surprised me the most? I hadn’t thought of Roy once.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sage

  “You didn’t.”

  I laughed at Dawson’s grumbled words as he laid eyes on Mason’s birthday gifts to his niece and nephew. Technically, the bikes were from me too. I even helped bedazzle Gabby’s and paint the flames on Leo’s so I was taking some of the credit even though it was completely Mason’s idea. Personally, I thought it was adorable. Their own little Cruz Custom rides.

  I smiled brightly as Mason wheeled them out to the backyard where almost a dozen children were eating cake and ice cream and running around screaming for no apparent reason. Birthday parties were like crack for kids and headaches for adults, though I was having a great time. Gabby and Leo shot up from their seats at the picnic table and sprinted over to the bikes, yelling around mouthfuls of cake.

  “Cool, Uncle Mason! Is mine the one with the flames?”

  “The sparkly one is mine! It’s so pretty!”

  “Whoa,” Mickie exclaimed, assessing the bikes. “Those are awesome. I’m officially impressed.”

  Mason looked up at her, offended. “You hardly showed any reaction whenever I finished my GTO. Yet you’re impressed by tiny bikes with cool designs and tricked out baskets?”

  She smirked at him, shrugging her shoulder. “Eh, so you re-built an engine. How hard can that be? But making these two happy…now that takes work. So yes, I’m impressed.”

  I laughed as Mason shook his head in disbelief. Today was the twin’s fifth birthday party and also the day I met Dawson and Mickie for the first time. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I loved them as much as I did Parker, especially when it was obvious they were as accepting of me as the youngest Cruz brother. And they seemed to be great parents to their children. A trait I highly respected, especially in my line of work.

  “Looks like we’re going to have to work on riding without our training wheels,” Dawson called to the kids as they both hopped on their respective bikes and took off across the grass.

  “I can do it!” Leo said. “I can ride on two wheels, just like the motorcycles in Uncle Mason’s shop. I’m not a baby.”

  “Neither am I!” Gabby shouted with the cutest scowl on her face.

  Mason shot me a wink that made my insides squirm. I pulled something out of my pocket, making him smile when his eyes caught the colorful designs. Having already cleared it with Dawson and Mickie, I walked over to Leo.

  “Hey, wild child. You ready to get those tattoos?”

  His head snapped up at me, his eyes widening in excitement. “Yeah! Can we put them on now?”

  “Yep. Your mom and dad said it was okay. Let’s go sit down over there.”

  He followed me over to the picnic table where I spread out all the fake tattoo designs I brought. I could sense Gabby walking hesitantly over to us and bit back my smile. She had been timid around me from the beginning. I wasn’t sure if she just didn’t know how to handle strange females around or what, but I’d given her space to get used to me.

  “Choose which ones you like and I’ll put them on,” I told him. The other kids were all distracted playing the games that were scattered across the yard, so I thankfully didn’t have to put tattoos on every single one of them.

  “I like these,” Leo said, handing me the ones he’d selected.

  I glanced up at Mickie for her approval, which she gave me with a smile and a nod. “Okay, then. Where do you want them?”

  His hazel eyes skimmed my arms. “On my arms. Like yours.”

  I grinned and set to work putting the fake tattoos all over his little arms. I reassured Mickie that she could wash them off in his bath tonight, which was probably going to be a good idea considering the amount he’d picked. Baby sleeves. Cutest thing ever.

  When I was done putting them on, he held out his arms for his inspection, then jumped up and ran over to Dawson and Mason. “Look, Dad! Sage gave me tattoos like hers. Aren’t they cool, Uncle Mason?”

  Mason shot me a heated look before returning his attention to his nephew. “Yeah, buddy. Those are awesome. Now, you’ll have to get a cool nose ring like her too.”

  Dawson choked on his beer as Leo started jumping up and down. “Yeah! Can I, Dad? Please, please, please?”

  “No, you’re not old enough,” he said sternly, glaring at Mason who was unsuccessful in covering up his smile. “You need to go play with your friends before they all have to leave.” Leo darted off at a sprint and Dawson shoved Mason when he burst into laughter.

  “Um,” Gabby said softly, drawing my attention back to her. “Can I have some tattoos too, Sage?”

  My chest warmed at her sweet little voice and the nervous expression on her face. “Of course you can.” I pulled the rest of the tattoos out of my other pocket—all girly ones in case she changed her mind about me. “Pick the ones you want.”

  She ended up with a unicorn, a rainbow, a heart, and a tiara that she called her “princess crown.” After I finished, she ran off with a huge smile on her face but not before giving me a hug and telling me “thank you,” which, of course, made my heart totally melt. I was transfixed on the squealing throng of kids when Mickie sat down beside me on the bench.

  “You’re good with them,” she said, watching her son and daughter run around laughing. “The kids, I mean.”

  “I’ve been around kids for most of my life in one way or another, so I’ve figured out how they work. Mostly, anyway.” I chuckled but the sound came out flat. “I know that having ones of your own is completely different.”

  She made a noise that was a half laugh, half groan. “Tell me about it. It’s a whole new ballgame when you’re the one responsible for them. And every time you think you’ve got a handle on things, they surprise you again and pull the rug out from under you.”

  “And twins,” I mused, shaking my head. “I can’t imagine all of that at once. But you guys have done a great job with them, by the way. I’m no expert on parenting, but I’ve seen my fair share of bad cases and you two are the best a child could ask for.”

  She turned to me, smiling softly. “Thank you. It’s not always easy, especially with our crazy jobs. But the kids always come first, no matter what’s going on with us.” She got a far off look in her eyes and huffed out a breath. “We haven’t even been on a date, just the two of us, in…I don’t even know how long.”

  I frowned, detecting hurt in her voice. “Well, I’m no expert in marriage and relationships either, just ask my ex-husband. But if I were you, I would set aside a date night every so often and make him take you out for a nice meal. We can’t let them off so easy by making them think they don’t have to wine and dine us anymore. It sets precedence.”

  I meant that to be funny, but Mickie just studied me with an interested expression. “I didn’t know you were ever married.”

  “Only for three years,” I sighed. “We were young and rushed things before we really knew each other well. Or knew ourselves, for that matter. We just weren’t a good team, you know?”

  She nodded slowly. “I used to think Dawson and I were a good team. A great one, actually. But lately, everything has just seemed so hectic. We don’t have that same flow that we used to have. Not since he became a detective and I got my promotion.”

  Alarm bells started going off in my head, and I was suddenly uncertain if I should have been having this conversation with her. It sounded like she nee
ded to discuss some of those things with her husband, not a woman she’d just met.

  “Every married couple has those ups and downs,” I said, trying to sound reassuring. “You two will find your groove again. It just takes patience and communication.” Not like I knew much about that.

  “How did you know?” she whispered, looking up at me when I didn’t immediately answer. “How did you know that you and your ex weren’t meant for each other?”

  Shit. It really seemed like she needed someone to talk to, but I didn’t want to get in the middle of whatever was going on between her and Dawson. I didn’t want my past experiences with Scott to sway her in a direction that she didn’t need to venture down.

  “I guess I always knew deep down that he wasn’t someone I was going to be with for the rest of my life. But it finally dawned on me one night during a fight we were having. I was upset and at one point I apologized that I couldn’t make him happy. And he…never denied it. In fact, he never said anything in response to that. He heard every word I said, but he just sat there and didn’t deny it. That was when I knew it was the truth. I really didn’t make him happy, and at that point it was like, what else do I do aside from divorcing him? I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t happy, and I wouldn’t have forced him to stay if he wasn’t.”

  She lowered her head, her eyes narrowing in thought. I began to panic, worrying that I’d said something I shouldn’t have so I tried to switch gears. “How did you and Dawson meet?”

  Her mouth twitched, her eyes softening. “At a concert. We were both in college at the time. He was charming but the unassuming type, you know? He wasn’t like most of the guys I knew or had dated at that time. He wasn’t a tool or a jerk or full of himself. He was considerate and funny and…I don’t know, I just always had so much fun with him.”