For His Eyes Only

by Lexi Blake

  He was well aware his accent was thickening and he was dropping articles. It did when he got emotional and forgot to try to blend in.

  She held a hand up as though she needed to keep some obstruction between them. “I didn’t come back here to crawl into bed with you, Nikolai. I came back because you’re the only person I know who I don’t mind putting up against these bastards. Here’s a news bulletin for you. I don’t have gas in my home, nor is there a line anywhere near my house. They’re lying and I don’t know why.”

  “There could have been natural gas beneath the ground. The Pacific Northwest has many earthquakes.”

  “Fine. It was all in my head. It’s all nothing more than science and the poor choice of living space. Fine. Explain away the cop who tried to shoot me.”

  “What?”

  “I thought they were being so kind. A little chintzy with the cash, but kind. They put me in a crappy motel, but it wasn’t until I went to get some ice that I realized I was the only one in the motel. It was deserted, at least the part they put me in. I was walking back to my room when I saw him.”

  “Who? Do you know this man’s name?”

  She shook her head. “Officer Harris. I recognized him from the police station. He’d been in uniform then. When he showed up to kill me, he’d changed. I watched as he kicked in my door. There was a gun in his hand. I didn’t see anything after that. I ran. That was two days ago.”

  His chest felt tight. She was going to give him a damn heart attack. “Where have you been? How did you get to London? Bloody hell, woman, why did you not call me?”

  She frowned his way. “First, stop yelling at me. Second, are you all right? Because you went pale and your eyebrow is twitching.”

  “Because heart is about to give out.”

  “Suck it up.” There was no sympathy in her eyes. “You’re of no use to me at all if you have a heart attack. So, to answer your questions. I hid in the woods until I managed to hitch a ride.”

  “You did what?”

  “Well, I couldn’t call a damn Uber. They require a credit card and I had to dump mine.” She paled a bit. “I’d taken my backpack with me because I wasn’t sure I could carry everything. Thank god I did or I wouldn’t have had anything at all. Still, I knew better than to use the cards and I dumped my phone. I caught a ride to Portland with a dude driving electronics in from Canada. Or that’s what he said. I was unaware there was a massive Canadian electronics manufacturer. I had some suspicions that he was hauling either stolen goods or bootleg meds. I’ve heard they do that now that the American healthcare system is in such disarray. And I don’t blame them. Do you know what birth control costs if you don’t have health insurance? Oh, I’m sure the docs will pass out the little blue pills like they’re candy, but do they think about who bears that burden?”

  “Hayley! Focus.”

  She’d always gone on and on when she was nervous. He used to find it charming. Now he simply wanted to get to the part of the story where she told him who he could kill.

  Because vengeance, it turned out, was still on the menu.

  Chapter Two

  Why did he have to look like that? Couldn’t five years of debauchery have given him wrinkles or something? He’d been working over a sex club. Shouldn’t that show on his face? But no, not Nikolai Markovic. He was still every bit as stunning and masculine and sexy as he’d ever been. His shoulders were just as broad, his face as swoon-worthy. And that stern look he gave her kind of did something for her.

  She’d never seen that look from him before. He’d always been so friendly and tolerant of her quirks. Now he was staring at her like he was ready to murder someone.

  And yet, she’d totally known he was a killer. Not killer. It wasn’t like he did it indiscriminately. He did it when he had to make sure the country was safe. Whatever country he was protecting at the time. Now that seemed to be England.

  And she was supposed to be focusing. And not on his chest. Not on his big, broad, muscular chest. “So, like I was saying, I hitched a ride and managed to not get serially murdered. Which, considering that I was in Washington state, is something of a miracle. So I get to Portland and ditch the trucker, who was super creepy, at a gas station and make my way to the suburbs. I remembered that was where Dodi Basra ended up. She was my father’s friend and one of the greatest identity forgers on the planet. She gave me a passport, and I need you to send her three grand because she’s the only reason I’m alive and here in England. She got me a passport and booked my extremely low-end flight here, which consisted of three layovers, including a lovely nine hours in Cleveland. So I’m tired as hell and I need you to start investigating. After you hand over the keys to your place because I need a nap.”

  He frowned her way, the expression doing absolutely nothing to take away from how hot he was. God, she hoped he had a guest room because the couch would suck and she would need a couple of walls between them to keep her sanity.

  Nothing had ever felt as good as having those big arms around her. So safe. So fucking right. She’d been able to cry. She’d held it all in for days, but once she’d felt Nick’s arms winding around her, she’d been able to cry and it felt so good. Like a crazy heavy weight had been lifted.

  “Why would someone come after you in such a fashion?” Nick asked, his voice dark and deep.

  Yeah, he’d never used that voice on her before either. It was like dark chocolate. A little addictive. She had to shake her head to force herself back to reality. “I don’t think they’re coming after me. I think they’re coming after Des.”

  His whole body shut down in an instant, his shoulders lowering, his head dropping. “Des is dead. There’s no reason to hurt her now. She can’t be hurt.”

  She could hear his damn subtext. Des was never able to be hurt. Not really.

  No. He’d made his choice. She wasn’t going to empathize with him now.

  She wasn’t here to fix what had gone wrong with Nick. She wasn’t here to rekindle some stupid flame. She was here to take him up on his offer and to make sure she survived the next few days. That was all.

  She damn sure wasn’t here to cry on his chest and lift her head, hoping he would kiss her.

  She was so tired. That was why she’d cried in his arms. That was why it felt so good. It wasn’t Nick. He was simply big and strong and might possibly help her out. She slumped down into the chair in front of his desk and immediately regretted it. Nick loomed above her, his icy eyes staring down. It was a reminder of how big he was, how strong. How serious he got when he pressed her down into the mattress, right before he leaned down and kissed her senseless.

  “You were going to tell me why you think this is about Des.”

  The sound of Des’s name coming from his mouth was enough to make her sit up straighter. She wasn’t the same idiot girl she’d been five years before. “I don’t know how much you know about Des’s will.”

  “I told your family I wanted nothing from her. I have everything I need to remember her.”

  “Well, she left me the contents of her apartment in Tokyo.”

  His lips curled up. “There wasn’t all that much. It was a tiny place, but she did have some sentimental items there. And she kept some jewelry and cash in all her safe houses.”

  Her cousin, the spy. “Yes, it was quite a bit of cash and it was all kept in a book safe. I thought it was weird that Des would read Dickens. Then I figured out it was a safe. I got it open and found a few things.”

  He reached out, touching the red and gold Venetian glass heart she was wearing around her neck. It had been in the small safe along with the two letters, seven thousand in yen that was now ash, and two sets of passports and visas Des would have used if she needed to slip out of the country.

  “I remember seeing her wear that. I thought it rather odd since Des never wore less than the best. If I was going to buy her jewelry, I knew it would be expensive.”

  Because everyone laid jewels at the feet of Queen Desiree. “I bough
t it for her when I was fifteen. My dad took me to the yearly retreat at Martha’s Vineyard and Des was always so nice to me.”

  “She liked you very much. She always said of all her family, if she could have chosen her sister, it would have been you.”

  Damn. She’d spent five years hating Des and yet she still teared up thinking about her. So many conflicting emotions had come out when she’d seen that dumb heart that had cost her fifty dollars. She’d saved up for months to get it. She’d watched as her larger than life cousin had opened her other presents. Hermès. Chanel. Van Cleef and Arpels. Hayley had cringed as Des had opened it, but she’d proclaimed it lovely and immediately traded her Cartier collar for the cheap glass.

  Even as guilt had swept through Hayley, she’d felt the need to wear that heart. The necklace and letters were the only things that had survived.

  “Yeah, well, I’m sure after what happened, she didn’t think that way anymore.” She’d gone after her cousin’s lover. Oh, at the time, Des had told her that she and Nick had broken up and she wouldn’t be seeing him ever again, but Hayley had broken the girl code.

  Thou shalt not go after thy cousin’s leavings…even if he’s everything you’ve dreamed of in a man. Even if you’re a stupid girl who thinks she’s in love.

  Nick chuckled, the sound deep and deliciously dark. “She said that a few months before she died. She got news that you were going for your doctorate. She always said you were a smart girl.”

  “How did she know that?” And why would Des care? Des had been so damn complex. Kind when she should be cruel. A true mean girl when she wanted to be.

  Hayley had been so humiliated that night, but sometimes when she thought about it, she could still hear Des talking to her after Nick walked out.

  He would hurt you, sweetie. He’s not in a place where he can be what you need him to be, but who knows? The world has a way of changing on us. We have to be ready when it does. Go to school. Become the woman you were meant to be. You’ll thank me one day. One day, maybe you’ll even forgive me.

  She took a deep breath and tried to banish the thoughts. Guilt and anger and sorrow. It was a boiling cauldron of emotion she got when she thought of her cousin.

  “I believe she was in touch with your father before she died.” He sat back up, his features going grim once more. “I was sorry to hear of your father’s passing.”

  She’d gotten the flowers he’d sent. Not that there had been much of a funeral. His ashes had been presented to her and she’d had them interred in the family crypt. The same one that held Des’s ashes. It had been seven months before and she’d thought so much about looking Nick up and seeing how he was doing.

  She’d ignored the impulse the same way she intended to ignore all her impulses when it came to Nick Markovic. “Dad never mentioned he’d talked to Des. I know sometimes he’d call her when he was playing in Europe, but I don’t think they regularly kept in touch.”

  “They spoke more than you know.” The words were said with the crisp bite of a man who didn’t want to delve into the subject. Probably because talking about Desiree still hurt him even years after her death. “So you received the package from Tokyo and then your house exploded? There was no request for information? No contact at all with someone who was interested in what you inherited?”

  She could barely keep her eyes open. Now that she was sitting and had a nice cry, she was so damn tired. The events of the last few days were hazy. “Not that I remember. I would certainly remember it if someone threatened to kill me.”

  He sighed. “You need sleep. Come, I’ll take you to my room until I can have Teresa set up one for you.”

  She was curious to see where he lived. Had Des lived with him? Had they set up a nice flat here in this quiet part of London or had they gone swanky and upscale? “How far away is it?”

  He held out a hand. “It’s two floors up. Are you hungry? Teresa or one of the other subs won’t mind preparing something for you.”

  Subs? Submissives. Like her romance novels. He lived in a sex club and had a bunch of submissives who wouldn’t mind taking care of his ragged old one-night stand.

  She stood up suddenly, avoiding his help. “I’m not staying here.”

  He frowned. “The Garden is the safest place I know. You can have your own room if you like, or if you feel safer, you can stay with me. I’ll take the couch.”

  “I’m not staying here, Nick. I’m not going to bed down in some orgy club. You think that would make me feel safe?”

  His eyes went cold. “You think someone will hurt you here? You think I would allow that?”

  She would be incredibly hurt if she had to come out of her lonely room looking for a bottle of water and managed to run into Nick and his likely harem of women. He’d talked about the subs so casually. Were they his submissives? Des had laughed about it once. It had been a sex game to her. She’d always said Nicky took it too seriously. It was one of the things they’d fought over. Hayley knew they hadn’t been monogamous. Why wouldn’t he have a harem of subs to do his bidding now?

  She hadn’t thought this through. “I’ll find a hotel.”

  He moved in front of her. “With what? How did you get from the airport to here? Do you have any cash at all?”

  He had her there. She had about ten dollars left of the two hundred she’d borrowed and she didn’t have a credit card. “I need to borrow some cash and I need to find someplace cheap. A youth hostel, maybe.”

  At twenty-five, she wasn’t exactly the college student they typically took in, but she certainly looked ragged enough.

  “Hayley, be sensible. No one is going to touch you. That’s not how The Garden works. Unless you go down to the club, you won’t even see anything.”

  Sure she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t see who he’d moved on with when she couldn’t move on at all. Maybe it was the horror she’d been through. Maybe it was all the tension and strain and lack of sleep, but she simply couldn’t be rational. She couldn’t stay with him. It was too much. Seeing him, being close to him, brought back too much heartache.

  If she didn’t get out of here soon, she was going to cry again, and she couldn’t be vulnerable around him.

  “I’m finding a hotel whether you help me or not. I bet that Scottish guy will loan me a couple of pounds.” She glanced toward the door. Surely someone would help her.

  God, she had no one. She couldn’t go home. Not until she figured out what was going on. Her father had died months before. Des before that. Her mother had passed while she was in college. She couldn’t risk bringing any friends from home into this. Not that she had many. Academia turned out to be pretty cutthroat.

  “Owen barely remembers his own name, much less has any cash on him. We don’t let him out much because he ends up getting lost.”

  Then she was on her own. It struck her that she was acting like a damn crazy person, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to stop. She’d come to ask for his help. He would figure out who was coming for her, but that didn’t mean she had to see him.

  Tomorrow she could go north and visit her aunt. Who hated her and thought Americans were all barbarians.

  She strode out the door and almost immediately ran into a gorgeous blonde woman. She nearly knocked her over, and it was only the other woman’s quick hands that saved the tray she was holding.

  The blonde looked up at Nick. “I’m sorry, Sir. I thought you and your guest might like some tea.”

  “Thank you so much, Teresa. It was a kind gesture, but I’m having a bit of trouble with this particular guest.” He stared her way. “Go back to my office, Hayley. There’s no reason to cause a scene.”

  Teresa. The sub who wouldn’t mind making her some lunch.

  Naturally Nick had moved from Des to gorgeous Teresa.

  What had she been thinking? Somewhere in the back of her stupid head she’d thought that she would walk in the room and what? That time would dissolve and he would choose again? That he’d realized his mistake and w
ould fall into her arms?

  Such a stupid girl.

  She hadn’t given him the letter, either. She was an awful human being, but she wasn’t going to do it today. After she’d had some sleep and some food she would be better. Then she would be capable of acting her age.

  She held a hand up. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here. I’m not the type of person who stays at a sex club. I’m respectable and I intend to stay that way.”

  “This is ridiculous.”

  Yes, of course he would see it that way. “Could I please borrow a few pounds? I’ll figure out the rest later, but I have to find a hotel.”

  The smile on his face didn’t come close to being amused. “A few pounds won’t get you into a hotel in Chelsea. If you insist on playing the prude, I’ll have to go along. Teresa, please let Kayla know I’ll be back in the morning. I assume you won’t eschew my investigative services because of the building I happen to live and work in. Or am I too dirty to even look into the situation for you?”

  She felt tears pierce her eyes. Naturally he put the worst spin on things. The only real spin he could since she wasn’t going to admit how sick the thought of watching him with other women made her. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

  “So beggars can’t be choosers,” he said, bitterness evident. “Well, I assure you I won’t expose you to my filthy lifestyle. I think that’s how your aunt put it the last time I was in a room with her. Filthy foreigner. Disgusting lifestyle. I suppose you’ve gotten closer to that side of the family. Come along, then. I’ll find you someplace respectable to stay.”

  He strode toward the elevator and she was left with the blonde staring at her like she was some kind of monster.

  “He’s a good man. He didn’t deserve the hell your family put him through. My tea is excellent, and I won’t even go into how amazing my biscuits are. You don’t get my tea. My tea is only for filthy, disgusting people.” Teresa turned on her heels and walked away, tea tray in hand.

  The first food she’d been close to in hours and hours.