Reasons Not to Fall in Love

by Moseley, Kirsty

  I groaned in protest, but turned as instructed, knowing she’d only whine and whine until I conceded anyway. When she’d set the beautiful thing around my neck, I looked at myself in the mirror and chewed on my lip. Skye looped her arm through mine and smiled. My heart sank. I felt so plain, ugly and worthless standing next to Skye. She was gorgeous, made even more so by the expensive highlights in her hair, the lash extensions and the manicure. She and Brandon had always been on the opposite side of the breadline to me. Skye had probably never worked a hard day in her life. Me, on the other hand… I could see the wrinkles forming around my eyes where I had stresses and worries that kept me awake well into the night. My nails weren’t perfectly long and shaped like hers were; instead, they were short and broken because of too much washing up in the kitchen of the café and scrubbing of office buildings. I looked like I was playing dress-up in her expensive-looking dress. I actually detested myself.

  My eyes swam with tears, so I looked away to Evie. “What about you then, sweetie pie, are you getting all dressed up for Daddy’s party?” I asked, looking down at her in her pyjamas.

  She nodded and gripped my hand, practically dragging me out of Skye’s bedroom. In the hallway, I came face to face with Brandon. He smiled warmly as he looked me over in my borrowed clothes. “Wow, Bronwyn, you look amazing,” he praised. It wasn’t a creepy flirty comment though, he didn’t view me like that, he certainly always treated me as his little sister too. In fact, I’d never seen Brandon look at anyone other than his wife – unlike my cheating ex-husband. Skye never had any problems keeping her man’s attention. He’d never strayed once; he was still as in love with her today as he was when they first got together all those years ago. I knew that was because Skye was a special person, and I was just… Bronwyn Reynolds, soon to be Bronwyn Johnson again as soon as I signed that change of name form.

  “Thanks. I’d better go get Evie dressed. We have to leave soon, I guess,” I replied, shrugging.

  He nodded. “Yeah, about half an hour or so.”

  The party was being held in a function room in the biggest and grandest hotel just outside Bath. As soon as we walked into the room, I wanted to leave. I was incredibly out of my depth amongst these people. I’d met a few of them before at other events, but the way they held themselves made me cringe inwardly because I knew I would never blend in.

  When a young, pretty waitress walked past me carrying a tray of expensive-looking canapés, I immediately felt like a fat, ugly frump. Her body, although covered in a smart uniform, was long and lean – the total opposite of mine. She would have been the type of girl that Finn would sniff around if he had come with me tonight.

  I took a deep breath and forced myself to stop thinking about Finn. No more tonight will that arsehole’s name cross my mind! I vowed. I decided that every time I thought his name, I would do a shot – one that burnt my throat and made me heave.

  Out of nowhere, a dark blonde head appeared at Brandon’s side. My breath caught in my throat as it did every time I saw him. Harrison Baxter. The one that made my panties wet every time he smiled at me. I looked him over and tried not to swoon. He was wearing black suit trousers, sexy little black boots and a grey button-up shirt that he wore unbuttoned a little, exposing the top of his chest. My tongue wet my lips as I imagined kissing that exposed patch of chest, running my lips down his body and maybe biting him a little.

  His eyes flicked over to me, and a little grin crossed his face. Oh God. He was beautiful; I’d always thought that, ever since the first time I met him when Evie was born. Every time I saw this man he made my knees tremble and my hand itch to stroke his face and lick his luscious lips. Somehow, he managed to look better the older he got. I had no idea how, at thirty-seven, he was still single.

  “Hey, Bronwyn,” he greeted warmly, stepping closer to me.

  I smiled back, trying not to ravage him with my eyes. “Hi. You all right?” I asked politely. My eyes flicked to the bar and I knew I needed a drink if I was to survive this party.

  “Yeah I’m good. I didn’t know you were coming tonight. You look great.”

  Great? Liar. I don’t look great. I forced a smile and Skye disappeared off with Evie to find my mum who was apparently around somewhere. “Thanks. Nice party.”

  Thankfully, he and Brandon started talking about work then, so I slipped away – hopefully unnoticed – and headed to the bar, leaning on it heavily. When someone leant down next to me, I turned and smiled politely until I realised that it was the guy from the new Hugo Boss aftershave advert. My eyes immediately widened and somehow, it was like I’d developed a sudden case of Tourette syndrome. “Oh my fuck! You’re… fuck… oh shit!” I cried excitedly, before slapping my hand over my mouth and blushing profusely.

  The guy recoiled, and a weak smile graced his lips as he looked at me like I was one of the little fangirls that probably followed him around daily. “Er… Hi. Can I get you a drink?” he offered, clearly uncomfortable with my psychotic staring that I just couldn’t seem to stop doing.

  I shook my head. My eyes were still wide and my throat was in the process of closing up because he was an actual, honest-to-goodness celebrity. “No, thanks,” I croaked. I backed up and practically ran to Brandon, gripping his arm and trying not to jump on the spot. “Oh God, the guy from the Hugo Boss ad is here. That model, the hot one with the sexy chin dimple!” I gasped.

  Brandon laughed and nodded. “Yeah, so?”

  “Yeah, so? Yeah, so? Are you freaking kidding me? He’s… oh my God, where the hell is Skye, this conversation is obviously lost on you,” I grumbled, looking around for her.

  Harrison stepped forward, squinting through the crowd to see the guy. “Let me guess, he’s a hot celebrity, and if you weren’t married you would be trying to bed him,” he stated, laughing wickedly.

  I grinned. “I’m not married any more, but I won’t be trying to bed him, that would just be embarrassing. But gosh damn he’s fine. Seriously, I might swoon at any second so be prepared to catch me,” I replied, not even a little bit joking.

  Harrison’s gaze snapped to mine as his eyes narrowed. “You’re not married? Since when?”

  “Since today.” I shrugged.

  He looked a little taken aback as his eyes flicked to Brandon. My brother-in-law nodded as if they were having some kind of secret conversation, and then Harrison turned to me with a smile that was so sexy it made even the Hugo Boss guy leave my mind. “So you’re divorced?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

  I nodded. “Yep.” My throat was still dry, reminding me that I hadn’t had a drink yet because of the whole running away from a hot celebrity thing earlier. “I want a drink. You want one?” I asked hopefully. Other than my mum and Skye, who were probably around somewhere, Harrison was the only other person who I knew in the room that I could be myself with.

  “Yeah, come on. Let’s go drink the free bar dry. I feel a drinking game is in order,” he suggested, grinning conspiratorially.

  My nose felt a little numb as I sat on the stool at the bar, sloshing back yet another drink as we played Truth or Dare. I was already drunk, so this game was getting better and better by the second. “OK, so I dare you to…” I looked around, trying to think of something good. “Go tell that guy over there that you’re gay and that you’d like to buy him a drink,” I instructed, giggling.

  Harrison gasped and looked at me like I was crazy. “Eric? He’s not even gay! I work with that guy,” he protested.

  I grinned, nodding. “I know.” I chuckled wickedly. “If you want to wimp out…” I raised one eyebrow teasingly, knowing he’d never back out; it just wasn’t in his nature.

  He groaned in frustration. “I’m starting to hate this game,” he muttered, pushing himself off of the stool, scowling at me.

  “And I’m starting to think this is the best game ever invented!” I countered, shooing him with my hand and laughing.

  I watched as he walked over to his co-worker and started talking to
him. He put his hand on Eric’s arm as he leant in, looking him right in the eyes. I must admit, he was playing his part better than I thought he would. When Eric’s eyes widened and his shoulders stiffened, I burst out laughing as he moved his arm, letting Harrison’s hand slide off his elbow. It was a clear rejection, and now Harrison was back-pedalling, holding his hands up in protest as he pointed to me in explanation. I chuckled wickedly and sent a little wave in their direction. Finally, Eric’s shoulders loosened and they both laughed before Harrison slapped him on the shoulder and strutted back to me.

  When he got back to me, he downed his drink before taking mine from my hand and downing mine too. He waved to the barman. “Another round, make them doubles this time,” he requested before turning back to me. “Son of a bitch actually believed I was gay! Can you believe that? I thought he’d see through me immediately, but the bastard actually thought I was hitting on him,” he whined, shaking his head.

  I choked on fresh air as I burst out laughing. “He thought you were gay?” I practically screamed through my laughs.

  His hand clapped over my mouth as he looked at me pleadingly. “Just shush!” he hissed. I licked the palm of his hand and he let go, closing his eyes and putting his head down on the bar, groaning. “I want to die.”

  I rubbed the back of his head soothingly but I couldn’t stop laughing which really didn’t seem to help him much. “Aww poor baby. Maybe you should go tell him how many girls you’ve screwed over the years. Will that help your male ego?” I teased, leaning forward and resting my head on his back. I sighed as his smell filled my lungs. He literally smelt good enough to eat. He was so comfortable that I wanted to go to sleep on him.

  He shifted, so I pulled back and leant on the bar heavily. My head swam from the alcohol I’d consumed. “I’ll pay you anything you want if you never mention this to anyone, especially Skye,” he pleaded, giving me the begging look.

  I smiled and patted his cheek. “I don’t even think I’m gonna remember this in the morning, so you’re safe,” I joked, winking at him.

  He laughed and settled back onto his stool, looking at me with pursed lips. “Let’s carry on with the game. Truth or dare?”

  “Truth,” I slurred.

  “Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were getting divorced?” he asked immediately.

  I laughed at that. “I thought you were gay,” I joked.

  “Not even just a little bit funny,” he stated, looking at me warningly.

  I giggled and thought about the truthful answer to that question. “Well, let’s see. First off, why the heck would I? It’s not something that you would be interested in. And secondly, I don’t have your number,” I replied, hiccupping.

  He frowned and sighed. “Dare,” he said after a minute of silence.

  I chewed on my lip trying to think of something that would probably make him feel better after the whole coming out of the closet to his friend thing. “I dare you to kiss a woman in this room. Don’t ask her permission, just walk straight up to her and plant a big fat kiss right on her lips,” I suggested, crossing my arms over my chest and looking around to see who he would choose.

  “Dare accepted.”

  Before I could even comprehend what was about to happen, he’d cupped my face in his hands and the soft lips that I’d been secretly fantasising about for the last eight years covered mine. I squealed from the shock of it, not knowing what to do. He didn’t pull back. It wasn’t just a peck on the lips; this was a full-on passionate kiss. His eyes were closed and everything.

  His smell surrounded me as his lips moved against mine, one of his hands slid down to the side of my neck. His thumb stroked along the edge of my jawline, and the passion that washed over me almost knocked me off the stool I was perched on.

  My eyelids fluttered closed as I kissed him back. My hands made their way to the side of his shirt, pulling him closer to me so that his legs brushed against the side of mine.

  My mind was whirling so fast that it was making me dizzy. I’m kissing him. I’m seriously kissing Harrison Baxter right now!

  When his tongue touched my lip, I almost died and went to heaven right there as a thousand butterflies seemed to take flight in my stomach. I allowed him to deepen the kiss, moaning into his mouth as his taste filled all my senses. I hadn’t felt like this in years, maybe ever. My whole body was practically aching, and I wanted nothing more than to crush myself against him and melt into his skin so I could live there forever. This was pure luxury – sheer unadulterated bliss and I never wanted it to end. Unfortunately, all good things have to come to an end – well, according to Skye they do anyway.

  “What the heck are you two doing?” she hissed from next to me.

  Harrison broke the kiss, but I couldn’t open my eyes. I was lost in the luxury of how beautiful that one kiss was. I had never been kissed like that it my life. It was poetic and made me feel as if I were floating.

  When my eyes finally opened I saw he was smiling down at me. His hands still cupped my face as his chocolate brown orbs locked on mine, shining with excitement and lust. I gulped and tried to focus on what Skye was saying, but I couldn’t make out the words. She was obviously talking to me – or rather, at me, but my brain refused to acknowledge anything but the six foot hunk of perfection who was standing in front of me.

  I licked my lips, my brain not thinking about anything other than sex – fast, hard, nasty sex with him. “Harrison Baxter, the things I want to do to your body would make you blush in the morning,” I purred, smiling at him suggestively.

  Something tugged at my hand so I looked down to see a hand taking my drink off me. Skye raised the glass to her nose and sniffed. “Oh man, whiskey? Really, Bronwyn? Harrison, why did you let her drink that?” Skye whined, shaking her head. “Bronwyn, you should stop drinking now, you know whiskey makes you flirty,” Skye scolded.

  Harrison laughed and took the drink off the bar as Skye put it on there. “I think you should carry on drinking the whiskey. I’d love to continue this conversation,” he stated, winking at me.

  I giggled and gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me roughly which made his eyes light up. “Oh you would?”

  Skye sighed deeply. “Seriously, Bronwyn, this is a terrible idea. Remember we once made a pact to tell each other if we thought that the other was making a mistake that they would regret in the morning? Well this is yours, sweetie. I’m making an intervention,” she said, looping her arm through mine and pulling me to my feet. I swayed slightly and pouted at her. I loved my sister dearly, but I actually hadn’t had sex in what felt like forever, because Finn and I had gone through an extremely rough patch before we finally called it quits and split. If I wasn’t drunk there would be no way I would be making advances to anyone, because I didn’t want people to see my body, but the alcohol was spurring me on. Maybe I could finally relieve some of this sexual tension that I had built up inside.

  “Intervention? That sucks,” I grumbled.

  She nodded before pointing at Harrison accusingly. “Bad, Harrison. No hitting on my sister, you know the rules,” she scolded, slapping his chest playfully. I allowed her to drag me to the bathrooms and I tried to adjust my eyes to the bright lighting, but it was no use, everything was slightly blurry from the alcohol. “Bronwyn, I think we should get you some coffee. Harrison Baxter, really?” she said sarcastically, raising one eyebrow at me.

  I shrugged and flopped onto the plush red velvet sofa that looked oddly out of place in a hotel bathroom. “He’s so irresistible,” I replied as if that was a legitimate excuse. “Besides, he kissed me, not the other way around.”

  She laughed and plopped down next to me. “From what I saw, you were doing your fair share of the kissing too,” she countered.

  I sighed and put my head on her shoulder. Tears were building in my eyes. It was probably just the alcohol or something, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that when Harrison kissed me I just felt beautiful. For someone like Harrison Baxter to
show the slightest bit of interest in me, I felt like a million pounds. But now I was crashing back down to earth with a bump.

  “What’s wrong with me, Skye?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

  She pulled back and stroked the side of my face. “Nothing. You’re a beautiful person, both inside and out. You’re just vulnerable right now what with the divorce and everything. Just give yourself time. A fling with Harrison isn’t the answer to your questions. For him it would just be a one night stand, nothing more. You would wake up tomorrow feeling used and dirty. You two get on so great, don’t ruin that for a quick roll in the sheets, OK?” She looked at me pleadingly.

  I nodded in agreement. Of course, I knew she was right. We did get on great, and if anything had happened it would be awkward next time I saw him at a birthday celebration or something. But in the back of my head, a one night stand just sounded so incredibly appealing. One night of feeling special, one night of being wanted, one night of not feeling second best to some other girl. I wanted that so badly.

  Skye sighed and hugged me tightly. “I’ve got go back out there. They’re gonna do speeches in a minute I think. Why don’t you get a taxi home to mine? You’re wasted.”

  I smiled and nodded. Going home was probably a smart idea right now. I didn’t exactly need any more drink, I didn’t want to turn into an emotional drunk and ruin her night. “Yeah, I think I will go actually. You sure Brandon won’t mind me sloping off early?” I asked, wincing.

  “Of course not.” She shook her head. “If you go to the hotel reception and tell them you’re with Baxter and Hanklin Consultancies, they’ll put your taxi on the company account. Brandon has a few taxis on standby tonight in case his clients take advantage of the free bar.” She took my hands and gave me a tug to get me on my feet.