You Bear With Me: A Shifters in Love Fun & Flirty Romance (Bewitched by the Bear Book 6)

by V. Vaughn

  I push it back, though. But it makes me change my mind about helping the girl. I may not want my soul mate right now, but who am I to control what destiny might have planned for this girl? I inhale sharply when a harsh reality hits me. Why am I trying to deny what destiny planned for me? I shake my head at myself, because while destiny provides the opportunities, we all have the free will to make our own decisions.

  The bouncer smiles at me as I hand him my money, and I go inside. It's still early enough that the dancers haven't started yet, and I hope that means I won't be getting in anyone's way. I walk by the tables and the bar before I continue toward the back hallway Leo carried me down Friday night.

  When I get to the door, I glance around to make sure nobody is going to stop me, and it squeaks open as I push my way through. The hallway is empty, and my footsteps echo off the walls as I walk down it slowly with the hope someone will come out of a room so I can ask them where I can find Leo.

  I'm almost at the end of the hall when a door bursts open and I see Nate coming toward me with his head down, mumbling. When he notices me, he stops in his tracks and frowns for a moment before he smiles with recognition. "Dominatrix girl. Sammy, right?"

  "Yes." I hadn't taken the time to notice Friday night, but I can now see Nate is part of the Veilleux clan, based on his vivid green eyes. "Sorry for coming back here, but I'm looking for Leo."

  "You won't find him here."

  "Oh. He's not working tonight?"

  "He quit the night he met you.” Nate grins at me. “Seems you cast quite a spell over Leo, little witch, because he said he was so taken with you he couldn't imagine letting any other woman touch him."

  I let out a nervous laugh, because I'm not sure if Nate's a fan of witches. I don't want to find out he's not, so I ignore his comment and say, "I really need to talk to him. Do you know where he might be?"

  "I can't give out where any of my men live, but—" He glances around quickly and lowers his voice. "Considering you're soul mates, I don't think Leo'd mind if I told you he also works at the fire station on Highland as an EMT on Sunday nights."

  "Thanks. I'll try that. I really appreciate it." I can't help the joy I feel over Leo no longer strutting around half-naked in front of other women at the club, but it's quickly replaced by even more guilt than I had before. Leo made a financial sacrifice because of the way he feels about me, assuming I'd be completely on board with the soul-mate thing. And why wouldn't he?

  I'm almost at the door to the main part of the club when Nate calls out, "Sammy."

  I turn around to look at him. "Yes?"

  "Love Leo with all of your heart. He's one of the good ones."

  I smile back at him, because it's true. And before I think about what I'm saying, I reply. "I will."

  Dance music mixed with the melodic voices of women talking and laughing surrounds me as I make my way through the main part of the club to leave. I think about how shocked Nina and Elise were that I'm pushing back against my bond with Leo. I'm probably the only idiot who won't accept what destiny has planned. Jeez. Maybe I do take my need for control too far.

  The reality is I know I'm wound pretty tight. But it's always served me well, and sticking to a plan is the way I know how to succeed. But now that destiny has handed me an amazing opportunity, am I being foolish not to take it?

  What would happen if I just let myself trust being with Leo? Fear grips my heart with icy-cold fingers, the way it does when something ruins my plan. But Nina reminded me I always find a way to cope. When I get behind the wheel of my car and the engine roars to life, I wonder if maybe the trepidation I'm feeling isn't because I might fail. What if it's because I have to give up control to let something new and thrilling into my life? I glance down at my fingers to see my knuckles are white from gripping the wheel too tight, as if I'm holding on for an exciting ride. And suddenly the idea of being with Leo doesn't seem so scary after all.

  8

  As I drive to the fire station, calmness settles over me, and I make a new plan. One that includes Leo in my life. I decide there isn't any reason I can't still get my masters and work for a few years before we start a family. And if it takes a little longer than I originally thought, surely the happiness from being with my true mate will be a trade-off that will be worth it.

  I pull into the driveway, mindful of parking off to the side, where I won't block the garage bay doors, and get out of my car. The temperature has dropped drastically over the weekend, and vapor comes out of my mouth as I find the entrance easily to step inside.

  I enter the bay and see an older man wiping the rim of a fire-truck wheel. He catches a glimpse of me and straightens up. "Hey there. Can I help you?"

  "I was hoping to find Leo. Is he working tonight?"

  "Sure is." The man sets his rag down. "Can I ask who's here to see him?"

  "Sammy."

  When he walks away, I take the time waiting to look around. The faint scent of exhaust is in the air, and the fire truck before me is gleaming, no doubt from the meticulous care it must get when not in use. My stomach flips with nerves at the idea of diving into a relationship with Leo headfirst. But then happiness fills me as I recall how nice it was sitting on the rocks together, watching the ocean and talking today. I think about our steamy kiss, and my insides tingle with the memory, making me look forward to taking our physical relationship further.

  The thud of footsteps breaks me from my thoughts, and I look over to see Leo approaching me. "Hey," I say and smile at him.

  Leo doesn't return my smile. "Hi, Sammy. How did you find me?"

  His words are clipped, and I think he's annoyed I'm here, so I forge ahead without small talk. "Nate told me you worked here, and I came to apologize for earlier. I don't want you to believe I was judging you for your job as a dancer, and it was wrong of me to let you think I did. I know the money from dancing is really good, and I get why you do—did it. I'm really okay with it."

  Leo crosses his arms and spreads his feet as if he's preparing for a fight. "How nice of you to suddenly approve. Is this where I'm supposed to thank you for being so open-minded?"

  This is not going well at all, and a hint of a whine seeps into my voice when I decide to lay my cards out on the table. "It's not sudden. The truth is I used your job as a flimsy excuse to hide what was really troubling me." I let out a sigh. "I'm a bit of a control freak." Leo lets out a small grunt as if I'm stating the obvious, and I continue. "And like I said, the timing of this didn't fit into my idea of how my life should go. But I'm over all of that, and I'd like to give a relationship with you a try."

  Leo lifts his chin. "Too bad I don't."

  "You—" My heart stops. While I imagined he'd still be upset with me, I must have put too much faith in the soul-mate connection, because I expected him to be glad I changed my mind. "Oh. So the soul-mate thing doesn't matter to you anymore?"

  He drops his arms. "The soul-mate things sucks, Sammy. I hate that I'm attracted to a pearl-clutcher like you.” He scans me with his gaze, and I think he’s decided I’m not attractive either, because his lip turns up in disgust. “But hey," he gives me a wry smile, "I believe you were the one who said being soul mates doesn't mean we have to be together."

  I reach up to my neck as if I’m really wearing pearls and clutch at the high neck of my long-sleeved shirt. "Someone like me." I know I deserve this but it hurts, and tears burn in my eyes. "Got it." My voice cracks on the last word, and I turn around to leave before I start to cry.

  I manage to hold on until I pull out of the fire station, and then I let the tears fall. But by the time I get home, I've stopped.

  Crying has never gotten me anywhere, but cleaning will, and I decide to get started in the kitchen. I rummage under my kitchen sink for the scouring powder to scrub it. An abrasive sponge scratches at the ceramic tile as I put some muscle into my work. If Leo doesn't want to be with me, then I'll just have to deal with it. Besides, that was my original plan. I'll just focus on my thesis and make sur
e I'm the best teacher the school district has ever seen. And—

  My throat thickens, and my heart aches as if it's been torn in two. I'm not doing a good job of accepting the turn of events, and sadness settles on my shoulders like a heavy blanket. While I could blame the stinging in my eyes on bleach, I don't. Damn it! I toss the canister of bleach powder toward the sink, and it slams against the kitchen window so hard that it makes the glass shatter and the container lands on the ground outside. Birds that were at the feeder fly off in a flurry, and I let a sob escape.

  I surprise myself with how loudly I cry. It's as if a dam broke, because my chest heaves as I slither to the floor and hold my knees. I don't want to live without Leo in my life. I know this is how people feel about their soul mate, but I never imagined it would be so painful.

  It feels as if I cry for hours, because every time I think I might be able to stop, another surge rushes forward. Snot runs from my nose, and my eyes burn when I lift the hem of my shirt to swipe at tears.

  "Sammy?" Nina asks as she walks into the kitchen and finds me on the floor.

  I gaze up at her as a fresh sob comes. Apparently, I've got a lot of pent-up grief, because now painful memories of my childhood begin to replay in my mind as I recall sitting on the floor like this with my mother calling my name. Although she yelled at me for crying and told me to grow up.

  Nina sits down beside me and puts her arms around me to pull me into a hug. She bumps her chin on my forehead before she gets it right. "I'm right here, and you can get your fluids all over me. These are dog clothes."

  I chuckle and pull back to look at her through my tears. Her face wavers before me as I flash to a school play in which I had the lead. I say, "When I was in the fifth grade—“ I sniff and then clear my throat as Nina waits patiently for me to go on. “I was Charlotte, the spider, in a school play."

  "I remember that story," says Nina as she gets up and grabs a tea towel. "Wow, they weren't kidding. Cardinals can be quite dramatic, but you did shatter the window."

  "Who—? Oh, the birds." Nina can talk to animals, and now I realize she's here because the birds that frequent my feeder knew her when she lived here. They were probably worried about me.

  "Yes," she says as water rushes from the faucet for her to wet the cloth.

  She sits down on the floor with me as I continue my story.

  "I—”

  Nina grabs my hand and squeezes my fingers as if to give me courage. Somehow it does.

  “I was frantically searching the audience for my mother, who never showed." I blow out a breath of air. Telling this to Nina is more painful than I thought it would be, but I know I need to get this out. The towel is cool on my tear-stained cheeks as I wipe them, and I take a deep breath before I go on. "I got used to my mom being absent, and truthfully, I preferred it when I got older." I cringe when I remember more and let out a little noise.

  Nina wraps her arm around my shoulders. “Go on. Let me take some more of that awfulness. Okay?”

  Now tears come because of how sweet she’s being, and my voice cracks when I say, "One time—one time I was singing a solo in a high-school concert, and my high-as-a-kite mother stood up before it was over to stick two fingers in her mouth and let out a piercing whistle. She then yelled, 'That's my baby girl!'"

  Nina strokes my hair as if she’s petting me, and her touch is soothing.

  I shake my head as I remember my desperate optimism. I say, "Because I knew she was trying, I forgave her for being asleep that night when I got home. In my heart, I was aware she was strung out, but I didn't want to know. The next day, I thanked her for coming to see me. And—” A hiccup that threatens to become a sob comes out. I manage to whisper, “She didn't even remember it." More tears fill my eyes, but I shove them back as I recall how angry I was and what I did next. "That was the day I decided to cut her out of my life as soon as I could."

  "Oh, Sammy."

  Nina pulls me into a hug again. I think I'm finally cried out, but I let her hold me as I regain my composure.

  Her flannel shirt is soft on my cheek as I say, "Leo doesn't want to be with me."

  Nina squeezes me tighter, and somehow, those tears I didn't think I had come anyway.

  9

  I stare down at the red wine I'm swirling in my glass. I have no interest in drinking it because I think I'm in depression mode now. Once I stopped crying, Nina called Elise to come over, and they both told me I needed to take a sick day tomorrow because we're going to have a girls' night.

  Elise's spoon scrapes against an ice cream pint container.

  Nina asks, "Did you just eat all of that?"

  "What?" asks Elise with a mouthful of ice cream. "I was hungry." She pats her stomach, where two bear cubs are growing inside. "They were hungry." She flexes her fingers toward Nina and me on the couch. "Gimme the chips."

  I smile at her. "I believe they'd be happier with healthy options."

  Elise grabs a handful of chips. "Maybe, but I won't be." She grins back at me as she shoves junk food in her mouth.

  Once she got here, I gave her a recap of my meltdown over my mother, and I just finished telling my friends what happened with Leo.

  "You know," says Elise as she licks her fingers. "He's not going to do any better at staying away from you than you did trying to stay away from him."

  "I don't know," I say. "He was pretty mad."

  "Yeah, but the next time he sees you, he won't be able to stay that way," says Nina.

  I give her a doubtful look. "That could be a long time. Before I met Leo at the club, I'd never run into him. It could be another year."

  "It doesn't have to be," says Elise with a sly smile. "Ever hear of The Bear Paw?"

  I nod. It's the local hangout bar for werebear in the area.

  Nina asks, "But how do we know when Leo's going to be there? It's not like we frequent the place."

  "I just so happen to have an in with the guy who trains the werebear firemen in this town. He's a good friend of Ian's, and I bet we could get info on when they go."

  "So, what then?" I ask. "I'm supposed to show up at the bar and hope he notices me?"

  "Nope." Elise reaches for the bag of cookies before Nina manages to grab it and pull it away. She pouts and then says, “They have karaoke night, and I know one amazing singer who just might need to do a duet."

  "One that requires a volunteer!" cries Nina.

  "Oh boy," I say. "So now we're assuming Leo goes to karaoke night. That's a whole lot of ifs."

  "Maybe," says Elise. "But from one control freak to another, I think you should watch and learn."

  Nina and I laugh, but knowing Elise the way I do, I have a feeling she'll pull this off. And I let her crazy idea fill my heart with hope.

  I yawn and glance at my phone to see it's almost midnight. "Guys, you should probably go. It's late, and even though you think I should take tomorrow off, I can't. The kids will be all out of sorts if I do. You know how I hate to screw up my week."

  Nina puts her hand on my leg. "I can stay tonight if you want."

  I shake my head and give her a hug. Tonight made me realize my girlfriends really are my family, and I can depend on them. And right now, that's more than enough. "Thanks, but you were here when I needed you most. I have a feeling I'm going to be out like a light once my head hits the pillow."

  "Okay, but we're just a phone call away," says Elise, and she groans as she stands up.

  "Stomachache?" I ask teasingly.

  "No, wise guy," she retorts. "Just wait until you're pregnant. Your body rebels in strange ways."

  "Then you definitely should be home in bed." I walk them to the door. As I open it, I say, "I guess the next time I see you both will be karaoke night."

  "It will,” says Elise with conviction as they step outside. "Warm up those pipes, Sammy. You're going to be singing your way into Leo's heart."

  I chuckle at them before I close the door, and then I make my way to the kitchen. I inspect the piece of cardb
oard Nina helped me tape up as a temporary measure until I can get my landlord to come replace it.

  Telling Nina about my past was easier than I would have thought. And when I told Elise about it too, the both of them mentioned they think I might have had trouble accepting Leo as my soul mate because I could be afraid I can't be loved.

  The kitchen light clicks as I switch it off to go upstairs to get ready for bed, and I hug myself as I remember how great it felt when Nina held me. She made me feel loved. The way I have felt with my girlfriends for a while now. I know I want that kind of relationship with Leo too. So maybe the fact that his job brought up painful memories about my mom is what really bothered me about his dancing.

  My toothbrush rattles in the holder when I grab it. What I do know is that all these years of keeping my painful relationship with my mother a secret from my friends was probably a mistake. One of the first things I need to do if—no when—Leo and I get back together is tell him about my childhood too. I spit out a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink and then take a shaky breath, because even though Nina and Elise accepted my past easily, it's still scary to think about sharing it with Leo.

  But first I need to deal with the ghost of my past who is haunting me. I go over to my bureau and open the bottom drawer of my jewelry box. I pull out the worn white envelope addressed to my college post office box. The stamped date is from a time during my sophomore year of college. My hand shakes as I flip the letter over and finally tear it open.

  My dearest Samantha,

  Yes, you are and always will be very dear to me. You were the most precious gift I was ever given, yet I managed to hurt you more than anyone in my life, and for that I will forever be sorry…