Charlie Turns Into a T-Rex
Page 12
2 Here’s an example of ‘morally correct’ lying. Of COURSE Flora isn’t actually scared – she is lying to make Mohsen feel better.
CHAPTER 9
1 Charlie is being sarcastic here. Being sarcastic is when you say one thing but you actually mean the opposite. So Charlie actually means that it’s really not in the least bit marvellous being a goldfish. That is actually a silly opinion because goldfish are, in fact, third on the Official List of Happiest Animals in the World. Second happiest are the tree-climbing goats of Morocco and the happiest animals in the world are actually dung beetles, because rolling balls of poo and then eating them actually makes them happy. The least happy animals in the world are humans. That’s why you should try whenever you can to be as much like other animals as much as possible: swim like a dolphin, run like a cheetah, jump like a kangaroo, roll balls of poo around like a dung beetle. An interesting fact about dung beetles is that they are the only animals apart from humans that are known to navigate using the Milky Way, which is the galaxy we are in.
2 He’s being sarcastic again here.
CHAPTER 11
1 The blue whale is not just the biggest creature in the world, it’s the biggest creature that EVER EXISTED. Bigger than any dinosaur. It’s not the biggest creature in the universe, though. As I’m sure you all know, the biggest creature in the universe is the lesser spotted pan-galactic brainglobe, which eats planets for breakfast and black holes for dinner. Luckily for us the brainglobe lives in the far left-hand corner of the universe, and doesn’t come near our part of the universe.
Yet.
2 Interesting question, Flora. Let’s do the maths! An average Olympic-sized swimming pool needs about three million litres of water (or wee) to be filled. An average child does just over half a litre of wee a day. That means if Flora, Mohsen and Wogan did all their wees in an Olympic-sized swimming pool every single day, it would take about two million days – or to put it another way, nearly 5,500 years – to fill the pool! So that goes to show it was indeed one of the worst plans Mohsen and Wogan had ever concocted.
CHAPTER 12
1 Rather like the leftover skunk pong that still permeated the place.
CHAPTER 1
1 He’d spilled them all over the floor.
2 This was why he was late – jumping into your shoes is actually very difficult and took him twenty-seven attempts.
3 He hadn’t really, he had just run. Ordinarily that wouldn’t need to be pointed out, but because this is a book about a boy who can change into animals, I thought I should probably clarify. Don’t worry, it’s always very clear when Charlie’s turning into an animal. It’s not like he wakes up one morning and – BANG! – he’s a gigantic insect and you’re left wondering how on earth that happened. That would be terrible storytelling.