Syn: Sex Is Syn, Love Is Pain

by J Peach

  “You really should, but I’m broke,” I laughed. “Thanks, Farrah. You know you’re the only reason I’m passing my damn classes,” I told her as we walked out.

  I’d already known Farrah for two years by the time we both enrolled in school, both majoring in Criminal Justice. Thank goodness we had all of our classes together because that helped me out a lot. When I was tired, she’d always have my back by catching me up on everything I’d missed.

  “Thank you so much, boo. I really appreciate you,” I waved to her once I reached my car.

  “Alright, babe. I'll see you later,” she waved back and then walked off to her car.

  With a sigh, I hopped in my hot pink Volkswagen convertible. Starting up the car, I pulled off and headed to my first job.

  ***

  “Lawson & Smith’s. This is Angel speaking, how may I help you?” I answered the phone, trying to put a smile on my face. Being tired was killing me. I had been at work for three hours and was ready to go home. But when I did finally get there I would have to leave right back out.

  “Hey, Angel. I want to setup a consultation with Mr. Smith,” the woman on the other end of the line said.

  I pulled up Mr. Smith’s schedule, took down her name and number, set up her appointment and ended the call. I was so exhausted that the next hour seemed to drag by as I continued the tedious job of answering the phones and setting up appointments. However, once the time read five o'clock, I couldn't have gotten out of there any faster.

  The moment I made it to my car my phone started ringing. I dug it out of my purse and answered it. “Hello?”

  “Hey, boo, what you doing?” Missy asked.

  I put the phone on speaker, started my car and pulled off. “Shit, just getting off. I wanna go home and pass the hell out. What's up, Miss?”

  “Nothing really, I’m on my break and I knew you was just getting off. You wanna stop by and blaze one real quick?” She offered, sounding hopeful.

  “Umm,” I let out a long hum. I would be pushing time messing with her, but I could really use a pick me up. “Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.”

  “Okay, babe, call me when you pull up.”

  “Alright. Aye, do you need me to stop and get you anything before I get there?” I asked her as I pulled into a gas station.

  “You can bring me something to eat. Can you stop by BBQ’s, please?” She begged.

  Why the hell did I ask her ass that? “Yo ass could've said no,” I laughed, knowing she wouldn't have.

  “You should've never asked if you wasn't serious. Shit, I always want something,” Missy laughed into the line.

  “I know that. Call and order your food,” I said as I got out of my car, walked into the gas station and saw Blaze’s friend Smoke already at the counter. He was just the man I wanted to see and I was so glad I didn't have to go to Delaney for him. “Missy, let me call you back.” I didn't wait on her reply as I ended the call.

  Immediately, I walked up to Smoke, stepped in front of him and slid my money to the man behind the counter. “Let me get two grape swisher’s.”

  “Here you go,” the man handed me my swisher's.

  Smoke chuckled behind me. “So you just gon’ slide in front of me like you ain't see me, huh?” He stepped closer to me so that the front of his body was touching the back of mine.

  I looked over my shoulder at him and smiled. “I didn't see you. I was on the phone and really wasn't paying no attention. My fault,” I laughed out a lie.

  “That's for real?” He stared at me like he knew I lied.

  “Yeah, it is.” I looked out the door then back to him.

  He moved off of me, but grabbed my waist. I guess he was trying to maintain some kind of physical contact. “You tryna get into something?”

  Laughing, I pushed his arms off of me. “No, I'm not. You wanna walk me to my car?” I didn't wait on his reply as I started to walk off.

  “Yo little black ass think you smooth. You just knew I was gon’ follow you, huh?” Smoke jogged to catch up to me.

  “No, I didn't know that, but I was hoping you would,” my eyes rolled at his smiling face.

  “You tryna do something?” He asked again as he bit into his lower lip while looking me over.

  My head shook. “No, I'm tryna cop something, though. You got any rollers?”

  “Get in the truck,” he pointed to his ride and walked off. This time I followed him.

  I hopped in the passenger seat as he got in on the driver side. Smoke closed the door and then turned to face me. “What you trying to get?”

  “X or Xanax. I’ll take three of both if you got it.” I reached into my purse and grabbed my wallet. “Do you have them?” I looked back at him. I was ready to get those pills and go meet up with Missy before I had to hit the highway.

  “Yeah, I got it.” Smoke reached into his ashtray and grabbed half of a blunt and lit it. He hit it a couple of times before he handed it to me. “Angel, when you gon’ let me take you out. I don’t know why you keep playing with me.” His hand came to my thigh and he started to rub it.

  I looked at his hands and rolled my eyes. Even so, I didn’t move them. “Because you’re a hood and I don’t date hoods. Y’all keep up too much shit for me. Here,” I handed him one hundred-twenty dollars. I didn’t take what he said seriously. Since I’d known Smoke, he always messed with me, flirting with me or playing like he was trying to get with me.

  “Damn, that’s how you do it?” He laughed, taking the money and handing me the pills. “I’m starting to think yo ass a lesbian for real.”

  I reached over the seat and hit him while I laughed. “Shut up with yo dumbass.” I found it funny that people would think I was a lesbian just because they never saw me date anyone. “No. But seriously, I really can’t even bullshit around with you today. I’m already pressed for time. Maybe when I get back we can link up and smoke or something,” I told him straight up.

  “That’s what’s up. I got some shit to handle anyway, so just call me when you’re ready to do something.”

  I put the pills in my purse and then leaned over the seat and kissed his cheek. “Most definitely. I’ll call you.” Once I exited his car, I filled up my tank, got in my car and left the gas station. I was headed toward the restaurant to get Missy's food.

  ***

  “Since you're off, what you have planned for tomorrow?” Missy took a pull on the blunt and released the smoke from her mouth.

  “Shid, I don’t even know. Then again, I got so much homework that I need to finish. I guess I’m just gonna stay in the house for the next couple of days and finish my homework.” I grabbed the blunt from her and put it to my lips. I inhaled the smoke and held it for a second before exhaling. “Yeah, that's what I'mma do,” I verbally confirmed the plans in my head, “I have so much to catch up on. So know my phone will be on silent for the next few days,” I told Missy while I held out the blunt for her.

  She waved me off. “Bitch, that's nothing new. Every week you crawl into that shell of yours and ignore our asses. You've done it for years, so when you don't answer your phone we know you're working on your school shit. That’s why we don't bother you,” she shrugged as she lay back in the passenger seat and relaxed. She was high as hell.

  A smile came to my face at her calm demeanor. I loved the hell out my girls. They were so understanding and didn't really pry when I stopped answering my phone for a few days. My smile dimmed as that thought ran through my head.

  A part of me felt bad about lying to them and keeping such a big secret from them. I wanted to be open about everything I'd been doing since I was a teenager, but I couldn't. My four girls were the only good thing in my life and I didn't want to tarnish that by telling them who and what I really was. I wouldn't have been able to pretend everything in my life was amazing if they knew the other side of me.

  “Ang, what's wrong, babe?” Missy's fingers snapped in my face, pulling me out of my inner thoughts.

  My head jerked back and I
blinked a few times. “Hm?” I focused on her.

  “You okay? Yo ass just zoned completely out on me. What's going on with you?” She handed me the blunt then sat up straight. “Come on, baby, tell momma what's going on?”

  I let out a laugh as I held up the blunt. “I'm high, that's about it. Oh, and school shit. I really needed this damn pick me up—”

  “A pick you up? Bitch, that shit had yo ass stuck. I was waiting for you to start drooling.” Missy broke out into a fit of laughter. Her palm hit my dashboard as she leaned forward, cracking the hell up.

  Her laughter was contagious and a few chuckles left my mouth as I tried to compose myself. “Bitch, it wasn't even that damn funny with yo stupid ass. I wasn't even stuck,” I rolled my eyes at her before I reached over the seat and pushed her. “Stupid ass. That's why Yandy gon’ fire yo dumb high ass,” she said, referring to her boss and the owner of the salon she worked in. “Get the fuck out my car.”

  Missy looked at me and started to laugh harder. “Damn, bitch, you real mad, huh? You gon’ put me out yo car?”

  I couldn't hold it in anymore and broke out laughing. “You so damn stupid, ugh.”

  “Girl, I'm so damn high. I got two more clients tonight. Ang, I think I might fuck they shit up and not in the good way. Man, I wasn't trying to get this high,” she started laughing again. “I think I need to get fuck'd or something to calm down.” She looked over at me and smiled.

  “Bitch, I don't know why you looking at me. Shid, I ain't fuckin’ yo ass,” I laughed at her. My body shuddered at the thought of fuckin’ with her ass.

  Missy waved me off. "Bitch, if we wasn't sisters and that shit wasn't nasty, you'd fuck me!"

  I rolled my eyes at her. "Hoe, bye! Sisters or not, I don't play with coochie!"

  Missy looked at me with a duh expression. "Yeah, that's because yo black ass ain't had my coochie. You dumb trick!"

  My lips pursed together as I stared at her blankly. This bitch was dumb as hell and high as fuck.

  Missy smiled wide at me before she held two spread fingers to her mouth. Quickly, she began to flick her tongue through her fingers.

  We burst out laughing at the same time.

  "Bitch, get the fuck out my car!" I pushed her against the door.

  She leaned against it, laughing her ass off. Then she looked at me with her low, red eyes. "Ang, I'm high as fuck. How I'm gonna finish these people hair? Bitch, I'm gonna get fired," she started laughing again.

  I stared at my bitch and shook my head. Hell, I didn't know what to tell her ass either. Shid, I was just as high as she was. I couldn't even front on my bitch, I was with her. I wanted some dick bad. That loud had my ass horny as hell. "Missy, call Mya to come fuck you. I'm about to go find me some dick. So get out my car please, man."

  Missy looked at me and we broke out laughing again. “Girl, let me take my ass in there. I know Yandy ass and she'll be out here fussing.”

  I raised my seat, sat up straight and started up my car. Then I looked over to Missy. “Alright, boo. I don't really feel like doing shit for real.” I was high as hell, but I really needed to get my ass on that damn highway and head to Indy. Chilling with Missy really set my ass back and that loud had me fuck'd up.

  “Me either, but you got homework to do and I have clients to tend to. So get going and call me when you come out of your shell.” She reached over the seat and hugged me. “I’ight, bitch, get going. Love you, hoe.”

  Laughing at her, I put the car in drive as she got out. “Love you, too, Miss.”

  She closed the door and I watched as she walked into Plush Attraction Hair Salon. Once she was inside, I pulled off and headed home.

  ***

  When I made it home, I didn't have much time to do anything other than grab my duffle and leave right back out. I had just slung my book bag over my shoulder when someone started beating on my front door. I left my bedroom, walked into the living room, grabbed my key off the table and picked up my duffle bag as the banging on the door continued.

  “Angel, open the damn door! I know you here! I see yo damn car!” Kelley, my momma, yelled from outside.

  Immediately I let out a groan at the sound of her fuckin’ voice. She was the last person in the world I wanted to see. I threw open my door and just like I expected, she tried to walk in. Quickly, I pushed her right back out.

  “What the hell you think you're doing? You know damn well yo thieving ass ain't coming into my house.” She had done lost her mind trying to walk into my shit. I turned away from her and closed and locked my door.

  “Baby, I need yo help. I owe people some money and they said they'll kill me by the end of the day if I don't have it.” Kelley scratched her arm then wiped at her nose.

  Looking at her, my face scrunched up when I took in her filthy attire. She looked bad and was disgusting to me. I was so focused on her appearance that it took a minute before what she said finally dawned on me. All I could do was laugh.

  “Well, that's not my problem and yo ass ain't my business. If they kill you, that's yo fault,” I laughed harder as I put my stuff in the back seat. I was truly unconcerned about her and whatever might have been going on with her. “I don't know why the fuck you would come to me asking for shit. Honestly, I would rather see yo ass dead.” I knew my words were cruel as I pushed her back and opened the driver side door.

  “Just let me hold thirty dollars and I'll be straight. Just, just give me that,” she was so fidgety.

  I knew her ass was tweaking to get high. “I gotda go—”

  Kelley grabbed my arm. “Wait, let me hold ten dollars. Come on, baby girl, after everything I done did for you, yo black ass can't let yo momma get ten dollars? You ungrateful bitch, yo ass gon’ give me my money,” she mumbled to herself as she tried to reach past me to get to my bags.

  I yanked Kelley hard by her short, nappy ponytail. Then I pushed her to the ground. “Bitch, you done lost yo fuckin’ mind. You better get yo crackhead ass from around here.” I wanted to stomp her stupid ass into the ground, but I was already late on time. I had a two hour drive ahead of me and I needed to be in Indy an hour ago.

  “Angel, please just give me ten dollars. I'll pay you back. Baby, I'm sick, I really need that money,” she pleaded with me.

  My eyes rolled into my head as I got into my car. I started it up as Kelley stood next to my window begging me to give her ass some money. I turned Kevin Gates’ Go Hard on full blast and threw my car into drive. Quickly, I sped off on her as I headed to job number two. Kelley was already forgotten.

  Chapter 3

  Two Days Later

  Syn

  Seems Like You’re Ready, by R. Kelly blared loudly from the club’s speakers. This night was no different from any other as I lost myself in the music. My eyes slanted and my teeth gripped my bottom lip as I let my body wind and grind seductively to the sexual lyrics.

  Sexily, I walked to the end of the stage. My hands came to my knees as my hips slowly gyrated to the beat. I stopped in a squat position and my legs came enticingly apart. My right hip moved up as the left one went down and vice versa, giving my movements a slight bounce. My legs closed as my body twisted to the side. Slowly, I came up and walked seductively to the pole. Taking hold of the metal rod firmly attached to the stage, I twirled around it.

  I faced the crowd of men and women who surrounded the stage as I pressed my back against the steel pole, letting my hips roll as I went down. Getting on my knees, I crawled to the right side of the platform, my hand on the floor, my left leg bent. My hips pushed out, grinding, giving the audience the perfect view of my covered sex.

  Money was thrown on stage, but a few men went for the more personal move. They reached for the red band on my thigh, slipping their money in it while some tucked it in the front or side of the red thong I wore. I gave a seductive smile then rolled onto my stomach, sensually pushing myself up. I then moved to the left side of the stage, giving the same dance and getting the same reaction.

  Tea
singly, I eased up off of the floor and went back to the pole. I gripped it tight, then using the strength of my legs, I climbed to the top. With a tight grip, I paused long enough to swing around the pole before continuing my sexy journey toward the top. With one hand above my head, the other underneath my butt, my legs spread as I swirled around until I came to the bottom.

  Holding tight, I climbed up before thrusting my lower body forward and wrapping my legs tightly to the pole. My foot hooked, keeping me upside down like I’d done hundreds of times before. I slid down the pole slowly, one hand going to the strings behind my head and pulling them undone. Coming close to the bottom, my feet gripped tighter as did my legs, stopping my movement.

  I held the pole below my head and untangled my legs, spreading them. I thrust my hips forward, coming down into a split. The crowd always liked that and they let me know with cheers and wolf whistles as I bounced into my split. Lying down flat on my back, I flipped backwards, my ass rolled and grinded against the floor of the stage.

  I sat up, never stopping the movement of my hips. I grabbed my red and black bikini top and then threw it out into the crowd before I started massaging my breast, pinching and pulling at my nipples until they were erect.

  Rolling over onto my back, my hand slid into the front of my thong just as the song came to an end. Finally, giving each side a teasing smile, I removed my hand from my thong. I could tell a few of the gentlemen and ladies didn’t like that, but playing with my pussy for the crowd wasn’t a requirement. Besides, making them think I was going to and seeing the disappointed looks when I didn’t always brought a smile to my face.

  After getting my money, I walked off the stage. Leaving the whistling and howling fools behind me, I headed straight to my dressing room.

  “Damn, Syn! Baby, you was hot as fuck. I thought for sho you were gonna give a little extra out there towards the end, had a bitch sweating,” Mocha, another dancer, said while fanning herself.