Her Secret Life

by Tiffany L. Warren

  Charmayne chuckled. “I know a savior, that’s all.”

  Onika got up from her barstool and took a loaf of bread from the pantry. “I’m making peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, if that’s okay.”

  “That’s fine. I think these waffles can’t be salvaged,” Charmayne said.

  “You calling or what?” Ty asked. “Do you think we’ve forgotten since you sneakily changed the subject?”

  “Charmayne is sneaking with her lectures, and I’m sneaking and keeping my business to myself. Quid pro quo.”

  “Well, I don’t care if you call the man or not,” Charmayne said, her tone snippy. “I was just making conversation. You need to care about getting a job and being able to sustain yourself, not about having a social life. You can keep that other business to yourself. I don’t care about it.”

  Onika became quiet. Charmayne had been so kind since Onika had shown up on her doorstep that she almost did think of the woman as some kind of a saint. She had gotten out of pocket with Charmayne on more than one occasion, and the last thing Onika wanted to do was get on her nerves to the point where she ended up back on the street. Her stomach flipped at the thought of sleeping on the Metro again.

  “Charmayne, I was just being a sarcastic jerk,” Onika finally said. “You can give me whatever lecture you want. Just please let me stay for a little while longer. I-I don’t want to be back out there again.”

  Onika hated her voice cracking and her eyes filling up with tears. She despised feeling so utterly helpless. Her well-being literally depended on Charmayne’s goodwill and mercy, but Onika had been taking it for granted and, crazy enough, almost feeling like she was entitled to kindness. Like, if there was a God, then He owed Onika a miracle after dealing her the worst hand ever.

  Charmayne’s anger, no matter how mild or how small the infraction, reminded Onika of her vulnerability. If Charmayne woke up one day and decided that running a house for misguided women wasn’t her calling in life, then Onika would be out of luck and out of time.

  Charmayne stepped from around the kitchen counter and pulled Onika into a hug. “You don’t have to worry about leaving here until you’re ready.”

  “I’ll interview for that tutoring job,” Onika said. “And let me know how much I have to contribute to the household.”

  “I don’t want you to contribute anything. You should save all of your earnings.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  Onika broke the embrace with Charmayne and started to walk out of the kitchen. She wanted to be alone to lick her wounds. Then she realized what had been troubling her and turned around to face Charmayne.

  “Out of all the homeless women in DC, why do I get your help? Why me? It’s been bothering me since the first day. That one full night when I was out there, and the day before, I saw so many women who looked like they’d been homeless for years. And then, after one night, I end up in someone’s home with job opportunities.”

  “Do you want to trade places with one of them?” Charmayne asked.

  “No, of course not.”

  “Then I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

  “My boyfriend broke up with me because I had a secret abortion and he found out about it. Terrible, right? That I could choose to end the life of a child he wanted.”

  Ty made a “humph” sound. “Is that the real reason, or is that what he told you?”

  “It’s what he told me, but I always knew he had other women. That was part of our relationship.”

  Charmayne shook her head. “I have no idea why you ended up here. I already told you that I’m not even sure how you got the information, because I don’t know the woman or anything about that flyer. What I do know is that now that you’re here, you’re welcome.”

  “I just want to . . . I don’t know . . . pay a bill or something.”

  “This is a gift,” Charmayne said. “All you have to do is accept it, and be thankful.”

  “I am.”

  “Do you think Graham might be a gift, too?” Charmayne asked. “Maybe you don’t think about why or how you met up twice. Your being here is a coincidence as far as I’m concerned.”

  “He sure looks like a gift,” Ty said. “No. He looks like he’s gifted. You should find out.”

  The mood in the room lightened considerably once the fear of returning to homelessness was lifted.

  “It’s not my birthday, but I’m open to gifts any day of the week,” Onika said. “I’m gonna call him.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Onika called.

  She agreed that with so much wrong happening to her, Graham could be something right. But as the phone started its fifth ring, she became doubtful. Maybe he wouldn’t answer.

  He picked up right as she was about to disconnect.

  “H-hello?”

  Onika heard scuffling and struggling in the background.

  “What’s all that noise?” She asked.

  “Onika? You called.”

  “I did. Good morning. Did you think I wouldn’t?”

  “I was sure you wouldn’t, but I am so glad I was wrong. What are you up to today?”

  Onika’s first thought was to share her problems with him. To tell him about her job situation. She restrained herself, though. She wanted him to bring his weightlessness to her day.

  “I’m just sitting around, looking at my feet, wondering if I was gonna get that pedicure anytime soon.”

  He laughed. “We can go later today, if you want. I am teaching a swimming class at the recreation center. You want to meet me here and we can ride over?”

  “You stopped your swim class to answer the phone?”

  “Of course. You’re the only one who would be calling me. I am glad you put some minutes on your phone.”

  “Oh, I still haven’t gotten around to that. I am calling from the house phone.”

  “You have a house phone? You could’ve given me that number.”

  Onika heard the skepticism in his voice. He still thought she was playing him, and she understood why. He had no reason to think she wasn’t.

  “I didn’t know the house phone number.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  That was true, but Onika imagined how it sounded to him. Of course, it sounded like a lie, but she couldn’t tell him that she hadn’t known the number that day on the Metro platform because she hadn’t moved into Charmayne’s house yet.

  “When is your class over?” She asked.

  “In an hour. Then I have to shower and get dressed, so an hour and a half.”

  “What’s the address?”

  Graham told her, and Onika jotted the address down, then smiled. She would change his mind about her. It surprised her that she cared so much about what he thought. It was too soon to care.

  Graham was just a regular guy, but he had made her laugh. She felt like she was on an even footing with him, and not that he was in a position of power. That had been the difference when she’d met Aaron. He was a prize and not a gift.

  Onika dressed carefully for her outing with Graham. Not that she had a huge wardrobe to choose from, but she settled on the nicest of her sweats. She couldn’t very well put on business attire. For a moment, Onika thought about her lost luggage and the cute outfits she’d painstakingly put together. She didn’t let herself dwell on that too long, though. It was depressing. She focused on what she did have—a date with a nice guy—and finished getting ready to leave.

  Instead of a cab, she forced herself to take the Metro over to the southeast side of town. She had to save every additional penny, so cabs, Uber rides, and pedicures wouldn’t be in her budget until she had a job and somewhere to live.

  Graham was waiting for Onika outside the recreation center when she arrived. She took in the dressed-down version of him in a crisp white T-shirt and basketball shorts, and decided that she liked it. He was unquestionably handsome and seemed to glisten with a fresh coat of whatever he’d used to moisturize after he’d taken a shower.

/>   “You’re shining in the sun, like an onyx-colored warrior,” Onika said as she approached Graham.

  He cracked up laughing, and so did she. That was the corniest greeting she’d ever given anyone.

  “And you’re looking like a caramel-coated, melanin-infused, confection sprinkled with black girl magic.”

  Onika snapped her fingers in the air, appreciating his poetic ramblings more than her corniness.

  Then, unexpectedly, Graham hugged Onika. He said his hello with an embrace, and she closed her eyes and received it. It was ninety degrees outside, but the warmth of his touch added about five degrees.

  “Let’s get food first, then pedicures. You like sushi?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know a great place. It’s walking distance from here.”

  Graham hummed as he walked, which made Onika smile. Was he happy because she called?

  “You’re jolly,” Onika said.

  “Oh, well one of my students finally got her dive correct. She can join the team now.”

  “That sounds like a big deal.” Actually, it didn’t sound like too big a deal to Onika, but she went along with it anyway.

  “It is. She’s a great swimmer. Excellent form and a powerful stroke, but for some reason she couldn’t make herself go headfirst into the water. She could jump, but not dive.”

  “And you have to dive to be on the team?”

  “Yeah. She’d never win a freestyle race without diving. Wouldn’t make it off the starting block.”

  “How’d she get over her hang-up?”

  “Practice, and lots of it.”

  “That’s cool. You know, I thought you were jolly because I called.”

  “I am pretty darn jolly about that, too. I was surprised at first, and then I was happy you felt the connection as I did.”

  They crossed the street, giving Onika a chance to think of a response. She didn’t know if she felt a connection. It was something, but as far as Onika could tell, they didn’t have anything in common.

  “Are you in a fraternity?” Onika asked when they got to the other side. Graham seemed like a black Greek. He had the appropriate amount of good looks and swagger.

  “No. They didn’t have fraternities or sororities at my school. Plus, I only have an associate’s degree.”

  This was a minus. If he only had a two-year degree, he couldn’t be making very much money. Onika felt bad about thinking this way, but with her money situation being so tight, she didn’t know if she needed a man who was strapped as well. Someone had to be doing well.

  She had to admit that the only sign she’d seen of Graham being frugal was when he chose the Uber ride over the cab. Outside of that, he’d seemed generous with her meal and drinks, but he definitely wasn’t rich. Onika had been around enough rich men to know.

  “Fortunately, I got into federal service. At the time, my skills were more in demand than the piece of paper.”

  “That’s good.”

  “What about you?” Graham asked. “Are you in a sorority?”

  For her response, Onika did a portion of her stroll and did her sorority call. Graham seemed amused and entertained.

  “Epsilon Phi Beta,” Onika said. “I pledged my sophomore year.”

  “Sometimes I wish I had done the whole black college thing. Everyone I know who did it seems to have fond memories.”

  Onika did have fond memories of her time at Robinson, but almost every one of those memories included Aaron. She wondered if there’d come a time when she’d want to forget.

  Graham looked at two women walking down the street toward them and frowned. He turned on one heel.

  “Let’s go for burgers instead.”

  “Okay.”

  As soon as they started in the other direction, one of the women started yelling.

  “Graham!”

  He cringed. Closed his eyes and balled his fists.

  “Just act like you don’t hear her,” he said.

  “But . . .”

  “Come on! She is crazy. My coworker, Leslie.”

  Onika followed but laughed every time the woman called out, because her voice was getting louder and closer.

  “Should we run?” Onika asked, even though she was laughing too hard to have enough wind for any real speed.

  “No. Then she’ll know we hear her.”

  “Of course we do. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs.”

  Graham stopped walking and slowly turned like he was facing a firing squad. Onika did the same, trying to compose herself the best she could.

  “I know you heard me calling you,” Leslie said.

  “I heard someone yelling. I didn’t think someone would be screaming my name on the streets of DC.”

  “Mmm-hmm . . .” She turned her attention to Onika. “Who is this? Your girlfriend?”

  “Hi, I’m Onika, and you are . . .”

  “My name is Leslie. I thought I was Graham’s friend. But we don’t run from our friends when they’re trying to say hello.”

  “I wasn’t running from you.”

  “Anyway, I’ll let you and your girlfriend enjoy the rest of your day.”

  She turned and walked back up the street in the direction she had come from. It was a little silly, in Onika’s opinion. Leslie’s exit was so undramatic, with her having to walk away and all.

  “That would’ve been so much more effective if she had had a car,” Onika said.

  Graham stared at Onika, his face frozen and his mouth slightly ajar. After a few seconds in this pose, Graham started laughing. He laughed so hard that he had to hold himself up on the side of the building they were standing next to.

  “Shhh!” Onika said. “She’s gonna hear you and think you’re laughing at her.”

  “I can’t help it. That was hilarious. Especially the way she was trying to stomp away.”

  He started laughing again. This time he slid his body down the building until he was sitting on the ground cracking up.

  “I’m walking away. I don’t want her to turn around and see both of us laughing.”

  “She’s long gone,” Graham said.

  “You better hope she doesn’t try to get back at you at work what with all that noise you’re making.”

  “She won’t. I don’t think she will.”

  Onika started walking, and Graham jumped up to follow her.

  “So what’s the story on her?” Onika asked. “She’s obviously butt hurt to see you out with a woman. What went down with you two? Did you sleep with her?”

  “Not at all. She just decided that we should be together because she likes me. I’m not interested.”

  “Why? Because of me?” Onika didn’t want Leslie coming after her. Not that she was afraid. She just didn’t want anyone else’s drama following her around.

  “Not because of you. She’s not really my type.”

  “Are we walking toward a restaurant?” Onika asked. “I’m just walking. I have no idea where I’m going.”

  “We can go this way.”

  “Okay, so why wasn’t she your type?”

  “You ever go out with someone who, on paper, seems like they should be everything you want, but they’re just not? I really think falling for someone is a series of chemical reactions to pheromones. If someone doesn’t smell right to a person, then on a primitive level, they’re not interested.”

  “So you’re saying she doesn’t smell right to you?” Onika chuckled, because she couldn’t relate, seeing that she’d only dated two guys and she’d been attracted to both.

  “She smells fine. It’s just that there’s nothing that attracts me to her. She’s not a bad-looking woman, and she’s educated and she’s saved. I’m just not interested in her.”

  “Is there anything she could do to change your mind?”

  Graham shook his head and laughed. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

  “No. I guess I’m just trying to understand men. I feel like I don’t.”

  “I don’t think
I understand myself.”

  CHAPTER FORTY

  They had two dates down, and Graham wanted another. Onika knew she wouldn’t be able to hold him off forever. He’d want to see where she lived, and he would ask to take her home. Then it would all be over.

  Onika was so concerned about it that she didn’t even want to get out of bed. It was almost eleven, and she’d only crawled out of the bed to go to the bathroom, and then had tucked herself back into the blankets.

  “You like him, don’t you?” Ty asked. She hadn’t yet gotten out of her bed either.

  “Why does she have to have that big sign outside that says Safe Harbor? If she didn’t have that, no one would think this was anything other than a house.”

  “I think she has that sign up there so that people can find her. The building is a little bit hard to see.”

  “Oh, I know her purpose and everything, but that’s not helping me right now.”

  “Did he ask you to go somewhere today?”

  “He did, but I pretended to have plans, because I didn’t want him to ask about bringing me home.”

  “Did y’all do it yet?”

  Onika gave Ty a dirty look. She sounded like a middle-school-aged child. Onika hoped she was joking with the way she phrased that question.

  “Did we have sex? I don’t talk about that type of thing with my girlfriends. I never have.”

  “That means y’all did. After two dates, you must be really feeling him.”

  Onika made no reaction to deny Ty’s assumption. She really didn’t care what Ty thought, so it wasn’t necessary. If Charmayne asked, she might tell her the truth, but Charmayne wouldn’t ask.

  There was a knock on their bedroom door. Ty jumped up to answer it. Onika always marveled every time she saw Ty in the tiny shorts she wore as pajamas. There were so many tattoos on her thighs that you could barely tell the color of her skin.

  “I’m on my way to church,” Charmayne said. “Anyone want to come with me?”

  “Maybe next week I’ll meet you there,” Ty said.

  “What do you mean you’ll meet her there?” Onika asked. “Why not just go with her?”

  Charmayne smiled. “She hasn’t shared her news with you yet.”