The Change

by K. A. Applegate

  I ran to Rachel and helped knock her last Hork-Bajir foe to the ground.

  «Ready to go?»

  «Been ready,» Rachel said.

  Although my one leg was almost useless, I could still use my tail for balance and hobble at a pretty good speed. Rachel soon pulled out ahead of me. But that was okay. That was the plan.

  «Jake?» I said. «That was one sweet save back there. Would it be wrong for me to say I love you, man?»

  «Hah-HAH! That was fun! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that was a rush!» Jake exulted.

  Rachel and I ran toward the lip of the ravine. And now I could actually feel the heat of the fire approaching. The wind shifted and I gagged on thick black smoke. I lost sight of Rachel.

  When the smoke cleared, I was face-to-face with a Taxxon. «You're lucky I'm in a hurry, or

  146 you'd be worm hash,» I said, and brushed past the huge centipede.

  «Rachel! Ten feet to your left,» Jake instructed. «Yeah! Yeah! Right there between the two saplings!»

  I looked forward just in time to see Rachel leap out into the air. Out into the emptiness she went . . . and then disappeared. She fell from sight.

  My hearts stopped beating. Both of them. I felt my throat clutch tight.

  It was a hundred feet to the bottom of that ravine. Not even a Hork-Bajir could survive that kind of fall.

  Now it was my turn. I ran for the ravine lip.

  «0h, man!» Jake cried. «0n your left! In front of you! I didn't see them all in the smoke! Tobias, it's him!»

  A thick wall of smoke swirled around me, then blew away. It was like some horrible magic trick. One minute, there was the ravine. The next second, there stood three Hork-Bajir. And one Andalite.

  One Andalite who was no Andalite at all.

  Visser Three stood on the very lip of the ravine. Right in my path.

  Hork-Bajir are fast. But the tail of an Andalite is faster. I couldn't win a fight against Visser Three and three Hork-Bajir. No way.

  147 But then it suddenly occurred to me ...

  I grinned. At least as much as a Hork-Bajir can grin. I looked Visser Three right in his main eyes.

  "Ket Halpak free!" I yelled, using my Hork-Bajir voice.

  And I charged straight at him, running flat-out, ignoring the searing pain from my injured leg.

  Visser Three watched me calmly for a couple of seconds. Then it occurred to him, too. Just like it had to me. See, he might get me with his tail, and even kill me before I could get to the ravine, but my momentum would certainly carry me forward.

  And I would knock Visser Three off the edge, too.

  At the last second, Visser Three dodged nimbly out of my way.

  "Ket Halpak and Jara Hamee freeeeeeee!" I shouted defiantly as I jumped off the edge of the ravine.

  I fell.

  The floor of the ravine was a long, long, long way down.

  I saw a brutish, massive arm shoot out. A fist the size of a Virginia baked ham grabbed my leg,

  I stopped falling. I slammed into the ravine wall. And the massive arm yanked me back up-

  148 ward. Right up into the shallow cave in the ravine wall.

  No Earth animal could possibly have caught a falling, seven-foot-tall Hork-Bajir in midair. No animal except a gorilla.

  «Nice catch,» I said to Marco.

  He hauled me up into the cave and bodily shoved me back to where Rachel was waiting quietly.

  We huddled there. Waiting. Silent. We were just a few feet down below the lip of the ravine.

  Because of the overhang, I could look down and see the floor of the ravine. Down there, on the sand, lay the crumpled forms of two very dead-looking Hork-Bajir. A pair of hungry wolves were already tearing at their "dead" flesh.

  Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak lay still as Cassie and Jake, who had to fly down to the ravine and morph from falcon to human to wolf, pretended to begin devouring them. Fortunately, Hork-Bajir can stand a lot of pain. And they heal quickly. Because I'll tell you what - if I didn't know the truth, even I would have thought that two dead Hork-Bajir were about to become wolf chow.

  I held my breath. Would the Yeerks be fooled? Would Visser Three believe that Rachel and I had fallen to our deaths?

  I heard cruel laughter in my head. «Fools,» Visser Three sneered. «No one escapes the Yeerk

  149 empire. Certainly not a pair of idiot Hork-Bajir. Look at them down there, all of you! That's what awaits anyone who tries to escape the Yeerks!» He laughed a terrible laugh. «The wolves will give them both the burial they deserve.»

  149

  150 We waited till Visser Three and the rest of the Yeerks - human, Hork-Bajir, and Taxxons - left.

  Then we crawled back up onto the lip of the ravine. We morphed back, and once we were all together again, we headed off across the land the Yeerks had burned. We knew we had to be quick. The Forest Service firefighters would be showing up soon. Even though the fire had mostly just burned itself out.

  We found the valley. The lovely little valley the Ellimist had shown me. I knew what to look for. Otherwise I'd never have noticed it.

  151 I was a good puppet for the Ellimist. I had done my job well. Not that I regretted that part of it. I could never be sorry for helping anyone escape Yeerk slavery.

  But I was once more a red-tailed hawk. And so I would remain.

  The entrance to the valley was so narrow the Hork-Bajir could barely fit between the rock walls. It was like some amazing bandit hideout from an old Western movie.

  Jake said, "You know, I wonder if this valley even existed before."

  «You think maybe the Ellimist created it?» I asked.

  Jake shrugged. "Could be. It's awfully convenient."

  I let it drop. I didn't really want to discuss the Ellimist. He'd lied to me. He hadn't given me back my humanity. This was a good moment for the Hork-Bajir. I wasn't going to spoil it by being selfish.

  While the others squeezed through the narrow gap in the rocks, I caught a beautiful warm up-draft and went up and over.

  Even from the air you might not notice the valley unless you were really looking for it. From high up it just looks like a particularly dense ribbon of trees. Not until I dropped down through

  152 the branches did I see the shallow lake surrounded by sandy shores. Trees of every type and description were there. Berry bushes ringed a small, sunny meadow. The meadow I'd seen in my mind.

  To tell you the truth, that little meadow would have been heaven for a red-tailed hawk. A sweet territory for a bird of prey.

  I flew back to meet the others as they came into the valley. They were all standing around gaping.

  "It's beautiful," Cassie breathed.

  "Are we there?" Jara Hamee asked me.

  «Yes. This is the place.»

  "Good place," Ket Halpak said. "Good place for kawatnoj."

  "What?" Jake asked, puzzled.

  «l heard them use that word before. Jara Hamee, what does kawatnoj mean?»

  Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak laughed their strange Hork-Bajir laugh.

  "Kawatnoj small Hork-Bajir. Small Jara Hamee, small Ket Halpak."

  "Children," Rachel translated. "They're going to have little baby Hork-Bajir."

  «They will be the first Hork-Bajir born into freedom in a very long time,» Ax said. «The El-limist did not lie. The valley exists.»

  153 «No. He didn't lie,» I said. «Not about this, any way. »

  "Well. Let's just take our clothes off," Marco said briskly. "You know the rules - in the Garden of Eden you don't wear clothes. Rachel, you can start."

  "Garden of Eden?" Jara Hamee echoed. "That is this place?"

  "Not unless you want to change your name to Adam," Marco said. "I was just joking, big guy. But look, I have to know. How do you tell a male Hork-Bajir from a female?"

  Jara Hamee looked puzzled. "Male? Female? What meaning?"

  "Go ahead, Marco, explain," Cassie teased.

  But Ket Halpak understood. "Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak differe
nt. Jara Hamee have three here." She pointed at her horn blades. "Ket have two."

  "That's the only difference?" Marco asked.

  "Other difference, too," Ket Halpak said primly. "But only for Hork-Bajir to know."

  That got a laugh, even from Ax, which just puzzled the Hork-Bajir even more.

  Everyone stayed for a little while, then they all left. Ail but the two Hork-Bajir and me. I stayed to help the Hork-Bajir survey their new home. I found caves where they could spend cold

  155 I

  nights, and explained to them that they could never leave the valley. Not until Earth was rid of the Yeerks.

  Then I flew home. Home to my own meadow. My own territory.

  The Hork-Bajir had their Eden. The others all had their homes. I had my meadow.

  154

  me next day was Sunday. Not that it mattered to me.

  Rachel came to my meadow to see me. But I avoided her. I flew away and left her yelling, "Tobias! Tobias, where are you?" into the woods.

  I'm sorry, but I knew why she was there. She'd come to tell me it would all be okay. She'd come to make sure I didn't feel too bad. And knowing Rachel, she'd help me curse and blame the Ellimist.

  But I didn't want pity. Not even Rachel's pity. I was dealing with things. But I was barely dealing. And I felt like if someone was nice to me I'd totally fall apart.

  156 I'm a predator. A raptor. A hawk. I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me.

  Throughout the day I went about my routine. I went back to mapping out the entrances to the Yeerk pool. I watched the known Controllers come and go.

  And I was fine. Until the sun set and night fell. I went to my favorite perch in the old oak tree. And I watched the foxes and raccoons and owls and other night creatures do their work.

  Ax came by looking for me. I didn't want to talk to him, either, but he knew I was there.

  «Hey, Ax-man,» I said.

  «Hello, Tobias. How are you?»

  «Same as ever. And I really don't want to talk about it,» I said bluntly. I guess Ax took the hint. He stayed for just a few more seconds, then made an excuse to take off.

  I knew I was just feeling sorry for myself. But too bad. I had reason to feel sorry for myself.

  So this is gonna be it, I told myself bitterly. This is your life. No home. No bed. No school. Nothing human.

  I formed a picture in my mind of human life. I saw warm golden light and a TV and couches and beds and tables. Food that came in boxes and cans. Books and magazines. Games. Stuff.

  And I saw my parents. At least, the way I remembered my parents - from photographs. I'd

  157 been too young when they'd left to really be able to remember them. But I used to have pictures of them.

  That was the life I would never have again. Human life.

  But you know, even as I was wallowing in self-pity, I knew I was being dishonest. Maybe that warm, fuzzy, golden life was how some people lived. But it wasn't how I had lived. Not really.

  Okay, I thought. Okay, so maybe my life as a human sucked, too. That doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life as a bird.

  And yet I had another memory, more recent. I saw myself the way I had appeared when the El-limist had taken me into the turquoise mist. I saw myself half-bird, half-human.

  No! I said to myself. I shook off the image. Just an Ellimist trick.

  I tried to stop thinking. I needed sleep. That's all. I just needed a good night's sleep. I'd be fine in the morning.

  I closed my eyes and tried to turn off the busy human mind that lived alongside the hawk's simpler intelligence.

  I closed my eyes . . . and when I opened them again, I was not in my tree.

  I was in a room. In a house.

  It was night, but I could see blue numbers glowing from an alarm clock. And I could see

  158 someone lying in a narrow, disheveled bed. There was a sleeping, tousled dirty-blond head lying on the pillow.

  A cold chill swept through me.

  I knew this room. This bed. I knew the person lying there, tossing and turning with sad dreams.

  I fluttered to the nightstand. The noise of my wings woke the sleeper.

  He blinked the sleep from his eyes and stared at me. "A bird?" he said.

  «lt's just a dream,» I told him. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode. But at the same time I felt a weird calm. Like I knew what was going to happen. Like it had all happened already.

  Then I saw the calendar. It was a Star Trek calendar. I guess that's funny. The date was the day before I had walked through the construction site with Jake and Marco and Cassie and Rachel.

  "A dream?" The sleeper sat up in his bed. He peered at me and I saw a troubled expression in his eyes. "I know you, don't I?"

  «Kind of,» I said. «And I know you. ... Tobias^

  "How do you know my name?"

  «l can't tell you that. But listen, Tobias, I . . .» What could I say? What could I possibly say to my old self? I couldn't tell him everything

  159 would be all right. I didn't know that. I couldn't tell him what was about to happen to him. No sane person would believe it.

  Besides, I had forgotten this dream. Hadn't I?

  «Tobias,» I said. «Walk home with Jake. Walk through the construction site.»

  "What?"

  I just laughed a little sadly. Why had I told him to do that? Why had I sent him to the construction site? It was there that everything had begun. It was there that I had started down the path that led to my being trapped as a hawk.

  I knew the truth now. I could see it clearly. I was looking at myself. Back when I was human. And looking at myself, I couldn't escape the truth - that wasn't me anymore.

  I wasn't Tobias the human. I had become something else. Something new. What had the Ellimist said? ". . . you are a beginning. You are a point on which an entire time line may turn."

  «Tobias?» I said to the human. «You should go back to sleep.»

  "I am asleep, aren't I? This has to be a dream. And if it isn't a dream, I'll never get back to sleep!"

  «l can help you sleep,» I said. «Hold out your arm. Don't be afraid.»

  The human Tobias held out his arm. I flapped

  161 my wings and landed on him. I was as gentle as I could be with my talons. I didn't need to dig them in. Simple contact was enough.

  Tobias's eyes began to flutter. He became dazed and passive. The way all animals do when they are acquired.

  I closed my eyes and focused on him. On the human DNA that was being absorbed into my hawk's body.

  When I opened my eyes again, I was back in my tree.

  Had it been real? Or was it all just some silly dream?

  don't forget, a huge voice said. two hours, tobias.

  I didn't ask what the Ellimist meant. I knew. I had acquired my own human DNA. But it was just a morph. If I stayed in my old human body I would be trapped there forever. Never again to morph. Never again to be a hawk. Never again to fly.

  HAVE I KEPT MY PROMISE?

  «Yes,» I said.

  AND ARE YOU HAPPY, TOBIAS?

  160

  me next day was Monday. The day when Rachel was to receive the Packard Foundation Outstanding Student award.

  There were four other kids being honored, too. They held the presentation in the school gym. Parents were there, all proud of their sons and daughters. Kids were there, having a good time, basically because the assembly got them out of last period.

  I missed the early part of the ceremony. I had to be careful, you see. I had to time everything just right. There is a two-hour limit, as I know better than anyone. In that time I had to walk from the edge of the woods to the school and leave plenty of time to get back.

  162 I was scared and nervous, sneaking into the back of the auditorium. A teacher frowned at me, like she knew me from somewhere but couldn't quite recall where.

  I hung back in the shadows. The ceiling bothered me. I don't like being where I can't see the sk
y. But I stood there as patiently as I could, watching the ceremony through dim human eyes, and listening to the blah, blah, blah through weak human ears.

  And only at the end, as the recipients filed out, did I step from the shadows.

  Rachel was last in line. She was beautiful, as always. And she had the usual Rachel swagger.

  I saw Cassie give her a wink as she walked by. Rachel rolled her eyes, self-mocking, and Cassie laughed.

  When she passed by where Marco was sitting, Marco made a phony bow. You know, like he was bowing before some idol. Rachel laughed and shook her head.

  And then she was right there in front of me. I saw her eyes sweep over me, indifferent, and then look past me toward the door.

  She stopped walking.

  She turned to me. Her eyes were wide.

  "Hi, Rachel," I said with a human voice.

  163 TM

  Don't: miss

  Hey. Is that the horse you're looking for?" Rachel asked.

  "Where?"

  "There. Back by the road. Back by that pay phone."

  My dad and I turned back to look. A scruffy roan horse was swaying from side to side as it walked. Swaying like a drunk.

  As we watched, the horse seemed to be attracted to the telephone. It picked up the receiver with its mouth and let it hang off the hook.

  And that's when things got strange. The horse lowered its head to the ground, picked up a twig in its lips, and seemed to be poking the telephone keyboard.

  "Am I crazy, or is that horse trying to make a phone call?" Rachel said.

  My dad shrugged. "Must be disoriented. Doesn't know what it's doing. Come on, let's get over there."

  164 I dropped behind a few steps to fall in with Rachel.

  "That horse is dialing the phone," Rachel said in a whisper.

  "Sure looks like it," I agreed.

  "Ordering a pizza?" Rachel suggested.

  "Hay, alfalfa, and extra cheese?"

  My dad was getting close to the horse. The horse spotted him, and hesitated. Like it wanted to complete its phone call. But also wanted to run away. It decided to run. Only it wasn't really up for running. The best it could do was wobble off into the darkness, practically falling over as it went.

  "Whoa, girl, whoa," my dad said in his calming-the-animals voice. "Whoa. I'm just trying to help you."