Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension

by YT Whitemansson

  ''This here is a copy of Commentary on Revelation of John, by unknown author, it shunned all the metaphors of the Revelation itself, and proceeded with factual description of endtimes. It's filled with precise informations, it brought me here, I didn't translate it into English yet, there was no time.''

  He took another bundle of papers from his bag.

  ''This is the Testament of St. Cassian, in which he speaks about last days, and about the tsar from the east. I translated some parts, listen: 'In those times of plagues, in the far Russian mountains, a young man will appear, by the name of Elijah. People will be at wonder with him, how he walks the heavens, and he will go to the first monastery, and toll all the monastery bells. To people gathered around him, he will say: -You have forgotten me, and that I never died, but went to heaven alive-. And people will say to him: -We didn't, you are Elijah-.' A clear reference to Scaramouche.''

  ''So, Scaramouche is actually the prophet Elijah?''

  ''Incarnation of him, yes.''

  ''You don't think that he is, according to some stories, cloned Mumford Archibald Morse?''

  ''Who?! No, I never heard any such stories. They're groundless.''

  ''So, when is this end of the world going to happen?''

  ''I'm surprised that it didn't happen already. Who knows, maybe it begins today.''

  ''Why aren't you running scared then, as far as you can from here?''

  ''I've been chasing this for far too long to run away from it when it happens. No, I'm gonna be right here with my camera.''

  ''And I thought I was strange.''

  ''When you look at it from that perspective, I know it looks stupid.''

  ''And from what perspective am I suppose to look at it?''

  ''From the perspective that for once, I was right about something. That I was first, and maybe the only.''

  ''That's fucked up, bro.''

  ''Is it? I can't tell anymore. All I know is that the name of Squid Humbolt will go down in history, before the names of quack prophets and sibyls of this world. I actually went to see her, you know.''

  ''See who?''

  ''The Sibyl. The last one that still operates. I came to her with the informations I gathered, expecting that she will show some interest in me, but she just responed in a meaningless quatrain. Quack fortune-teller. Laterwards, someone told me that she is the wife of Haroun Garmonbozia, and that the whole oracle is his latest fraud.''

  I'm having serious problems in following his story.

  ''Name doesn't ring a bell.''

  ''Haroun Garmonbozia? He's from our world, that's the guy behind the book 'Toys of the elders of Zion'. In it, a jewish TV producer, discloses how he, together with other jewish parties, invented a concept of reality shows, as a form of psychological warfare against the Muslims. Book sold very well, although everything in it was obvious fabrication. Garmonbozia is in fact, an Egyptian Copt, not a Jew.''

  He's making my head spin.

  ''I was staring at you, because of your shirt. I used to have a shirt like that.''

  ''Actually, it's not mine, one girl gave it to me, just yesterday.''

  The look on his face changed. Have I said something wrong?

  ''I see you've met Kayla. It's my shirt you're wearin'.''

  I'll be damned.

  ''You're Jeff!''

  ''How small the world gets, despite so many levels. How is she?''

  ''She's waiting tables at this restaurant where Scaramouche's soldiers go.''

  ''Does she have anyone? Besides drifters that she's giving my clothes to?''

  The Revelation of Jove upset him.

  ''No. She's alone, and angry at you, and still wonderful and kind, wasting her days in that shithole, because you're chasing prophecies.''

  ''Look dude, I don't know what she told you, but it wasn't me that quit on her, she quit on me.''

  ''I don't want to play smart, or anything, but she followed you through over three hundred dimensions, didn't she? I just think that a girl like that deserves a closure, you can give her that much.''

  ''She'll probably spit me in the face when she sees me.''

  ''Or kiss you. You can't spell sex without...''

  ''Are those your friends?''

  They've returned.

  ''Laszlo's not here'', Lempo said: ''We did something, soldiers will come get us any minute now, we need to be together when that happens.''

  ''I'm leaving then'', said Jeff and looked at me: ''Good luck, man.''

  ''If the world doesn't end tonight, go to Gurg's and have a drink to my name, you can do that much for me, can you Squid?''

  ''Yeah... I guess.''

  Chapter sixty one

  Front row seat for the beginning of the end of the world

  Laszlo's not here, they said, he eluded them again. They discussed the probability of his crossing into the next realm, the realm of 'the guardian'. Is it possible that he grew so strong that he openned his own portal to it, or he somehow sneaked into the fort, and passed through Scaramouche's portal, they mused. They have to talk to Scaramouche, they decided, and they will get his attention by breaking in his fortress using their superpowers. I asked them to use some plan that doesn't involve violence, I offered one. I gave them the name that I got from Jove, that he got from Kayla, name of Mumford Archibald Morse, suppossed true identity of Scaramouche. If a note with his name would reach him, if that really is his name, we would probably get his attention. Lempo gave this note to one of the soldiers on checkpoint, and soldier went away with it. Lempo said that he's controling his mind, and that he will control passing of the paper from hand to hand, all the way to Scaramouche.

  ''Cool power, ha?'', he said.

  No, it's not. It's frightening. We went back for Jove, and found him talking with some guy. He went away.

  ''That was Jeff, Kayla's ex'', said Jove.

  ''Really? What did he say?''

  ''He said that the world will end today.''

  Creep. There was no time to ask any further questions, they came for us. They escorted us inside, and took us to the fortress, through bunch of intersecting corridors, and into a small office, where a large fat man sat, with thick glasses on his head, making his eyes look like Gollum's. He was clicking a pen in his hand.

  ''There's only one chair'', he said: ''So three of you will have to stand.''

  ''We need to speak to Scaramouche'', said Lempo.

  He pointed his pen at Lempo and Emily.

  ''You two played some kind of Jedi mind tricks with my soldiers. If you are at some war with me, you are breaking its rules.''

  If he is Scaramouche, than I understand how he got his nickname. He looks like a caricature. He scared Lempo.

  ''No, no'', he started apologizing: ''We didn't come with hostile intentions, we want-''

  ''How did you get this name?!'', big man interrupted him, and threw the paper with Morse's name on the table.

  ''Well, I got it actually'', said Jove: ''I've heard some story about that being the true identity of Scaramouche...''

  ''And you think that is me?!''

  ''Well, actually, a clone of him, I'm mean that's what the story claims.''

  ''Story claims that I a came out of a tube?''

  ''We all came out of some tube'', I said: ''It makes no difference what kind.''

  ''What is it that you want from me kids?''

  He called us kids.

  ''We want help!'', yelled Lempo: ''We are after a very dangerous man, a psychopath, who is on his way to three sixty five, and his destroying everything that gets on his way. We tracked him here, and lost him, we've him lost because he crossed into the next level, by using your portal, or openning his own!''

  ''Wormholes within these walls are monitored and secured day and night, no one can use my portal without me knowing, and I'm pretty sure it's impossible to create more.''

  ''Can you be hundred percent sure?'', said Emily: ''You cannot know until you look inside the portal.''

  ''I've look inside once befo
re and I will not do it again.''

  ''Then allow us to do it'', said Lempo.

  ''You don't have any idea what's inside, but go, go in if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you.''

  They escorted us to the wall of this shimmering hot air, and they all stepped into it one by one, and disappeared. Before I stepped, I looked back and saw that big man is watching.

  ''Thank you'', I said.

  ''Don't think I bought your friend's lies. You will all die. Don't say I didn't warn you.''

  Chapter sixty two

  Mind full of fire

  He climbed up the numerous stone steps, and disappeared inside the temple. Edwin closed his notebook, and went after him.

  ''Hubert, let's go!''

  I'm coming. Is there a point to all this? I just want to go home. I have rash on the inside of my ass, and around my armpits from sweating and rubbing skin to skin, I need to take a shower, is there a point to all this, you fuckin' bushwack?!

  ''Marco!'', Edwin yelled: ''Marco!''

  ''Down here!'', his voice came from behind the altar.

  A hole, and stairs that lead down.

  ''Jesus Christ, what are those?!''

  ''They are exactly what you think they are.''

  ''Nuclear warheads?!''

  ...Five, six, seven.

  ''Seven of them?!''

  ''Ya, the magnificent seven.''

  No more doubt, Engelherz truly is, insane. That display he bought, now I realize, is a detonator, detonator that he's connecting to BOMBS!

  ''Marco what are you doing?!'', spoke freaked out Edwin.

  ''I've been collecting them for many years. SSSR, India, Pakistan... Long ago, I realized that they frequently build these temples on places where cracks exist. And here is en crack too, between de warheads. And I realized, that de only way to get from point A to point Z, is to blast your own passage. Turn en crack, into en rift, with splitting of de atoms. I will create en passage to three fifty-three, and bidsprinkhaan.''

  ''You, you will blow away three fifty-three, bidsprinkhaan, and the rest of the world!!''

  ''Much must be risked in science.''

  ''This isn't science, this is lunacy! By god, you ARE INSANE!''

  ''Relax, this isn't de first time that I'm doing this. Once before, I have blown a rift, forty-two dimensions long, from one thirty-six to one seventy-eight, with only two warheads. They call it de rift of Al Miraj, named after de crack, that used to be there, no one is calling it de rift of Marco Engelherz, because no one was there to see that it was my deed! But now, you are here to witness my work, and Edwin will write it in de book, and everyone will know that Marco Engelherz isn't a moronic insurance agent, but de constellation in eternity!''

  ''You truly are-''

  Edwin pushed me, ''Don't anger him, we have to talk him out of this'', he whispered.

  ''Is there no other way Marco?!''

  ''No, none for me. I was waiting for far too long for something to happen, for en sign from above, but nothing happened and nothing will, until I take matters in my own hands.''

  ''Maybe you didn't get the sign because time isn't right yet, maybe you need to wait for little more longer...''

  ''No more waiting! I was en fool to believe in destiny.''

  The detonator beeped.

  ''You will rip a gigantic hole in the time-space continuum!'', I said.

  ''Ya, that's de idea. Setting the detonator to... two hours. That will give us enough time to make some distance...''

  ''Wait Marco, just wait!'', yelled Edwin: ''I'm a man of God, remember?! Let me try talking to him, let me ask him for a sign!''

  One last desperate attempt.

  ''Nothing will happen'', said Engelherz.

  Scene of wounded Charlton Heston detonating the doomsday device from 'Planet of the apes' flashed before my eyes. Everything went white.

  ''Please, just let me try Marco!''

  ''Fine. Pray.''

  He kneeled and folded his hands. There's no point to this...

  ''There's no point to this! Just press the button, you fuckin' fiend, press the fuckin' button and burn everything!! Burn us all in the fire of thousand suns!!''

  ''Hubert, don't!''

  ''You think you know everything, damn fool, yet you don't have any idea what purpose of life is!!''

  ''Stop! Stop! There's your sign! God has answered you! There's your sign!''

  Chapter sixty three

  One flight over Hyperborea

  In dynamation!

  Three white men. A father and his two sons, perhaps? Or, a master craftsman and his two assistants?

  ''Is this for real?'', uttered the first assistant.

  ''Yes, I am!'', I said: ''I am Pegasus, the winged horse of legends, always in aid of heroes! I aided Bellerophon and Perseus when they slew terrible monsters!''

  ''Did god sent you to take us to bidsprinkhaan?'', asked the master.

  ''What is this 'bidsprinkhaan'?'', I replied.

  ''A monster'', he said: ''The greatest leviathan that ever existed.''

  Oh, boy! A hero and his two slaves! Yes! Another opportunity for glory! Maybe, after this feat, people will finally build me a temple.

  ''You are on a quest of slaying this monster?'', I asked.

  ''I am, it is my destiny'', the hero replied.

  Oh, boy, this is so exciting!

  ''I offer my service to you'', I said: ''How can I help you?''

  ''Take us to the monster, over the wall and through the portal of three fifty-two'', he said.

  ''Over the wall of Hyperboreans?'', I asked.

  ''Yes'', he answered.

  ''I will!'', I said: ''Climb my back and I will take you there!''

  The first slave was reluctant to do so, so the hero ordered him. Hero climbed my back the last. And I flew them through the temple portal and high in the sky, setting my course for Hyperborea.

  ''Tell me hero!'', I spoke in the clouds: ''What kind of magical weapons do you have to accomplish this feat?''

  ''Many!'', he said: ''They are all invisible!''

  Oh, boy, invisible weapons!

  ''Perseus had one such helm, that would make him invisible when he would put it on his head'', I spoke to them of glory days: ''You know, people are wrong when they say that Perseus slew the Kraken! Kraken is a creature from Norse mythology, not Greek! Perseus actually slew a sea monster of Poseidon!''