Unbroken Pleasures

by Alisa Easton

  “First things first, Ben. Right now we have to focus on getting the two of you back into the same room together. I think given a bit of time, even Sylvia will see the benefits of spending her life with someone. If you really love her, you’re just going to have to be patient.”

  “Okay. I’ll do whatever it takes, Alex. Really I will.”

  “I know you will. You’re really good for her, Ben.”

  We continued to talk for a bit and then parted ways. I was left to finish my shopping still stunned by the realization that Ben’s feelings for Sylvia were even more serious than I thought. Marriage. I still couldn’t get used to the fact that someone had actually proposed marriage to Sylvia of all people. I felt a twinge of excitement in my belly and for a brief moment, I even imagined myself the maid of honor at her wedding but then I giggled to myself. I could never see Sylvia in the traditional white dress walking down the aisle. If Ben really loved her, and I believed that he did, he was going to have to settle for living together and even that might be a stretch. Sylvia was not going to give up her single status without a fight. This was going to be interesting to say the least.

  Chapter 13

  I spent the rest of Sunday just trying to not think too much. There were so many thoughts in my head but since I couldn’t make sense of any of them right now, I decided that the best way to spend my day would be to relax and watch mindless TV. I had a busy week at work ahead of me and I needed to get my head back where it belonged in order to face it. I had pretty much resolved to coerce Sylvia into seeing Ben again by arranging a double date with Adam and me. How well this would go over with Sylvia, however, was yet to be determined. I wasn’t going to worry about it right now.

  I settled into bed early, determined to get a good night sleep for a change since I still hadn’t managed a full night for as long as I could remember. Perhaps that was my problem all along? Lack of sleep was taking its toll on me. As soon as I managed to sleep well and clear my head then things would start to fall into place and I could feel happy about embracing a future with Adam, or at the very least a here and now. I began by reaching down to touch the space between my legs that ached to be touched. I imagined Adam’s face at first but much to my frustration, his face kept being replaced by images of Reese. I worked myself into a frenzy remembering the night he’d followed me home.

  I was so distracted that I almost missed the tapping on the window. I stopped massaging myself and bolted upright, listening. At first I thought it was only the wind which had picked up and caused the branches from the trees outside to scratch against my window. I let out my breath slowly and was about to sink back down to the bed when I heard the noise again. This time it was unmistakable. Someone was standing just outside my bedroom window rapping insistently. I pulled the blanket around me and quickly slipped back into my panties.

  I looked at the bedside table where I usually dropped my phone before crawling into bed but it wasn’t there. I must have left it in the living room with my coat after I brought home groceries this afternoon. I slid quietly out of bed, pulling my nightgown down and wished that it would reach farther than above the knees. My room was lit only by what little light came in through the open drapes at the window where someone was standing and peering inward. I heard him say my name even though it was muffled by the glass between us and I knew that it was Reese. Sylvia had been right. I was fighting a battle with myself deep inside that I knew I’d already lost.

  I walked closer to the window as my heart beat wildly in my chest. All I could hear was its echoes in my ears as I looked out into the darkness and saw him looking back at me. I clicked the lock and slid the window open feeling the coolness of the night breeze against my skin.

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered. The look in his eyes melted me. I wanted his breath on my skin.

  “I needed to see you again. Can I come in?”

  I panicked. In my head I screamed yes, it was all I’d wanted since the day I encountered him in the rain but I thought of Adam and I knew that it wasn’t right. “No,” I said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

  “Please, Alexandra, I need to see you.”

  “What do you want? Why are you here? You shouldn’t have come back.”

  “Please…”

  “I don’t know who you are but clearly we made a mistake and it’s not a mistake that I am willing to repeat.”

  I closed the window without waiting for a reply, yanked the curtains closed, and sank to the floor trying to control the pounding in my chest. I wanted to open the curtains and tell him I’d changed my mind but I wouldn’t allow myself that pleasure. I’d made a promise to myself and I was determined not to break it. When I felt I’d regained my composure enough to stand, I made my way to the bathroom attached to my bedroom and splashed water over my face. I wasn’t dreaming. He’d come back to me and I’d just sent him away. I didn’t know whether I should be proud of myself or vomit in despair. Why did this stranger have such a hold over me?

  I flipped the bathroom light off and went back to my bedroom that was darker now that the drapes were closed. I was about to slide into my bed when I noticed a shadow that didn’t quite fit in with my perception of how my room should look at night. I froze but didn’t say a word, waiting for the shadow in the doorway to either move or reveal itself as my imagination playing tricks on me. Nothing happened.

  “Hello?” I whispered to the darkness. I didn’t know if I wanted it to respond.

  “Alexandra…”

  “How did you get in my house?” My heart leapt in my chest. I should call for help but my phone was in the living room and the only way I could get to it would be to get past him first. I didn’t move.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “Get out of my house.” My words lacked conviction. My body responded to the sound of his voice and his proximity. My thoughts were filled with the memories of his hands on my body and despite all my efforts not to feel it, I wanted him more than any man I’d ever known. I was at war with myself.

  “I know you think about me too,” he said stepping forward out of the doorway, “I know you still walk at night and you look for me. There was so much I wanted to say to you the other night at the restaurant.”

  “But you were with someone else.”

  “And so were you.”

  “Who is she?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “Then you want to see me too. You want to be with me as much as I want to be with you.”

  “I think you’re crazy and you should leave.”

  “Not until you convince me that it’s what you really want.”

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  He stepped forward again until we were almost face to face in the darkness. I could just about make out the features of his face and the look in his eyes as he approached me.

  “Kiss me,” he said softly and I felt myself melt as his breath caressed my face. He bent just close enough that all I would have to do is lift slightly onto my toes and my lips would touch his.

  “What does that prove?” I whispered, unable to catch my breath.

  “Kiss me.”

  I reached up with only the intention to let my lips gently graze his but he caught me before I could pull away and held me in place. I struggled at first but all my strength had given way and all I could do was match the intensity of his kiss. One moment stretched into a lifetime. When he stopped, I was reluctant to let him go.

  “Do you still want me to go?”

  I stared into the darkness looking anywhere except at him. I couldn’t find the words to say everything that was coursing through me at that moment. I didn’t even know if there were words to explain it. I didn’t want him to go but I still couldn’t give in to letting him stay. He took my face in both his hands and forced me to look at him. I tried to make out the expression on his face in the darkness. He kissed me again. I closed the distance between us by putting my arms around hi
s neck and giving in to his tongue teasing mine.

  He let go suddenly and pulled free of my grasp. I watched in horror as his dark form moved toward the window, stricken by the irrational fear that he would climb out and disappear into the night.

  “Wait,” I said moving toward him. He pulled back the drapes to let the soft light from outside filter through the window. I could see his face better now, even though the light was still dim. He smiled at me.

  “You want me to stay,” he said slipping his arms around my waist and locking my body tight against his.

  “I have so many questions. I don’t know if I can even trust you.”

  “You know me,” he said placing a hand on the back of my head and looking into my eyes. I felt dizzy and confused. He kissed me again and lingered against my lips. I enjoyed the sensation of our mouths together and bodies so close. I ran my hands along his chest, letting them trail over his stomach and along his waist. I felt a tingle of excitement. I was standing in my bedroom alone with the stranger that I had lusted over every day since I met him in the rain over a week ago. I felt overwhelmed by desire not knowing where to begin.

  “Wait,” I said trying to break free from his hold, trying to regain some composure over my senses. “We can’t do this.”

  He slowly allowed me to unravel from his arms but he didn’t move. I stepped back to allow enough distance to remove the temptation to touch or kiss him again even though my body screamed at me to give in to him. How could I let this man walk out of my house a second time without sampling what I so desperately craved? I longed to reach out and run my hands along the front of his jeans.

  “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night we met,” he said watching me as though he could read the thoughts running through my mind.

  “Why did you come back?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “Why now? Why did it take you so long?”

  “Maybe I’ve had some of the same doubts that you’ve had,” he said, “but no matter what, I come to one conclusion.”

  “And what exactly is that?”

  “I need more.”

  “I’m dating someone now,” I said and then felt stupid for saying it. He sighed softly and sat down on the edge of my bed. I waited for him to say something. The sexual tension hung like a thick wall between us and I felt like I could barely hold back. I opened my mouth to ask him to leave again but I couldn’t do it.

  “I’m not asking for anything,” he told me.

  “I know.”

  “Do you know why I’m here?”

  “No.”

  “Because I can’t stay away from you.”

  “What were you doing that night when we met in the rain?”

  “You know what I was doing.”

  “You were watching.”

  “Yes. And so were you.”

  “I wasn’t. I mean, I didn’t mean to. It’s not the sort of thing that I do.”

  “Maybe it’s not the sort of thing that I do either.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I have a job, a life, just like anyone else.”

  “And a girlfriend?”

  “Does it matter?” I could tell that he was studying me intently in the dim light, “You have a boyfriend.”

  “But I wasn’t planning to…” I stopped. I couldn’t finish the thought. It wasn’t true that I wasn’t planning to sleep with Reese. It’s the only thing that I wanted. The more time that he spent sat in my bedroom, on my bed, the more dangerous this situation became. How long could I resist reaching out to touch him? How long could I endure not having his lips against mine? How could I let him walk out that door without knowing the feel of his skin against mine? I shuddered with the thought and hoped that he hadn’t noticed but I was pretty sure that he had.

  “Your eyes tell me everything I need to know. I saw the hunger in them when you kissed me.”

  “Reese… this isn’t a very good idea…”

  But I wasn’t going to tell him no. Whatever resolve I had felt when he first showed up at my window had dissipated and the only thing that remained was him and me in the night.

  He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat and took both of my hands in one of his large hands, pulling them up over my head as he pushed me against the wall with my hands pinned over my head. Before I could dare to protest, he’d smothered his mouth against mine and kissed me relentlessly. I made a feeble attempt to pull away from him but we both knew that there was no turning back.

  The weight of his body crushed into mine and I moaned. His breath intermingled with mine as we kissed each other. When he seemed satisfied that I wasn’t going to fight, he let go of my hands so that he was free to explore my body with his. In one smooth gesture, he yanked my nightgown up over my head and tossed it aside. I tugged his shirt free from his pants and stroked the smooth muscles underneath. He pushed my hands away and I opened my mouth to protest but he pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it next to my nightgown revealing his perfectly toned chest. I longed to touch him, something that had been denied me during our first encounter and completely absent from the dream that I’d had of him in the restaurant. I wanted to caress every inch of his skin and never let go.

  “Wait,” I whispered, feeling his breath against my neck as he nuzzled into my ear.

  “I can’t wait,” he said.

  He turned me around and guided me into my bed which now felt foreign. I didn’t dare to move. He guided me gently to my back with his shadow looming over me. I could feel his breath against my face and even though he hadn’t even touched me, my entire body trembled. I knew that he could feel it too. He stroked my arms softly as though to calm me before he leaned closer to touch his lips to mine. I savored the touch of his mouth and the taste of his tongue. My body ignited with newfound desires that I could barely contain.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered, breaking our contact just enough to speak the words.

  I couldn’t speak. I only nodded in agreement and put my hands to the back of his head to pull his lips to mine so that our connection would not be broken. I was determined to hold on to him but I shouldn’t have feared that he would try to leave me again so soon. Our passion consumed us and somehow we managed to tear away the remainder of our clothes from each other’s bodies so that we were finally flesh against flesh as I had dreamed we would be for what felt like an eternity rather than days.

  Pulling away, he knelt down beside the bed and took my feet into his hands, massaging and kissing his way up my legs, tracing the line of my inner thighs until I felt like I was on fire. He softly manipulated the skin of my legs with his hands, reaching up over my hips to the hyper sensitive area of skin just below my belly button. He quickly covered my flesh with his mouth, licking and kissing and then exploring more of my body until he worked his way back to my inner thighs. I nearly exploded with a single touch of his tongue against my core. He nuzzled and sucked until I was grasping the sheets. He stopped and I cried out for him to continue. I didn’t know if I was in anguish, pain, or falling head over heels in love with this man but I needed more and I was determined that I would get it.

  He spread my legs wide and crawled into the bed to position himself between them and I felt myself quiver again. He didn’t hesitate to lower himself and press into me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him closer, knowing that as much as he gave me, it would never be enough. We’d somehow absorbed each other with every thrust, a feeling that was almost magical. I clung to him with all my strength as if by doing so I could persuade this moment to never end even though I knew I was already on the verge of climax.

  I don’t know how long this went on or how many times I must have reached orgasm in that one single night but by the time I opened my eyes to Monday morning and an empty space beside me in bed, I was in no state to actually face the day. One fact that I could not deny, it had been the most incredible night of my life and I was sure as I showered and dressed and left for work th
at the smile on my face would stay there for a long time.

  Chapter 14

  All I could think about was him, the way he’d touched me, and the way he’d made me feel. As I worked through Monday, I felt as though I was floating on a cloud as I tried to focus the best that I could on the steady stream of patients that I was seeing that day. Mary kept prodding me with questions when we had a few moments alone but I was reluctant to give any answers. Besides, I still didn’t know exactly what I was dealing with here either. So, he’d showed up in my bedroom last night and so what, he’d given me the most incredible experience of my life. I wanted to hold on to some hope that it wouldn’t be the end of it. I wasn’t sure exactly what I hoped it would become but at that moment, I was willing to settle for just sex if it meant that the sex would go on to infinity.

  Just before I was ready to head out for a quick lunch break, I had an unfortunate jolt back to reality. Mary knocked lightly on my office door while I checked the messages on my phone one last time. There were no missed calls.

  “There is someone here to see you,” she said with a strange smile on her face.

  “Oh?”

  “I think you’re going to be pretty happy,” Mary said with a wink.

  My heart leapt in my chest. I’d never talked about my work with Reese. How did he find me? Mary saw how flustered I was as I grabbed my purse and fished out my compact mirror to check my reflection.

  “I can’t believe he’s here,” I muttered. I couldn’t catch my breath. I’d just spent the night with him completely naked and open but yet somehow facing him in the daylight felt too overwhelming. I wasn’t sure if I could handle actually having a conversation with him.

  Mary leaned against the doorway and folded her arms across her chest with a smug look on her face.

  “Well, well, well, I always suspected there might be potential for the two of you but I never thought I’d see the day you’d fall so head over heels like this.”