Unveiling Ghosts

by Jeannine Allison

“What about you and Derek?”

  “Naomi,” Alara hissed.

  “Look, I know it’s probably inappropriate—”

  “Since when do you care about that?” Alara mumbled.

  “But,” Naomi continued, shooting a sharp glare at our friend. “I really need to know at least this one question. Did you and Derek ever hook up?”

  I knew Naomi, and possibly Alara, had thought Derek and I had slept together. And while yes, we were close, we had never crossed that line. We were just incredibly good friends who joked about sex. Alara would never understand since she still blushed around Naomi and me when we discussed it, and Naomi was so freaked out that she probably just tried not to think of it at all.

  “No. He’s just my best friend.” I knew they wouldn’t be offended. It was never a secret that they were closer than I was to either of them.

  Naomi frowned. “Why’d you guys pretend to hook up?”

  I gave her a blank stare. “Do you remember when we first started hanging out? You were trying to hook me up with every one of Caleb’s friends, and you were so excited about finally being able to double date. And since Alara was… well… Alara, that left me.” Alara blushed, and I threw in a smile to show I meant no harm.

  “And I was certainly in no mood for a boyfriend, or even to pretend. Derek and I were drinking one night and he suggested we fake it.” I shrugged. “It just made sense, and even though you hated it and still made comments about it, you were done trying to push guys at me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Naomi shook her head, looking genuinely distraught. “I didn’t know…”

  Leaning forward, I put my hand over hers. “I know.”

  It felt good to be back in Carillo, and as we discussed all the things I’d missed when I was gone, I realized just how much I actually cared about them. It wasn’t as though I thought I didn’t, but finding Hunter again made me see how I’d been keeping them at a little bit of a distance.

  “So…” Naomi’s eyebrows wiggled. “When do we get to meet him?”

  “Well, we were thinking of having a housewarming in a couple weeks once the house is a little bit more furnished.”

  “I don’t want to wait that long,” she whined. “Can’t we just have a get-together at your apartment?”

  Alara nodded along. “We can invite Ellie and Grayson, too. That way he won’t be the only outsider.”

  Ellie was Damien’s younger sister. She was eight months pregnant and a recovering alcoholic, so she didn’t exactly get out much. I’d only met her once, and Grayson was a new friend of Damien’s who I’d never met.

  “Okay. Why don’t I plan something for this weekend?”

  Naomi clapped her hands with a bright grin. “Perfect.”

  I was suddenly anxious as she pulled a small notebook and begin jotting down ideas for food. It wasn’t like I honestly believed my friends wouldn’t get along with Hunter, but I didn’t just want them to get along. I wanted them to become genuine friends… to become family.

  “We’ll love him,” Alara whispered. Naomi was busy talking to herself while she tapped her pen against her chin. When I looked at my soft-spoken friend, she smiled.

  “Don’t worry so much. That part of your life is over, Sherry. Now, it’s time for you to be happy.”

  EVERYONE WAS HERE.

  Alara, Gabe, Naomi, and Damien were sitting around the kitchen table, laughing as they finished their meals, while Derek, Sam, and Ellie had moved to the living room to lounge on the couch. Hunter and I were supposed to be putting some of the food away, but instead we stood next to each other, against the counter, just staring at the train wreck.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen three more awkward people in my life,” Hunter whispered in my ear.

  “Tell me about it,” I muttered.

  Derek was a moron.

  Don’t get me wrong, I loved him and he was like a brother to me, but he was also an absolute dumbass. He had been crushing on Gabe’s sister, Sam, for almost a year now. Why he had yet to do anything about it was a complete mystery to me. I didn’t know Sam all that well, but it seemed pretty obvious she felt the same way.

  But neither of them were doing anything about it, which left poor Ellie stuck in the middle… literally. And with the little I’d come to know of her, she was incredibly awkward.

  So watching these two lovesick idiots on either side of a very pregnant Ellie, both pretending they weren’t looking at the other while Ellie tried to come up with ways to keep the conversation going, was highly entertaining.

  A loud knock boomed through the apartment.

  “Is Bigfoot coming?” Hunter whispered out of the side of his mouth.

  “I’ll get it,” Ellie said as she tried to get off the couch. She grunted as she fell backward. Damien rolled his eyes and easily got up to answer the door. Ellie was still trying, this time getting a little further, so when she fell back her arms flailed a little.

  “Hey. What are you doing?” I looked over to see a guy as tall as Damien, only much leaner, enter the apartment and stalk straight toward Ellie. He was frowning as he looked down at her; one arm was thrown over her eyes in frustration. When he gently pulled it back, I saw tears in her eyes.

  “C’mon.” His voice softened as he lightly gripped her arms and lifted her up.

  “I can’t do anything. I can’t bend over, I can’t get up. My feet are so swollen I can only wear slippers now.” We all looked down to see her wiggling her feet, which were covered in slip-on unicorn slippers.

  “I think they’re really cute,” Naomi chimed in.

  Ellie’s head snapped up and her eyes drifted around the room. Her cheeks pinked as if she’d just realized she said all that out loud, and her bottom lip quivered. She mumbled something before she buried her head in her hands. Damien nodded toward the newcomer who quickly put an arm around Ellie and led her down the hall of my apartment, apparently unfazed that he had no idea where he was going.

  I looked toward Damien and tilted my head down the hall where they disappeared. “Grayson?”

  “Yup.”

  “Are they dating?” Hunter asked.

  “Not yet,” Naomi said, rolling her eyes when Damien shot her a look.

  Raising my eyebrows, my gaze shifted to Sam and Derek, then down the hall.

  Great, two stupid couples who didn’t know they weren’t “friends.”

  “I’m confused,” Hunter mumbled.

  I pointed toward Alara and Gabe, who were huddled together, laughing, completely oblivious to everything else. “That’s Alara and Gabe. They met almost a year ago and recently moved in together, leaving…” I trailed off before nodding to Naomi and Damien, who were now standing at the mouth of the hallway. “Naomi without a place to live. So she’s moving in with her boyfriend, Damien, and his sister, Ellie, who just went down the hall with Grayson. I don’t know much about him, other than apparently he and Ellie are crushing on each other just like Sam and Derek.” I hooked my thumb toward my best friend and the beautiful brunette he wanted to make his girlfriend but was too chickenshit to make a move.

  Hunter nodded and turned to me with a smile. “Okay, I think I got it.” He was staring at my lips, most likely getting ready to descend, when we were interrupted.

  “Thanks again for not having any alcohol,” Damien said as he walked over to us. “Obviously Ellie wouldn’t do anything, but I don’t want to wave it in her face.”

  “Ellie’s an alcoholic,” I mentioned to Hunter before turning back to Damien. “Of course. Hunter tries to stay away from it, too.”

  Naomi’s boyfriend turned toward mine and they started discussing some of Hunter’s problems with it. He was nowhere near as dependent as Ellie had been, based on what Naomi has told us, but he could probably offer some tips. I kissed Hunter on the cheek, leaving the two of them to talk while I moved toward Derek, noticing that Sam had joined her brother and Alara.

  I’d barely made it four steps when Naomi appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my arm,
pulling me toward the corner of the room.

  “Ohmygod, Sher. He is freaking beautiful,” she whispered as her eyes bored into mine.

  “Yeah, because Damien is a big bag of trash.” We looked over toward the two, both handsome in their own ways. Damien had everything to make a girl weak in the knees: muscles, tattoos, a beard, and a man bun. There was no denying he was attractive. But Hunter was more what you would call classically handsome: sharp jawline, fit, hair that seemed to fall the right way, and always well dressed. He was the kind of guy who would put hearts in your eyes. Either way, both men caused you to stop and stare when they were in the room.

  Shaking my head, I turned around to see Naomi drooling as her gaze ran over Damien.

  I guess we’re done talking about Hunter…

  “Can I go talk to your brother now?” She nodded, hardly paying attention as she leaned against the wall and eye-fucked her boyfriend.

  Grayson and Ellie were still in the back when I plopped down next to Derek. His arm immediately wrapped around my shoulders as he pulled me into a side hug. I hadn’t seen him as much as I would have liked since Hunter and I got back a little over a week ago.

  Pulling back, I shuffled around until my feet were tucked under me and I was sitting sideways, facing him.

  “Are you glad to be back?” he asked.

  Nodding, I looked around at my apartment. “Yeah.” I refocused on Derek. “How are you?”

  He grinned. “I’m really good. My mom’s doing better and Naomi seems happier than ever. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

  Derek’s mother relapsed and overdosed on heroin a couple of months ago, nearly destroying him and Naomi, so I was grateful that she was doing better. But I wanted to know about him.

  “You have this habit of only measuring your happiness by what’s going on in the lives of the people around you.” His smile slipped and his brows furrowed. I continued before he said anything. “And there’s nothing wrong with wanting those you love to be happy. I’d be a little concerned if you didn’t. But you also have to think about what makes you happy. What do you want more than anything?”

  He took a long “sip” of his soda before turning fully toward me with a serious look on his face. “I’m thinking of asking Sam to move in.”

  I blinked at the sudden change of topic. Except it wasn’t sudden. Because I knew that Derek wanted Sam more than anything. And since Gabe was moving in with Alara, that left Derek without a roommate.

  “Holy shit… really?” Quickly nodding, his gaze flew to Sam across the room. “Yes. God, that’s brilliant, Derek.”

  “Is it? I don’t want her to think it’s weird or anything. But ever since her dad said no to her dog she’s been looking for a place…”

  “It’s perfect. You should definitely ask her.” I smiled at him, but he wasn’t paying attention to me. His eyes were still on Sam.

  “You love her,” Derek said, somewhere between a question and a statement.

  I looked away from him, my eyes immediately finding Sherry. She was standing on the other side of the room, laughing as Naomi was animatedly talking with her hands.

  “Thank you,” I said, turning back to face him.

  “For what?” He looked genuinely perplexed.

  “For loving her. For being her friend. I know she loves Alara and Naomi, but what the two of you have…” I shook my head. “It’s what has kept her going all these years. It’s the love of a best friend.”

  “You’re not jealous?”

  “Jealous? Of course not. I’m grateful, Derek. She needed someone, and while yes, it kills me that I wasn’t strong enough to be that someone, I would never be selfish enough to wish that she was here dealing with this by herself.”

  I could feel Derek looking at me. After a few minutes, he finally said, “You’ll do.” Then he slapped me on the back and walked away, joining his sister and my girl, immersing himself like he’d always been a part of the conversation.

  I stayed back, still unsure of my place. I wasn’t alone for long. Less than ten minutes later, Alara silently made her way over and stood next to me. All three girls were so different it was almost comical.

  “Hey.” I turned and looked at her. Sherry had mentioned she was a little fidgety but I figured the greeting made it safe. Bright green eyes met mine, eyes almost the same color as Sherry’s, but nowhere near as beautiful to me. Because it wasn’t about the color but about what they held, what they conveyed when Sherry looked at me.

  “Hi.”

  “Are you having fun? I know it’s got to be pretty awkward not knowing anyone.” Alara waved her hand toward the center of the room.

  “I don’t mind observing. Life of a photographer, I suppose.”

  She nodded, looking slightly distressed as she brought her hands together and began fidgeting. “Naomi is really excited about her being around for the holidays.”

  My brow furrowed. “She wasn’t before?”

  “No.” Alara frowned. “She always used to sneak away. We never knew why until recently. I guess sometimes she went for information on you and other times she just wanted to disappear.”

  The frown I wore matched hers. Sherry had always loved her birthday and the holidays. I hated that she spent the last four years avoiding them, and I vowed to spend the rest of our lives making it up to her.

  I shut and locked the door behind Sam and Derek, the last people to leave, before turning around. I was smiling as I leaned back against the wood and crossed my arms over my chest.

  Sherry was walking around the table, stacking the dirty plates and putting all the dirty silverware in the empty water glasses. There was an easy smile on her lips as she hummed along to a popular song I recognized but couldn’t name coming out of her docked iPod. My own smile widened as she swayed her hips and the long, light-pink skirt she wore skimmed along her bare feet.

  She was absolutely breathtaking.

  And I never wanted to catch my breath.

  I looked at her and saw everything. I saw my past with all its pain, I saw my present with all its joy, and I saw my future with all its promise.

  I saw the hands that helped me up when I was down, the feet that walked proudly beside me, the lips that kissed me, the heart that loved me, and I saw the flat belly that would one day hold our children.

  I was still staring at her stomach when I realized the humming had stopped. Looking up, I found her eyes waiting for me. Her head was tilted to the side and her lips were tipped up into curious grin.

  Shoving off the door, I walked toward her and took the plates from her hands and put them back down on the table. Sherry’s smile smoothed out in understanding and brightened as she placed her hand in my upturned one. I pulled her into the foyer, one arm winding around her waist, while I curled our fused hands and settled them between our chests. She was still smiling as she wrapped her free arm around my shoulder, her fingers playing with the tufts of hair at the base of my neck.

  We slowly swayed together, our feet barely lifting off the ground.

  “What is this?” I asked when she started singing, her voice soft and sweet.

  “Christina Perri. ‘A Thousand Years.’”

  “It’s pretty.”

  She nodded before leaning forward and laying her head on my chest, next to our entwined hands. I felt the vibrations from her voice, and it was like a straight shot to my heart. It felt like she was singing all those things to me. About how she died waiting for me. About how she’d loved me forever, and would love me even longer.

  I squeezed my eyes shut at the emotion threatening to spill over. I couldn’t even imagine how painful the last four years must have been for her. Not knowing what happened to me or if I’d ever return, always assuming the worse. I think it would have killed me. It sounded cheesy as hell, and impractical, too, but I think I would have died of heartbreak. The only thing that had kept me going all these years was knowing that she was out there, alive and safe, surrounded by people who cared about her.
>
  Pulling my head back from her, I looked down as I squeezed her hand and kept her body impossibly close with my other arm. The small, content smile she had fell when she looked into my eyes, into the tears I knew were there.

  “Sherry,” I whispered, my small voice cracking in the middle.

  “What’s wrong?” She brought the arm she had around my neck down and smoothed out the lines between my eyebrows.

  “You’re amazing.” The soft smile appeared but my concerns and regrets didn’t disappear. “I don’t know how you did it. I don’t know how you’re here smiling at me like I’m the best thing that happened to you. I don’t know how you carried on and lived like everything didn’t burn to the ground around you. I don’t know how you lived without love.”

  “You did, too.”

  I shook my head. “But I knew you were out there. I knew you were okay.” I bent my head and kissed our hands still resting between us. “I know we’ve talked about it, and I know you forgive me. But I’m still so damn sorry.”

  Sherry leaned up and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “My turn?” At my nod, she continued. “There was this moment, when I first woke up, where I’d forget everything. It was just a tiny moment, so small it probably should have its own word, but it was there. I’d wake up and I’d forget that all of you were gone. Because the truth is, despite my friends who I have come to love deeply, my nightmares began when I woke up, like I already told you. Because I was forced to live in a world where everyone I’d loved was gone. And the people I loved now, I couldn’t love fully because I was just waiting for them to be taken from me, too.”

  “God, Sherry, you’re breaking my heart.”

  “Shh… I’m about to put it back together, I promise.” She smiled and traced the edges of my face, my lips, my nose, and finally my jaw until she cupped my cheek. “Now, when I wake up, half the nightmare is gone. And there’s no moment because I wake up in your arms. I’m immediately surrounded by love. It doesn’t make it okay that they’re gone, nothing would. But Bobby’s gone, too. Almost thirteen years later, and I still miss him. I still hate that he was taken from us. Death is cruel and unfair. It doesn’t make sense and it would hurt regardless of how it happened. I’ll always miss them, but the hole in my heart isn’t as big, because you’re here. Because I have you back, and because you can help me remember them.”