Key To My Heart: Stay

by Misty Reigenborn

  Her mother was out with Alisa Black, so she didn’t have to explain herself to her mother at least. For safety’s sake, especially since her body had become more than her own, she left her mother a note, telling her where she was going, and that she loved her.

  She sat in her car for a moment, her head on the steering wheel. She had teased Demi when Demi had told her that she was pregnant, telling her that she was almost ready to have a child herself. But she was scared out of her wits, almost in a panic. She was overwhelmed, and while she knew that she should be turning to the man that she loved instead of running away from him, she didn’t think she could face him right now. He made her feel entirely too vulnerable, and right now she needed to be strong and keep a clear head.

  She pulled out of the driveway, heading out of town. She stopped at a convenience store to get something to drink, her stomach churning with nervousness. Her phone rang when she was pulling out of the parking lot, and she pushed the button to turn on her Bluetooth headset, and answered her sister’s call.

  “Hey Dem.”

  “Acasia, I think something is up with Nikki. Have you talked to her lately?”

  Acasia had to rack her brain for the last time she had spoken to her sister. Nikki had always made sure to send plenty of pictures of Sammi since the gorgeous little girl had been born, but lately any talk of how she and Jay were doing, or how she was feeling herself had been scarce.

  But Nikki was a private person, and had always tended to turn to Jay when something was on her mind. And they rarely seemed to have any problems in their relationship. The thought that her sister was having problems with her marriage did not sit well with Acasia. If Nikki and Jay couldn’t make it after thirteen years of love and devotion, she was even less convinced that she could make things work with Garett, though she loved him madly.

  She could no longer imagine her life without him, and she knew that with their current circumstances, she certainly couldn’t reasonably try to keep him out of her life. Garett would make an amazing father, and husband. She just wasn’t sure that she would ever make a good mother or wife.

  “It’s been a few weeks hon. What makes you think something is going on?”

  “Well, Nikki’s cell phone was out for a while, but every time I called their house phone Jay was the only one that answered and he always gave me some vague answer of when Nikki would be back. I got the feeling that they’re separated.”

  “That’s crazy Dem. Nikki and Jay have been in love since they were thirteen years old. If they can’t make it work, then it’s a pretty bleak picture for the rest of us.”

  “Yeah, I suppose it is. She never talks about herself, just tells me all about Sammi. It’s not that I don’t want to hear about the baby, especially when I have one of my own on the way, but I know that something is up. She’s shutting it all up inside. Why won’t she talk to us? We’re sisters.”

  “I know Dem. But Nikki always tries to work everything out in her head before she turns to anyone for help. Even Jay.”

  “Has Jay said anything to Garett?”

  “Not that I know of. But Jay was never one to discuss the problems that he and Nikki had with his brothers either. Not that they ever seemed to have problems. I’m sure Nikki is fine. And if she’s not, then we will find out what’s going on soon enough. How are you?”

  “I’m coming home Cas. There’s no point in staying here anymore since Del decided he doesn’t want to be a part of the baby’s life and I lost my job. I already talked to Melda Gaines. She’s going to rent me her daughter’s old house.”

  “That’s great. Isn’t it?”

  Demi sighed. “It feels a little like giving up, but I suppose that everyone always knew I’d end up back in Clinton eventually. My last day at work is next Friday, so I’ll see you next weekend.”

  “That’s good. I miss you baby sister.”

  “I miss you too big sister. How are you? How are things with Garett?”

  “Dem.”

  “What Cas?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh Cas. Aren’t you happy? I thought things were going well between you and Garett.”

  “They are. But it’s so soon.”

  “Have you told him yet?”

  “No. I’m on my way out of town.”

  “You’re running away from him aren’t you? Oh Cas, you have to tell him. He’s going to be happy. What are you afraid of?”

  “I’m afraid of everything Dem. I’m so in love with him that I can hardly see straight. I know he’s going to be happy, and I know that he’s going to make a good father. It’s me that I’m worried about. I don’t know how to be a mother.”

  “Do you think I know how to be a mother? At least you know that Garett’s going to be there for you. I’m facing it all alone.”

  “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m such a bitch.”

  “You’re not a bitch Acasia. We’re both going to be fine, and so is Nikki. The Brown sisters never give up, remember?”

  “I love you Dem. I’m glad you’re coming home.”

  “I am too. But I don’t think I could stand living at home with Mom while I’m pregnant.”

  Acasia laughed. “I don’t blame you. I suppose I’ll have to find myself another place soon too.”

  “As soon as you tell Garett, he’ll be there with his truck to move you into his house.”

  “He’s made some progress on it, but the Collins place is still a dump. Not exactly fit for a baby.”

  “So you stay with me until he gets his butt in gear and makes the place livable. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell him Cas.”

  “How did you tell Del?”

  Demi laughed. “I made my first absentminded pregnant woman move and left the test on the bathroom counter. You did remember to hide the test so that Mom wouldn’t find it didn’t you?”

  “Yeah. The last thing that I need is Mom finding out before I have a chance to tell Garett. I just need to clear my head, then I’ll be okay.”

  “Did you tell him where you were going?”

  “No.”

  “Acasia, he’s going to worry about you.”

  “I left a note for Mom, and I told you where I’m going.”

  “Yes, I suppose you did. Well, actually you didn’t, you just told me that you’re on your way out of town. Where exactly are you going?”

  “Up to Trent. I’m staying at some cheesy motel-“The Off the Beaten Track Inn” I think. It was the only place I could afford. My finances aren’t exactly spectacular these days.”

  “You know that Garett will take care of you Cas.”

  “I don’t want him to take care of me. Well, I do, and in some ways he does, but. . . I just don’t know Dem. Why can’t things ever happen at a good time? This should be happening later, not when we’ve only been together two months.”

  Demi laughed. “Babies don’t really seem to understand that there’s a good time for them to born and a bad time sis. I should know.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m only thinking about myself again. How’s your baby doing?”

  “Seems to be growing bigger and bigger every day.”

  “That’s good. Um, Dem there was something that I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Gavin has been asking about you.”

  Her sister’s silence stretched on for too long. “Demi?”

  “I’m here.”

  She’d waited to talk to Demi about Gavin, because she’d tried to plan out what she wanted to say to her. She didn’t want to see Demi hurt, especially when she was pregnant. But at the same time, Demi was a grown woman and she had proven in the last few months just how strong she could be.

  “Please be careful Dem. Even if he loves you, it doesn’t mean that he won’t hurt you.”

  “He doesn’t love me Acasia. And why would he come back home now after being gone for so long? For me?” Demi snorted. “Especially when I’m pregnant with another man’s child.”

  “Gare
tt won’t tell me exactly what they talk about, and he claims that Gavin doesn’t ask about you in anything more than a casual way. But I know that he’s not telling me the full truth. He can’t look me in the eye when he talks about Gavin.”

  “Yep. That’s a telltale sign that your man is lying. He’s been the same way since we were kids. But just because he’s holding something back about Gavin doesn’t mean that he’s in love with me, and especially not that he’s going to come home after all this time because I decided to move back.”

  “You know that I love you Dem, and I just want what’s best for you right?”

  “Of course I do Cas. And I’ve always known that Gavin was not what was best for me. But I. . .”

  “What hon?”

  “Never mind. If Gavin shows up in Clinton, I’ll deal with it. But I sincerely doubt that it’s going to happen. I’m gonna let you go sis. I love you. Have a good time on your little getaway.”

  Acasia laughed. “I’ll try. I love you too Dem.”

  “Congratulations. At least I don’t have to be pregnant alone now.”

  She let a smile touch her face briefly. She felt a little better after talking to Demi, but now she was worried about Nikki, and more than a little worried about Demi as well, wondering how her sister really would react if Gavin showed up in Clinton. No she thought, WHEN Gavin showed up in Clinton. She knew that he was going to. It was just a matter of when.

  “Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon, and I’ll try to get a hold of Nikki.”

  “Okay. Bye Cas.”

  “Bye Dem.”

  Acasia ended the call, wishing that her head weren’t so damned muddled. She felt like she was already suffering from pregnancy brain and wondered how in the hell she was going to deal with it for nine months. She wondered how she was going to deal with any of it. She tried to shut it all out as she drove, but it was hard, especially since Garett tried to call her three times.

  She ignored him, and vowed to herself that she wouldn’t answer his calls until she knew what she was going to say to him. She wondered exactly when that would be though, as she pulled into the rundown motel where she’d made her reservation.

  Garett

  When Acasia continued to ignore his phone calls, he knew something was up. Not answering her phone once or twice would have been normal, because his beautiful girlfriend did have a life of her own and was sometimes too busy to answer of course. But after his call went straight to voicemail for the third time, he knew that she was ignoring him.

  He wondered what he had done wrong. He had wanted to tell Acasia that he loved her for weeks now, but he was unsure of how she would take the words. The last thing that he wanted to do was scare her when things seemed to be going so well for them. He had known that she’d wanted to run from her feelings for him before, and it had made him proceed even more cautiously with her, though he supposed making love to her two weeks after their first date hadn’t exactly been cautious. Nothing had ever felt more right though. Making love to Acasia was like no other feeling in the world. He could no longer imagine the rest of his life without her, the mere thought of it made him sick to his stomach.

  He racked his brain, going over their last few dates over and over again in his mind until it threatened to drive him crazy. He wished for the thousandth time that Elden Brown were still alive, and wondered if he should call his mother or Acasia’s mother for advice. But he didn’t want to bother Heather Brown and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to admit to his mother that he may have already screwed things up irrevocably with the woman that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

  He had found himself wandering into a jewelry store when he’d been at the mall the other day, feeling like an idiot as he checked out the selection of engagement rings. He had found a ring that he’d thought Acasia would love though and had been tempted to buy it. The price tag had made him pause a little, but she was worth every penny and he couldn’t imagine a more beautiful sight than the promise of marriage on her finger. He had imagined her wearing nothing else, and he knew that his face had been red when the salesgirl had asked him if he’d needed help. He had shook his head at her and left the store, hoping that the news that he had been looking at jewelry wouldn’t be flying around town the next day.

  Luckily it hadn’t, but he had been tempted to go back to the store, had actually transferred the money that he would need to purchase the ring from his savings to his checking account. But then he’d been so damned worried that she would refuse him, especially since he hadn’t told her he loved her, and had decided to wait on buying the ring. And now he was afraid that he’d lost her. The thought of losing her almost made him want to cry, and he felt like an even bigger moron.

  He was tempted to call Gavin for advice, but then he figured that Jay would probably be the better one to ask for relationship advice since he was the one with the picture perfect marriage. He dialed Jay’s number with a chuckle, thinking that it was no wonder that Gavin had always been afraid to fall in love.

  When Jay answered the phone, Garett could hear his niece wailing in the background. “Hey Gar. Can you hold on a sec? The little princess is screaming like the world is going to end.”

  “Sure.”

  Garett wondered why Nikki wasn’t attending to Sammi, but then figured she was out or something. Jay had always been a hands on father anyway, never shying away from any of his fatherly duties, no matter how unappealing they may seem.

  Jay returned several minutes later. “Sorry about that. My daughter can be very demanding. I dread to think what she’ll be like as a teenager.”

  Garett chuckled. “Yeah. Jay, can I talk to you about something?”

  “Sure little bro. What’s up?”

  “I think I screwed up. Acasia seems to be avoiding me.”

  “Women are tricky. Maybe she just needs some time to herself. Maybe she’s got something on her mind.”

  “But why wouldn’t she talk to me about it? Doesn’t Nikki talk to you when she has something on her mind?”

  Jay sighed. “Nikki is different than her sisters. She keeps everything locked up inside. It drives me crazy. I’ll know that she’s hurting or bothered over something, but she won’t talk to me until it’s threatening to eat her up inside.”

  “It sucks when your woman is hurting and she won’t tell you why.”

  Jay sighed again. Garett had begun to wonder if there wasn’t something going on with him and Nikki, but he figured that if Jay wanted to talk to him about it, he would. “Yes, it certainly does. I thought that things had been going really well for you and Acasia. What makes you think she’s avoiding you?”

  “She won’t answer my phone calls. I love her Jay. The thought of being without her makes me sick. Being with her feels so right. I’m in so deep already. It scares the shit out of me.”

  “Nothing to be scared of bro. Falling in love is supposed to be a good thing. And you couldn’t have chosen a better woman than Acasia. Things will work themselves out. Just give her some time.”

  “But what if she’s decided that she doesn’t want to be with me?”

  “Gar, you’re overreacting. I’m sure that Acasia just has something on her mind and she’s having a hard time figuring out how to bring it up to you. Have you told her you love her?”

  “No. I want to, but I don’t want to scare her. She tried to hide her feelings for me. She tried to run away from me before. I already picked out the engagement ring that I want to buy for her.”

  Jay chuckled. “You are in deep little brother.”

  “How did you know that Nikki was the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?”

  His brother was quiet for a moment, leading him to believe again that something was up with him and Nikki.

  “I’ve known since I was thirteen that Nikki was the one for me. But life gets in the way sometimes you know? If you love Acasia, tell her. You’ll regret it if you don’t, just ask Gavin.”

  “You know about hi
m and Demi too?”

  “Of course I do. You would have had to have been blind not to see it. Even Acasia saw it back then. She just never wanted to admit it to herself. If things are meant to be with you and Acasia, it will work out.”

  Garett was tempted to question his brother about Nikki again, but again, he realized that if Jay wanted to talk about whatever was going on, he would. “I suppose. I guess I should probably hold off on buying the engagement ring huh?”

  Jay chuckled. “That might be a good idea. Have you talked to Gavin lately?”

  “He’s going crazy over Demi. Shit, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that he’s still in love with her.”

  “I knew he ran away from her. I thought it was Acasia he was running away from at first, but then I realized that it couldn’t have been her. Everyone expected them to get married, then Gavin dumped her and next thing you know he’s leaving town. Nikki saw them together the night he left. It wasn’t until years later that she told me though. She wants to protect Demi just as much as Acasia does.”

  “Demi isn’t as vulnerable as everyone thinks she is. She’s got a strength that none of us saw.”

  “People see what they choose to see. Gavin isn’t who everyone thinks he is either. He never was. I always knew that he felt like the black sheep. I think he screwed things up on purpose because he was afraid he would never live up to Dad’s standards. The fact that Mom and Dad almost broke up scares him, makes him afraid that if their marriage can almost fail that he’ll never be good enough to make it work with a woman, especially one he cares about as much as he cares about Demi.”

  “You know about that too huh? I thought I was the only one.”

  “Nah, Mom told me right before Nikki and I got married. I think she wanted me to understand that no marriage is perfect, no matter how good it looks from the outside looking in.” Sammi’s sudden wailing cut in then, and Jay sighed. “I have to go Gar. She’s teething and she is miserable. Tell Gavin to call me if you talk to him again. Things will work out with you and Acasia. I love you little brother.”