Key To My Heart: Stay

by Misty Reigenborn

  Nikki laughed. “Why do you think Jay and I moved away? We were running away in a way too, because we wanted kids, and even though both the Blacks and our parents did a fine job of raising us, we knew if we stuck around that they were going to try to tell us how to raise our children. And we never wanted that. Not that their advice isn’t well meaning, but unwanted advice is still unwanted advice, no matter who offers it.”

  “True. You should come home for a visit sis. Demi’s baby is going to be born soon.”

  “I’d love to see you all. And no one has seen Sammi in person yet besides Gavin. I will think about it. Maybe I can work something out with Jay.”

  “Do you want to work things out with Jay? I mean really work things out with him?”

  “Of course I do. He’s my best friend, my husband and the father of my child. But I’m worried that even if he thinks he can forgive me and learn to trust me again, that eventually he’ll look at me and realize that he can’t and that he made a mistake asking me to come home.”

  “That’s my sister, always worrying about everyone else before herself. Let Jay make the decision himself as to whether or not he can forgive you. You haven’t forgiven yourself have you?”

  “I certainly wasn’t worrying about anyone but myself when I had an affair, I even dragged my daughter into it. All of that plus the fact that I know how much I hurt Jay, well, it makes it even harder to forgive myself.”

  “Granted, maybe you didn’t make the right choices when it came to thinking of yourself, but you do have to think of yourself every once in a while Nikki. You have always been way too hard on yourself.”

  “Even if that’s true, it’s just an excuse. And there is no excuse for what I’ve done.”

  “Maybe not, but you’re not doing anyone any good by continuing to torture yourself. You can’t take back what you’ve done. But I know that if you could, you would. Jay knows that too. It’s easier to forgive someone when you know that they’re truly remorseful for what they’ve done. Go home Nikki. Your daughter needs you.”

  “She deserves better than a mother who would put her in danger.”

  “Stop it Nikki. The last thing you would ever do is to purposefully put your daughter in harm’s way. You’re a good person sis. And I know that you’re a good mother. Maybe you haven’t been the best wife lately, but you have the rest of your life to make it up to him. I’m pretty sure Jay meant every words of your marriage vows too.”

  “But what if I make another mistake?”

  “Everyone makes mistakes. Take the lessons they gave you and move on. Please sis. I can’t stand the thought that you’re going through all of this alone.”

  “Why should I expect Jay to support me? That’s nowhere near fair to him.”

  “Damn Nikki, you’d think that you still thought that life was fair. If you still want to be with Jay, just tell him. And then let him make his own decisions about how he feels about you. And accept them dammit.”

  Nikki laughed. “You make it sound so easy.”

  “It is easy. Call your husband and tell him how you feel. Listen to what he wants, and if he wants you to go home, then go. Take everything else one step at a time, but remember to breathe every once in a while, and remember that you’re not perfect and that no one really expects you to be.”

  “Sometimes I wonder.”

  “Yeah, sometimes I wonder if Mom doesn’t expect us to be perfect too, but someday she will realize that not one of us ever were or ever will be perfect.”

  “I certainly hope so. But I guess she’s always seemed so close to perfect herself that she always expected us to be perfect too.”

  Acasia snorted. “Our mother is far from perfect. She’s one of the strongest people I know, but she’s not ever going to give up on playing Mom even when we don’t need or want her to. I’ll always need her, but it feels a lot different once you’re grown than it does when you’re a kid.”

  “Yeah it does. I can’t stand the thought that I failed my daughter.”

  “You didn’t fail her. Someday she’ll understand that you’re only human and that you make mistakes like everyone else.”

  “I just wish that I hadn’t made such a big mistake.”

  “I know sis. I know.”

  Acasia yawned.

  “I should let you get your pregnant butt to bed.”

  Acasia laughed. “That does sound like a good idea. Being pregnant is exhausting.”

  “Yes it is. I love you Acasia. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “I love you too Nikki. You’d better call me again soon.”

  “I will. I guess I have to face calling Mom and explaining to her too.”

  “Yep, gonna have to face the music little sis. Just get it over with.”

  “I’ll call her in the morning.”

  “Call Jay too.”

  “I will. Goodnight Acasia.”

  “Night Nikki.”

  She felt a lot better after talking to her sister, and she hoped that things worked out between Nikki and Jay, even with whatever that meant for them at this point. She yawned again and it hit her how tired she really was. The shower shut off and Garett soon joined her in the bedroom. She explained the basics of what was going on, and then since they had both yawned quite frequently during their conversation, they decided that it was time to get some sleep.

  Garett

  Garett called his brother first thing in the morning. Gavin hadn’t yet returned and it wasn’t going to be fun explaining to their father why his brother wasn’t going to show up for work that day, but he knew that he was going to have to do it. He knew that Jay and Nikki were going to have to give their parents an explanation now too, and he hoped that their explanation was enough to prevent the intervention he had seen coming for a while now. He wasn’t sure that it would, but at least they had an idea of what was going on now, and he knew that both he and Acasia would do anything they could to help their siblings.

  His father wasn’t happy about Gavin not coming in to work, and Garett knew that he was going to have to do the work of two men that day, but he didn’t mind. He was proud of his brother for going to Nikki’s aid, and he saw it as another sign of Gavin’s turning over a new leaf.

  They had dinner at his parents’ house that night, and naturally Jay and Nikki were the main topic of conversation. His mother had been on the phone with Heather Brown on and off for most of the day, and they were planning a trip to see Jay and Nikki the next weekend. His father had tried to talk them out of it, especially since Demi was very close to her due date now, but there was no talking the two stubborn women out of their decision; to them the trip might as well have been set in stone.

  Acasia decided that she wanted to go with them, and she was far away enough from her own due date for travel not to be a problem, so their mothers readily agreed. His father told him that if he wanted to go along that he would have to make sure that Gavin was guaranteed to be at work that day, and since Gavin owed him one for covering for him that day, he was sure that his brother would agree.

  He found himself looking forward to the trip. He hadn’t seen Jay in a while, and he was definitely ready to see his beautiful niece in person. He also figured that it would be a good idea for him and Acasia to go along to try and protect Jay and Nikki from the wrath of their mothers as much as they could.

  Acasia

  Acasia was looking forward to the trip too. It would be good to see her sister, especially after she had gone through so much by herself. She wanted to be there for Nikki, wanted her sister to know that she could talk to her. She also wanted very much to see her niece in person. She wished Demi was able to go with them, but her sister was too close to her due date to travel very far, and even three hours was too much. She just hoped that Demi didn’t go into labor while they were gone, something that Jed Black had cautioned them all on before the trip had been cemented at dinner.

  It was a busy week, and the weekend was there before they knew it. They were leaving early in the
morning, and Garett’s truck was packed by the time she got out of bed with beverages, snacks and various things to make the trip more comfortable for her. He was so thoughtful that she thought she loved him more every day.

  They had breakfast, and by the time they had finished the dishes, their mothers had arrived. The two women had insisted on taking separate cars for a reason unknown to Acasia, and she had a feeling they were going to look rather comical driving caravan style to visit Nikki and Jay, but all in all she thought that it was going to be a good trip.

  They arrived at Nikki and Jay’s around 11 a.m. She was thrilled when Nikki answered the door with an adorable Sammi in tow. Her sister looked tired, but she was home and she was smiling, so Acasia took it as a good sign.

  Alisa made a beeline for Jay, and Garett shook his head at her behind his mother’s back. Her mother seemed more concerned with getting to know Sammi for the moment, but she was sure that it wouldn’t be long before she pulled Nikki aside for a private chat as well.

  They had a buffet style lunch at a nice restaurant. The conversation was a little strained at first, but Heather and Alisa seemed to have calmed down some, no longer convinced that the union of their daughter and son was in imminent danger. Gavin had told them that Nikki had moved back home, but of course it hadn’t been enough to convince the mothers not to make the trip.

  Heather and Alisa were trying to convince Nikki and Jay to let them take Sammi back to Clinton for a few days, but neither of them seemed too keen on the idea. Acasia wondered if she would be able to talk her sister into letting her and Garett take the baby since they certainly needed practice caring for an infant, and she mentioned the idea to her fiancé.

  Garett liked the idea, though he was concerned that she might wear herself out caring for their niece. She was a little worried too, but she figured that they could use all the help they could get where parenting was concerned, and they agreed to talk to their siblings after dinner, away from their watchful mothers if at all possible.

  Heather and Alisa wanted to make a stop at a baby store, and it felt to Acasia as if they wandered around the store for hours. She could feel her ankles starting to swell, and Garett led her to a bench outside the store in the outer part of the mall, and insisted that she get off of her feet for a while. She was eternally grateful and quite content to sit in silence with him on the bench, her head on his shoulder. She was half asleep when her mother abruptly departed the store, arms filled with shopping bags.

  “Your sister had the baby.”

  “Demi had the baby?”

  “Yes dear. It’s time to go home.”

  “But. . .”

  “Nikki and Jay are coming along to see the baby and for a short visit.”

  “Okay. Who’s at the hospital with Demi?”

  She could see that her mother was trying hard not to make a face of disgust. “Gavin.”

  Garett was hiding a smile. “Okay. Where’s Nikki? There’s something that I need to ask her.”

  “She’s still in the store. I’m going to go load up the car. I can’t believe we missed the baby being born.”

  “I’m sure she did just fine Mom.”

  “Of course she did. That’s not what I’m concerned about.”

  Her mother turned and headed towards the exit without another word.

  Garett chuckled. “I guess your mom still isn’t too thrilled about Demi and Gavin huh?”

  Acasia shrugged. “Demi is a grown woman. Mom likes Gavin. She doesn’t like the idea of Gavin and Demi together.”

  “Yeah. Why don’t you go out to the truck babe? I’ll go find Jay and Nikki and bring it up to them about us watching Sammi.”

  “Thank you.”

  He handed her the truck keys and gave her a brief kiss, then turned and headed back to the store.

  Her mother was standing next to her car, tapping her foot when she neared the truck. Acasia hid a smile.

  “Are they almost through in the store? I’d like to get back.”

  “I think so Mom. And it’s not like a few minutes are going to matter if she already had the baby. How is she?”

  “Your sister and the baby are both doing well. I will be at the birth of your child Acasia. This is the second time I’ve missed the birth of my grandchild.”

  “I know that you wanted to be there Mom, but. . .”

  “Yes Acasia?”

  “Never mind Mom.”

  Heather sighed. “I know that your sister is in love with Gavin. She fancied herself to love him long before she knew what love really was.”

  “Daddy would have been happy to see them together.”

  “I suppose he would have.”

  The rest of their party had come out of the mall exit, so they got into their separate cars, and after a brief stop at Nikki and Jay’s they were on the road. Their siblings had agreed to let them watch Sammi, so they strapped the car seat into the truck, and they set out to head back home.

  The trip went without a hitch until about halfway through when Acasia received a panicked call from her mother. Nikki and Jay’s van had broken out of the caravan at some point, and neither of them were answering their cell phones. Though she was sure that her mother was overreacting, and that her sister and brother-in-law had probably just stopped to use the restroom, they all turned around and back tracked. And ended up coming upon Nikki and Jay emerging from the backseat of their van at a rest stop a few miles back on the road.

  She tried not to laugh at the expressions on the faces of her mother and future mother-in-law when they spied their children, but it was hard not to. Her mother looked almost shocked, but she could see that Alisa was amused. Nikki and Jay had both turned scarlet, and she could tell that Garett was trying hard not to laugh as well.

  Her mother shook her head and got back in her car, muttering something under her breath. As soon as they were back in the truck, Acasia burst out laughing, which made Garett laugh. They laughed so long and so hard that they woke the baby up, but luckily she calmed down and went back to sleep shortly after.

  They arrived back in Clinton a little before 6 p.m. and Garett took Sammi to their house while she went to the hospital with her mother. Nikki and Jay headed to the Blacks with Alisa, not wanting to overwhelm Demi with too many visitors all at once.

  They had Demi’s room number, so they headed straight to the second floor and almost interrupted what Acasia could see had become a private moment between her sister and Gavin. It looked as if he were going to kiss her until their mother cleared her throat and said Demi’s name.

  Her sister’s eyes flew open and Acasia could see that a blush had risen to her cheeks. Gavin stood up from the table where the two had obviously been sharing a meal, and moved to a chair by the window, looking more than a little uncomfortable.

  Heather kissed Demi’s cheek. “I’m sorry we weren’t here for you sweetheart.” She then turned to Gavin, giving him a look that Acasia couldn’t read. “Thank you for taking care of my little girl.”

  Gavin nodded, and Acasia decided to save him from saying anything.

  “Demi.”

  She embraced her gently, conscious of her own growing belly and the probable tenderness of her sister’s. “I wish I could have been here with you.”

  Demi let out a forced laugh. “I’m sure that giving birth isn’t a pretty picture. Probably not something you want to see when you’re so close to giving birth yourself.”

  Acasia rolled her eyes good naturedly and turned to Gavin. “Thank you for taking care of her for us Gavin.”

  He shrugged. “I wanted to. Dem, I’m gonna go get some fresh air okay? I’ll be back soon.”

  All three women watched him leave the room. Nikki was now in the arms of her grandmother who had settled into the rocking chair.

  “Another beautiful Nikki.” She smiled down at the little girl.

  “Mom,” Demi said.

  “Yes honey?”

  “Please don’t feel like you need to chase Gavin out of here. He
didn’t have to bring me here, and he certainly didn’t have to stay with me.”

  Heather sighed. “I know darling. But even if he has changed, I’m still not convinced that Gavin Black is the right man for you.”

  “Didn’t you tell me that your parents were never convinced that Daddy was the right man for you?”

  “Yes. But Demi, you’re so. . .”

  “I’m so what Mom? I’m not a little girl anymore. And now that I have a child of my own, I definitely have to be able to stand on my own two feet, be my own woman. And if Gavin is the man that I want to be with, you’re going to have to learn to deal with it.”

  Heather stayed silent. Demi’s words didn’t exactly surprise Acasia, but she was proud that her sister had spoken her mind. It made her feel more than a little guilty that she hadn’t been supportive of her sister’s choices.

  Gavin returned and saved Heather from saying anything further. A look passed between him and Demi, and Acasia was sure that her sister had come to the decision that Gavin was the man that she wanted to be with. And she was going to do the best she could to be supportive of that choice from now on.

  They had a nice visit, then Nikki and Jay arrived to take their turn to visit with Demi and the baby, and she returned home to help Garett care for Sammi.

  Garett

  Caring for his niece was certainly interesting, and especially so without Acasia around to help. But he knew that it was something that he would have to get used to. He didn’t want to be the kind of father that the mother of his child didn’t feel comfortable leaving their child alone with. He knew that he couldn’t do everything that Acasia would since she planned to breastfeed for the first six weeks until she went to work for Black and Sons, but he felt as if he could do everything else. Or at least he was willing to try.