by Jenni Wilder
I looked up at him, and we stared at each other for a long moment. I loved just being near him. He made me feel warm and content, and he drowned out the negative, busy thoughts that were constantly buzzing in my head. I had never experienced this with a man before, nor had I ever expected a man to tell me I was beautiful. Once again, I felt a twinge of guilt over what I was still hiding from him. I was taking joy in him calling me beautiful when I knew fair well that I was anything but.
“Why so sad, Princess?” Lincoln asked as he brushed my hair back from my face.
I panicked. “I was just thinking I should go home soon,” I lied and snuggled closer to him.
Lincoln frowned and tightened his arms around me. “Doesn’t seem like you want to leave.”
“I don’t. Do you have a game tomorrow?”
“Yeah, it’s a home game, though. I don’t have to be at the rink until noon,” Lincoln informed me. I wondered if he meant I should stay overnight. I tensed and leaned away from him, pressing my back into the cushion of the couch. As much as I enjoyed being around him, I needed a little space. I didn’t want to fall too fast.
Lincoln smiled and rubbed my back as if he knew what I was thinking. He sighed and sat up on the couch, taking me with him. “Okay. I’ll take you home.”
The house was dark when we pulled up in front of it. I doubted Rebecca was in bed, though. I was sure she was waiting up for me, wanting to know what happened. Lincoln hopped out and met me on the passenger side of the vehicle. He grabbed my hand and walked me up to the front porch. “Did you say you have dinner plans tomorrow?” Lincoln asked, turning to face me and sounding sad.
“Yeah. My mom and brother and sister usually come over every Sunday for dinner,” I informed him.
“Every Sunday?” Lincoln asked sounding surprised.
“Just about. Sometimes Rebecca and Elliot have to work,” I answered. It was a tradition. Unless you were sick or had to work, you attended family dinner on Sunday nights.
“Will you call me once you are free after dinner?”
“Absolutely,” I replied and was rewarded with a giant smile.
“Will you watch the game?”
I nodded. “I hope you win.”
Another big smile. “I hope so too.”
“Stay safe.”
“I will. I’ll miss you.” Lincoln leaned toward me. I brought my hand up and caressed his cheek, looking deep into his eyes. I could hardly believe that he would miss me, but yet I would miss him as well. He leaned down as I stood on my tiptoes, and we kissed briefly yet deeply.
“I’ll miss you too,” I said once we broke apart. Lincoln smiled and gave me another quick kiss before walking back to his vehicle. I unlocked the door and opened it, looking back to see Lincoln watching me to make sure I got inside okay. I waved at him and closed the door behind me, leaning against it and smiling big until a shadow jumped out at me causing me to scream.
“Tell me everything!” Rebecca shouted at me.
“Oh my God! Becca! You scared the crap out of me!” I exclaimed, holding my hand against my pounding heart. “I hope Lincoln didn’t hear me scream.” I peeked out the window, but he had already driven away.
“JILLY! TELL ME!” Rebecca shook my shoulders.
“All right. All right. Just let me set my stuff down first,” I relented and made my way into the living room with my sister hot on my heels.
~~~~~~~~
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I put my glasses on and grabbed my phone from my nightstand next to my bed and saw a text from Lincoln.
“Good morning my beautiful princess. Sleep well?” Oh God. I could get used to this. I felt joy blossoming inside me. I bit my lip and tried to think of a good reply.
“I slept great. I dreamt of you.” I echoed what he had said the first morning he texted me.
“Liar. lol” he texted back, repeating my reply to him.
I figured he had already seen me in my pajamas, fresh out of bed, so I snapped a quick selfie and sent it to him with, “Who me? ;)”
“Love the glasses, baby,” Lincoln replied before my phone chimed again. “Seriously,” he added.
“Liar. :)”
“No, this time I’m not, baby. Have a great day. I’ll talk to you later?” Lincoln sent.
“*kiss*” I sent him and got up to see what Rebecca and Tabitha were up to.
~~~~~~~~
I watched as the game timer counted down to zero and the announcer proclaimed the Blackhawks had won the game. My heart soared, and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as Lincoln and his teammates mobbed each other on the ice in celebration. I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to Lincoln congratulating him.
“Why are you watching hockey?” Elliot asked me as he walked into the living room.
I quickly turned the TV off. “No reason.”
Elliot turned to the hall. “REBECCA! WHY IS JILLIAN WATCHING HOCKEY?!” he shouted.
“Elliot!” I hissed quietly. “Mom will hear you!”
“Well then, tell me.”
“What’s going on?” our sister Emily asked while walking in to the living room with Rebecca and our mother.
“Dammit, Elliot,” I said quietly since Tabitha was lying on the floor in front of the TV, coloring with crayons.
“Why is Jillian watching hockey?” Elliot asked Rebecca.
“It’s because of Mr. Lincoln,” Tabitha said from the floor, and I gasped. Apparently Tabitha was more observant than I had given her credit for.
“Mr. Lincoln?” Emily asked, confused.
“He likes waffles too,” Tabitha said simply.
All eyes in the room turned to me.
“Jillian?” Elliot prompted.
I let out a frustrated sigh. This was going to open a can of worms.
“Lincoln Monaghan.” I finally admitted. Emily gasped, and her eyebrows flew up. Elliot looked confused and concerned.
“How does Tabitha know Lincoln Monaghan likes waffles, Jillian?” Elliott asked pointedly. I looked at Rebecca for help, but she just stood there with a shit-eating grin on her face.
“Gotta tell them at some point, Jilly Bean,” Rebecca finally said.
I let out another frustrated sigh. “We met at the Razzle Dazzle parade and we’ve seen each other a couple of times since.”
Emily gasped again, this time with a smile on her face. “Oh my God, Jillian. He’s so hot!” she said in awe.
“Is this who you had a date with yesterday?” Elliot asked me, interrupting Emily’s swooning. I nodded in reply. “I thought you said he was dating that bitch.” He sounded upset.
“Elliot!” Rebecca scolded him for swearing in front of Tabitha.
“Sorry,” he said to Rebecca before turning to Tabitha. “Sorry, kiddo. Don’t listen to me.”
“I don’t,” Tabitha said, and everyone chuckled.
“Well?” Elliot prompted.
“No, he’s not dating her. It was a misunderstanding,”
“And you approve of this?” he asked Rebecca. He was in full protective-brother mode now.
“He seems nice, Elliot. Cut them some slack,” Rebecca said.
“Some slack?” Elliot repeated. “He’s a professional athlete, Becca, and a senator’s son. That’s bad news.”
“He’s not like that!” I said, defending Lincoln.
“You’ve only known him for four days! Guys like that date bikini models and beauty pageant queens, Jillian,” Elliot spewed out, and I heard Rebecca and Emily gasp loudly. Elliot was implying I wasn’t good enough to date Lincoln because of my ugly scars. I stood with my arms crossed protectively over my chest and stared at the ground. I couldn’t think of anything to say to defend myself. I knew my brother was right.
“Jillian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” Elliot began but was interrupted.
“May I please speak with Jillian alone?” our mother spoke for the first time. After our father died, our mother had been left alone to deal with a houseful of kid
s, and she had laid down the law. She instilled a good sense of morals in all of us and expected we would grow to be productive members of society, and nothing less would be accepted.
My siblings and niece left the room. Emily squeezed my arm as she passed me and gave a supportive smile. When it was only my mother and me left in the room, she sat on the sofa and held her arms open. I smiled and crawled into my mother’s lap and snuggled into her arms. The last time my mother held me like this was after Mackenzie’s evil plot had sent me fleeing home. I had cried for days after I discovered everyone on campus had been given pictures of my ugly naked body. But the only thing my mother could do then was hold me. There had been no words of comfort other than “this too shall pass.”
My mother squeezed me tight, and I nuzzled my head into her shoulder. “So tell me about him, my Jilly Bean,” she said.
I smiled and admitted to my mother that I didn’t know a whole lot about him, but what I did know I liked. I explained about his family and told her what happened at the Winter Festival and afterward at Lincoln’s house.
“He seems nice, Mom. I know in the past I haven’t been the best judge of people, but he really does seem nice. And Rebecca likes him,” I said, ending my defense.
“Jillian. Jillian. I’m not going to judge you for wanting to be with him,” she said.
“You’re not?”
“No. You’re an adult. That awful girl hurt you in the past, but tell me, do you think Lincoln would do that?”
When she put it that way, the answer was easy. I didn’t think Lincoln was capable of something that atrocious.
“No. I don’t think he’d do anything to hurt me. But we’re from different worlds. He’s so far out of my league it’s not even funny. Even Elliot knows that,” I said sadly.
“Jillian, Elliot is just trying to protect you. He’s your brother.”
“No. Elliot is just telling the truth. I’m not good enough for Lincoln.”
“Jillian Paige Thompson,” she said sounding upset. “Why would you say that?”
I shrugged. “It’s the truth, Mom.”
She sighed. “I’m assuming you haven’t told him about the fire.”
“He knows that’s how Dad died. But he doesn’t know about my scars.”
“Is that why you think you don’t deserve him? Because of your scars?” I nodded. “Jillian, you have to let someone in at some point. I know you closed yourself off from everyone, but you can’t live like that. If this guy is as great as you say, he won’t care.” She squeezed me tight. “Don’t live in your grief.”
I sighed. “That’s what Becca said too.”
She kissed my forehead. “Well, she’s a smart girl. Just like you.” I smiled and snuggled deeper into her shoulder.
Chapter Nine
I checked my phone after my brother, sister, and mother left. Lincoln had texted me back. “Thanks Princess. It was a great game. Can’t wait to talk to you later. Have a good dinner.”
I looked at the time and hit the call button. It rang once and Lincoln answered. “Hi. how was dinner?”
I smiled. I had tried not to let him consume my thoughts all day, but I was excited to finally talk to him again. “It was okay. How was the game?” I replied.
“It was great. Why was dinner just okay?” He sounded concerned.
“Oh, my family was asking about you. That’s all.”
“What did you tell them?”
“Just that we had been spending time together. Elliot said you’re out of my league, and my mom got worried.”
“Your brother said what?”
“It’s okay. I mean I already knew that.” There was a long pause. “Lincoln?”
“I’m coming over.” he said.
“What? Now?”
“Yes, now. I’ll be there in a half hour.” And with that, he hung up the phone.
“Rebecca!” I called out and ran to the kitchen to tell my sister what was happening.
Lincoln knocked on our front door twenty-five minutes later. I answered it, and he immediately pulled me into a deep embrace. He pulled back after a moment and brought his face to mine and kissed me quickly.
“Hello there,” I said to him as he pulled away from me to take off his coat. He smiled and returned the greeting.
“Rebecca and Tabitha asleep?” he asked.
“Yeah. Back to school for Tabitha tomorrow.” My niece had been off from school for over a week due to the holidays.
Lincoln took my hand and pulled me to the sofa that had just been occupied by my mother. “Now, tell me what your brother said,” he demanded once we were both sitting on the sofa. He had brought a knee up and angled his body toward me. I sat cross-legged on the middle cushion, facing him.
“He didn’t mean anything by it, Lincoln. He just doesn’t want me to get hurt,” I explained, defending my brother. I didn’t want Lincoln to dislike him.
“And he thinks I’ll hurt you?” he asked, sadly.
“He’s just being a protective brother. I haven’t dated much… or at all, really. And after what happened with Mackenzie, he thinks I’m not the best judge of character.”
“That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said and squeezed my hand.
“I know. Like I said—he’s just worried.”
“Okay, I can understand him worrying about his sister. I’ll give him a break there. But Jillian…” Lincoln paused and cupped my face with his hand, looking deep into my eyes. “You are the one that is out of my league. You are amazing.”
I blushed and shook my head, my face brushing against his hand. “You drove all the way over here to tell me that?” That seemed a little excessive.
“I’d drive anywhere to tell you that if you need to hear it. I’ll tell you everyday if you want me to,” Lincoln said sweetly.
“You sure are the sweet-talker, aren’t ya?” I tried to lighten the mood. He was so serious when he was like this. I thought it was too soon for him to feel this way.
“Jillian. You are amazing. That’s not sweet talk. That’s the truth,” Lincoln said, and I hoped he couldn’t see the disbelief in my eyes. No one had ever said these things to me.
A little voice of doubt filled my mind, telling me if he knew what I was hiding he wouldn’t feel the same, and again I was filled with guilt. But I didn’t want to worry about those feelings now. I pushed myself up on my knees and leaned forward to kiss him. This is what I wanted to feel now. Lincoln grabbed the back of my head and held me to him as our mouths moved together. I wanted to move one leg over him and straddle his lap so I could kiss him at a better angle, but I thought that would be too intimate, so I stayed where I was and enjoyed how he tasted and the way his lips and tongue felt against mine. I whimpered slightly as my emotions overcame me, and Lincoln grabbed my shoulders but surprised me by pushing me back slightly, breaking the kiss.
“Hmm… what time do you have to work tomorrow?” he asked.
I licked my lips and sat back on my legs, trying to clear the fog in my brain. “Um…six?”
“SIX A.M.?!?” Lincoln sounded shocked and offended. “You work at six in the morning every day?”
“Yeah… some of us have to work normal hours. We can’t all be hockey players,” I teased and Lincoln growled.
“Normal hours are like, nine to five. Not six in the morning,” Lincoln complained.
“Actually, I usually get up around four thirty if I want to be at work by six,” I clarified, and Lincoln groaned. “Not a morning person I take it?” I asked him while laughing.
“No. Not at all. Why do you go in so early?”
“Well, if I go in that early I can be home by the time Tabitha gets off the bus. If Rebecca is working, someone needs to be here,” I explained, and Lincoln was quiet. “It’s only for this semester. We’ll see what happens after I graduate,” I added, hoping he didn’t find my early morning routine too offensive.
Lincoln grabbed my hips and pulled me so I was sitting across his lap. “Wha
t about your mom?”
“What about her? She works too,” I said with a shrug. My mother had become the sole breadwinner in the family after my father died. She had a good job and now that all her children were grown she could look forward to retirement, but I thought that was probably still a few years away.
Lincoln ran his hand down my hair. “This is what I mean when I say you are amazing. You put everyone before yourself.”
I shook my head. “You’d do the same for Ben and Madison.”
“Hmm…not at six in the morning,” Lincoln said with a chuckle, and I laughed.
“Do you have a game tomorrow?” I changed the subject and snuggled into his chest.
“No. I should give you my itinerary so you know when our games and flight times are.”
“Mm… that sounds good,” I said absentmindedly. He was holding me close and had started rubbing small circles on my back.
“Are you tired?” he asked softly.
“A little bit. But this is nice,” I admitted. I didn’t want to move from this spot.
“Can I come over tomorrow after you get off work?”
“I have to watch Tabitha.”
“Can I watch her with you?”
I smiled. I was worried he was going to burn out on me, but I was done trying to push him away.
“Yeah. I’ll even cook you dinner,” I said, looking up and giving him a peck on the lips.
“Mm… now you’re talking,” Lincoln said with a smile and kissed me back.
Chapter Ten
I sent a quick text to Rebecca as I got off work to make sure it was okay with her if Lincoln came over to watch Tabitha with me. My sister still had another three hours until she got off work at the earliest, but I knew she would be able to check her phone between patients.
I rushed out of work and to my car. I still needed to stop at the grocery store before I could go home. I wanted to make Lincoln something better than a meal out of a box, and I needed supplies. I managed to make it the quickest trip through the grocery store I ever had, throwing cans and containers into my basket without checking for bargains or if I had coupons. I needed to get in and out quickly and make it home before Tabitha’s bus beat me there. I pulled my car into the driveway with fifteen minutes to spare and mentally breathed a sigh of relief. I grabbed the grocery bags and ran into the house, being careful not to slip on the newly fallen snow. I set the groceries on the kitchen counter and pulled out my phone to text Lincoln only to discover he had already texted me.
