by Jenni Wilder
“They went home.”
“Oh,” I said as guilt blossomed in my chest. “I’ll have to apologize to her for ruining their outing.”
“Hey,” Lincoln said, calling me out of my pool of guilt. “You didn’t ruin anything, okay? Mackenzie ruined it. Even if you hadn’t run off, we would have left.”
“Why?” I asked dumbfounded. We had been having a lovely day.
“The press. Before coming up to us, Mackenzie tipped them off that we were there. They probably wouldn’t have done anything, but they would have been waiting. Salivating for some drama,” Lincoln said, disgusted.
“Oh,” I said. I couldn’t imagine that life. Having your daily activities monitored by someone just hoping you screw up big enough to have a story for the evening news? Yuck.
“Hey, it’s not all bad. They usually don’t know where we are unless someone tips them off,” Lincoln said. I think he was trying to ease my growing worry.
“Where are we going?” I asked when I realized we had left the city and were now driving on a secluded road that followed the shore of Lake Michigan.
“My house,” Lincoln said. I whipped my head around to look at him. He had taken his eyes off the road and was looking back at me. “If that’s okay?” he asked with uncertainty. And I nodded in reply. I didn’t know what I was going to do about telling him about my past, but I wanted to be with him. He squeezed my hand again and focused his attention back to the road.
We drove for a while longer in silence. Lincoln had made a few more turns on secluded roads surrounded by trees, and I doubted I’d ever find his place on my own. It wasn’t quite dark out yet, but I hadn’t seen any landmarks other than the shoreline, nor had I seen any houses. I had always heard homes surrounding Lake Michigan were expensive and extravagant, but I had never been in one.
When I was in high school, my senior class voted on what to do for our class trip. I had voted for a trip to a museum, but inevitably was overruled in favor of a boat cruise of Lake Michigan. I couldn’t prance around the boat in a bikini like the pretty popular girls, so I spent most of the day sitting at the back of the boat watching the scenery. I remembered being enthralled by the massive houses I could occasionally see through the trees on the shoreline, and I wondered who lived there. Well, now I know—rich, handsome, professional hockey players live there. I felt a twinge of anxiety and hoped that his house wasn’t too over-the-top.
Lincoln finally turned the car down a driveway and hit a button on what looked like a garage opener. He edged the vehicle forward slowly and I saw a black metal gate that had been across the road opening slowly. We drove for a short distance with trees on either side of the road until they eventually lessened and we arrived at a large, open meadow with a log cabin nestled into the woods at the far end. I could see water surrounding us on all sides except for behind us. I realized we were on a point that jutted out into the lake. I gasped and leaned forward to get a better view.
“Like it?” Lincoln asked, capturing my attention.
“This is your house?” I watched, astonished as we got closer and the house rose up in front of me.
“Yeah,” Lincoln said smiling. He pulled the car around and parked it in front of the log cabin. I got out of the vehicle and stared up at his house. It was built into the side of the hill, which made its size deceiving, at least from the front. It had a wraparound porch that extended to the back of the house, and I guessed from the outside it probably had five to six bedrooms. Dark green shingles topped the house, which made the beautiful honey-colored, knotted logs on the exterior stand out even more. It was a gorgeous house that was clearly elegant and expensive, yet it was understated and simple at the same time. I loved it.
I bit my lip to contain my smile. “Your name is Lincoln, and you live in a log cabin?”
Lincoln laughed loudly and grabbed my hand to guide me up the steps. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”
Chapter Eight
Lincoln took me on a partial tour of the house, ending in the backyard that ran down to the snow-covered beach. He showed me the main floor and the top floor, but we had yet to go through the bottom floor. I suspected that’s where his bedroom was; he had called the other four bedrooms in the house ‘guest rooms.’ I turned to look back at the house from the shore, and I admired the back wall. Glass panels ran all the way from the roof down to the ground, including the walk-out basement.
The porch from the front of the house had, in fact, wrapped around to the back like I suspected and opened up into a giant deck with a hot tub, fire pit, wet bar, and the nicest all-weather patio furniture I had ever seen.
The inside of the house was just as gorgeous as the outside. The living room on the main level was the center focus of the house. It was open and inviting with vaulted ceilings and a huge fireplace. It would be good for entertaining guests. I suspected at the right time of year sunsets would look amazing from that room.
The kitchen was off to the right of the main room. It was a good-size kitchen, but it wasn’t anything incredibly fancy. It fit in well with the cabin-style motif, and I loved the little green curtains with moose, bear, and wolf silhouettes that hung on the windows over the sink and the stove. It made it seem cozy while not pushing the affluence of the house down your throat. It was perfect.
To the left of the living room was a staircase that went upstairs. The second level had an open loft for the main room from which you could look down on everything that was happening on the main level. A hallway with four bedrooms jutted out from this main loft area. Two bedrooms faced the front of the house and had views of the woods, and two bedrooms faced the back of the house had incredible views of the lake and overlooked the deck area.
“Lincoln, your house is amazing,” I said as I stood on the beach.
“Thank you,” Lincoln said as he came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. “Can we talk?” he asked softly in my ear. The short hair on his chin tickled my neck as he spoke. I nodded and turned in his arms to look him in the eye. “I’m hoping, since you are here and not freaking out, this means you’re giving me a chance?” he asked, his voice full of hope. I looked down. I wasn’t sure if I was giving him a chance yet. He could still end up hurting me. “Why did you run?” he asked me quietly.
I hesitated. I couldn’t lie to myself any longer; I wanted to be around him. I knew he deserved answers, but I wanted to ask my questions first. “How do you know Mackenzie?” I asked, cautiously looking up at him. I had overheard what he had said to Rebecca, but I wanted to hear it from him.
I was still standing in the circle of his arms, and he tipped his forehead down to rest on mine, closing his eyes. “I was stupid. We went out a few times… I thought she was a good person.”
“Did you sleep with her?” I asked bluntly. This was one of my core fears. I was a twenty-four-year-old virgin, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be comfortable enough with myself to let a man see me naked. I never imagined there would be a man that would want to see me that way.
Lincoln exhaled. “Yes,” he admitted after a short pause.
“More than once?” I pressed.
“Yes,” Lincoln said sadly.
At least he was being honest, I thought. “Tell me what happened,” I demanded.
“What happened when? When we slept together?” Lincoln asked and recoiled from me.
“No! God, no. I don’t want to hear about that!” I exclaimed and Lincoln chuckled with relief. “Tell me what happened with her. How did you meet? How did you break up?”
Lincoln sighed and stepped back from me, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand while looking at the ground. “I wouldn’t say we ever actually dated. She approached me at a fundraising event. It was for kids with cancer. I should have known right away she was a terrible person. She didn’t care at all about making those kids feel better.” Lincoln’s head came up, and he looked me in the eye. “That’s how I knew you were different. Not
only are you beautiful, but you really cared about that little girl that fell down in the tent. You didn’t even care that your coat was ruined. Mackenzie would have freaked.”
“Do not compare me to that evil bitch. There’s a lot of shit Mackenzie would do that I never would,” I said with a fiery passion. I tried not to think of how depressed I had been after Mackenzie wreaked havoc in my life, but even though it was over five years ago, the pain of the memory still made me furious.
“I’m sorry,” he said, backtracking. “I meant it as a compliment. You are nothing like her.”
I nodded. At least he could see that much. “What happened then?” I asked.
“Are you cold? We should go inside,” he said, avoiding the question.
“Answer the question, Lincoln.”
He let out a frustrated growl. “We went on a few dates, and I was dumb enough to fall for her ‘good-girl-next-door’ routine. At least I realized she was using me before too much damage was done.”
I knew how it felt to be deceived by her. “You’re not dumb,” I said, trying to comfort him. “She’s a conniving wench.”
Lincoln cross his arms and switched to offense. “Now, how do you know her?”
I paused. I hated talking about this. But he had shared with me, so I tried to be open and honest. “She was my roommate freshman year.”
“You had to live with her for a year? You poor thing,” Lincoln said, halfway joking. But when I didn’t respond to his teasing, he asked, “What happened?”
“Well, let’s just say I wasn’t smart enough to get out before too much damage was done,” I said sadly, not wanting to remember.
Suddenly Lincoln was in front of me rubbing the tops of my arms in a comforting way. “What did she do?”
I didn’t know where to start. I never talked about those days. I hated myself for falling for Mackenzie’s evil ploy. “The first semester was okay. I honestly didn’t see her much to begin with. I knew full well she ran in a different circle than I did. But suddenly after Christmas break, she started inviting me to parties and to hang out with her friends.” I paused. I felt so stupid. “I knew she wasn’t the best person in the world. But I had no idea how evil she could be.”
Lincoln ran a hand down the side of my head. “Hey, it wasn’t your fault. Whatever happened.”
I shook my head. “I should have been smarter. I don’t know why I trusted her,” I said quietly. I inhaled deeply and began again. “I had told her I thought this guy I had seen in the cafeteria was cute. She invited me to a party and told me this guy was going to be there.”
“Jillian…,” Lincoln said, sounding distressed.
“She told me he was waiting for me in one of the bedrooms. I wasn’t going up there to sleep with him.” My eyes flashed to Lincoln’s. “I swear that’s not why I went up there. I just wanted to talk to him.” I desperately needed Lincoln to believe that.
“Jillian… did he rape you?” he asked quietly and wiped the tears away from my cheeks. I didn’t know I had been crying.
“No. No. He didn’t,” I said, shaking my head.
“Jillian, it’s okay.” he said, obviously not believing me.
“No, really. He didn’t,” I said truthfully. I tried to compose myself. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like he did. He wasn’t even there.”
Lincoln looked confused.
“Mackenzie and her bitch friends were waiting for me. I tried to turn the light on but nothing happened. I heard her laughing and her friends jumped me. They stole my clothes and called me names and took pictures of me.” I couldn’t continue.
“Baby,” Lincoln said and gathered me into his arms. He held me close, and I snuggled into his embrace, desperately wanting comfort.
“No one even told me she had sent the pictures to everyone on campus until I showed up for class on Monday.”
“God damn. No wonder you ran today.”
I nodded, glad he understood. “Yeah, she's not my favorite person. I’d rather not be around her. I’m sorry I didn’t answer my phone when you called, though. I thought you were involved with her, and I really don’t want anything to do with her.”
Lincoln pulled me back away from him to look me in the eyes. “Please don’t hold it against me that I was involved with her.”
“I don’t, Lincoln. It just takes a lot for me to trust anyone. I don’t have anyone other than my family,” I admitted.
“You have me, Princess.” Lincoln lowered his mouth to mine. I leaned forward and pressed into the kiss. He opened his mouth, coaxing me to open mine as well, and our tongues met and rubbed together.
I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his, moaning into his mouth. I ached to be desired, and Lincoln made me feel incredibly wanted and comforted. His hands made their way to the curves of my waist as he pulled me closer. We stood in the cold, wrapped around each other. I kissed him and let go of all the pain Mackenzie had caused me, and I felt maybe Lincoln was doing the same. He was trusting me, even though he had been burned. I wanted to do the same.
Lincoln broke the kiss and pulled back from me slightly. He looked at me adoringly. “Should we finished the tour?” he asked.
I nodded and squeezed his hand when Lincoln grabbed mine. We walked across the backyard up to the house, hand in hand. He guided me toward the side door of the lowest level, and when I walked into the house I saw we were now in a rec room of sorts.
“My man cave,” Lincoln said proudly while waving his arm out. There were two pool tables, a foosball table, a poker table with chairs, and a wet bar on one side. The other side had a sunken area that contained a long, lush brown leather couch and a love seat along with two ottomans, all facing the biggest flat-screen TV I had ever seen mounted on the wall. Hockey jerseys and memorabilia hung on the walls throughout the room.
“How stereotypical,” I said, teasing him.
He smiled. “Pretty much. But it’s every guy’s dream room. Come on.” He pulled me toward a door in the back on the middle sidewall. He opened it, and we walked into a bathroom. A giant Jacuzzi tub big enough for two people sat in one corner. There was a big marble shower next to it, and across from that were a two-sink vanity and mirror and the toilet next to that along with another door.
Lincoln only slightly paused in the bathroom before pulling me through the next door and into the largest bedroom I had ever seen. The back wall was made of the glass panels that ran all the way down the back of the house, and there was a giant bed in the middle of the opposite wall. It was the biggest bed I had ever seen. It looked so warm and inviting, covered in puffy blankets and pillows.
Various nightstands and a dresser were sprawled around the room against the walls in a functional manner, but I could not take my eyes off the back glass wall. I moved forward toward it. The sun had set by now, and I could barely see the frozen lake that spanned out in front of us.
I felt Lincoln come up behind me as I peered out. “Don’t you worry about privacy?”
“Constantly,” Lincoln answered. “But who’s going to see in here? We’re on a point on the end of the land. The only thing out there is the lake and a few woodland creatures.”
“But what about when you have parties? Your guests could see in.”
“Jillian, it’s not like I have wild keggers here. It’s usually just a few friends and Ken and Carter.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling dumb and Lincoln chuckled.
“Are you disappointed?” he asked, laughing.
“Oh no. I just assumed… “ He had the perfect setup for parties.
“You assumed I was a wild party animal?”
I nodded. “Sorry. You just hear about professional athletes, ya know,”
“Yeah. I can guarantee you that’s not me,” Lincoln said.
“Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought… “
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, interrupting me. He turned me away from the windows and held me against his chest. “I know we don’t
know each other very well, but I would really like the chance.”
I thought about what my sister had said. That it shouldn’t matter if I was terribly disfigured under my clothes. I felt as if I was lying to him by not telling him but it was too soon to reveal that secret. I looked up at him. His eyes were full of hope and desire. I didn’t know if I could do it, but I was going to try. I wanted to give him a chance. A chance to prove he wouldn’t hurt me. A chance to prove he was different from everyone else. A chance that maybe he wouldn’t be disgusted by my true self. It was a long shot, I knew, but I nodded and reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips.
He gave me a sweet smile. “We’re going to be great together, Princess. I can tell.”
Lincoln and I spent the rest of the evening together at his house. He grilled chicken on a little indoor electric grill, and I made roasted garlic potatoes and opened a bottle of wine. We exchanged simple caresses and tender looks throughout the whole evening. We talked and laughed about anything and everything, and I felt even more beguiled by him. It scared me how quickly my feelings for him were growing. After dinner, Lincoln fired up his movie-streaming program, and we snuggled on the love seat in the man cave while watching the latest action/adventure movie.
When the movie ended, I shifted against Lincoln. He had lain back on the couch, and I was essentially lying on top of him with my head on his hard, muscular chest. His arm wrapped around me, and his hand rested on the small of my back. After I assured myself my shirt and pants were properly covering my body, I lifted my head and looked up at him. His eyes were closed and his face was slack. He looked so peaceful. I shifted on top of him slowly and leaned over his face.
“Don’t start something if you’re not going to finish it,” Lincoln said with a smile, his eyes still closed.
I gasped. “I thought you were sleeping.”
Lincoln opened his eyes and smirked at me. “No. Just enjoying having a beautiful woman lie on me.”
I blushed and put my head back on his chest. Lincoln brought his arms up and hugged me, holding me to his chest. He shifted to his side, taking me with him so I was wedged between his chest and the back of the couch, his arms still around me.
