All of You

by Jenni Wilder

  “He’s a guy, Rebecca. They don’t analyze their feelings like girls do.”

  My sister just shrugged in reply.

  I looked down as my phone lit up, chimed, and vibrated all at once on my knee, and the screen displayed Lincoln’s picture and name. I swiped my finger across the screen and stood up. “Lincoln!” I exclaimed into the phone, holding it tightly against my ear.

  “Hey…” He sounded weak.

  “Are you okay?” I tried not to sound panicky, but I failed.

  “I’m all right. The doc said I just got the wind knocked out of me.”

  I sank to the floor. “Oh, thank God. No concussion?”

  “No. I didn’t hit my head. He was just going too fast when he hit me and I didn’t see him in time,” he said, sounding regretful.

  I sniffed into the phone. I was crying again. But this time it was from relief of my anxiety. My man was all right. “I was so worried.”

  “Are you crying?” Lincoln asked, sounding surprised.

  I sniffed again. “Maybe.”

  “I’m okay, baby. A little sore, but okay.”

  I let out the breath I had been holding. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to believe that until I can see you for myself.”

  “Oh? You know better than our doctor?” he teased me. I think he was trying to make me feel better.

  I let out a slight laugh. “No, but I just have to see you to believe it. They kept replaying it on TV, and it just looked so bad.”

  “It wasn’t that bad, Princess.”

  “When are you coming home?”

  Lincoln exhaled into the phone. “Plane leaves in an hour or so. I’ll be home by midnight.”

  “Okay. I miss you,” I told him.

  “I miss you too, baby,” he said, his voice turning warm and soothing.

  I remembered Kennedy. “Call your sister. She’s worried too.”

  “I will. You should get some sleep,” he told me.

  “You should too. I’ll call you when I get off work tomorrow, ok?”

  “Sounds good, Princess.” We said good-bye and I hung up, extremely relieved that he was okay, but still wanting to hold him.

  “He’s okay, I take it?” Rebecca asked.

  I nodded and crawled back onto the couch. “He had the wind knocked out of him and he’s sore, but he’s all right.”

  She patted my leg. “Good. That was scary.”

  “You’re a nurse. You’re supposed to be able to deal with this stuff.”

  “At my clinic, I deal with runny noses and rashes. There’s a reason I didn’t go into emergency medicine. Plus, it’s always different when it’s someone you care about. Doesn’t matter if it’s you, or Tabby, or Lincoln.” It made me smile that she included Lincoln in her list of people.

  My phone chimed again. Kennedy had texted me. “Told you so. :)”

  Lincoln must have called her. I smiled but then bit my lip trying to contain the idea that was forming in my head. “Can I ask for a favor? Are you busy?” I texted Kennedy and then told Rebecca my idea, hoping for approval.

  ~~~~~~~~

  I awoke to two strong arms wrapping around me. I opened my eyes to see Lincoln’s silhouette in the moonlight. I sat up slightly and reached to turn on the lamp that sat on Lincoln’s nightstand. I had tried to stay awake until Lincoln got home, but his bed was so warm and inviting. I hadn’t been asleep long when he woke me up.

  “Hey… surprise,” I whispered while blinking and squinting to help my eyes adjust to the sudden light.

  Lincoln was on me in an instant. His mouth crushed against mine, and his hands cupped my neck and head, his fingers tangling in my hair.

  I was surprised by his intensity, but I kissed him back as he pushed me flat on the bed. He broke the kiss and went motionless after nestling his face in my neck.

  “Hey… “ I said, running a hand through his hair slowly. “You okay?”

  “Mm…” Lincoln said into my neck before turning his face out to speak normal. “I’m just so glad you’re here,” he replied and squeezed me tight.

  I smiled big into the dim room. “Me too. How are you feeling?”

  “I’ll live,” he said, still snuggled into my neck. “Where’s your car?”

  “I had Kennedy bring me out. And… I took off work, and my mom is staying with Tabitha until Rebecca gets home,” I said, revealing my plan.

  He pulled back, propped up on his forearms and gazed down at me with a smile. “You mean I have you all to myself for the whole day?”

  I bit my lip to contain my smile and nodded slowly.

  “Is this because of what happened at the game?” he asked. “You have to believe me when I say I’m okay. It wasn’t that hard of a check.”

  I realized he thought I was still worried. “Lincoln, I might have freaked out when it happened, but it was more the anxiety of not knowing. I’m not here tonight because I didn’t believe you when you said you were okay. Logically, I knew you were okay after I talked to you, but I still wanted to hold you and make sure for myself. I could have done that tomorrow after work, though.”

  “Then why are you here?” Lincoln asked. “Not that I disapprove, mind you. I’m still not sure if I’m dreaming this.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and smirked as I lightly pinched the exposed skin between his tank top and his pajama bottoms. “There. Not dreaming,” I teased.

  He chuckled and kissed me lightly on the lips. I wanted to tell him I was here because I loved him. But I didn’t want to freak him out if he wasn’t there yet, despite what my sister had said.

  “I’m here because I missed you, and I wanted you to be happy when you got home. I thought me being here would make you happy.”

  “It does, baby. Very much,” he said and kissed me again. Passion and desire flamed through my body, and I ran my hands up his back under his tank top and tried to deepen the kiss, but Lincoln pulled away. “Jillian…,” he whispered and rested his forehead against mine. “Can I just hold you tonight, Princess?”

  I pulled my hands out from under his shirt and moved them up his sides. “Yeah, absolutely.” I told myself he wasn’t rejecting me; he was just tired and sore.

  Lincoln shifted and reached to turn off the light before rolling to his side. He gathered me up in his arms and pulled me on my side tight against his chest. I tucked my head under his chin, wrapped my arms around him, and tangled my legs in his. I wanted to be as close to him as possible. Lying in his embrace, I felt absolute comfort and love, and I hoped Lincoln did as well.

  ~~~~~~~~

  Sunlight filled Lincoln’s bedroom when I opened my eyes next. Lincoln was still wrapped around me, but I was now on my back, and he was partially lying on top of me with one arm around my chest and one leg over both of mine. I shifted slightly to check the time and saw it was midmorning.

  Lincoln tightened his hold on me and sighed. I turned to look at him and saw his eyes were still closed, so I took the opportunity to study him while he slept.

  His handsome face was free from tension and was slightly smashed up against the pillow, which I found adorable. His full lips moved slightly every time he exhaled, and his stubble had grown thicker overnight, but I could still see his strong jawline.

  I slowly rolled to my side to watch him sleep. He unconsciously squeezed at me again, but this time I felt his erection against my hip. I gasped quietly. The previous times I stayed the night, either Lincoln or I had to wake up early, and we hadn’t cuddled like this in the morning. I hadn’t experienced his morning wood before, but now that I knew he was unconsciously aroused, it brought wicked thoughts to my head.

  I bit my lip and debated if I should wake him with a blowjob. It turned me on just thinking about it. I squeezed my thighs together feeling my own arousal, remembering the overwhelming pleasure from the other night when he brought me to my first-ever orgasm. And it had been mind-blowing. Was that just the night before last? It felt like so much had happened since then.

  I silently moved my
hand from my own hip to his while watching his face. He made no indication that I had woken him when I placed my fingertips on his warm skin above his hip. I moved my hand to his erection and lightly caressed it through his pajama pants. Lincoln moaned in his sleep and flexed his hips.

  I bit my lip and smiled, knowing my simple touch was turning him on, even in his sleep. I flattened my hand against his lower abdomen and slid it down until my fingers brushed against the skin of his hard penis.

  “Jillian…” he whispered and opened his eyes.

  “Good morning, my sexy man,” I said to him with a smile. He growled erotically and pushed my shoulder down, causing me to roll to my back and lose my grasp on him.

  Before I knew it he had pushed my legs open and laid between them, pinning me to the bed, his hard member rubbing me through our pants.

  He propped himself up on his elbows and peered down at me. “Good morning, my beautiful Princess,” he said as he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply. “I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for this,” he said when he pulled away from my mouth.

  I opened my eyes and blinked up at him. “For what?” I asked, cocking my head.

  “For this. Just to wake up in bed next to you, knowing we don’t have anywhere to be. Nothing to take you away from me. I can just enjoy being close to you.”

  I smiled big, and my heart swelled. I was overjoyed that it made him happy to have me all to himself for the day. “Should I bring you breakfast in bed?” I asked, running my fingers through his short hair, wanting to spoil him.

  “Mm… I should make you breakfast. It’s my house,” he said as he lowered his mouth and kissed me again.

  He moved his mouth to my neck, trailing kisses across my jaw. “Yeah, but I was kind of breaking and entering, so it’s only fair I make you breakfast.”

  He chuckled against my skin. “You didn’t break anything.” He paused and pulled back to look at me with concern. “Did you?”

  I giggled. “No, I used the key you gave me.”

  He smiled. “Ah, see? I gave you the key, so I make you breakfast.” He rolled his hips against mine, and judging from how hard he was, I guessed neither one of us was going to be making breakfast anytime soon.

  His mouth got more persistent against my neck and I ran my hands under his tank top, caressing the warm skin on his back. “Yeah, but I make really good…” I started to say, but trailed off when he moved a hand to my breast and circled his thumb around my nipple, causing it to harden and little bolts of pleasure to run through me. Any thoughts of breakfast went out of my head in that instant.

  “You make really good what, babe?” he asked against the skin at my neck.

  “Fuck. I have no idea,” I replied and rolled my hips against his, wanting more movement.

  He chuckled, and I could tell he was amused with my inability to carry on a conversation until I moved my mouth to his and he inhaled deeply and kissed me intensely.

  I moaned with enjoyment as he flexed his hips against mine, sending spikes of pleasure through me. He kissed me passionately as he squeezed my breast, his fingertips stroking my hardened nipple as he traced it through my shirt.

  He suddenly broke our kiss and moved his mouth over my jaw, across my neck, and down the front of my shirt. He kissed my nipple before taking it in his mouth. Licking at the fabric between his lips, he gently applied enough pressure to cause an intense shock of pleasure to pierce all the way to my groin.

  I groaned loudly and weaved my fingers through his hair. “Oooh… do that again, Lincoln.” He complied, and I felt it again deep inside. I wanted him. I needed him. I didn’t care about anything at that moment, other than my carnal craving for him. I moaned his name and pushed his head down.

  He looked up from my breast and moved his hands to my waistband. “Baby, do you want me to…”

  I froze. Dammit! I NEEDED him to satisfy the ache between my legs, but I was still afraid. Still just as afraid as I’d been in the past. I still didn’t want him to see my scars.

  He sensed my hesitation. “It’s okay. I’ll close my eyes. I won’t see anything. It’ll be just like last time. Let me make you feel good.”

  My worry was overtaken by desire and I moaned, “Oh, yes. Please, Lincoln. I need you so bad.”

  I could feel Lincoln lose control in that moment, and he dropped his head to suckle at my breast again before moving lower. A sliver of fear shot through me when Lincoln began pulling my pajama bottoms down, but any and all feelings other than pleasure were immediately tossed from my mind the second Lincoln pushed my legs apart and put his mouth against my folds. I gasped loudly as Lincoln slid his tongue along my clitoris, and I cried out when he focused on my sensitive nub.

  I thought his fingers felt good last time, but this was a hundred times better. I cried out again as he sucked and licked me repeatedly.

  Lincoln used his lips and tongue to bring me to the height of pleasure and when he slipped two fingers inside me, it felt so good. Too good for me to contain. I threw my head back, clutched my fists against the bed sheet, and screamed loudly as my orgasm blasted through me, overtaking all feeling except for the pleasure surging through my core. I never wanted this feeling to end but I couldn’t hold on to it forever and it slowly faded, leaving me feeling like all the bones in the lower half of my body had been obliterated.

  I felt Lincoln crawling back up my body, and I opened my eyes and looked into his directly above me. “Hi,” he said, his big smile betraying his nonchalant greeting.

  I bit my lip and smiled back until I felt the lower part of his body shift over mine. I realized he was completely naked. He must have taken his pajamas off in my post-orgasm haze. I felt him rub his erection over my slick folds and, while part of me wanted to moan out in pleasure, a more logical part of me panicked. I had never had sex, and despite how much I loved Lincoln, I didn’t think I was ready for it.

  My eyes flew open wide, and I tried to close my legs but his body weight kept me splayed open underneath him. I moved my hands to his chest and tried to push him off me, but he was too strong.

  “Jillian. Relax. Relax. I know you’re not ready for that,” he said without moving away from me. “I just want to be as close to you as possible.” He ran his nose along mine, inhaling deeply.

  I relaxed my hands against his chest and felt foolish. “I’m sorry, baby,” I said quietly. “I do want you. I’ve just never…I’m a…” I felt so pathetic admitting to him I was a twenty-four-year-old who had never been with a man. “I’ve never had sex.” I finally whispered.

  “Say it again,” he demanded as his eyes blazed.

  Embarrassment turned my face red, and I closed my eyes and whispered, “I’m a virgin, Lincoln.”

  “No, I already assumed that much. Call me your baby again. That's the first time you've said it.”

  I opened my eyes to see him smiling down at me. A slow smile spread on my face. “My man likes to be called baby?”

  He moved his erection against me and groaned. “Your man definitely likes it.”

  I gasped as his member rubbed against my sensitive clit, and I felt desire for him stir within me again.

  “Relax, baby. I just want you to feel good,” he said as he rubbed against me again and lowered his mouth to mine.

  He kissed me deeply, thrusting his tongue against mine as he continued to rub against me. He easily could have taken me completely had he shifted down slightly and pushed into me, but he never did. He simply rubbed his hard erection over my wet folds, both of us enjoying the mild pleasure—not as pleasurable as his mouth had been but it felt good nonetheless.

  Lincoln was emitting small moans, but nothing like the noises he made when I went down on him. It was time to escalate this; I wanted him to feel good too.

  As Lincoln kissed me passionately, I thumbed over his nipples before moving my hands to his back, slowly trailing my fingers down over his ribs before resting my hands on the small of his back. He shuddered and broke our kiss, throwing
his head back and rocking against me. I moved my hands lower and grabbed his butt, squeezing it and feeling the taunt muscles under the surface. “Baby, you have the sexiest ass I have ever seen,” I told him brazenly and dug my fingernails into his butt cheeks. Not hard enough to break the skin, but enough that he thrust against my folds again and groaned.

  Lincoln exhaled sharply. “Oh God, Jillian. That’s the hottest thing you have ever said.”

  His mouth returned to mine in an instant, and he kissed me hard, sucking on my tongue. I kissed him back and moved my hand from his butt and snaked it between our bodies. I grasped his erection, and he moved his hips off me slightly, giving me room to stroke him. I squeezed him gently as he thrust into my hand, and he let out a loud groan. He thrust again, and I knew this simulated sex was doing it for him. He started thrusting rhythmically into my hand and he whimpered with pleasure when he kissed me again.

  Now that I had him in my hand, he was no longer rubbing against me, and I missed the sensation. Despite my previous orgasm, I wanted more.

  I tore my mouth away from his, and he moved his kisses to my neck desperately sucking at my skin. “Touch me, baby,” I whispered into his ear.

  He immediately moved a hand to my breast and tweaked my nipple before moving between my legs. He flicked a finger against my clitoris, and I gasped. His other hand clutched at the bed sheet and he groaned as he thrust into my hand. He fingered my clitoris, and I climbed quickly to the brink of orgasm. He pushed hard at my sensitive nub, and I exploded, crying out loudly with pleasure.

  I squeezed him tighter as I orgasmed and he thrust hard into my hand several more times before letting out his own guttural groan. I opened my eyes in time to see his eyes tightly squeezed closed and his jaw slack as he grunted deeply with pleasure before spilling into my hand and onto my pelvis.

  He stayed frozen above me for a second, drawing out the most from his orgasm before collapsing onto me.

  We were both breathing heavily, and I was in disbelief. I never thought I could have this with a man. Obviously he hadn’t seen my scars yet, and we hadn’t actually had sex, but I never thought I would meet a man who would be patient enough to understand my fears. Yet Lincoln seemed to know my exact worries and, more importantly, he knew how to make me feel better when I had moments of doubt. I wrapped my arms around his upper body, hooked my heels around his calves, and I squeezed, holding him against me.