Barbarian Mine

by Ruby Dixon

  As I watch, Vektal picks up the small bit of leather and hands it to his woman again. She swipes at her cheeks and nods, then gets to her feet. Her belly is huge, like Har-loh’s, and she winces and rubs her back as she stands. “I’m sorry,” she says to me, and her voice is accented like Har-loh’s when she says the sa-khui words. “It’s something we humans like to call hawr-moans.”

  I grunt. Har-loh has also had crying fits for small things. It is the kit in her belly that makes her irrational.

  “I can’t stay?” The human turns and gives her mate a pleading look. “I’ll be quiet.”

  “You are my heart, Georgie, but this conversation is not for your ears.” He leans in and presses a kiss on her cheek, and they look odd together. The male is enormous and muscled, and his woman is tiny against him. Is that how Har-loh looks next to me? Is that why everyone is so quick to try and protect her?

  The human Georgie huffs again, but she picks up her sewing and shuffles forward. “Fine, I’ll have Tiffany go fix this for me. Love you, bay-bee.” She gives me a quick smile as she steps past, even though her eyes say she is curious.

  She calls him her bay-bee. Har-loh calls me that. Once again, I am hit by a surge of worry so thick it chokes me, and it takes everything I have not to race back to the healer’s cave and jerk my mate into my arms protectively.

  Vektal moves forward and squats by the fire pit. He gestures across from it. “Sit.”

  I contemplate turning and leaving. This man is the chief of the bad ones. My father would have despised him. I watch him, trying to decide. His face is hard and his form is fierce, but I remember the tender way he kissed away his mate’s foolish tears. I have done no less for Har-loh…and right now, they are healing her.

  So I sit across from the fire pit. My body is tense despite the cheery homeyness of the cave. There are hunting weapons neatly organized against a wall, next to two pairs of snowshoes and a cloak. There are furs and baskets in every inch of space, and I see a smaller bed made in one corner for the upcoming kit. This is a man anticipating his family.

  He will be ready to defend them at all costs. I must remain on my guard.

  Vektal raises his chin at me. “Your name is Maarukh?”

  “That is what Raahosh says.”

  “And who are you?”

  He knows who I am. My eyes narrow. “I am no one.”

  Vektal rubs his chin, expression thoughtful. “Leezh tells me that Harlow won’t say how you met. She changes the subject every time she is asked. I assume that it is because it is not a good story, yes?”

  I say nothing.

  “You know she was on a rescue mission to save two sick men when she disappeared? My tribemates were heartbroken, thinking she had died.”

  Har-loh has told me pieces of this story. She worried they had died because of her. And yet, because she loves me, she will not share with anyone the story of how I hit her over the head and stole her away. My heart swells with love for my mate. This only furthers my resolve that she must be safe no matter what.

  “In fact, they nearly died. One of my men was very injured.” He looks at me, waiting for an answer. “I assume you prevented Harlow from returning, so you nearly cost him his life.”

  Silence.

  “And since Harlow is pregnant, I assume you resonated for her. Did that happen before or after you stole her?”

  He speaks as if I had a choice. The moment I saw Har-loh, she was mine. It was that simple.

  “I am not pleased,” Vektal says. “You stole her and resonated to her. I wonder if she would have resonated to someone else if you had not? Have you stolen the chance to have a family from one of the men of this tribe?”

  I bare my teeth at him. The thought of Har-loh being touched by another man or carrying his kit? It fills me with rage. It takes everything I have not to lunge for Vektal’s throat.

  We stare at each other, bristling with tension.

  “I do not remember much of your father,” he continues after a moment. It feels as if he is spitting the words at me. “Just that mine was responsible for his exile. Vaashan told us all that you perished along with his mate.” He watches me to see my response. “He lied because he did not trust us.”

  I remain quiet.

  “You are silent?” He snorts. “Just like Raahosh. As if I needed two of you in the tribe.”

  That coaxes an answer from me. “I…do not intend to stay.” I cannot. Being around these people makes my skin crawl, yet the thought of leaving my beloved Har-loh here? It destroys me.

  “You cannot take Harlow,” Vektal says, his curious look darkening to one of irritation. “She is not well. I will not let you take her.”

  I get to my feet. She is my mate. It does not matter that his words make sense or that it matches what I have already decided. He is telling me that I cannot have her. Raahosh’s words of my father and mother’s story circle in my mind. They would not let him keep her, so he stole her away and she died.

  This cannot happen again. This will not. My plans of bringing Har-loh to the healer never went beyond ‘get better’. The thought that she might have to stay here? It is destroying me. A snarl comes to my mouth.

  He does not decide to separate me from my mate. It is not his choice. My fists clench.

  Vektal gets to his feet, his expression menacing.

  “Yoohoo,” a voice calls. “Knock knock.” A familiar human with yellow hair sweeps in. “Hey Vektal! Rukh. Am I interrupting something?” Liz comes and stands between us, beaming as if she hasn’t stepped between two furious males.

  “Now is not the time, Leezh.” Vektal’s voice is an angry growl.

  “Actually it is the time,” she says, utterly fearless. She links her arm in mine and smiles at the chief. “I just made stew and poor Rukh here hasn’t eaten all day, he’s been so worried over his mate.” She pats my arm. “And Raahosh is wanting to spend some quality time with his brother.”

  “Leezh,” Vektal warns.

  “Oh, come on. You guys weren’t speaking anyhow, right? He’s not going anywhere, not with his mate in the next room. At least let me feed the man!”

  Vektal’s nostrils flare.

  Leezh is not blind to the tension simmering in the room. Why is she pretending otherwise? Vektal looks furious and I know I’m shaking with anger at the thought of him taking my mate away from me.

  She is mine. I will steal the healer and bring her to our sea cave if I must, but Har-loh is mine.

  “Besides,” Leezh adds. “Georgie’s crying over her sewing again.”

  The man’s expression changes from stony anger to concern. He rubs his brow and pushes past us.

  “There we go,” Leezh whispers. “Problem solved.”

  “No problem has been solved,” I growl at her.

  “You kidding me? If it turned into a dick swinging contest, you were not gonna win, buddy. I admire your tenacity and all, but he’s the chief and what he says goes. Now, come on. I’m seriously going to feed you.”

  I want to tell her that I’m not hungry, that I want to go back to my mate and sit at her side. But as we emerge from the chief’s den, I see the healer’s curtain is still pulled shut, keeping us out. At the sight of it, all the strength leaves me. My legs feel weak and I stagger. How long has it been since I slept? Ate? I cannot remember.

  She steers me forward, toward another cave off to the side. In the center of the cavern, I see the chief’s mate wiping her eyes, and Vektal puts his arms around her. He holds her close and strokes her hair, and she burrows against him. The chief looks tired, concerned, and confused by his mate all at once.

  “Pregnancy hawr-moans,” Leezh whispers. “Georgie has ‘em baaad. Poor Vektal. She’s been making the man crazy for weeks now.” Her hand squeezes my arm. “Another reason why we needed to get you out of there. Didn’t want anyone saying something they’d regret later when all the baby stuff isn’t in play. You can come hang at me and Raahosh’s fire tonight. I made an extra bed with some spare furs if
the healer stays occupied longer than we hope.”

  “I will wait for my mate,” I say, straightening my tired body.

  “Which you can do while eating and saying hello to your brother.”

  I waver. My need for my mate wars with my exhaustion.

  “That’s what I thought,” Leezh says, patting my arm. “You’re irritated with me now, but I’m just being a good sister-in-law. Now come on. I made some stew and you and Raahosh can sit by the fire and glare stoically at each other.”

  I snort. Raahosh was right – his woman does have a tongue that could flay the hide off a quill-beast.

  “Whether you like it or not,” Leezh says as she leads me into her cave. The air is warm with the scent of cooking food, and smells like one of Har-loh’s dishes. “You need family. And Raahosh and I are here for you.”

  Chapter Nine

  RUKH

  Despite my exhaustion, I cannot sleep. My sweet Har-loh’s warm body is not curled up against me, and everywhere, there are sounds. Not the normal sounds that invade the quiet evening hours, but the sounds of people. Someone coughs. A man snores. People whisper. The furs rustle as Leezh and Raahosh move around in their bed. They are all small noises, but to me, it is an endless stream that sets my nerves on edge.

  These people are never alone. There is always someone nearby. I cannot imagine such a life, and it fills my gut with dread that to be with Har-loh, I must consider it. I tell myself she is worth it, but every time I do, another sound grates on my frayed nerves until I am twitching and restless.

  I jump up from the furs, unable to relax. I must see my mate. I must know she’s all right. I can’t stand the thought of her reaching for me and me not being there. I move silently out of Leezh and Raahosh’s cave and into the main cavern, now deserted. The healer’s den is no longer blocked off, and I head toward it.

  When I duck inside the den, the small area is quiet. There is a male sleeping in the furs at the back of the den, but the healer herself sits beside Har-loh’s bed. A child is cradled in her arms, and she rocks it gently as she watches over my mate. This is a good woman, this healer.

  She looks up at the sight of me and puts fingers to her mouth in an indication of quiet. I move to my mate’s side and take her hand. Her fingers are warm and she doesn’t look quite so fragile as before. I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “She is a little better now,” Maylak whispers. Her hand smooths the hair of the sleeping child curled against her rounded belly.

  “You have my thanks,” I tell her. The exhaustion that was in Har-loh’s eyes seems to have transferred over to the healer. No doubt the woman is exhausted from caring for my mate all day.

  She nods slowly, and her gaze moves to Har-loh. “Her khui is still very tired.” Her voice is so soft I can barely hear it, and I lean forward so I do not miss a word. “Her body…it was not doing well before she took on the khui. It has had to work hard to keep her healthy. Now with the baby, it is struggling.”

  I nod. She told me this earlier, though it is no less terrifying to hear it a second time. “What can I do?”

  “The kit will probably come early,” she says, reaching a hand out as if to touch Har-loh’s stomach. “Her body cannot make enough nourishment for it, and when it grows hungry enough, it will seek its way out. We must be ready.”

  I nod slowly. Then Har-loh must stay here, with the healer.

  And I must stay with her.

  I gently stroke Har-loh’s hand, even as Maylak gets to her feet and settles her child in a nearby bed, then crawls in the furs next to her mate. Now it is just me with Har-loh, and my searing thoughts. Her khui struggles to keep her well. What if she were to become hurt out at our sea cave? Or what if we resonated again? The healer herself carries a kit in her belly and one in her arms.

  If I take her away from here…it will be her death.

  The thought is agony. And I think of Vektal’s hard face, and his reminder that he will make the decisions for Har-loh, even if they are not what I want.

  To save my mate, I might lose her.

  I hold her hand and brush my lips against her skin, aching at the thought. My life was nothing but loneliness before her. The thought of losing my sweet mate?

  It will destroy me.

  HARLOW

  A big, warm body is curled up next to mine as I wake up, and for the first time in what feels like forever, my side doesn’t ache. I open my eyes and stare at an unfamiliar ceiling, then touch my belly to make sure my baby is still there. It flutters under my touch, reassuring me, and I turn to look at my mate.

  Rukh sleeps on, oblivious to the fact that I’m awake, and I simply gaze at him, soaking in his peaceful sleeping expression. His fingers are linked with mine, and he’s squeezed in against the rock wall, which doesn’t look comfortable. Meanwhile, I’m lying on a padded wealth of furs and feel really good. I wiggle my toes, unwilling to get up and face the day just yet.

  There’s a soft hum of voices in the distance, at once familiar and yet strange. It’s been a year since I woke up to the sleepy sounds of the tribe. They’re so strangely…noisy. I absently squeeze Rukh’s hand. It can’t be easy for my poor loner to be here. Being around me was a shock to his system. Being around a tribe of forty-something? It must be making him insane. I feel a twinge of unhappy guilt at the thought.

  Lips nuzzle my ear, and I feel the flick of a ridged tongue against my earlobe. “You’re awake,” Rukh says, voice gruff and sleepy.

  I snuggle closer to him – or at least, as close as my ungainly body will allow. “Did you sleep okay?”

  “No.”

  Always honest, my mate. Heh. “Too many people around?”

  “They are everywhere,” he says thickly. His fingers caress my cheek. “I am surprised they do not stumble over one another.”

  I chuckle. “It’s not that bad, but I will be ready to go back to our home soon, I imagine.”

  Rukh is silent. He kisses my temple and gets up from the bed. “I will wake the healer.”

  “No, I’m fine,” I protest, but Maylak is already rising from her bed across the cozy den. She gives me a sleepy smile and adjusts her leathers around her body, smoothing the round bump of her belly. It’s so weird to see her a year later and she’s no more pregnant than she was the last time I saw her. I sincerely hope I don’t carry my baby the full three years that the sa-khui do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand being pregnant and swollen for much longer.

  “How do you feel, Harlow?” Maylak asks.

  Rukh lowers to a crouch next to my bed, as if guarding me. I move to sit up, and my mate is immediately there, arranging the furs and adjusting things to try and make me more comfortable. “Do you need more cushioning? Shall I get you more furs?”

  “I’m just fine,” I tell him. “Really.” The worried look doesn’t leave his face, and I’m torn between exasperation and sympathy. This is all new to Rukh, I remind myself. He’s not familiar with the hospital bed situation.

  Me? I’m all too familiar with it. This is different, though. I tell myself that even as I sit up and give the healer a brave smile.

  Maylak’s expression is relaxed as she folds her legs and sits down next to me. “Rukh, do you know of the green tri-leaf plant? When you crush the leaves, it smells foul, like three day old meat.”

  He gives her a brief nod.

  “Could you get some? It makes a strong tea that is good for the kit, and it is best taken fresh from the plant. There are bushes nearby.” The healer’s gaze is direct as she stares down my mate.

  He looks to me, and then gets to his feet. “I will be back soon.”

  It’s silent until he leaves the cave, and then Maylak turns to me. Her gentle expression is apologetic. “The tea is quite awful, I must warn you, but it is beneficial.”

  “You weren’t just trying to get him out of here so he wouldn’t—” There’s no word for ‘hover’ in their language. “Um, be in the way?”

  “There is that, too,” Maylak says. He
r hand grips mine. “Does the tribe need to intervene?”

  I blink at her, not sure what she means. Intervene with what? Then I realize what she means – do they need to intervene and get Rukh away from me? I gasp and jerk my hand from hers. “What? No! I love him.”

  “I just wanted to be sure this was of your choosing. Males do not tend to see reason when they resonate.” She smiles to take the sting out of her words. “I did not wish to offend you, but I had to know. His father—“

  “I know about his father,” I snap, still reeling. Do they all think this is crazy Stockholm Syndrome? That because Rukh is devoted and caring that he’s fucked the brains out of my head? I love him. Maybe I was scared of him at first, but that was because he didn’t know how to act around people. He’s come so far, and I couldn’t ask for a more attentive, thoughtful, funny, smart, handsome, intelligent mate. I know I’m being rude to Maylak, who’s exhausted herself trying to heal me, but I’m still offended. “I’m sorry if I yelled. I just feel protective of him.”

  She nods and pushes the blankets off my belly, all business once more. “I thought so, but I had to ask. Sometimes it is hard to tell.” Her fingers prod the side of my stomach, and she looks up at me. “Any pain here today?”

  I shake my head. For the first time in what feels like forever, the nagging ache in my side is gone. “No. It feels good.”

  She nods. “Your child is healthy, but your body struggles to create enough food for it. There is a…thing the body creates when a kit comes out of the mother. We call it the ‘life meat’.”

  Well, that sounds gross. I’m growing a baby and ‘life meat’ inside me. “The placenta?”

  “It is not nourishing your kit as it should. Your child will come early.”

  My hands go to my belly, caressing it. “Is that bad?”