Gabe’s face lit like a burst of fireworks. “My pleasure!” Gabe enthusiastically grabbed Liz’s face and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll be back.”
Liz turned to Sam. “Do you mean it, Grandpa? You’ll sign the papers for the surgery? No second thoughts?”
“None,” he replied. “Second thoughts have gotten me nowhere in this life.” He squeezed Liz’s hand. “What was I thinking? I could never leave you, Lizzie. You’ve been my world since the day you were born. And that is never going to change.”
“No, Grandpa. It’s never going to change.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
THERE WAS NO such thing as textbook open-heart surgery, Liz discovered after pacing in the family waiting room for five hours. She consumed more coffee than she thought possible without creating a cardiac arrhythmia of her own, and though Maddie and Mrs. Beabots stayed with her, she was achingly aware of Gabe’s absence.
In order to allow Gina to visit the hospital without raising Angelo’s suspicions, Gabe concocted a plan to stay home and work with his father in the fields. Gina’s story was that she was meeting Maddie to discuss wedding plans and then have lunch. Since Maddie was at the hospital and they ate lunch in the hospital cafeteria, they rationalized that their story was not a complete lie.
Three hours into the surgery, one of the nurses came out and explained to Liz that they had found three more clogged arteries that required stents, and the doctors were going to repair as much as they could while Sam’s chest was open.
Liz had been told that fixing a heart was much like fixing an automobile engine. The MRIs and ultrasounds only told half the story. It wasn’t until the surgeons were “under the hood” that the real assessments could be made.
Finally, after more than five hours, Nate appeared in the waiting room and told them Sam’s prognosis would be good once he got through the next twenty-four hours.
Relieved, Liz hugged Maddie, Mrs. Beabots and Gina. “He’s going to be fine,” she said, tears filling her eyes. Her emotions slowly subdued in her chest, as if she were a balloon that was deflating.
“What a blessing,” Mrs. Beabots said, her hands shaking. “We’ll have to have a special party once Sam is up and around!”
“That’s a splendid idea,” Gina concurred. “I will be most happy to help.”
Mrs. Beabots eyed her carefully and then pulled her aside. “You’ll have to dim those love-lights I see in your eyes,” she said quietly. “Your husband can’t ignore them forever.”
Gina smiled softly, laugh lines appearing around her lovely eyes. “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.” She picked up her purse. “I’ll give Gabe the good news, Liz.”
“Thanks.” Liz turned to Nate. “Can I see him now?”
“He’s in recovery, but we’ll bring him down to his room soon. You can wait for him there.”
Gina kissed Nate on the cheek. “I’ll see you two later,” she said and walked out of the waiting room.
They all said their goodbyes and left Liz standing in the waiting room alone. She couldn’t help but think how fortunate she was to have such good friends. They all looked out for each other, and they would all have a lot to celebrate once Sam was home.
As a nurse walked out from the corridor that led to the surgery area, Liz heard a voice from a speaker down the hallway. “Code blue. Paging Dr. Barzonni. Code blue.”
Liz’s blood turned to ice. For the second time in two days, death had come to take her grandfather away.
* * *
IT WAS ENDLESS DAYS of walking between the worlds for Liz as Sam’s heart refused to quiet down. His pulse raced to over one hundred and eighty-eight beats a minute. The doctors were so afraid any exertion could cause another heart attack that they would not allow him to feed himself or get out of bed, nor would they allow anyone to bathe him.
Liz learned the names of all kinds of medicines she hadn’t known existed. Digoxin. Warfarin. Beta-blockers. Atorvastatin. Clopidogrel. They were all meant to save his life, but Sam insisted he didn’t need any of them, only a glass of his good merlot.
She spoon-fed him yogurt, applesauce and pudding and applied cool washcloths to his forehead. She held a disposable cup with a straw to his lips. She watched the clock with supercilious anticipation and paced the room when the nurses were seconds late with his next medication. She asked a hundred questions and then asked them again.
Gabe came to visit every night, though it was late and he looked exhausted from spending long days on the farm. By the time he arrived, Liz was wrung out from feeling stress, seeing visitors and trying to pretend she wasn’t terrified.
Gabe was quick to notice the dark smudges under her eyes and the flicker of panic that crossed her face each time Sam rolled in the bed or laughed at one of Gabe’s jokes, which sent the pulse monitor soaring and the nurses running in with another injection of digoxin.
“His heart just won’t settle,” Liz explained as she stood with Gabe just outside his room.
She didn’t respond when Gabe brushed her cheek with a kiss or even when he put his arm around her. Gabe realized he was suddenly not part of her universe. He supposed that was the way it should be. They were in a life-and-death crisis. At any minute, she could lose the person she loved most, but he couldn’t help the fact that he felt slighted and vastly unnecessary to her.
“You have to trust that the doctors know what they’re doing,” Gabe tried to reassure her.
Still staring into the room, where a nurse was taking a new EKG, she said, “They found that Sam has had an arrhythmia for years. He never told anyone he had an irregular heartbeat.”
“What about when he went for checkups?”
She sniffed back a tear. “He’s so stubborn, you know. Always thinking he’s capable of running the vineyard—”
“Don’t tell me,” Gabe interrupted. “He didn’t go to the doctor.”
“Never. Sam is—was—the healthiest man I’ve ever known. Oh, he had his eyes checked and he never missed an appointment with the dentist. But a doctor?” She shook her head. “I don’t think he’s ever had a physical.”
Just then the nurse finished and rolled the EKG cart out of the room. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“How’d it look?” Liz asked anxiously.
The nurse gave her the kind of patronizing smile Liz had come to despise. The entire staff had been performing this don’t-tell-the-family-the-truth act so that if anything happened to Sam, Liz wouldn’t sue.
“The report gets sent to the doctor immediately. He’ll be happy to give you the results.”
“I know that,” Liz replied. “I was just hoping to find out something before morning.”
The nurse smiled vapidly once again and whisked her cart away.
Gabe frowned at the woman’s retreating back as he followed Liz into the room again. Liz went right to Sam and grasped his hand.
“Can I get you anything, Grandpa?”
Sam opened his eyes, as he had dozed off during the EKG. “You still here, Barzonni?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why don’t you make yourself useful and run over to the ice cream shop and bring me back a chocolate shake?”
Liz’s eyes bulged with horror. “Grandpa! You can’t have a milk shake! Who knows how your heart would react to the cold and the cholesterol.”
Sam sighed. “What I really want is a glass of my cabernet. Special vintage. I keep the bottles secreted away in the cellar.” He tried to wink at Gabe but failed. He winced with pain instead.
“Grandpa, what can I do?” Liz fumbled with a washcloth as she tried to wipe Sam’s forehead.
Suddenly, the heart monitor started beeping. Sam’s pulse rose to one hundred sixty, and then jumped to one hundred eighty-eight.
Liz pressed the nurse’s call button, but because
there was no instant response, she shoved it into Gabe’s hand. “Don’t let up!”
With tears in her eyes and panic in her voice, she raced from the room. She shouted down the hall, “Come quick. Digoxin! He needs digoxin!”
The monitor was blaring by the time Liz came racing back to the room with a nurse who was carrying the lifesaving injection.
Gabe stood back and allowed the nurse to perform her duty. Two more nurses entered the room and surrounded Sam’s bed.
Sam’s eyes were closed. He’d turned a ghastly gray. “Don’t die, Sam,” Gabe whispered. “Don’t die.”
It took nearly twenty minutes for Sam’s condition to stabilize. The doctor and nurses confirmed that this had been one of his worst episodes. They questioned Liz twice about what had brought on this reaction.
She shot Gabe a look both times, and he knew he would never be sure if her expression was accusatory or simply questioning. But Sam had been joking with Gabe and talking about his wine. Was Liz blaming him for Sam’s condition?
Gabe wondered if Sam thought he was dying. And if he did, what were the things he valued most in his life? Sam had spoken of his precious vintage of cabernet sauvignon and the fact that he had saved the bottles in a secret place. But who was he saving them for? Liz? Or had Sam been thinking of Gina?
Was Sam thinking about how he could change the future? Did he feel he had missed all his chances, or that he would have done things differently if he were well? He was flat on his back in a hospital bed, hooked up to a half-dozen machines. Sam’s will might have been as strong as that of an ox, but his body was useless.
The one thing Gabe knew for certain was that he never wanted to see even a glimmer of accusation in Liz’s eyes. She was obviously distraught, and only minutes ago, Sam had been on the brink of death. Sam had survived, for the moment. But what about next time? Gabe had wanted to cheer Sam up, but their conversation had had the opposite effect. Gabe had been well-meaning. But the truth was that his presence alone reminded Sam of Gina. Clearly, that was not a good thing.
It would have been judicious for Gabe to stay away from Liz until this crisis was over, but the idea of not seeing her caused his breath to hitch in his lungs. Every day, he worked till his muscles ached, knowing that in the evening he would see Liz. Talk to her. See her smile. Even hold her in his arms.
Gabe understood there were times in life when one’s own needs and wants had to be disregarded in favor of doing the right thing for a loved one. That’s what Liz was doing.
She continued to talk only to Sam. She seemed to be unaware that Gabe was still in the room. She put a clean pillowcase on the pillow and helped Sam to get comfortable. She gave Sam a neck rub and gently massaged his temples, humming an old song Gabe recognized—one that his mother sang often. Something about loving for “sentimental reasons.”
“I think I’ll go,” Gabe said quietly.
Liz lifted her head and nodded, but she didn’t say anything.
He got the impression that she was almost glad to have him leave. Maybe she was.
“Thanks for visiting,” Liz said and went back to humming her song and massaging Sam’s temples.
Sam lifted his hand a few inches off the bed to say goodbye, which appeared to be an enormous effort for the sick man.
Gabe walked out of the hospital and looked up at the stars in the clear, dark night sky. The chill in the air told Gabe the last of the warm summer days on the vineyard hill were over.
Gabe realized he loved Liz to the deepest recesses of his heart. Only one woman would ever hold his life in her hands the way she did. But he knew he had to back off so she could care for Sam.
Her grandfather needed her now. There was no question about that. She was the only family Sam had, and it was right that their days be consumed with each other. But after that?
Even if Sam survived, which Gabe prayed he would, would Liz ever want more for herself than the life she’d always known on the vineyard? Especially now that she’d almost lost it?
Gabe knew this wasn’t the time to press Liz for a commitment of any kind. Yet Sam’s illness had revealed to Gabe just how much he wanted Liz in his life. He wanted everything. He wanted marriage. He wanted to have kids and work side by side with Liz forever.
It was a dream. A good dream.
But was it achievable?
After leaving Liz tonight, he believed the real truth had just come out from the shadows. Liz’s commitment was to Sam. Not Gabe.
Gabe had never felt so hopeless in all his life.
* * *
LIZ ASKED LOUISA to bring her fresh clothes every day. She showered and changed each morning in Sam’s hospital room, and she received reports on the vineyard from both Louisa and Aurelio each evening. She continued to place orders for the tasting room, since her business contacts were stored on her phone, and Louisa brought her laptop in so she could stay on top of the accounting.
Each day, Liz hoped she’d be able to take Sam home, but his “numbers” crept toward normal at such a slow pace, Liz was reminded of the kind of patience she needed when waiting for wine to ferment.
By the eighth day in the hospital, Sam had gotten bored. On the ninth, he was angry. On the tenth, he was resigned. And then they told him he could go home.
Gabe had stopped coming to the hospital at night, though he’d texted her that he was overwhelmed with work, as they were bringing in the last of the harvest.
When the doctor informed Liz and Sam that he was finally well enough to go home, the first person Liz wanted to share her joy with was Gabe. She called him while the nurses removed Sam’s IV and readied him for the trip home.
The call went straight to voice mail. “Hi, Gabe. It’s me. I wanted you to be the first to know that Sam is going home! Can you believe it? He’s finally out of the woods. Oh, the nurse wants me. I gotta go!”
* * *
ONCE THEY WERE HOME, Liz set up an inflatable bed in the living room until Sam was strong enough to climb the stairs to his bedroom.
Liz set up a blood pressure cuff attached to a digital readout monitor and placed a three-ring binder that contained a food log, medicine log and exercise schedule on a small collapsible table next to Sam’s recliner. She plugged in a space heater that would keep Sam’s area of the living room toasty for him and gathered for him a stack of winter throws and blankets.
For the first few days, Liz’s attention was pulled in a dozen directions, and she realized how much her absence had nearly brought the harvesting and winemaking to a halt. Though Louisa and Aurelio were competent, they still expected her to make decisions.
She’d put everything on hold for Sam.
Including Gabe.
The revelation was stunning. Gabe had come to mean a great deal to her, and she’d looked forward to the sound of his velvety voice on the phone, and even better, his surprise visits.
But she hadn’t seen Gabe for six days. Not since the night she’d almost lost Sam—again.
And he hasn’t returned my call, she thought as she walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water for Sam. This was a hugely important day for her, and she’d wanted to share it with him. Honestly, she’d hoped Gabe would offer to come to town and help her take Sam home. But he hadn’t called.
She felt a pang in her heart and she realized she missed him—tremendously. She had him to thank, just as much as the doctors, for saving Sam’s life. She knew she needed to express her gratitude properly, though she couldn’t think anything to do that would be in keeping with the magnitude of his actions.
She mixed aloe vera juice with the water and stirred it. She knew Sam wouldn’t like the moldy, tinny taste of the juice, but Liz believed what the woman at the health food store had told her—that aloe vera healed human organs faster than any pharmaceutical drug. Liz was willing to try anything to speed up Sam
’s recovery.
She glanced out the kitchen window at the falling autumn leaves. Winter wouldn’t be far behind.
The winter months would be perfect for Sam’s recovery, because the vineyard wouldn’t be as demanding as it was in the spring and summer. They would have time to make their goals for the following year and adjust their schedules to fit around Sam’s new limitations. Liz knew her grandfather would never be physically able to handle the workload he once had. He would have to cut back, but through a bit of trial and error, they would find their balance.
Balance was precisely what Liz needed in her own life. Since the day she’d caught Gabe on their land, swiping a vial of her soil, she’d been off-kilter. Gabe made her feel as if she were spinning at a dizzying speed. He’d shown her that a canopy of stars was the only ballroom they needed, that his dreams were every bit as expansive and visionary as hers. He wanted the same things she did out of life, and of all the people she knew, he was the one who understood the loyalty she had toward Sam—because he demonstrated the same steadfastness toward his mother. What had happened? Had Gabe realized he was still chained to the Barzonni farm? Had he given up on his dream for himself and his own vineyard? She hadn’t heard another word from him about buying her land.
Of course, she’d been overwhelmed with her grandfather’s care in the past few weeks, but still, she had a nagging impression that something irreparable had occurred between them.
Her heart felt like lead. She had come to love Gabe, but something had happened while she wasn’t paying attention.
And now he was gone.
* * *
LIZ DECIDED TO USE Gabe’s own tactics against him. When she spoke on the phone with Maddie on Saturday afternoon, she learned that Nate and Gabe were at the local feed store getting supplies for the farm.
“They’re there right now?”
“Yes,” Maddie replied.
“I have to go.” Liz hung up and dashed out of the house, grabbing the truck keys on her way out.
The Indian Lake Farm and Feed Store was only two miles from Liz’s vineyard. When she pulled into the parking lot, she saw Nate’s SUV close to the front door. She took out her phone to text Gabe.
A Fine Year for Love (Shores of Indian Lake) Page 21
