In Her Dreams

by Bolryder, Terry

  I sigh. “I suppose.” My heart clenches, trying to let warmth out when right now it’s so cold. Things have been wonderful with Reve. He’s been giving me a life that I only thought possible in my dreams. But… “It’s just… if I make another mistake, choose the wrong man and make Joey pay for it…”

  “Oh please,” Sandra says. “Joey is a great kid, but it’s not like he has ever fit into this world well either way. He’d probably love going to the dream realm or whatever it is.”

  “What are you going to do about Jerrek?”

  Sandra snorts, but I can hear embarrassment in her voice when she talks. “I have no idea, but that is another topic in itself. You need to decide about Reve. You two are already crazy about each other. Everyone can see that.”

  “But… the fae realm, how can we live there when we have always been here?”

  “What’s so good about this place?” Sandra asks. “If you ask me, I’d love to go the dream realm as soon as possible.”

  “No, you wouldn’t. You care about your clients.”

  “I don’t know,” Sandra says. “But look, Reve is a really good guy. It’s so obvious he might as well be wearing a sign on his back that shouts, ‘I’m a good guy! I won’t hurt you!’ I would think being with someone like that, who wants you as well as your son, who wants you to be happy, is worth a little relocation.”

  “To another planet.”

  Sandra is quiet for a moment. “So what, you’d rather stay here? Alone forever? What about when Joey is grown? What does he have to say about all of this?”

  “I don’t know.” I put a hand to my face. “He knows a few things like he’s a dream fae and they have whips.”

  “Seriously?”

  “He’s been using it at school,” I say, fighting back a snicker, realizing for the first time how funny that is. “He was defending another student.”

  “Of course he was,” Sandra says warmly. “He’s a fighter like his mother. Strong and tough. And who better to guide him on how to be strong and gentle at the same time than Reve?”

  “Seriously?” I ask. “A fairy?”

  “It’s apparently what we are,” Sandra says. “Even if we have no idea. But think about it. Tess is super strong, I can sense things about people or read thoughts sometimes, and you…”

  “Yeah, what’s my superpower?” Jen asks.

  “Being strong?” Sandra says. “Being able to survive anything, I would think. You pulled yourself out of such a rough situation, made things so good for you and your son. And I’ve never heard you complain even as you try to mother both Tess and me and help us with our lives.” Sandra sighs. “So it’s time we helped you by ignoring your pride and telling you the truth. That you so deserve all the goodness Reve is bringing to you, and I hope you won’t turn it away just because you don’t think you can trust him.”

  I suck in a breath because she is totally right.

  I’ve only trusted myself for so long that I don’t know how to trust a man anymore.

  It was so easy when we were just meeting in my dreams.

  But in the real world, I have to trust him with my and Joey’s health and safety. I don’t know if I can.

  I mean, everything I know about Reve so far shows him to be amazing. But how does anyone ever truly know?

  “I mean, what do you have to stay here for, honestly?” Sandra asks. “Joey just started a new school, and it sounds like he’s already in trouble now.”

  I snort. “He is.” Even though, to be honest, I really don’t think he should be.

  “You might really like the place.”

  “But what if they’re scary?” I ask, knowing that now I sound whiny. “What if they don’t like us?”

  “They raised Reve, so they can’t be terrible, right? Besides, you have your own kingdom, right?”

  I think of the castle, so overgrown with vines and greenery now that I don’t know if anyone could live there.

  “I suppose.”

  “You just have to decide if you trust Reve,” Sandra says. “And I know that doesn’t seem fair, that you have to decide so early, but men like that don’t come around every day.”

  I blink, trying to remember my life before Reve came into it, how it was different.

  Honestly, it was like treading water with my head only barely above the surface. So why would I choose to go back to that now?

  The memory of someone hitting me across the face, pain lashing through me, mixed with betrayal, and the horrifying feeling that I’m trapped because I live with that person reminds me why I might choose not to move forward.

  But Reve isn’t like that. I know he’s not.

  “There is one other complication,” I say. “Mark’s brother Adam showed up, and he wants a chance to know his nephew.”

  “Oh frick,” Sandra says. “That’s a complication. But honestly, can anything good come from knowing someone who was raised by the people who raised Mark?”

  “I mean, we can’t judge everyone by who raised them. Or judge Mark’s parents for what Mark did.”

  “I do,” Sandra says. “Anyone in his family who knew what was happening should have had him locked up. Not just supported you in the divorce.”

  “Still, he’s Joey’s uncle—”

  “I think Reve is a much more valuable ally no matter what,” Sandra says. “He loves your son. He wants your son. He wants you. I really don’t see the problem or why you’re holding back so much.”

  “I guess you’re right. I just got so shaken up when Adam showed up. It reminded me of the family I had before. All the hopes I had of them loving me, of having a real family. And then the devastation after being caught up with Mark.”

  “But it wasn’t all devastation,” Sandra says. “You have Joey.”

  “I do,” I say, feeling love flood through me just thinking about his piercing brown eyes always twinkling with life. “I just want the best for him.”

  “What does Reve say about Joey?” Sandra asks. “Just ‘cause I’m curious.”

  My heart squeezes warmly, and I smile. “He says he’s another soul bond.”

  “Wow!” Sandra says. “I mean, you know that means he’d defend both of you to the death. Can you ask more from a man?”

  I laugh. “No, I can’t.”

  “And look, regardless, you won’t be alone,” Sandra says. “If you have to stay in the dream realm to be with Reve, you could always visit and do half the year here or there.”

  I blink. “I can’t imagine even half the year without him.”

  “Then how could you let him leave?”

  I blink again. “I don’t know. I guess you’re right. I let fear get the best of me. It took me into the past, not the future. You’re right. I need to get him back. We can work out the rest later.”

  “I tend to think finding the right person is the hardest part, yes. Besides, Tess and Lorien will be in the dream realm full time if you are too.”

  “What about you?” I ask. “When would I see you?”

  “It’s a little more complicated for me because I do have family here. But I would visit, obviously,” Sandra says. “As for Jerrek, God, I have no idea. He’s unbelievably hot in bed, but—”

  I let out a squeal of excitement. “What? You’ve slept together.”

  She exhales into the receiver, making it crackle. “Yes. The night they danced at the club.” She giggles. “I went into mating thrall. It’s not my fault.”

  I laugh. “That’s when it started for me and Reve too.”

  “By the way, Jerrek loves Joey. He already sees himself as an honorary uncle. Don’t you see? This is a chance for Joey to have a real family. Not just people related to that monster who hurt you. If you ask me, having Mark and everyone related to him on another planet couldn’t hurt.”

  “But what if Adam really is trying to make good? He has been in the military for years. Maybe he didn’t have a chance before…”

  Sandra is quiet for a moment. “It’s just too late, honestly. T
oo late for it to be anything but selfish.”

  I think for a moment. “You might be right. Reve doesn’t like the idea of it. He didn’t want me to meet with Adam at all.”

  “I don’t blame him,” Sandra says. “I guess we shouldn’t judge other people by their siblings, but he never even called? Come on. Being in the military doesn’t excuse that. Besides, don’t you think it’s a little weird Adam showed up after Reve attacked Mark with a whip?”

  I blink. “How did you know about that?”

  “Jerrek was there, remember? He had to stop Reve from killing the guy. So yeah, you have no idea what this brother wants.”

  “Adam said he was angry at Mark,” I say.

  “People can say anything. But regardless, a man you do trust and love really doesn’t like it. Again, this comes back to trust.”

  “I want to trust,” I say, rubbing my temples. “But when you’ve trusted wrongly, it’s so difficult.”

  “I know. I get that. Believe me, I do,” Sandra says. “It’s why I don’t know how this all will end for me. But Jerrek? He has his issues. Reve? He’s just a big sweetie wrapped in another big box of sweetie. And you, my strong, courageous, mother bear of a marshmallow, deserve him.”

  I laugh. “Thank you. How is the most recent book coming?”

  “Bad,” Sandra says. “A certain fairy keeps distracting me. But honestly, it’s going to be okay. Don’t push Reve away. If Adam wants to be around while Reve can court you here, I suppose so. But don’t give up on an amazing life for you and Joey just because you’re scared or because you think you owe something to someone who wasn’t around for almost a decade.”

  “You’re right,” I say. “I was just scared. Adam showing up threw me. Thinking about it, why would I allow him in Joey’s life? He was just so sweet, so persuasive. He always was, even in high school. But he should understand that it’s not good for Joey to be around a relative of his abusive dad.”

  “Trust me,” Sandra says. “As a divorce lawyer, it’s better to just keep the kid out of the reach of any abusers. And if Adam is Mark’s brother, that still puts Joey in Mark’s reach. At least until you know for sure their relationship.”

  My heart does ache slightly for what might have been if things had been different.

  But then I wouldn’t have met Reve while single.

  I guess I like my life just how it is, and I’ve made good choices, so as long as I make more decisions from a good place emotionally, I can at least trust myself.

  And when I close my eyes and listen to my heart, I trust Reve.

  “All right,” I say. “You’re right.”

  “Besides,” Sandra says. “Queens rule in the dream realm. If Reve does step out of line, not that I can imagine it, he’d be in so much trouble.”

  I laugh. “I can’t picture him doing anything either. But you’re right. I’d have control of my world. I don’t know what I was fretting over.”

  “You’ve been through a lot, and it’s okay that it gives you pause. But when Reve came back here upset and told Jerrek everything, I really felt that I couldn’t truly call myself your friend if I didn’t tell you I thought you were being silly. I didn’t want you to lose Reve, because I honestly think you two are so amazing together it’d be a crime if you got split up.”

  I grin, thinking of all my adventures with Reve. “It would be. You’re right. Thanks so much, Sandra.” I exhale. “I hope to be as helpful during your mate pursuit.”

  “Who knows how that will work?” Sandra says. “The past few weeks have been crazy. But I’m sure about this. Reve is good for you and loves you and Joey. That’s all that matters now, I think.”

  “Yes.” I straighten, glad that Joey is busy gaming right now. “I know what I need to do now. Thanks, Sandra.”

  “Should I try and send Reve over?” Sandra asks. “He isn’t here with Jerrek anymore.”

  “No,” I say. “I hurt him, and he probably needs some space. Plus, I need to take care of some things first. Talk to Joey.”

  “All good,” Sandra says. “I’ll be here if you need anything. Good luck. Love you, girl.”

  “Love you too,” I say warmly. “And yeah, I’ll need it.”

  21

  Jen

  I’m nervous as I dial Adam, but I’m set on what I want.

  He doesn’t pick up, so I simply leave a voicemail, telling him I’m sorry, and I really appreciate him, but I don’t think it’s best for Joey to have a relationship with Mark’s family at this time.

  I don’t say forever, though I know that’s what I mean.

  No need to be cruel, though.

  I slip my phone back in my pocket and walk to Joey’s room, knocking on the door softly.

  “Yeah, Mom?” Joey calls from inside.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Yes.”

  I open the door to see him cross-legged on the carpet, playing a game with some friends online.

  “Hey, bud, can we talk for a second?”

  “Sure.” He closes the game and sets down the controller, knowing that’s the rule when I need him for something else. “What is it?”

  “Joey, I know things have been… complicated. But what do you think about Reve?”

  “I think he should be my new dad,” Joey says without even pausing to blink.

  “What?”

  “He makes you smile,” Joey says. “He made you forget about your diet. He cooks. He loves you. He teaches me cool things. He said he cares about me too. So yeah, I really like him. If he was my dad, that would be awesome.” His freckled face lights up with a smile. “Plus, Jerrek would be like my uncle or something.”

  Joey tends to call Sandra and Tess aunts, so I guess it makes sense to call Jerrek an uncle.

  I grin because sometimes I really do envy how simple things are for children.

  “Plus, I’d feel better with Reve around,” Joey says. “Then I’d know my real dad could never hurt you again.”

  I kneel by Joey and pull him into a hug. “I wouldn’t let him hurt us again anyway.”

  Joey looks up at me. “But you didn’t whip him either. You know, Mom, you’re going to need to learn your whip even if that’s a warrior thing.”

  I purse my lips. “Hm. I think I’ll stick to queen stuff.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know yet,” I say with a laugh. “Joey, if I marry Reve, we might have to move.”

  “Good,” Joey says. “I want to train to be like Reve and Jerrek. I hate the guys at my school. They’re jerks.” He cocks his head. “But will you miss your job, Mom?”

  I shake my head, thinking of all the yelling, cursing, spitting, and shitting I won’t have to deal with anymore. Not to mention the tired feet and back pain. “I’m sure we’ll be okay.”

  Though everything will be different.

  “Great,” Joey says. “Can I tell my friends I’m moving?”

  “No,” I say. “Not yet. I had a fight with Reve. I, uh, still need to talk to him.”

  “Okay,” Joey says. I stand, and he hugs me again. “I’m super excited. I need to practice more with my whip! Can I go in the backyard?”

  “Not right now,” I say, shaking my head at him in amusement. “Play your games. I’ll go sort things out.”

  But I really do feel lighter, like this is the right direction.

  Everything is going to be okay, and I know Reve’s face will shine with relief.

  At least I hope so. I hope he doesn’t hate me for my moment of weakness. It’s like my brain just needed time to catch up with my heart.

  I walk to the kitchen and pull out my phone, trying to think of what to say to Reve other than I was wrong.

  But then there’s a knock on the front door.

  I narrow my eyes and go over to it and am shocked when I see Adam there.

  “Sorry,” I say. “But I left you a voicemail. Joey and I aren’t interested in contact with you at this time. You need to go. I’m sorry.”

  Adam’s
face falls, and I feel terrible for a moment, but then his expression goes flat. Hard. And even through the peephole, I can feel his displeasure.

  The sweet, kind mask is gone.

  “What happened? I thought you might be grateful or interested,” he calls through the door.

  “I just… I’m moving on completely,” I say. “I’m going to stop letting Mark have visitation as well.” I don’t need to mention that I’m doing that through relocation to another world and not the courts.

  There is silence from the porch, and I pull back from the door to catch my breath and think for a moment.

  When I look back through the peephole, Adam is gone.

  “What the…?” I trail off, thinking to myself, and then I hear Joey yell from his room.

  As I run toward the hallway, I hear Joey’s door slam open, and Adam comes out holding Joey under one arm as Joey tries to fling his whip around.

  My heart stops in shock. “Put my son down!” I rush at him, but Adam simply puts out a hand, and a rush of something cold throws me back onto my butt on the ground.

  “Cute,” Adam says, watching Joey’s wild whipping as Joey yells to stay away from his mom. “Go to sleep now.”

  I watch with horror, trying to get to him fast enough to stop him from shoving a needle in Joey’s arm, but I’m too late.

  Joey goes to sleep instantly.

  “I’ll kill you if you hurt him,” I say, something hot and fierce building inside me. I’ve never been that strong physically, but seeing my son in danger, I feel like I could obliterate this man in sheer rage.

  I think inside me, begging for my whip, and am shocked when something warm and hard appears in my hand. A whip handle. I start to fling it out toward Adam, but he just catches it midair and yanks me over to him, grabbing me against him with the arm that isn’t holding Joey.

  “Two for one,” he says. “I like it. You know, I’m not Mark’s real brother. I’m adopted through distant family. Then again, that was all an illusion too because I’ve actually been hiding here among the humans for hundreds of years.”