Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Where’s the phone?” He dug around the inside of his jacket and handed it to me. “Thanks. It was my mom’s. Did you see her?”

  “This is your mother’s? No. When I was running out of the church, I realized I had left my phone in there. I saw this one laying on the street and grabbed it, in case I needed one.”

  “So you didn’t see her at all?”

  “No. I’m sorry, Elaina. I didn’t.” I felt like I was starting to go numb. Nate grabbed my arm and asked me in a whisper, “Please, tell me what’s going on. What’s with G.I. Henry and his British accent?”

  “Let’s just get moving back to the vehicle and head back to his place. We’ll explain the best we can when we get there.”

  “Nope. I think I’m going to go home.”

  “Yeah…no, you’re not.” My emotional self was going numb, but at least I could still rely on my smart mouth.

  “I just want to get home, Elaina.”

  “Did you see what happened out there?” I pointed toward the window. “Look, Nate. Look at the bloody window. There are true dead bodies in the streets. There are undeads roaming, looking for their next meal. If you go home, you will become one of them, for sure.” I think I nearly scared the piss out of him. He stepped back, and he looked to be absorbing what I had said to him.

  “True deads?” Nate tilted his head to the left. “Like that hot vampire show? I don’t like the sound of this.” Oh, Jesus Christ, not again.

  “For fuck’s sake!” Henry yelled. Nate jumped at the sound of Henry’s booming voice. “No, this is not like some damn vampire show! No one likes this! Now move!”

  “Okay, okay, fine, you brute.” The three of us left the shop and rejoined Nick and Claire.

  “Anything out here?” asked Henry.

  “I haven’t seen anything.” Claire sighed.

  “Alright then.” Henry put his hand up in his shirt and pulled out another handgun, handing it to my brother.

  “Nope, not touching it.”

  Henry shoved the gun at him. “Take it. Don’t be bloody stupid.”

  “How do I know it’s a legal weapon?”

  “Oh, what the fuck does it matter, Nick?! Do you see what is out here?” I pointed straight ahead. “Look, Nick! Look around!” Nick reached out and took the gun. Henry nodded.

  “Think of it this way. You will be protecting Elaina.” He brushed past Nick.

  “Wait. If he gets a gun, I want one, too.” We all turned and looked at Nate.

  “Sorry, mate. Fresh out.” Henry was curt and kept walking toward the truck. That was a lie. Back at his apartment, he had put another handgun in his backpack.

  I took a deep breath as we passed the bodies of my family and friends, knowing I would relive this moment every time I pulled the trigger. I had to find a way to block out my emotions or I wouldn’t make it. I stopped short. “Nick, do you still have that flask in your coat?” He reached in and pulled out a small silver flask. “What’s in it?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “No, I suppose it doesn’t.” I opened the top and just about drained it. I choked a little once I felt the fire rise in my throat. “Holy shit! Tequila?” I coughed.

  “Careful. It will kill ya’. Now move along and follow Henry. I’ve got the back.” I tipped back the flask again, this time emptying it, wiped my mouth with my arm, and handed it back to him. I know…really girly, right?

  Chapter 3

  M

  y feet felt like they were lead weights. Maybe it was just Henry’s boots. It was so hard to walk past all of my true dead family and friends. I tried not to look and stay cool. Again, I managed to get past my father without dropping to my knees by his side. I felt terrible leaving him there, but what was I supposed to do?

  Henry unlocked the truck and Nick stood guard while we hopped in. Claire and Nate were pretty petite so the three of them fit perfectly in the back. Henry started the truck and turned the radio on. Nothing, not even tones. Dead air. He looked at me and shut it off.

  It was a quiet ride back to Henry’s place. Undead activity was high, but we needed to get to safety and not use any more ammunition.

  “I’m going to park out front where I left the limo. That way, we can get away quickly if need be. I don’t want to risk going back in the garage. Too many places for the undeads to sneak up on us.”

  “Do you think someone will steal it?” I asked.

  Henry shrugged. “Maybe.” I hoped not. “Alright. Are we ready? I will lead. Then Elaina, Nate, and Claire. Nick, you cover behind us. Everyone hurry, but remain calm.”

  “What are we, in kindergarten? Single file…boy, girl?” Nick mumbled.

  “Nick, can it, would you? I’m sure he has a reason.”

  “I don’t really. I just felt like being bossy again.” I smirked at Henry and he winked at me. Even though I didn’t know who he truly was, I still loved him. I knew it didn’t make sense, but my Henry had to be in that body somewhere.

  ***

  We made it up to Henry’s apartment without incident. He unlocked the door and waved us all in, then locked the door behind him.

  “Damn…nice place.” I was shocked that Nick actually complimented him since their relationship had been mostly touch-and-go from the beginning. They got along, for the most part. Only for my sake, though.

  Henry hit the light switch and nothing happened. Perfect, I thought. There was a collective groan throughout the group.

  “Thanks, but I can’t take credit for it. I bought it furnished. The only furniture that’s mine is that trunk.” Claire, Henry, and I looked at one another and smirked. I was trying to block out all my emotions. I was hoping a little of my humor would be a good mask.

  “What’s so funny?” Nate didn’t look amused. He stood there with his hands on his skinny hips.

  “Nothing. Never mind.” Henry put his gun down on the dining room table. We all followed behind him. “Alright, a couple of rules. Do not open the door for anyone. Try not to be too loud. There’s plenty of food and water here, for now. Eat something to keep up your energy. We are in for a long journey together.” He was rattling off rules like we were children at camp.

  “Claire gets the spare room, Nick and Nate can flip a coin for the couch. I’m going to go make a call in our bedroom.” He put his arm around me when he said that. “Hopefully, I can still get through. Feel free to fight over the shower. The towels are in the cupboard in the bathroom.”

  “Our bedroom?” I was a bit curious, seeing as that was only the second time that I had actually been inside his apartment. I had never even been in his bedroom, besides changing out of my dress.

  “Yeah. I think of it as ours.”

  “Okay.” I shrugged and headed down the hall to the shower. I yelled as I walked away, “By the way, I call the shower first.”

  Without me realizing it, Henry walked in the bathroom behind me while I turned on the shower. I jumped when I turned around and he was standing there. “Jesus, Henry. What?”

  “I have a master bath. You can use it, if you wish.”

  “No. I’m good.” He still stood there, staring at me. “Is there something else?”

  “I just wanted to look at my beautiful bride again. Alone.”

  “In case you missed what happened today, we aren’t married. And we aren’t exactly alone.” He cupped my face with his right hand and rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

  “I know, but you are beautiful, and you are still my bride-to-be.” That was my Henry. A soft smile crossed my lips.

  I looked over in the mirror and saw nothing but a blood-speckled face, dirt, and an unintentional messy up-do. I pursed my lips. “I think I left my beauty back at the church, before this shit started.”

  “Nope. You are beautiful to me, no matter what.”

  He leaned in to kiss me, but I shied away. I started to flood with all the emotions I was trying to keep at bay. He pulled back some. “What? What’s wrong, love?” Had he missed what happened?

&n
bsp; “I… Well, I...I just need to get into the shower and get all this gross off of me. Can we talk after?”

  Henry nodded and turned around to leave the bathroom. He looked back at me and said, “I will be in our bedroom making my call. Yell if you need me.”

  “Okay.”

  He closed the door and my legs gave out. I dropped to my knees. What was supposed to be the best day of my life had turned into the worst day. My chest ached and my stomach twinged with hunger, but I was too nauseous to eat. My mind was racing.

  I begged silently to myself, Please, wake up from this nightmare. I tried to pull myself together, but I couldn’t hold it back anymore. The girl I had been had vanished.

  I curled up on the tiny rug and cried like never before. I pulled at the rug’s fibers, throwing a hissy fit. I pounded my fists on the floor. I screamed into the towel. I hoped that neither Henry nor anyone else heard me. I needed that moment to myself. I needed to open the floodgates and let it out. Then I realized that I had to get in and out of bathroom before anyone worried.

  “Pull yourself together, Elaina. This is not who you are,” I whispered. I forced myself up off the floor, and stripped out of Henry’s blood-stained, sweaty clothes. I shuddered. I hate blood and sweat.

  I stepped into the steaming hot shower, knowing it could very well be the last steamy shower I may take for the rest of my life. It was so hot, but I didn’t give a shit. I was using up the hot water like a selfish little adolescent, but I didn’t care.

  I found Henry’s bottle of body wash, opened it, and inhaled. The spicy scent filled my nose. “Henry,” I whispered to myself. It smelled like the Henry I knew. I washed my body with it, aching for him. I felt like he had died, along with everyone else. I was so torn. I loved him. I loved the Henry I knew, but wondered if that Henry was gone forever.

  I finished my shower, wrapped up my hair, and wrapped a towel around my body. I kicked Henry’s dirty clothes off to the side -- picking them up was not an option for me -- and headed out of the bathroom.

  “Shower’s free!” I yelled down the hall.

  “Alright!” Claire yelled back. As she started to head down the hall, I waited for her. She gave me a small smile.

  “Be careful in there. The bathroom is some sort of vortex. It sucks out all of your emotions.” I touched Claire’s arm. She stared at me with her big blue eyes. “Claire...”

  “Please, Elaina.” I was feeling guilty that I used up all the hot water. I could see that she just wanted to collapse. Her emotional state had exhausted her, and the day’s events were showing on her face.

  I pulled my hand back and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Claire. I wish I could…”

  She put her hand up to stop me from saying something that would set her off. “Stop. Just don’t.” Her voice shook. “I can’t handle it right now.” She turned into the bathroom and the door closed with a quiet click. I stood there for a moment, listening. Her cries were soft, but strong. I had to walk away before it sucked me back in again. I went into Henry’s…I mean, Liam’s…or was it our bedroom? He was raging on the phone again.

  ***

  “Liam! So glad you called. I wanted to congratulate you on your wedding day. How did it go? I hope it wasn’t too eventful and went smoothly.” Roger’s malevolent laughter tore through Henry’s body. He wished he could wrap his cold hands around his throat and watch the life drain from his face. Someday, he thought.

  “I refuse to take part in this!”

  “Liam, Liam, Liam…you are to get on that plane and get your useless arse back here and pay for your rogue behavior.” Roger stayed calm, but Henry was close to snapping.

  “If you think I’m going to bow down to you ever again, you have another thing coming to you!”

  “You are getting back on that plane. Sophie is coming to drag you back to me. I already have your punishment planned.” He chuckled. “You remember your old mate, Brass Knuckles, yeah?”

  “Fuck off, Roger. I told you I was done with the program ages ago.”

  “You know you cannot leave the program. You’re in it for life.”

  “Yeah, thanks to you.”

  “Liam, my boy. Come on now. You know you want to come back. I have a special place all ready for you.” A sadistic laugh burst out from Roger’s throat.

  “Fuck you.”

  Roger was getting pissed with Henry’s refusal to obey. “If you don’t come back, I will personally hunt you down and torture your woman in front of you until you give in. I may even have a little fun with her in front of you. Show her what a real man can do for her.”

  Red rage tore through Henry. “I will never allow you to lay a hand on her! Ever! I will slit your throat and watch you bleed out before you could ever lay a hand on her! Do you hear what I’m saying?!”

  “Are you threatening me? You know where threats get you.”

  “I don’t make threats. I make promises! I swear to you, I will kill you and enjoy every second of it! I’m calling the shots now!” Henry was pacing wildly, wearing a path in the plush carpet.

  “Liam, I advise you to get on that plane or you will pay the consequences!”

  ***

  I watched Henry pace like a wild man, yanking at his hair as he raged on the phone at a deafening level. I wondered who he was talking to that would make him so full of anger and hatred.

  “No. I refuse!” Henry paused for a moment. “Piss off! I’m not taking orders from you! I already told you that months ago! I am through with your program, and I am not returning. I’m going to do what I see fit. If that means taking out half of the goddamned world, then so be it. You’re a sick son of a bitch, and I hope…I hope you become undead because you can count on me to put a bullet in your motherfucking head!”

  He hit the END CALL button on the screen and threw his phone up against the wall. It shattered, like everything else did around us.

  “ARRRG!” he growled, which paralyzed me with fear. I had never seen him like that. I had seen him angry, but he usually stayed in check. This Henry was unhinged and scared the shit out of me.

  He realized I was standing there, witnessing his rage. “Elaina.” He started walking toward me. “I’m sorry you saw and heard all of that.” He looked ashamed after he noticed that I was standoffish and frightened.

  “What was that about?”

  “Uh, shit. Let’s get you dressed and get some stuff for the others first. Then we’ll sit and chat in private before we talk with them. I owe you that much.” I nodded and we went to his dresser and his closet.

  I pulled out a couple tees and found a couple more pairs of workout pants. Thankfully, Henry was at the gym a lot; otherwise, Claire and I wouldn’t have a wardrobe. At least we could roll the waistband down some to take up some of the length and tighten it up a bit. It was a far cry from Claire’s usual feminine attire, but it’s better than the nasty clothes she had already borrowed.

  “Henry, I’m not sure what to do about panties.” I blushed a bit. I’m not sure why. I had never really been shy in front of him before. He’d seen me naked, on more occasions than I could count.

  “You can wear my boxers,” he said with a smirk.

  “Uh, no thanks.” I wasn’t in the mood to get that personal with him.

  “Suit yourself. Go commando.” He shrugged.

  I put Claire’s outfit outside the bathroom door, then I shut the door to the bedroom. Henry walked up behind me, pulling the towel off of my hair. “Hmm, my black-haired beauty,” he whispered. I blushed again. He started to tug at my towel and I stopped him. Confusion from my rejection flashed across his face.

  “It’s just not the right time.” He had an odd way of shutting out what had happened. It was a bit bizarre.

  “Yes. I understand. But I still think you look beautiful.” He smiled at me. I couldn’t help but smile back, though I still pulled away.

  “I need to get dressed.” I was barely audible.

  “Go ahead.” I frowned, then he realized how I was feel
ing. “I’m sorry. I can imagine you are probably uncomfortable around me at the moment. I’ll leave and take the others these clothes.” Before I could change my mind, he headed out of the bedroom. He stopped at the doorway before he closed it. “I’ll come back in a minute so we can have a chat.”

  “Okay,” I said. I sat down on the bed for a moment and dried my hair with the towel. I dressed in a flash, worrying that Henry would come back sooner than I expected. I wished I had a different bra. That strapless one was killing me. And as for panties, I wasn’t a commando kind of girl, but I was out of options, unless I was going to wear Henry’s boxers. Not happening.

  I wasn’t happy wearing his big clunky boots, either, but it was better than those heels I had on earlier. I had to stop thinking about the wedding. I saw part of my dress sticking out from Henry’s closet, and it made me pause.

  There was a quiet knock on the door. Slowly, I opened it. Henry was standing there, smiling, with a bowl of fresh fruit and a bottle of ginger ale. “Room service.” He smirked and I smiled at him. I stepped away from the door and allowed him to come in. After all, it was his room.

  “Thanks. I haven’t eaten at all today.” Although, I wasn’t so sure my stomach could handle it right now.

  “I figured as much. I thought you would like the ginger ale to help settle down that belly of yours.”

  “Yes, thank you.” I smiled at his thoughtfulness and headed back to the bed. That was the Henry I knew and was supposed to marry earlier in the day.

  He sat down beside me and let out a great sigh. “Alright. Where do I begin...?” He trailed off for a moment and rubbed his perfect, stubbled chin, lost in thought. I nibbled on a strawberry. “Uh, well. Alright. I was just talking to my former boss. Roger.” I chewed slow and listened intently.

  “Wait. Who were you talking to before?”

  “That was Kellan.”

  “Who is he?”

  “I’ll get to that eventually. Anyway, Roger recruited me for the program when I was fourteen.”