Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  Sophie finally let go of me and ran to Henry. I collapsed on my knees before I could even take a step. I was screaming, mixed with sobs, but I couldn’t hear anything that was coming out. It was like a nightmare, and no matter how hard I tried to scream, no sound came out. I felt Claire grab me and hold me close to her. Everything was still happening in slow motion.

  Nick cradled Henry. He looked lifeless, like a ragdoll. I started throwing up because I was crying so hard. I saw Nick open Henry’s eyelids. Oh, god, I was losing him.

  Then I had a moment of clarity. I had to make Kellan true dead for what he did to Henry. I became like a caged wild animal. Claire yelled in my ear, “Elaina! Calm down!”

  I was like a pissed off honey badger. I scratched and clawed my way to Henry, and nothing was going to get in my way. Claire couldn’t hold me back any longer. Nick was listening to Henry’s chest.

  “Come on, man. Come on!” Sophie had dropped down at his side, sobbing.

  I finally got to him. I grabbed his lifeless, icy cold hand. I had a newfound strength, and I shoved Nick away from him. My adrenaline was pumping fast and furious through my veins. “Get away from him!” I laid my head on his chest, trying to listen for a heartbeat. I was too panicked to hear anything except my own heart pounding in my ears. “Henry, Henry, please. Please come back to me!” His beautiful face was such a bloodied mess. His eyes were already bruised and swollen. Blood was trickling out of his nose and mouth.

  “Henry! Please! Don’t leave me!” I cried out. I beat on his chest. I laid my head back on it, and I heard his heart thud a couple times. It was slow, but still going. “I can hear his heart beating!” I shouted. I laid my head back on his chest, and it seemed to be beating faster.

  Henry began to cough, and blood misted out of his mouth. He moaned. Nick rolled him on his side to help keep his airway clear. Then I heard him trying to say something. “Lai-na...,” he whispered.

  “Oh, my god, Henry.” He reached up and stroked my face. In all his pain, he was trying to comfort me. He couldn’t open his eyes all the way, and his breathing wasn’t sounding great, either. “We need to find him some help!” I was panicking. Henry needed medical attention right away, but there we were in the middle of a motherfucking apocalypse.

  “Elaina,” said Nick, “there’s no one around.”

  “Love…it’s okay.” Henry mumbled between his teeth. He hissed as he tried to speak through the pain.

  “I know there’s no one around! And no! It’s not okay, Henry! It’s not okay,” I cried. His eyes kept slowly opening and closing as much as they could. He was drifting in and out of consciousness. I held his beautiful, bloody face in my hands.

  “I love you so much. Don’t you dare leave me. Please. Henry, please, can you hear me?” His eyes opened slowly, meeting mine. “I love you. You are my world. My rock. My everything. Please, don’t leave me. Please, I beg you. Whatever it takes. I will do whatever it takes to fix us.”

  I laid my head on his chest and sobbed, sick with worry. It tore me up to see my strong, gentle, loving man dying. He wasn’t going to leave the world not knowing how I felt. It all just poured out of me.

  “Henry, Henry, please listen. If it wasn’t for you, my world would be dark. I would have perished already. I don’t care what has happened, or what you are. I love you. Please! Stay with me. I’m so sorry I doubted you. I’m so sorry I left you. After I gave you back my ring, I regretted it completely. I love you so very much. Please fight. Fight, Henry. You have to fight for us.” He tried reaching for my face again, and then closed his eyes slowly.

  While he was still conscious, Claire was trying to assess him. “Henry, tell me what hurts.” She was trying to get him to talk to her. He tried to laugh, but he grabbed his chest. “Your ribs? Chest?” She pressed down on them with a gentle hand and he cried out. It sent him back into an unconscious state. “He may have cracked ribs. I’m not one hundred percent sure. They could just be severely bruised. I don’t know. All I know is that he must be in a lot of pain for him to keep passing out from it.”

  Claire called out for Thomas, but he stood in shock, still with the Sig aimed. “Thomas, snap out of it! Go get the bin in the back of Henry’s truck. We need to stabilize his chest.” Thomas didn’t move. “Thomas!” She screamed. “Oh, fuck it.”

  Claire started to get up, then Sophie jumped up and ran to the truck. I was always amazed how fast she could move in those spiked heels. She ran back with the bin in hand, and started digging through it. She found a couple rolls of wide elastic bandages.

  “Elaina, I need your help.” I shook my head, still crying. “We need to cut off his shirt and roll him so we can try to stabilize his chest with this bandage.” Nick leaned down and helped. He pulled a knife out of Henry’s pack and cut his shirt off. He was bruised all over and had many cuts, some deeper than others. Henry cried out in agony when he woke up as we tried to roll him.

  I was worried what would happen when we were bandaging him up. We didn’t have anything to keep him straight. Nick was at his head, his arms under Henry’s back, trying to keep him straight while Sophie and Claire wrapped at a feverish pace. Because of the bite on Nick’s arm, he grimaced every time he rolled Henry.

  “What if his ribs poke his heart or something?” I was melting down. All rational thought was gone. All I could envision was all of his ribs broken loose, swimming in his body, lacerating every organ.

  Claire looked at me. “That’s the risk we have to take. We have no other options right now. We’ll try to be as quick and as careful as possible. We need to make sure the bandage is taut.” I was so scared Henry was going to bleed out, or worse. The thought of him turning ate me up inside.

  Kellan was still moaning and drifting in and out of consciousness just a few feet away. The blood from his wounds was seeping through his clothing.

  I decided I was going to kill that motherfucker. Henry suffered enough pain and humiliation because of all of the shit they had put him through. I was going to dish out some major revenge, and it was going to feel so damn good.

  I got up and walked over to Thomas, took the gun away from him, and walked back to Kellan. No one noticed me because they were so busy working on Henry. I kicked Kellan in the ribs as hard as I could. He gasped and began coughing.

  “Elaina!” Nick yelled, while holding Henry still. “Elaina, get away from him!”

  “No,” I growled. I was calm and I felt at peace with what I was about to do. I knew it was murder, but I wanted to avenge Henry’s pain, humiliation, and possible true death. Kellan’s murderous eyes were watching me. I wasn’t sure if he was conscious or just out of it. I leaned down and spit in his face. Then I put the Sig to his forehead.

  “Fuck off, you sick son of a bitch.” Kellan smirked at me. I had just about pulled the trigger when I heard Henry call out to me.

  “Elaina. Don’t. I…need…him…alive.” Each word was dripping pain. He yelled out in agony again. He was trying to get up and get to me, but Nick held him down.

  “Henry, you have to stay still or this is going to be worse for you,” Claire said to him, while watching me.

  “I need…to get her away…from him. He’s unpredictable. He…will hurt her.” His worry for me was bringing him out of his state of shock.

  “I understand, but I need to get you stabilized, or you could…” Claire shook her head, unsure of what he was or could be.

  I needed to get back to Henry, but I wanted to kill that motherfucker first. Without warning, the ground was pulled out from under my feet.

  Kellan had grabbed my ankle and hauled me down. He used all his might to crawl up on me. I was screaming and trying to push him off. He was on top of me, trying to bite me. He was weak enough that I was able to hold him back, but he was starting to overpower me because of my sudden onset of fatigue. The whole thing was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting me.

  I still had the Sig in my hand, holding it to his ribs, and pulled the trigger.


  Click. Click. Click.

  The gun was fucking empty. You have got to be joking.

  Kellan laughed and said, “Nice try, you foxy thing.” His words poured out of him with a sadistic edge. “I’m going to have you right here and now in front of lover boy, if it’s the last thing I do.”

  I couldn’t believe he was going to try to rape me, even though he was shot and leaking. I felt his repulsive arousal against my thigh as he rubbed his hips against me. I wanted to puke.

  He began clawing at my pants and his. I didn’t panic, remembering I still had the Sig in my hand. I pistol whipped him right across his temple. He let go of me and fell over onto the ground. I got up, breathing hard. The blow knocked him unconscious again.

  For a second, I felt that I had conquered. My brilliant lack of judgment just happened so fast, no one had time to react. They were all too busy working on Henry, and Thomas was in his own little world. Nick ran to me when they finished. “Damn it! Why would you do that? He could have killed you!”

  “I know, but what does it matter!” I yelled. My calm demeanor had purchased a ticket and left on the five o’clock train. I was back in Panicville once again. “Huh? Tell me. Fucking tell me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “What does it matter if we die or not?”

  “Elaina, it matters. We’re going to get through this!”

  “Nick! Look at you! You are half-fucking-dead!” He swallowed hard. He wasn’t pleased that I reminded him of his new life status.

  “I’m going to the cellar to get Mom.” He turned around, anger rolling off of him, and headed toward the cellar opening. I looked around.

  There was blood everywhere. Henry was seriously injured and near true death. Claire was trying to give him water and wipe down his face, which was something that I should have been doing. Thomas was in shock. I didn’t know if my mother was undead, true dead, or alive. Sophie took over guarding Kellan, and there I stood, behaving like a fool.

  I shook all over. I could feel Henry’s need for me, and could see him trying to reach his hand out. I dropped the empty Sig and hurried to his side. His eyes were closed.

  I knelt down and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes, and they were gray. I had never seen them so lifeless. “Oh, no. No, no, no!” I screamed.

  “It’s okay, love. You’ll be fine.” He voice was garbled.

  “Are you turning?” He nodded with a grimace.

  “I need a fix, or it’s over.” He was trying to speak in a calm tone, but the pain was getting to him. “I’ve lost too much blood.” Claire jumped up and ran to the bin of supplies.

  “Bite me.” I held out my wrist to his mouth.

  “No. I won’t let you be like this.” I saw Claire rummaging through the bin. He was in agony, absolute agony.

  “Henry, do you have any more needles or IV’s, or whatever you use?” We didn’t pay any attention to her.

  “I don’t care. This is all too much. It’s okay. I will allow you to bite me if it’ll save you.”

  “Be s-strong, love. G-get my gun.” His words were staggered. Here he was, still trying to comfort me in all his pain, then he insinuates that he wants me to shoot him? I had no words. I felt dizzy again. Everything was spinning and fading around me. “Elai-na?” I had forgotten about my head wound with all of the craziness going on. I threw up again. “Elai-na! Claire. Hel-p her.”

  “Shit!” She didn’t know what to do. Help me, or try to find something with which to tap herself. She got up and reluctantly ran to the trucks to get another pack. Henry couldn’t move. He was reeling, hissing, and growling from the pain.

  Sophie yelled at me. “Elaina, you have to lie down! You must have a concussion.” I lay down next to Henry. He touched my hand with his icy cold, stiff one.

  “Hurry, Claire! He’s turning! Hurry!” yelled Sophie. He was trying so hard to stay composed for me.

  Claire ran back from the trucks, with needle and vials in hand. She dropped down next to us. “How do I do this?!” Claire’s hands were shaking.

  Sophie ran over, but she was still watching Kellan. “I don’t think this is a good idea. You already gave Nick some.” She sounded concerned. Claire vehemently disagreed, and shoved the supplies at her.

  “Here.” Sophie was very reluctant but, with a speed I hadn’t seen before, she tied off Claire’s upper arm, found a good vein, and started filling one of the vials.

  Her eyes were welling up with tears. She couldn’t bear to see me lose the love of my life, like she had lost Marc. Sophie filled one vial, popped the next one on the needle, ran over, and poured the first one down Henry’s throat.

  “Come on, Henry. Stay with me. Swallow.” Sophie’s voice broke. “Please…fucking swallow.” His hollow, lifeless eyes stared up at her. Her former protector, lover, and her only friend was on the verge of leaving her again, permanently. She ran her fingernails over his throat, trying to get him to swallow. Finally, he did.

  Sophie ran back to Claire. She grabbed the near full vial off of her vein, plugging the next one in. Again, she ran back and made Henry swallow it. She ran back to Claire again and untied her arm. She took the last vial off, and forced it down Henry’s throat. I could see how much she still cared about him. His life meant so much to her. I appreciated her efforts.

  Sophie wanted to save him, like he had saved her so many times.

  While still lying down, I peeked over at Henry. I was scared of what I would see, but I could see the pain washing away on his face as he moaned.

  “Thank you, Claire. I’m forever in your debt,” I said, knowing I owed so many people for saving Henry. She couldn’t speak. She just stared off into the distance, looking a little woozy.

  I heard Nick clambering back up the cellar stairs. He was carrying Mom, and growling in pain from the fresh bite wound on his arm. She looked lifeless. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see if she was alive or true dead. The world started spinning at an alarming rate. The lights went out again.

  ***

  “Thomas!” No answer. “Thomas! Get your arse over here!” Sophie was getting pissed about Thomas’ newfound silence and continual stagnation. As much as she wasn’t a fan of him, she needed his help.

  He finally looked over at her when she trained her Sig at his head. “Thomas, so help me god, if you don’t get your arse over here, I’m pulling the goddamn trigger!” Everyone had a short fuse and a hair trigger. With careful strides, he walked over to Sophie. She was leaning over Henry, trying to keep him comfortable, hoping he didn’t change.

  “Wha’?” he said.

  “I want you to take Elaina’s gun and clear the house. We need to get everyone inside as soon as possible.” Nick had laid his mother down beside Elaina. He was checking for a pulse, and listening for breathing.

  “Is she alive?” Sophie asked, trying to be as tender as she could. She had near zero experience in being soft, caring, or even compassionate with anyone besides Henry.

  “Barely. Keep an eye on her please, Claire. I’m going to go with Thomas, just in case. And if this fucker,” Nick kicked Kellan in the side, “even thinks about moving an inch, pistol whip him again. Just stay out of his reach. I’ll fucking kill him if he lays a hand on you. I don’t give a shit what Henry wants.” Claire nodded. She was a little surprised by Nick’s comment, but then she remembered that he called her ‘My Claire’ and told her she was beautiful back at the convenient store.

  Nick checked his Sig, and grabbed the gun Elaina had been carrying and gave it to Thomas. Nick looked at saw that both guns were empty so they went to the truck to reload.

  Claire scooted over to Maria, Nick and Elaina’s mother. She grabbed her hand and tenderly rubbed it. Maria was chilled, and her breathing was shallow. Her skin was pale, and her eyes were sunken into the sockets. Claire started pulling out all of the intravenous connections Kellan had put in Maria’s arms, and bandaged her as best she could. She could see marks around Maria’s mouth where there had been a gag. She realized Nick must have removed
it before he brought her out of the cellar.

  Maria had played the maternal role in Claire’s life after her parents passed away in the car accident. She tried to be subtle about it because Claire never wanted to acknowledge their death. It began to hit Claire that she could be losing the last maternal role model she had left in her life. She held Maria’s hand and kissed it.

  “Oh, please, Mrs. Cooper. Please, don’t die on us. Elaina needs you. Nick needs you. I need you,” she whispered, and tears formed in her eyes. “We should have listened to Elaina and tried to find you sooner. I’m so sorry.” Claire broke down.

  ***

  Thomas stood quiet as a mouse while Nick searched for more bullets in the trucks. All the packs were empty of magazines, except for the one in Henry’s bag. He realized that they never grabbed enough when they left to find Elaina. Plus, they used a bunch while they were looking for her.

  “Shit,” he growled to himself.

  “Wha’s wrong?” Thomas asked.

  Nick laughed. “Oh, Thomas. You’re just one funny little fucking prick, aren’t you?” Thomas stepped back a little. He feared he was about to get bit. “‘What’s wrong’.” Nick laughed again, talking to himself. “He asked what’s wrong. Wow.” Nick whipped around and grabbed poor Thomas by the shirt collar. “You want to know what’s wrong? Do you? Do you really want to know, or are you that fucking stupid? Are you?”

  Thomas’ lips trembled. He couldn’t speak. Fear was rushing over him like a wave.

  “Answer me!” Nick screamed in his face.

  Sophie came running over. “Nick! Nick!” She grabbed him by his arm. “Stop it! Leave him alone.” He grumbled. “Nick. Please.” Nick let him go with a slight push, and Thomas fell backward to the ground. “Control yourself, damn it! I know how you feel. You are angry at everything and everyone. I understand, but you need to clear out the house so we can get your family inside! Your mother is dying, for god’s sake!”

  Sophie tried to say it quietly, but it didn’t come out that way. Nick looked down in shame, then swallowed his anger. He held out his hand to Thomas, offering to help him get up. He accepted, only because Sophie was standing right beside him. It was a change in pace, but he was certain she wouldn’t allow Nick to attack him.