Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Sophie wants Thomas and me to go with her back to the apartment.” She almost didn’t finish her thought before Nick spoke.

  “I’ll go.”

  “I knew you were going to say that. This is the issue I see. Sophie is scared to death of Kellan. I don’t know exactly what he did to her, but I am gathering it wasn’t very pleasant. I don’t think we can leave her alone with him. He might get to her.” Nick agreed, but he still wasn’t fond of the idea of Claire leaving. “Elaina can keep Henry in check. Can you keep an eye on Kellan?”

  He ran his hand over his heavily stubbled face that was riddled with worry. “Yeah, I guess. I really don’t want you going out there, but I don’t have a choice, do I?”

  They stood staring at one another for a few moments. Nick reached out to Claire’s face. His icy fingertips brushed across her cheek. She relaxed and closed her eyes. It felt like it had been many moons since someone had touched her. She reached up to his hand and slid her fingers down his arm. Nick shuddered.

  He stepped closer and embraced her, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck. He kissed her neck and worked his way up to her ear. Her breathing quickened. She felt that familiar stir deep inside of her, and it made her feel alive.

  She had always had a crush on Nick, but he never noticed her. He was always too busy chasing someone else. She watched him date a variety of girls before he headed off to college. It used to piss her off. She never felt she was good enough for him.

  He slid his cool lips across her warm, blushing cheek. Nick whispered her name. He reached up and held her face in his hands.

  With wild passion, he kissed her and kissed her hard, possessing every inch of her mouth. He felt himself harden, while thoughts of taking Claire ran through his head. He groaned as she ran her hands down his pronounced chest.

  At first, Claire returned his hungry passion, but then she pushed him away, breathlessly. “I’m sorry,” Claire whispered. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.” Nick hung his head, looking sad. “I just have so many questions. I mean…”

  He held up his hand to stop her. “I understand. When you get back, we’ll see what Henry and Sophie know about, uh…about relationships.”

  Nick nervously ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to say anything about being intimate for fear that Claire would think that was all he wanted from her. He was desperate to be with her. After all of their conversations, he realized what he was missing in his life.

  It was her.

  Claire turned around and gathered herself. She straightened her shirt and adjusted her hair before she opened the door and locked eyes with Kellan. In a snap, she was back to reality, and a sudden spark of the devil lit inside of her. She laughed in the classic Kellan way. It felt good to make him feel a little off his game, letting him think they were planning something for him. Nick smirked as he walked in behind her. He understood exactly what she was doing, and he thought she was pretty fucking awesome.

  ***

  Claire strolled back into the kitchen. I was in there, heavily protesting their decision. She put her hands up in between everyone. “Enough! Elaina, Thomas and I are going with Sophie, and that is final.”

  “But…”

  Claire stopped me, my mouth still hung open midsentence. “Shut it.” I did. “We’ll be fine. And, besides, someone needs to cater to this slightly damaged man right here.”

  She seemed rather jovial for someone who was about to go out into the crazy, fucked up world, minus the comfort of a boatload of ammo.

  “Now. Here’s my worry.” I knew it was in that head of hers somewhere. “What if you, Nick, and Kellan need blood?” Henry looked at Sophie. I was a bit curious as to why she was worried about getting blood for Kellan. The only thing I could think of was keeping him unchanged until Henry was stable enough to be able to get information from him.

  Everyone stood quiet, until Henry spoke. “Well, can Sophie, Nick, and I split bags from Claire and Thomas before you leave? You may be gone for a while.” No one responded. Henry looked around at everyone. “I know I’m asking for a lot.”

  “And Kellan?” I asked.

  “Okay, here’s what I think.” Oh boy, more words of wisdom from Sophie. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for what was about to be said. “Nick and Henry get a bag from Claire and Thomas. Then Elaina can provide vials for you two and the arseface…only if there’s no other choice.” I didn’t want to give the asshole any of my precious blood.

  “What about you?” Thomas murmured.

  “I can live on vials for a bit more. I’ll probably seek out some on our little field trip. Or, if we get back sooner rather than later, I can get one then. Can we all agree on this?” Everyone reluctantly nodded.

  “One more thing.” Henry held out his arm with the tracking device in it. “Let’s cut these out and you can take them with you and leave them at my flat.”

  “Wait.” I didn’t like that idea at all. “Having all the tracking devices on them while they fight their way back could put them all in danger! What if more like him are out there trying to get to us?”

  “You have to trust me.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “I’m sorry, but this is not the time for the ‘you have to trust me’ speech, Henry! They can’t do that. What if they get stuck somewhere for days? It will compromise them, seeing that they won’t have enough ammo to significantly defend themselves.” He knew I was right, but I wanted to hear him say it. I glared at him.

  “Fine. You’re right.” There. Chalk one up for little ol’ me! He didn’t want to agree at all, but he did. “Take them with you and throw them out somewhere midway.”

  “I don’t like that, either.”

  He threw his arms up in the air, and immediately regretted it. He bent over in pain. “Fuck!” he yelled in agony. I tried to grab him and support him, but he shoved me away. He leaned over the countertop, and it took him a minute to catch his breath. “What do you want to do, Elaina? Tell me your fantastic idea! Ugh! Motherfucker!” I was aching for him again. I did that to him. I tried to grab him and apologize but, again, he shoved me away.

  “I don’t have any ideas. I’m just worried! Okay?! I’m scared! Is that what you want to hear? There, I said it. I don’t want to lose any of you! You are all I have left!”

  I stormed into the dining room and, with the highest level of maturity, I put my fist through the wall. I roared and stormed up the stairs.

  I paced the floor of my bedroom, thinking of all sorts of great things that I should have said, instead of punching the wall. Then I realized there was a warm wetness running down my hand. I looked down, and guess who cut themselves while acting like a fifteen-year-old boy? Then I heard a knock on the door.

  “Shit.” I grabbed the first thing I saw and wrapped it around my hand. I cracked open the door and saw Henry’s fading eyes.

  “May I come in?” I stepped back and pulled open the door. I couldn’t bear to look at him because I was ashamed of my behavior.

  “Did you hurt your hand?” He took it gently and unwrapped the cloth from around it. “I see you’re still mad at me, ruining my favorite shirt and all.” I tried not to smile, but it was hopeless.

  “Stop. I’m trying to be angry,” I mumbled.

  “Well, love, you’re not trying hard enough. Now, let me see this.” He pulled my hand up and examined it. He stared at the blood that was trickling out of the gash in my hand.

  I could see it was all he could do to hold himself back. He swallowed hard and moistened his lips. I knew he was ready for more. I pushed my hand at him, silently giving him the okay to have a taste. He pushed my hand away and shook his head.

  “Well, it looks like you did a number on it. You could probably use a stitch or two.” I dropped my hand down to my side, and tried to hide it behind my back. I was so embarrassed about my behavior. Plus, I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t take what he needed.

  He tore off a strip of his t-shirt that I had wrapped around i
t. “Here, let me see it again.” With hesitation, I gave him my hand, and he tied the strip of fabric around it. “Now, let’s go back downstairs and get this cleaned up so it doesn’t get infected.” He turned to leave, but I didn’t move.

  “Why did you refuse?” I whispered.

  He looked back at me and shook his head. “You do so much for me already. I cannot possibly take advantage of you in that way.”

  “But I will be giving you vials later on.” I almost sounded whiny.

  “Only if it is truly necessary. And, besides, giving me a vial is much different than forcing you to live as I do. You don’t have to offer yourself up to me. If I sucked on your wound, you would get infected.”

  “But I want you to feel better.”

  “I understand, and for you to offer yourself up to me means so much. I can’t explain how much I appreciate that you’re willing to sacrifice your normal life for me. But I can’t do that to you. I already feel like such a prat for turning Nick.” I nodded. I was feeling wounded and worry swept over me. “Come here, my black-haired beauty.” He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me for a minute. He kissed the top of my head. I pulled away, just enough to be able to look into his eyes. He tucked my hair behind my ears and then cupped my face in his cold hands.

  I looked down shyly. “I’m sorry for getting angry with you down there.”

  “It’s okay.” He kissed my forehead and held me, rubbing my back, giving me the comfort that I should have been giving him.

  Chapter 22

  A

  fter Henry cleaned up my wound, we all sat in the family room and discussed cutting out the tracking devices. Henry was sifting through all the supplies Claire and Thomas had brought back. Unfortunately, there weren’t any scalpels.

  “We’ll just have to use a knife,” he said. “I say we start with Kellan.”

  Henry went into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife he could find…my mom’s chef knife. He had the biggest of smiles plastered across his beautiful, bruised face. I laughed at his amusement.

  “This shall do it, yeah? Anyone care to watch?” We all looked at one another, probably all thinking how crazy Henry was acting. He was allowed.

  He had that evil glimmer in his eyes. We shrugged at one another, and followed right behind him. I knew he was going to enjoy torturing Kellan, much like Kellan enjoyed torturing him. Then I saw Henry jam his forefinger and thumb into his temples, rubbing with vigor. I grabbed his arm before he could walk any further.

  “Wait. Maybe you should get some blood first. You seem a little in need.”

  “I will be fine. I can get my fix afterwards.” I wasn’t sure if that was the best idea, but what other choice did I have, other than to follow him?

  We headed toward the living room, where Kellan was still tied up. Henry grabbed another chair and turned it backward, sitting down and facing him with the knife in hand. “Well, hullo, mate.” Henry grinned, while rolling the knife handle in his hand. Kellan was looking a little bleak, and told Henry to go fuck himself. Sadly, it was muffled because of the gag. “Well, look at that. Your eyes are quite gray.” Henry smiled. He knew Kellan was getting weak, and the virus was taking over.

  Henry reached over and cut the gag out of his mouth with the tip of the knife. It was bloody from when Nick punched him and knocked out a couple of teeth. Kellan coughed a few times, and moved his jaw back and forth.

  “Is there anyone else coming?” Kellan just glared at him. “I asked you a question.” Henry remained calm for the moment, but I knew that it would escalate. It was Henry’s M.O. Calm to psychotic in sixty seconds or less.

  “I’m not giving you any information,” growled Kellan.

  “Claire?” called Henry -- his eyes never leaving Kellan’s.

  “Yeah?”

  “Let’s start a bag.”

  “Me or Thomas?”

  “Whoever wants to go first.”

  “I will.” She was very nonchalant. Claire went and grabbed everything they needed to perform the draw. “Where would you like me to sit?” she asked when she returned.

  “Bring a chair over to me.” Claire dragged one of the dining room chairs over. He situated the chair right in front of Kellan. Claire sat down, and Henry began the process. Kellan studied every movement. I could almost see him drooling. “Ready?”

  “Yes.” Claire crossed her legs, relaxed back into the chair, and Henry began the draw.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes.” She smiled, and never broke eye contact with Kellan. I could tell she was enjoying the control, as well. Kellan rolled his neck and sighed.

  “Now, is there anyone else coming?” Kellan just glared at Henry, but didn’t answer. Henry moved forward, looking at Kellan with disdain. “I know you’re on the brink, Kellan. I can see it. So why not just spill it, then I’ll share this with you.”

  He was hearty because of his constant drawing from my mother, but Kellan was hurting. He hadn’t had any blood in several days, and he was starting to weaken. His voice was gruff. “He said if I don’t bring you back in a timely fashion, then he was sending Drew.”

  Henry clenched his jaw. I wasn’t sure who Drew was, but I was sure that he was another one of Roger’s head-fucks. I was hoping it was an empty threat because I couldn’t handle any more bullshit.

  “He won’t know where to find us.”

  Kellan laughed. “Are you that stupid? Maybe all of those beatings knocked you senseless. Not that you had any brilliance to begin with.” My lip curled in anger while listening to the way he was speaking to my Henry. How dare he imply that he was unintelligent?

  “Now, why would you think that?”

  “Look at your forearm, you cock-up.”

  “I’m curious if your arm looks like mine…” Henry asked in a suspicious, controlled tone. He got up, and turned Kellan and the chair sideways. Henry grimaced when he did it, but he was holding in his pain.

  Kellan was now facing all of us, while we watched from the doorway. His arms were tied behind the chair, and his hands were bound together. Henry had a clear view of where the tracking device was placed.

  “Hmm… That is rather curious, yeah?” Then Henry viciously stuck the knife in Kellan’s arm. He screamed in agony as Henry slowly dragged it down over the scar. He dug his finger into Kellan’s arm and pulled out the tracking device. I had to look away or there was going to be a rapid evacuation of food from the pit of my stomach.

  Kellan shuddered in pain. He began panting and growling. His blood dribbled out of his arm and pooled onto the hardwood floor. We stood in the doorway, watching in silence. All of us were a bit frazzled. I had seen Henry violent, but he took such pleasure in hurting Kellan. I was a little frightened seeing his hand covered in Kellan’s tainted blood.

  “Well, would you look at this?” He rolled the device in his bloody fingers. “Nick?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you know if there is a sledge hammer out there in the garage?”

  “I do believe there is. I’ll be right back.” Nick ran out the door, looking rather gleeful.

  Minutes later, he came back in carrying a large sledge hammer with a three foot handle. “Do you think this one would work, or do you think it would be overkill?”

  Henry smiled. Nothing seemed to be too much at that point. Why not be completely sick, twisted, and demented all at the same time? “Ah, yes. It’s perfect.” He set the device on the floor, right next to Kellan’s foot. “Elaina, my love, would you like to do the honors?”

  Fuck yeah, I was totally down with that. I decided to get in on the sarcastic, cuckoo-crazy behavior. After all, it was my signature.

  “Why, yes, lover. I do believe I would.” Henry grinned at me with pride. He handed me the hammer, and I raised it over my head. It was heavy, and I had a difficult time trying to muscle it, but I was determined to make Kellan pay. I swung down fast and furiously…

  Oops.

  I missed and smashed Kellan’s foot. The screamin
g was ear piercing. He bounced up and down, still tied to the chair. I gave him my very best innocent look, including a healthy batting of my eyelashes.

  “Oops. So sorry. I missed. I hope you can forgive me for my clumsiness with this heavy thing.” I slowly ran my fingers up and down the shaft of the hammer, like I would caress Henry’s hard thickness. “This tool is rather heavy, and this girl is just not that big and strong.” I took a step closer to him, and my demeanor changed. I looked at him dead in the graying eyes, and I whispered with a growl, “That was for Henry.”

  “You whore!” Kellan yelled. Rage filled me, and I raised the hammer again, aiming for his head. Henry stopped me before I brought the hammer back down again.

  “Step back a moment, love.” I took a step back, and Henry placed himself an inch from Kellan’s face. “What did you call her? I don’t believe I heard you properly.” I couldn’t believe how smooth and in control Henry was. I would have thought he would’ve snapped by now.

  “A whore!” he spat at me.

  Henry stepped back and casually said, “Hit the other foot.”

  I wasn’t going to disobey. I smiled and brought the hammer down on Kellan’s other foot. He cried out again.

  As sick and twisted as that moment was, it felt so damn good. He tortured Henry, my mother, and who knows how many others. I imagine Sophie was on that long list, too. It was his turn to pay for what he did. Karma. Eye for a motherfucking eye, my friend.

  “That was for my mother!” I growled. “And that is what you call vigilante justice.” I smirked.

  I raised the hammer and hit the tracking device with such force, it broke into a couple pieces. The blow dented the floor pretty badly, as well. I looked up. “Sorry, Mom. I hope you can forgive me.” I looked back down on Kellan. I felt alive again. My adrenaline was pumping furiously through my veins. I could feel my blood pressure peaking. My face was tingling, and my heart was pounding in my chest. I was ready for war.