Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

  “Like you and Claire aren’t on each other all of the time.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. How dare he judge us!

  “Actually, right now, we aren’t. She has been too tired and nauseous. My shit’s all up in a knot. And why am I discussing this with you?”

  So sad for him, I thought, as I rolled my eyes. “You started it. And yes, you can stop at any time,” I said with an annoyed tone.

  “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Justin is going with us. He and Rosa had it out pretty good. She ended up walking away from him and slamming her door in his face. It was a little awkward to witness. Kind of like when you two fight in front of everyone.” I rolled my eyes. Wait…were Henry and I that bad?

  “Alright, let me get some stuff packed up, and we’ll head out in a few.” Henry took my hand and we walked back to the house. He guided me to the couch and had me sit down. He knew that I would have a meltdown if I watched him pack up.

  Justin approached Henry with caution. “Did Nick tell you that I’m going with you?”

  Henry looked up at him. “Yes. Have you fired a gun before?”

  “Yeah. I used to go hunting with my dad.”

  “Oh, yeah? Were you any good?”

  “I think so. I used to use a thirty-thirty pump. Got a few good sized bucks.”

  “Brilliant! You handled the recoil well?”

  “Yeah.”

  Henry fist bumped Justin. “Alright then.” Henry grabbed another rifle out of his cache. He handed Justin some of the supplies he wanted to take, and told him to start loading the truck. He was more than willing to help out.

  Justin seemed like the typical seventeen-year-old boy. Not quite a man yet, but he was ready to prove that he wasn’t a boy, either. I understood why Rosa was angry. She didn’t want to lose him. I knew that feeling all too well.

  Once everything was loaded, including the elusive pack, Henry spoke to Addie, while she busied herself around the house. “I’ll take care of him and bring him back,” he said in a gentle tone.

  “I know you will. Take care of yourself, as well.” Henry smiled and turned away to face everyone else.

  “You boys ready?”

  “Justin, don’t lead them toward any of the big box stores,” Addie instructed. “It’ll be a mess there. Head out to the area where Vicker’s General is.”

  “Gotcha, Mrs. Mac.” Addie rubbed his shoulders.

  “Go say goodbye to Rosa. She’ll be terribly sad if you don’t.” Justin nodded and slowly walked toward Rosa’s bedroom. I saw Henry hug Julianna and kiss her on the forehead. Then he looked over at me. I was already sitting on the couch like a lost puppy, and they hadn’t even left yet. Henry kneeled down in front of me.

  “Don’t say it,” I whispered. I couldn’t look at him.

  “I’m not, and I won’t.” He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. He kissed each of my cheeks and ran his thumb across my lips. “I love you so much. I want you to remember that.” I could hear the fear in his words. He was afraid he wouldn’t come back to me, but it was the first time he showed it.

  “I love you, too.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held me for a minute or two. “Tell me you’ll come back,” I said quietly in his ear.

  “I will. Have faith that I will.” He kissed me again and stood up. As he walked to the door, I saw Nick and Claire break their embrace. She was sobbing as he knelt down and kissed her stomach. It was such a sweet and loving gesture to witness.

  “Everyone ready?” Justin said as he walked out of Rosa’s bedroom. She stood in the doorway of her room, watching everyone. I saw Henry give her a slight wave, and he turned around to open the door. He took one last quick peek at me and left.

  I stood up and watched them through the window. Henry saw me as he hopped into his truck. I put my hand up to the window, and he held up his, as well. I watched them back out of the driveway and drive off.

  “Ms. Elaina! Ms. Elaina!” Julianna was pulling on my shirt. I looked down at her, and the tears ran down my face. “What’s wrong?”

  I kneeled down to her level and whispered, “I miss Mr. Henry already.”

  “Me, too. I like him a lot.”

  I smiled. “Me, too, Julianna.” I hugged her. “Me, too.”

  Chaper 39

  T

  he truck barreled down the country road until they got to the same intersection that the school was on. “Take a left. That’ll take us to the smaller stores.” Justin sat shotgun, navigating.

  “Let’s check the parking lot at the school for cars with gas first. I wanted to do that when we rescued you guys, but that didn’t work out so well.”

  Henry pulled across the road and into the parking lot. He started at the row of cars closest to the road. They were in luck. Most of them were untouched so he figured that they would have a ready supply of gas.

  After topping off the tank and scavenging for anything useful, they headed out. Justin seemed rather giddy to go on the little adventure. Henry glanced over at him, seeing his excitement. He chuckled a little.

  “What?” Justin asked. Henry laughed again. Justin threw him a curious look.

  “It’s funny to see how excited you are to go scavenging.”

  “I was cooped up for quite some time with three girls, one of whom was my ex.”

  “That must have been awkward,” Nick said from the back.

  “No, not really. We were still friends after we broke up. I still love her.” He looked down at his hands.

  “Ah, yes, puppy love. Been there myself, mate.” Henry smiled as he thought of how his heart fluttered the first time he saw Sophie. Then he took a deep breath, reliving her true death once again. He cleared his throat, and yelled back to Thomas, “How about you, Thomas? Been in love recently?”

  “Shut up,” he mumbled. Henry laughed.

  They continued to drive until they came up on a town with a couple small storefronts. “I feel like we turned back time a little here,” Henry murmured.

  He was amused by the vintage feel the town had. He slowed down when an undead staggered across the road in front of them. When he decided he would just park right in the road, he saw a small herd staggering around on each side. Henry pulled his hunting knife from his vest.

  “Everyone ready? We’ll start on the left and move to the right.” Justin took a deep breath. “You alright, mate? Regretting your decision?”

  “No, just a little nervous.”

  “Follow my lead and you’ll do fine. You were brilliant at the school.” Henry patted Justin on the shoulder, then jumped out and slammed the truck door.

  Immediately, the undeads sniffed the air and turned toward Henry. Nick, Thomas, and Justin joined him. Henry whistled, and they began staggering toward them. He tilted his neck from side to side, making it crack. Then he smiled and shifted into program mode.

  “I’ve got this,” he said in a monotone voice.

  Henry broke away from the rest and made a run for the undeads. Justin started to go, as well, but Nick grabbed him. “What?”

  “Just watch and learn from the master.” Justin watched as Henry approached the first undead male, who was swatting at him.

  “Is that all you got?” Henry yelled. The undead swatted at him again, and Henry dodged him. Then he lunged, and Henry came back with a knife to the skull. There was a sickening crunch and the undead man hit the ground.

  “He’s fucking batty, isn’t he?” Justin was stunned. Nick and Thomas laughed.

  “Just keep watching.” Henry ran to the next one. Her clothes were torn and she was dragging her leg, which was obviously where she was initially attacked. He drove his knife into the female’s head. He yanked out his knife, and took off after two that were staggering together.

  They had to have been in that state for quite some time because both were missing chunks of flesh on the exposed parts of their bodies. They were gray, and the smell of death was heavy around them. Henry jammed the knife into one while delivering a roundho
use kick to the other. The body split in two, mid-chest.

  “Oh, shit!” Nick yelled. The splat of rotting flesh and organs hitting the ground made Justin retch. Henry dropped to his knees and jammed his knife into the two piece, gutted undead man. “Eleven o’clock!” Nick yelled.

  Henry got up and jumped over the gory piles of the true deads. With amazing precision, he threw the knife across the way and it landed in the side of the undead man’s head. Henry stood there for a moment and surveyed the corpses on the ground, making sure they were all true dead. He walked over to the one he just finished off and, with a shudder, yanked the knife out of the man’s head. He slipped back into reality.

  “Shut the fuck up,” Justin muttered. “How did he do that?” Thomas and Nick laughed.

  “He’s a badass. What can I say? Hey, Daniels!” Nick shouted. Henry looked at him. “You got those,” Nick nodded toward the other side of the road, “or do you want us to get them?”

  “Go for it.” Nick didn’t hesitate for a second. Thomas and Justin followed behind.

  Henry picked the lock at the general store, while the others finished off the undeads. He opened the door, and the smell of death hit him hard. He bent over from the sudden onslaught. He felt his stomach lurch and he started coughing. He let the door shut.

  “You alright?” Nick ran over and knelt down to Henry. Henry wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

  “It’s bad in there. Really, fucking bad. Worse than the school, for some reason.” The coughing slowed down.

  “If you think it’s bad…”

  “Yeah. I’m not sure if I can go in there.” Henry stood back up and looked at the storefront. “But I don’t really have a choice. If there is food and drinks in there…”

  Thomas pulled the scarf off that he had hanging on his neck. “Here.” He handed it to Henry, who tied the scarf around his nose and mouth. He took a couple deep breaths, jumping up and down to get his adrenaline pumping before he opened the door again. The pungent odor rolled out of the store and took his breath away.

  Henry was in the shop for about five minutes. Nick was standing at the door, watching him run up and down the aisles, grabbing whatever he could. He saw Henry stop toward the back of the store, and his whole body sagged. He stood there for a moment shaking his head, and then he blew back out through the door, ripping the scarf from his face. He fell to his knees, vomiting.

  That was a first for Henry. He had seen a lot, done a lot, but never once had he thrown up. He had felt queasy or gagged a few times, but never vomiting over anything but pain or drunkenness. Nick helped Henry up, walking him over to the Tahoe. He opened the door so Henry could sit down for a second.

  “Thomas, Justin, gather what he brought out and put it in the back.” Then Nick focused his attention on Henry, who was still was reeling. “You alright? Let me get you a bottle of water.”

  Nick reached into his pack and grabbed his only bottle. Henry reluctantly took it and rinsed his mouth out a few times.

  “Let’s head back. You don’t look so hot.” Henry nodded and turned to the steering wheel. He lay back in the seat for a moment before he started the truck. The others filed in once they got all the supplies secured in the back. Henry was still lying back in the seat.

  “What happened in there?” Justin whispered.

  “A fucking gory mess. That’s all I’ll say about it. I need a drink,” he mumbled.

  “But what…?” Justin began.

  “Just leave it!” Henry screamed, startling everyone. He put the truck into gear and headed back toward Addie’s.

  ***

  It was near nightfall by the time Henry pulled the truck into Addie’s driveway. Claire and I ran out of the house as he slammed it into park and shut it off. Nick patted him on the shoulder and hopped out. Henry had his forehead rested against the steering wheel.

  “Is he alright?” I asked Nick as he rounded the front end of the truck.

  “I don’t know. He saw something in the store and refuses to speak about it. When he made it out of the store, he was vomiting. He never does that.”

  I slowly walked up to the truck door and opened it. “Henry?” He didn’t turn my way. “I’m glad you’re back.” I stepped up on the side step. I brushed my fingers through his hair. He looked at me, and his eyes were blood shot. “Hey.” He swallowed hard. “Want to talk about it?” He shook his head. “Henry…it’s obvious that something is really bothering you. Please talk to me.” I waited for a few seconds before I took his hand and guided him out of the truck. I decided to just take him somewhere he could have privacy, just in case he had another one of his epic meltdowns.

  We sat in the barn, watching the rest of the sunset. I was lying with my head on his lap. He played with my hair like he always did, while staring blankly off into the distance. I wondered if it comforted him as much as it did me. It was quite some time before he even said anything.

  “I’ve seen a lot of shit, Elaina, but today…,” he swallowed, “today tops it.” He covered his eyes, pushing the heels of his palms into them, and his body began to shake as the silent tears poured out. I sat up and grabbed him. Holding him, rocking him, loving on him.

  “Henry, tell me what you saw.”

  “I can’t!” he cried. “I can’t.” His shoulders shook as his silent cries turned into sobs.

  “Shh…” I ran my hands through his hair, trying to comfort him. “I’m here for you, lover. I’ve got you.” I held him tight while he sobbed into my shoulder. It was difficult for me to witness. I hated it when he was so upset that he couldn’t string more than two words together.

  Eventually, he calmed down enough to look me in the eye. What a mess he was. His eyes were red and swollen. He had bits of vomit and gore on his shirt. I held his face in my hands.

  “Talk to me,” I whispered, and then I took his hands. “I want to help you through whatever is going on.”

  “It was the most horrific, gruesome scene that I have ever witnessed.” He looked down at our hands. I was holding both of his, gently rubbing my thumbs across them. “I’m not sure if they were related, but…” He shuddered. “Not that it matters. There were several woman, and so many children. Babies,” he whispered. “Lots of babies and itty-bitty children. All dead. Shot in the head. They were executed,” he whispered.

  “Oh, god…”

  “I don’t know why they were in the store, but they were piled up like livestock. The doors were locked. It was like they purposely did what they did.”

  “That may be the case. They may not have seen another way around it.” I rubbed his shoulders, and he looked up at me. “I love you so much.”

  He wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, too.” We quietly held one another. I needed to hold him together.

  “Come on. It’s cold out here. Let’s get you inside so you can clean up.” I stood and held out my hand to help him up. He curled his lips into his mouth and accepted my help. As we were leaving the barn, Nick and Addie were heading our way.

  “We were getting worried,” Addie said. “How are you doing?”

  “He saw something today that really affected him.” Henry was looking around, scanning the area and trying to avoid everyone’s eyes. Addie took Henry by the shoulders, forcing herself into his field of vision.

  “Anything you need to discuss?” He sucked in some air and his breath shook as he let it back out. He shook his head. “Are you sure, hon?” His eyes filled with tears. “Oh no. Please don’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t intend on making you more upset.” She hugged him and held him for a minute.

  It made me tear up, seeing someone who was old enough to be his mother, but barely knew him, wanting nothing more than to comfort that wreck of a man that I called mine. She pulled back, and he wiped the tears from his face with his bandaged hand. She took at his hand and saw the gore on the bandage.

  “Let’s go change this.” He nodded. I watched Henry and his surrogate mother go back inside.

  Nick put his arm aroun
d my shoulders. “You alright, Lainy?”

  “He didn’t tell you?”

  “No. I didn’t dare after he nearly bit off Justin’s head. He busted out of the store and fell to his knees, vomiting. After he finished, I escorted him to the truck. Whatever he saw really fucked with him.”

  “Don’t say anything to him about it again. Ever.”

  “What did he see?”

  I wasn’t sure if I should say anything but, after a few seconds, I decided to. “Promise me you will never ask him about it after I tell you.”

  “Of course I won’t.”

  “He said there were a lot of women, children, and babies…all shot. Executed. And they were stacked up.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “It really hit him hard. He cried for so long that I didn’t think he was going to stop. I hope I comforted him some, but I don’t know. He’s a mess.”

  “I’m sure. Let’s go inside so you can check on him.”

  I walked in the house, and everyone looked at me like I had a rooster perched on my head. I looked toward the bathroom, but I didn’t see Henry or Addie.

  “Where are they?”

  “Spare room,” Claire whispered. “He’s having one of his Henry-sized meltdowns.”

  “Shit.” I ran toward the door and listened. He was crying again. I knocked while swinging open the door.

  Henry was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. Addie was rubbing his back. She looked up at me and her face was full of concern. I sat down on my knees in front Henry.

  “Lover…please don’t do this to yourself.” He took a sip from the bottle.

  “It’s tearing me up.” He took a long pull.

  “I know. Believe me, I can see that.”

  Another long pull. “It’s my fault.” I worried how much he told Addie. He took another sip. Before I knew it, half the bottle was already gone.

  “Henry, you know that’s not true.” He just looked at me, and my heart bled for him. The anguish and sadness went deep. He was so fucked up. I had so much rage directed toward Roger and his motherfucking program. The cruelty of it all was what really made me angry the most. I looked at Addie.