A Sweethaven Summer

by Courtney Walsh

  “No. It was your idea. It’s your book. We all agreed. We did our pages from this past summer, but we left a couple of blank ones. For you to scrapbook your summer. The baby and everything.” Jane smiled, but Suzanne looked troubled.

  “I missed this,” she said. Tears filled her eyes.

  Jane studied her friend. “What’s going on, Suzanne? What’s wrong?” Jane laid a hand on Suzanne’s arm.

  “Nothing.” She closed the book and hugged it to her chest. “I will treasure this always.” She pulled Jane into a tight hug. “Will you tell Lila and Meg I love them?”

  “What do you mean? We can all get together. Maybe we can come see you or something. You really don’t think you’ll ever come back to Sweethaven? It’s not the same without you.”

  Suzanne paused, then looked away. “Things are kind of a mess right now.”

  Jane glanced at the sleeping baby in Suzanne’s back seat. “Can I do anything?”

  Suzanne shook her head. “I’m fine. Just gotta figure some things out.”

  A helpless feeling washed over Jane like a splash of ice water.

  “I should let you get to your game.” Suzanne opened the car door.

  “Can I ask you one more thing?”

  Suzanne turned and looked at Jane. “Anything.”

  Jane set her jaw and then blurted out, “Who’s the dad?”

  Suzanne studied the road with an odd intensity. “It’s kind of complicated, Janie.”

  Suzanne’s refusal hit her like a punch in the gut. “Okay.” She considered guessing—throwing names out there and judging Suzanne’s reactions—but decided against it. If Suzanne wanted to tell her, she would. No sense pushing the issue and making herself feel more like a fool. “Well, if you need me, I’m here, okay?”

  Suzanne nodded again. “Thanks for the scrapbook, Jane. I really appreciate it. It’ll keep us all together.”

  Jane smiled. “Call me when you get back home, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  Suzanne closed the car door and waved before she drove away.

  But she never called.

  And Jane never saw her again.

  Campbell watched Jane as she recounted that day. Clearly she blamed herself for not realizing how badly her mom needed help.

  “Do you think they kicked her out that day?” Campbell asked.

  Jane shrugged. “I don’t know. As a parent, I can’t imagine ever doing that to my daughter, but Cathy—your grandmother—well, she was pretty stubborn. She might’ve kicked her out just to prove a point.”

  “And they never worked things out?”

  “I don’t think so, hon. I always hoped they’d made their peace, but I guess not.”

  Campbell stood and began folding then re-folding the same T-shirt. She couldn’t understand why her mom lied to her all those years about having extended family, why she didn’t make things right with her own mother. It contradicted everything she knew about her mom. “It’s hard to believe. Mom and I were so close. I can’t imagine her having such a bad relationship with her own mother.”

  “Suzanne obviously wanted to be a different kind of mom. She did a good job with you, Campbell.”

  Campbell zipped the bag, then met Jane’s eyes. She allowed a weak smile. “But what about that scrapbook? If you gave it back to Mom, why didn’t she have the entire thing?”

  Jane sighed. “The following summer, it arrived on my doorstep. Your mom wanted The Circle to continue, and she knew it wouldn’t if we didn’t have the book. We tried, but it just wasn’t the same without Suzanne. In the end, Adele talked us into splitting it up. That way, we each got part of the memories. We went through and each took out our favorite pages, setting aside the ones we thought your mom should have.”

  “But it’ll never be complete again,” Campbell said.

  “Not unless Meghan sends us her pages.”

  “Or comes back.” Campbell watched Jane’s expression change.

  Jane stuttered, fumbled for words.

  “Why do you think she’s not here?”

  “I couldn’t say,” Jane said simply. “I haven’t spoken to her in over six years.”

  “Can I ask why?” Campbell avoided Jane’s eyes, scanning the guest room one last time for anything she might have missed.

  Jane took a deep breath. “It’s a story for another day, I think.” She stood and looked at Campbell. “I keep wondering what would’ve happened if I’d stayed with her that night instead of going to meet Graham at the football game.”

  “You might not be married to him,” Campbell said.

  “Or I might never have lost touch with your mom.” Regret cooled Jane’s face. “I hate all these ‘what-ifs.’ ” She turned to leave. “I’m sorry you’re finding this all out right after losing your mom. It’s so unfair.”

  “Life isn’t fair.” Campbell flipped the lid of the suitcase and zipped it up.

  “Adele and Lila and I already started a list of possibilities. Who knows, maybe it was someone in that art class.”

  “Maybe.”

  “If you stay we could—”

  Campbell cut her off. “I’ll think about it.”

  She remembered Lila’s speculation that her mother hadn’t loved the guy. How it’d just been a terrible mistake—one that had cost her mother everything. Friends. Parents. A future. How different would things have been if she’d given Campbell away—or never had her at all?

  The threat of having her heart broken, or running into her grandfather again, wrung out her insides like a sponge.

  She’d lost her courage. She needed to go. She couldn’t endure the pain of uncovering more of Mom’s secrets. It had started to change the way she felt about her mother, and Campbell couldn’t risk that.

  She slung her bag over her shoulder.

  “Good-bye, Jane.”

  SIXTEEN

  Campbell

  The quiet of the car should’ve comforted her, but Campbell’s thoughts somersaulted through her mind, making peace impossible. She’d made the right choice. Leaving Sweethaven—leaving her mom’s friends and her not-dead grandfather—was the right thing to do. So why did she now find herself parked at the Boardwalk, admiring the full moon glowing behind the lighthouse? Why couldn’t she drive straight out of town and keep on going until she reached Tee Street—her mom’s house?

  Campbell got out of the car and walked along the lake, reminded again that she was far from the city. She replayed the moment she stood face to face with her grandfather—a man she didn’t know existed. He’d been there all along, only a couple of hours away. But he’d never tried to find them. He hadn’t cared enough about her or Mom to right the wrongs of the past.

  She shook the thoughts away, but she knew the pain of his rejection was nothing compared to what she’d feel if she discovered her father had abandoned her in the same way.

  Leaving had to be the right thing.

  She pulled her sweatshirt around her torso and hugged herself, walking back to the car. She turned the key in the ignition and hit Seek on the radio. A little music would drown out the thoughts bombardingher mind.

  The tug of war between her head and her heart had left her exhausted, and suddenly the only thing she wanted was to get back to Mom’s house, where she could sleep for the next three days.

  But when the radio stopped on a station playing “When You Say Nothin’ at All” by Alison Krauss, Campbell’s eyes filled with tears. Mom’s favorite song. The words didn’t fit every sad situation that had come her way, but it didn’t matter—it was Mom’s go-to song, the one that always comforted her.

  Mom had never been much of a singer, but it didn’t stop her. Whenever she’d had a broken heart, Campbell could count on Mom smoothing her hair away from her face and singing that song until the pain finally started to dull.

  She stopped the car in the parking lot and rested her head on the steering wheel.

  “Mom, why didn’t you just tell me what you wanted me to know instead of making me
go figure it all out for myself?” A tear fell onto her jeans, leaving a wet dot just above her knee.

  The song filled the car, like a much-needed hug from her mother that told her she could go on. She had questions and Sweethaven had answers. If she left now, she’d never work up the courage to come back.

  Could she muster the strength right now to do it? No matter the cost of what she discovered?

  “This is gonna sting a little,” Campbell said as she put the car in drive. As she headed back toward Elm Street, she imagined what she’d say if she ran into her grandfather again, but quickly put an end to that line of thinking as Adele’s house came into view.

  The living room lights illuminated the front of the house, and two cars still sat outside. Lila and Jane hadn’t left yet. Would they forgive her for taking off? Maybe they wanted no part of this drama.

  But she had to try.

  She walked up to the door and knocked. Seconds later, Adele appeared on the other side of the screen. She didn’t say a word, simply opened the door and ushered Campbell back into the room as if she’d never left.

  Jane’s and Lila’s surprised expressions faded into understanding, and they made room for her to sit with them. Luke shifted in his seat and avoided her eyes.

  Adele took her hand and squeezed it. After several beats of silence, Adele said, “There are two options. We can call it a day right now. Or,” her voice slowed, “if you’re up for it, the girls and I were thinking we could get out the scrapbook pages and do a little detective work. See if we can’t piece together who your daddy is.”

  Campbell stared at the three women, all wearing the same hopeful expression. Her insecurities faded as she realized they really wanted to help her. She hadn’t imagined she could ever have a daddy. She liked the way it sounded. Her nod of agreement was met with three smiles.

  “I’ll go get the coffee.” Adele disappeared into the kitchen.

  “We’ll go get our pages. Come on, Lila.” Jane hopped up, grabbed Lila’s arm, and exited the room, leaving Campbell and Luke alone.

  He stood and took a couple steps toward her, forcing her gaze. She pressed her lips together and squared her jaw. Stubborn, her mom would say.

  Luke took her hands and kept his eyes fixed on hers. “I really am sorry you found out that way. If I’d known—if I’d been thinking—I would’ve handled that differently.”

  The apology hung between them, waiting for her response. His stare unnerved her until finally she looked away. “It’s okay.”

  “I promise if I think of anything else, I’ll tell you right away.”

  She nodded.

  Adele burst back in the room carrying a tray of coffee and assorted creamers. Jane and Lila were right behind her.

  Luke glanced at them, then back at Campbell. “I should go. Thanks for dinner, Ma,” he said. He hugged Lila, then Jane, then Adele. Then he stopped in front of Campbell and pulled her into a gentle hug. “Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Her arms didn’t move. They were locked at her sides. He pulled away, waved, and then walked out. Campbell heard the sound of the front door closing behind him, and a hint of sadness wound around her heart.

  “What’s that about?” Lila wore a knowing grin, her tone playfully accusatory.

  “What do you mean?” Campbell crossed her arms.

  “Are you blushing? I can’t tell for sure, but I think you’re blushing.” Jane giggled. “He’s so dreamy.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Campbell turned her cell phone over in her hand, staring at it as if she’d never seen it before.

  “He’s a good catch, hon.” Adele put an arm around her. “But he’s been hurt before, so he doesn’t usually put himself out there. I think he likes you.”

  “Can I get some of that coffee, Adele? Coffee would be wonderful right now.” Campbell stared at the floor.

  “Good idea, hon. We could all use a little something warm in our bellies.” Adele poured four mugs of coffee and handed them around to the others.

  Lila nestled into an old armchair, Jane and Campbell on the couch. Adele stood until everyone had found a spot and then settled in a white rocking chair with a big cushion.

  “This chair is so comfortable, Adele.” Lila fixed the pillow around her.

  “Well, it’s probably worn to my backside, but you’re right, it’s a comfy one. I like everything in my house to be comfortable.”

  Perhaps Adele had been her mother’s inspiration.

  “It is, just like always.” Jane hugged a pillow over her midsection.

  Conversation lagged and silence filled the room. Campbell shifted and pulled her legs up under her. How could she convince her mom’s friends to tell her everything they remembered? To divulge their secrets? Surely they’d known her father. Sweethaven wasn’t a big town. Maybe they just needed their memories jogged.

  “Tell us about her.” Jane interrupted Campbell’s thoughts. “Your mother. Your life.”

  Campbell glanced at Adele, who smiled but said nothing. “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything.” Jane pulled her legs up on the couch and settled in, as if Campbell had an entire night’s worth of stories to tell. But Campbell was the one with questions. Like why hadn’t her mother told her anything about them—or Sweethaven? Or that she had a grandfather?

  “I wouldn’t know where to start,” she said.

  Didn’t her mom’s friends know it was all she could do not to run screaming from the house? She had no tolerance for small talk.

  Lila sat tall in the cushy recliner, her posture perfect, her chin just high enough to look down on the rest of the room. “What did she end up doing? Something with her art?”

  Campbell nodded, the knot in her stomach loosening just a bit. “She taught at my high school. It was always just the two of us, but she still went back to school and became a teacher.”

  “What did she tell you about her parents, hon?” Jane’s brow furrowed.

  “Just what I told you. That they died in a car accident right after I was born.”

  Confused glances criss-crossed the room.

  “Why would she tell me that if it wasn’t true? Is my grandmother alive too?” Her voice broke and she chastised herself for being so weak.

  “It’s complicated, darlin’.” Adele’s smile failed to comfort Campbell.

  “I deserve to know the truth. Don’t I?” She looked at them, one by one, but no one responded.

  * * * * *

  Jane

  Jane’s heart broke when she realized Suzanne had lied to her own daughter. Had she planned to tell Campbell the truth about them too? How was it she’d slipped into a coma the very day she intended to come clean about the past? Jane knew Suzanne had had a rocky relationship with her parents—even more so after her pregnancy—but she always hoped they would work it out. Apparently, they hadn’t. And their rift was serious enough for Suzanne to keep them from knowing their only granddaughter.

  What had happened all those years ago to make her hate her parents that much? They’d speculated, but none of them knew for sure.

  She could see Campbell’s confusion—and they’d only just started talking. What else didn’t she know?

  Jane’s heart sank. Campbell had deserved to know her grandfather still lived around the corner on Juniper Drive, and she also deserved to know her grandmother had died only a few years ago. She knew because she’d attended the funeral. She saw the way it broke the old man’s heart to bury his wife—even though the woman had turned into a bitter, angry thing.

  Adele fidgeted across the room. “Campbell, hon, there are some things we need to tell you. I imagine they are things your mama planned to tell you—and I do wish you were hearin’ all this from her.”

  “It’s okay, Adele. I need to know,” Campbell said. “Even if it hurts.”

  Adele glanced at the coffee table. “Why don’t we start with the scrapbook?”

  Three piles of scrapbook pages sat on the table b
etween them. Their memories, their past, their childhood stared at them, reminded them of all they’d been.

  They’d all had such dreams back then.

  “This isn’t right.” Lila looked at Adele.

  “What’s not?” Jane asked, afraid Lila would jump in before Adele had a chance to explain things to Campbell. Adele had a softness that Lila didn’t.

  “Where’s Meghan for starters? Didn’t she get a card? Can you call her, Adele?”

  The questions seemed to stun Adele. “I—I—I could try calling her, I guess.” The old woman glanced at Jane, whose muscles clenched at the mention of Meg’s name.

  “She’s got two beautiful kids right here in Sweethaven, and when was the last time she saw them?” Lila crossed her long legs and stared at Adele.

  “Too long ago. Almost two years, I think.”

  Lila shook her head.

  Tension wormed its way through the room as the three of them danced around their unspoken secrets. Jane studied the floorboard, willing the grief back in its hole. She couldn’t think of Meghan without thinking of Alex.

  Finally, Adele stood. “I think I’ll get more cream,” she said. “Would anyone else like some?”

  Neither Jane nor Lila responded.

  “I’d love some, Adele,” Campbell said.

  In seconds, every good memory she had seemed to float away, carried off on a wave of sadness. Sadness that threatened to tear Jane in half. She stood. “I’m going to use the restroom.” She walked toward the bathroom and tried not to make it look like she was escaping.

  In the solace of the tiny pink powder room, Jane leaned over the sink and inhaled while she counted to ten.

  Why did Lila have to be so thoughtless?

  Jane forced herself not to cry. She shouldn’t have come. She should’ve stayed home with her stack of pages and the comfort of Graham’s arms. Feeling the grief hurt in a way she didn’t have the capacity to handle. Jane had mastered the fine art of not completely feeling her emotions. If this continued, the heaviness might crush her.

  “You’re okay,” she said to her reflection. “You can do this.” One more deep breath and Jane went back to the living room. At the same time, Adele returned with a small pitcher of cream. “I brought extra in case anyone changes their mind,” she said. She glanced at Lila. “Maybe we can focus on Campbell instead of digging up the past?”