A Sweethaven Summer

by Courtney Walsh

  “Darlin’, if you think I can read that small scribble, you are outta your mind. Just tell me what it says.” Adele pulled four apples from the fridge and set them on the counter.

  On the side of the page, one of the girls had hand-written bubble letters to spell out the title “The Boon Docks.” Inside the bubble letters was one of Suzanne’s hidden “true confessions.”

  “It says, ‘I have a secret crush. No one can ever know. He’s around all the time, and it’s getting harder to pretend.’ ”

  Adele frowned.

  “I was thinking about it this morning. Who did we know back then? And then I remembered about Mark Davis.”

  “Mark Davis? The doctor’s son?”

  Lila nodded. “He, Tom, Nick, and that other kid, Gunther. They were always around. Especially the last couple summers we all spent together. Jane had a terrible crush on Mark. And you know Jane—she was so painfully shy. Suzanne warned me to stay away from him—said he liked me, but maybe she wasn’t looking out for Jane. Maybe she was looking out for herself.”

  “You think Suzanne and this boy carried on a secret affair?”

  Lila laughed. “I don’t think I’d call it an affair. She was only seventeen.”

  “What would you call it then?”

  Lila shrugged. “A mistake.”

  “At any rate, how do you intend to prove it?” Adele sat down.

  “I’m not sure. I thought I’d start with Jane. I mean, she and Mark were good friends. Maybe he told her.”

  “True, but don’t you think she would’ve mentioned it by now?”

  “I don’t know.” Lila stood. “I’m going over to Jane’s house. Want to come with me?”

  “No, but invite her here for dinner. Her family too if they’ve arrived. I told her already, but she won’t come unless we bug her.”

  “Her family’s coming?”

  “Might already be here.”

  Lila left Adele’s and drove toward Jane’s house. How familiar it felt to be back in town after all these years. It amazed her how easily she fell back into the Sweethaven groove, where life was slower paced and laid back. She’d forgotten how much she needed that. Several people had gathered in the Square to set up for the Blossom Festival. By the weekend, this place would be filled with tourists and visitors and summer residents, all out to enjoy the music and food, the vineyards and orchards, the charm and beauty of the place she’d abandoned all those years ago.

  In that moment, she decided never to ignore Sweethaven again. Tom might not enjoy it as much as he used to, but being back here, Lila knew she needed it in her life. Mama and Daddy had offered her the lake house years ago, but she’d refused. Tom wouldn’t come with her so what was the point? It had been so important to him to get out of his hometown—to make something of himself. Why didn’t he want to come back now that he’d accomplished that goal?

  She picked up her cell phone—just out of curiosity—but she hadn’t missed any calls and Tom hadn’t left her a message. As she drove, the same question kept running through her mind: where did they go wrong?

  TWENTY-SIX

  Jane

  Jane hung up the phone and stared at the clock. Graham said they’d just exited I-94 onto Main Street and were only a few minutes away.

  She held the small blue scrapbook in her hands. It had been therapy, making that book. She’d done it alone, in the dark of night, without the daughters she usually scrapped with. She’d created it to comfort herself, but now it had the opposite effect on her. Rather than soothing her, it drew every ounce of stuffed-down emotion to the surface—the ones she usually buried with chocolate cake and sugar cookies.

  She lifted the cover and saw his face smiling at her. He’d been only six years old, with a wide gap in his mouth where two front teeth used to be. Beautiful boy. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. She sniffed and wiped them away. Six years had passed and she’d carried the pain of losing him like a satchel on her back.

  A honk sounded outside, and she snapped the scrapbook closed. The minivan pulled into the driveway. Jane hid the book at the bottom of her suitcase. She checked her mascara in the mirror and paused at the sight of her ordinary features and chubby cheeks.

  She forced a smile in an attempt to prepare for their arrival. After all, she welcomed the distraction of their presence. No more agonizing silence.

  She walked to the front door and opened it just in time to meet her girls as they came up the front steps.

  After pulling them both into a tight hug, Jane pulled back and looked at the two of them. Beautiful girls. Both brunettes with Graham’s icy-blue eyes. Did they remember that day as clearly as she did? Did being back here dredge up the past like raw sewage in a backed-up gutter?

  Emily walked past her and set her bags down in the entryway. Jenna locked eyes with her for a long moment, and Jane finally had to break the gaze. She knew Jenna felt responsible. She knew the pain that guilt brought with it. They had that in common.

  She strengthened herself for her daughter’s sake and hugged her again. Sam’s shouts as he ran up the walk interrupted the moment, and Jenna pulled away. She gave her mom one last knowing look before she headed toward the bedrooms.

  “Mom, this is so cool!” Sam’s little-boy voice echoed through the entryway, and within seconds the house that had taunted her with silence had filled with squeals of joy. He ran past her and explored their cottage—their home away from home, the place he’d never been allowed to visit.

  Graham stood in the doorway, his arms loaded with bags, and stared at her.

  “It feels so wrong,” she said.

  He took a step in and dropped the bags. “Alex wouldn’t want you to stay sad forever.”

  “But being here—in this place—the last place where we were all a family…” Jane stared at him through tear-filled eyes.

  She remembered reaching the top of the dune leading down to the beach, the red and blue ambulance lights twirling and flashing, sending panic straight into Jane’s soul. When she saw the girls standing in the sand, holding each other and crying, she broke into a run. Lucky barked. Meg, soaked to her core, stood on the beach, hovering over a small circle of paramedics.

  As she approached, Jane saw they were surrounding Alex, who lay limp on the hot sand.

  “Mom!” The girls ran to her.

  Jane fell to the ground. “Alex?” She crawled closer, barreling her way through the paramedics. One of them administered mouth to mouth, but Alex didn’t respond.

  “God, no,” Jane prayed.

  Emily cried and clung to Jenna.

  The EMT stopped trying to breathe for Alex and looked at the other paramedic. He shook his head.

  “You aren’t going to stop, are you?” Jane’s voice sounded shrill in her own ears. “You can’t stop! That’s my son.”

  She watched as they loaded Alex’s tiny body into the ambulance.

  Meghan took a step closer and put a hand on Jane’s shoulder. Jane shrugged her off and glared at her. “I’ll never forgive you.”

  The paramedic extended a hand in Jane’s direction. “Ma’am, we’ve got to close this now.”

  Jane watched as they continued CPR, but the life had gone from his body. In that moment, she knew.

  Her son, her Alex, was gone.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Lila

  Lila pulled onto Lilac Lane and drove past the cottage where Mark Davis had lived, just down the street from Jane. Did his family still own it? They were seasonal, so it’s not likely they would’ve sold it unless they had to.

  Jane’s family cottage sat at the center of a cul-de-sac, its back yard jutting up to the lake. Her family had never had money. How they came upon the quaint white cottage with black shutters had always been a mystery. Jane seemed to think someone left it to her grandparents in their will.

  Lila saw two cars in the driveway, the one Jane had been driving and a blue minivan. So that’s what Jane had become. A soccer mom. She’d expected nothing more from her friend.
No one had. Jane was built for motherhood.

  Which is why it had to have been that much more painful to lose her son.

  Despite the passing judgment, Lila envied Jane’s life. Her friend had everything that mattered—and Lila had everything else.

  She knocked on the door, and a little dark-headed boy opened it and stared at her with big blue eyes.

  “Hi.” Lila smiled.

  “Mom, there’s a lady at the door.”

  “Sam!” Jane’s muffled voice trailed outside. “You are not supposed to open the door to strangers.” She spotted Lila. “Oh, thank heavens it’s just you.”

  “You know her?” Sam stared at his mom.

  “Yes, Sam, this is my friend Lila.”

  He shrugged. “Guess she’s not a stranger then.”

  “Go play.” Jane swatted his behind with a dishtowel. “He’s all ham, that one.”

  Jane unlocked the screen door and let Lila in.

  “Are you really worried about strangers in Sweethaven?” Lila asked.

  “No, but we won’t be here for very long, and if he gets used to it here, he’ll do it at home. And he can’t do it at home.”

  “Right.” That had never even crossed Lila’s mind. She really would’ve made a lousy mother.

  “You want something to drink?” Jane turned and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Isn’t it weird? Being in this house as the grown-up?” Lila followed her.

  Jane opened the fridge and looked inside. “I was just thinking that same thing. All those years I spent here with my mom and dad—and now I’m the mom and Graham’s the dad. I still feel like I’m nineteen most days. Only with a spare tire around my midsection.” She laughed.

  “How long will you stay?”

  “I’m not sure. Graham insists on taking the kids to the Blossom Festival. You know how I feel about this place. I was ready to leave before I even pulled into town.”

  “Still?” Lila took the tall glass of lemonade Jane offered.

  “Still. It’s not the same.” Sadness filled her eyes.

  “At least Meghan’s not here. I mean, that would make it harder, right?”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if she was telling the truth. If she watched him go under and there was nothing she could do. Those rip currents can get pretty crazy out there, and Alex was kind of a daredevil. The girls don’t even remember. They just remember turning around and he was gone. Just like that.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jane. I should’ve called.”

  Jane held a hand up to stop her. “It’s okay. I’m getting better. I spent the first couple of years angry. Even after I had Sam. I was still angry. Sam was a surprise. Right after Alex’s funeral, I found out I was three months pregnant. I felt like God gave him to us to replace Alex—and that didn’t seem fair.”

  Lila wished she understood. A bitter taste filled her mouth. How dare Jane talk about it being unfair when God had given her so many children? All she’d asked for was one. One. Was that too much to ask?

  “So, I punished God for a while. I was so angry that He took my baby. But eventually, I realized God has a bigger plan. I don’t know why Alex died that day—and you better believe I’m going to ask God when I get to heaven. But for now, I have to trust what I know about God. That He’s good. And His ways are always right. I couldn’t stay angry with Him. Not after all He’s given us.” Jane looked at her. “Who am I kidding? My head knows those things, but my heart still isn’t quite convinced.”

  Lila sipped her drink. The silence gave her a few moments to reflect. Four miscarriages. Two almost-adoptions. All the fighting between her and Tom. Two people with nothing in common but an address.

  She had many reasons to be angry with God.

  “Sam’s a doll,” Lila said.

  Jane’s face brightened. “He is, isn’t he?”

  “And I like the minivan.”

  Jane laughed—loud—and grabbed Lila’s hand. “I’ve missed you, my friend.”

  The words threatened to melt her, and Lila didn’t often melt for anyone. She pushed the sentiment aside and focused on why she’d come.

  “I found something I wanted to show you.” She pulled the Boon Docks page from her bag and set it on the table.

  Jane gasped. “This was in Suzanne’s stack.”

  Lila nodded. “Yes, and look in the title. Look close.”

  “My goodness, did you find a true confession?” Jane picked up the layout and squinted to read the tiny print. “It’s not one of mine, is it? I’d be mortified to read what I wrote then. My eyes are getting old. I can hardly read this.”

  When she finally read the sentence, her face went pale. She looked at Lila, horrified. She’d obviously put it all together.

  “It was Mark Davis.”

  Jane’s expression changed. “What?”

  “Don’t you remember? He was always hanging around that summer, but you had a crush on him—that’s why Suzanne couldn’t tell us. Because if she did, you wouldn’t have forgiven her and you two were so close.”

  “We were close,” Jane said. “But I don’t think she and Mark—”

  “Jane, it makes perfect sense. She and Mark were always flirting. I know you thought maybe he liked you, but—”

  “I didn’t. I never thought that.”

  Lila tossed her a look that said Come on, Jane.

  “I hoped. But I didn’t think that. Boys didn’t like me like that. Not until Graham.”

  The back door opened and two beautiful teenage girls entered. With long dark hair and naturally tan skin, they were built like athletes. And they both belonged to Jane.

  “Mom, that coffee shop downtown is awesome. I got a latte for like three bucks.”

  “That’s great, Em. Emily, Jenna, this is my friend Lila.”

  Two gleaming white smiles greeted her. “Nice to meet you,” they said practically in unison.

  “Is it okay if we borrow your car?” The older girl, Jenna, flipped her hair behind her shoulder. “They’re doing a fish fry down at the beach.”

  “You’re going to the beach?” Jane’s eyebrows drew downward and pain haunted her eyes.

  “We were thinking about it,” Jenna said.

  “It’s a youth fish fry, Mom. Put on by the Sweethaven Chapel. I don’t think you have to worry about anything.” Emily’s voice dripped sarcasm.

  Waves. Currents. Darkness. Plenty for a mom to worry about. At least, Lila imagined there was.

  “I don’t know about the beach, girls.”

  “Da–ad.” They both looked at their father.

  Graham stood off to the side, his arms loaded with groceries. “We’ll discuss it and let you know.” He tossed a glance at Jane then set the groceries on the counter.

  The two sisters looked at each other, exchanged eye rolls, then left the room.

  “Graham. Not the beach,” Jane said.

  “Hon, they’ll be fine.” Graham rested his hands on Jane’s shoulders and then looked at Lila. “Lila, it’s good to see you again. How’ve you been?”

  “Can’t complain.” Lila admired Graham’s eyes. Jane had really struck gold with this man. Tall, good-looking, stable, caring. Even in the way he looked at Jane, Lila could see how much he loved her. No one would say that of her and Tom.

  “All right, I’m going to go check out the grill situation for dinner tonight.” Graham gave Jane one last squeeze.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. Adele wanted me to remind you about her barbecue tonight. Pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw and the works. Don’t make me go alone, okay?”

  “Works for me,” he said. “Adele can cook for me anytime.”

  “Okay,” Jane said. “We’ll go. The thought of not having to cook again tonight is pretty appealing.”

  “Good.”

  “Then I’m going to go find Sam and see if he wants to go ride his bike or something. It’s a nice day out there.” Graham started for the door. “See you tonight, Lila.”

  Lila watched him lea
ve. “He’s a good guy, Janie.”

  “I know. The best guy.”

  “You’re lucky.”

  “He’s so good all the time. He forgave a lot easier than I did.”

  “I’ve had four miscarriages,” Lila whispered. “And two babies were almost mine, but both birth mothers changed their minds after they were born. I’ve had more almost-children than anyone I know.”

  Jane’s shoulders slumped, her expression changed. “I’m so sorry, Lila. I should’ve been there… .”

  Lila shook her head. “No. We’re not going to do that to ourselves.” She smiled, but she knew the smile did nothing to mask the sadness she felt. “I haven’t forgiven, though. I’m still angry. I never got to have a family. The one thing Daddy couldn’t buy me. Ironic, huh?”

  “You’ve lost so much. I’m so sorry.”

  Sitting in that kitchen with Jane’s support and the weight of her secret out in the open, peace began to creep into Lila’s spirit. It inched in, a little at a time, and curled up inside her like a stray kitten at her feet.

  It was a peace she hadn’t known in years. A peace she couldn’t have purchased—not for any price. A peace she hoped she could hang on to.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Campbell

  Campbell stared at the bottom of her empty coffee cup, wishing she had more caffeine. More time. More courage.

  Luke stood at the counter going over instructions with Delcy. She watched his easy way with customers, Old women smiled and laughed as soon as they saw him. Harried young moms carting small children and in dire need of coffee fixes seemed to soften in his presence.

  He glanced in her direction, checking up on her. She straightened in her seat. He could probably see right through her.

  He walked toward her table. “Let’s go for a walk.” He held a hand in her direction.

  She stared at it. When she finally took it, he laughed. “No, I need your mug.”

  “Oh.” Her face ignited. If only there was a hole to crawl into.