A Man to Call My Own

by Johanna Lindsey

  “Stop it. You know what happens when a man shows any interest in me. Amanda then reels him in and keeps him dangling indefinitely—and rubs it in my face.”

  “Those were boys she did that with. You’ve been making yourself as ugly as you can for several years now. You’ve never given a man a chance. They can’t all be so gullible to fall for her ploys.”

  “Maybe not,” Marian replied. “But I’m not going to be responsible for even one more man getting hurt like that. I can bide my time.”

  “Biding time is easy—and gets you nowhere,” Ella Mae pointed out.

  “I’m in no hurry.”

  “Aren’t you? You want to lose this one that you really want?”

  Marian sighed. “I don’t have him to lose. He’s already made his preference plain.”

  “So has she. She’s shown no interest in him. She’s barely civil to him.”

  Marian grinned at that point. “Which is why I can bide my time. He’s different from the others. He hasn’t made a fool of himself over her yet. I think he may be waiting to see if she’s worth the effort.”

  “Or waiting until he doesn’t have to worry about keeping us alive.”

  Marian made a face of disgust. “Oh, sure, shoot my conclusion down. Some encouragement you are.”

  Ella Mae chuckled with a shake of her head. “Mari, you make life too complicated. And he’s made his move. He kissed her—or thinks he did. Consider that while you try to get to sleep.”

  Chapter 16

  HER GUILT WAS INCREDIBLE. Marian woke up with it, wallowed in it, couldn’t shake it. The disguise she fostered was deceitful enough, but she did it for a good reason: to save other people from Amanda’s spiteful manipulations. But actually to pretend to be Amanda...

  Her sister had done that often when they were children, just to get people mad at Marian. She thought it was a wonderful joke, though she was the only one who found it funny. Marian had tried it only once before, with their father, because she so craved the attention he gave only to Amanda. But he hadn’t been fooled. He’d known immediately that she wasn’t his favorite, and the scolding she got was so embarrassing she’d never tried it again.

  It wasn’t pleasant, sharing the same face with someone you detested. It wasn’t fun either, always worrying about other peoples feelings to the complete exclusion of your own. It was simply hell having a sister like Amanda.

  Marian avoided the campfire that morning, where Chad was handing out a quick breakfast before they started on the last leg of their journey. She preferred going hungry to being near him just then, she was so afraid he was going to see through her disguise.

  She did accept a cup of coffee though from the wagon driver who, the night before, had set up his own fire on the other side of the wagon. When asked why two had been necessary, he’d mentioned something about deceiving would-be robbers, and he’d added that even when he was alone on the road, he always lit two fires, then never slept near either.

  The mountain man had been moved into the wagon sometime before anyone else had awoken. He must have regained consciousness and cooperated because there was simply no way Chad, even with help from the driver, could have hoisted a man that size. And it had been done so quietly, the women sleeping under the wagon hadn’t been disturbed.

  Marian just happened to notice his bound feet near the back of the wagon when she circled round it. Chad obviously didn’t want to leave Leroy behind, but didn’t want the others aware of his presence either. To spare him a lot of questions, she supposed.

  She still kept an eye on Chad, dreading the moment when he came face-to-face with Amanda. She didn’t trust him not to mention the kiss, even though she’d warned him not to. And Amanda wouldn’t pretend ignorance. If something caught her curiosity, she’d demand an explanation.

  Amanda was the last to make an appearance. It was too much to hope that she wouldn’t feel like eating that morning. She went right to the campfire, took the offered plate of food without a thank-you, and proceeded to ignore Chad completely as usual.

  Last night Marian had actually been sorry to learn that Chad’s father owned a ranch. That meant he might not be completely without means as both sisters had first thought, and Amanda’s interest in Chad might perk up. But then Amanda had missed hearing about his father’s ranch, once again having slept through all the danger and excitement. With luck, this time, though, she wouldn’t find out about it after the fact.

  Ella Mae was still at the campfire, too. Amanda started talking to her. Marian didn’t have to be present to know her sister was now complaining about the discomforts of sleeping outdoors—now that she had an interested ear. Not that Ella Mae was the least bit interested. Like Marian, Ella Mae had learned long ago how to tune Amanda out.

  Chad was listening, however, and after a few minutes, he was frowning. Marian would give anything to know what the frown was for.

  It could simply be that Amanda had just thoughtlessly insulted his cooking efforts. It could be that it was the first time he was being treated to one of her diatribes—he usually only caught the tail end of them when she was almost out of steam and not nearly so derogatory. But it was more likely because she was treating him as if he weren’t present while he was sitting only a couple feet from her.

  He’d probably assumed that things would be different now between him and her. A natural conclusion after a kiss that hadn’t been rejected. He’d stated his interest very clearly with that kiss. She’d done the same by accepting it. The cold shoulder he was getting from the woman whom he’d thought he’d kissed probably felt like a slap in the face—which is what Marian should have done last night, rather than let temptation get the better of her good sense.

  Finished eating, Amanda carelessly tossed her plate toward the fire and started to head back toward the carriage to finish preparations for leaving. His frown more intense, Chad started to follow her. Marian sucked in her breath, watching them, waiting for him to grab Amanda and turn her around, to demand an explanation for her—what? Her lack of interest, when she had no interest in him to begin with?

  Marian’s guilt mounted. She should stop him, take him aside and make her confession. He was going to despise her for it. But she’d already gone to great lengths to make him despise her anyway, so that shouldn’t matter to her.

  She took a step toward him, but he stopped. She stopped. He spent all of five seconds staring at Amanda’s retreating back then swung around with what seemed almost a shrug. A shrug? Surely not. Or was a kiss stolen in the middle of the night not important to him? Maybe he kissed all the pretty women he came across if given the opportunity.

  Marian could breathe again, but now she was frowning.

  Chapter 17

  AMANDA WAS ALMOST TOO confusing to bother with. That was the conclusion Chad reached that morning. Well, almost. But Amanda definitely did seem like two different women, soft and yielding at night, a veritable termagant during the day.

  Rudeness must run in their family, he figured. No, that wasn’t true. There wasn’t a rude bone in Red’s body, and she was the Laton sisters’ blood relative.

  The confusion he was beset with now was his own fault. He should have stuck to his guns and waited until the trip was over before finding out which way the wind blew with Amanda Laton.

  He knew from experience that tempers could flare easily when you were doing something you didn’t want to do, and he’d overheard enough comments to know that she hadn’t wanted to come to Texas in the first place and was hating everything about the trip there.

  So her flare-ups of rudeness were actually somewhat understandable, or at least, there was a pretty good reason for them. Once the trip was over, she’d probably be completely different.

  But she was so damn beautiful last night, there was just no way he could have restrained himself from kissing her. And she’d tried to rescue him. He was touched by that, never would have expected it from her. She was always so aloof, so indifferent—to him anyway.

  B
ut the previous night, she’d melted in his arms. He’d been surprised, delighted, had felt his desire rising, then, strangely—it just didn’t feel right. And for a moment, he’d actually wondered why he’d kissed her.

  It had nothing to do with the kiss, that had been sweet. It had nothing to do with how easily she’d yielded. It had everything to do with her. She just didn’t add up, was too confusing by half, cold as ice one moment, hot the next, as if she were two ...different ...women. No way. Campfire light wasn’t very bright, but they’d have to be twins for him to make that kind of mistake—well, hell.

  He shouldn’t feel pole axed. He’d seen it coming, just hadn’t acknowledged it. Siblings could resemble each other closely, but what were the odds on having so many identical features unless they were twins. Of course they were twins. It was just that one was blind as a bat and ornery as sin. And there was no way he would have kissed that one.

  So they were twins. That changed nothing, and still didn’t explain his confusion over Amanda. Or maybe it was just him. Maybe he wasn’t as interested as he’d thought.

  Actually, that was probably the whole problem. He should be interested, but was he? Really? Or did Amanda remind him too much of Luella, a gorgeous outer shell with nothing he liked very much underneath? Which was another reason he’d been waiting for the trip to end before pursuing her, to give her time to relax, or recover—depending on how she looked at it—to settle in and be her normal self again.

  He expected a big difference in her attitude in the next few days. She’d have nothing more to complain about. Red’s home was Western in flavor, but very comfortable. And she had one of the best cooks in the county working in her kitchen. Once her aches and pains were gone and she was surrounded by comfort and family, he’d find out what Amanda was really like.

  He’d seen her worst side—at least he hoped that was as bad as she got, because he’d never seen much worse. He sure was looking forward to seeing her better side.

  * * *

  The carriage rolled up to the Twisting Barb a little before noon, the wagon with the luggage, and Leroy, probably thirty minutes behind them. Chad would have to explain about Leroy. They’d been too far out in the middle of nowhere just to leave him behind. No homesteads close enough for him to walk to if they took his horse to delay him. And the road was not well enough traveled for someone to find him if they left him there still tied up.

  But he didn’t really expect any more trouble from Leroy, now that they were at the ranch. Someone could take him back to find his horse—Chad hadn’t bothered to look very hard for it. And he’d emptied Leroy’s guns of ammunition, so he could have those back.

  His father must be getting senile, or desperate, to send someone like Leroy after him. Especially when he would have been told that Chad was heading to the Twisting Barb. He couldn’t figure out the point of it— unless it was to make a point. Stuart could have easily ridden over to Red’s ranch himself, would probably have beat them there—and maybe that’s what he’d done. And perhaps not finding Chad there before nightfall last night, as he’d thought he would, he’d sent Leroy to find out why.

  But that meant Leroy would have been part of his father’s entourage, and Chad couldn’t see Stuart wanting that foul-odored old coot riding anywhere near him. Stuart never went anywhere these days without a minimum of four gunmen escorting him, men able to handle any kind of trouble that showed up. But they were all clean and well-mannered, and they worshiped Stuart because he paid them so much.

  Red came out on the porch to greet them. She looked nervous as hell. Because she hadn’t seen her nieces since they were tykes? Or because Stuart had showed up and had been giving her a hard time over his son’s working for her?

  Chad hadn’t expected to see his father quite so soon, wasn’t braced for it, but he had expected to see him in the next day or so, now that Stuart knew he was in the county. He’d allowed him to find out that he was back when he had decided to ride into town, knowing full well that someone would hightail it out to the Kinkaid spread with the news.

  A couple of the hands had run up to see to the carriage and help the sisters and their maid down. The spinster was the first up on the porch.

  Chad was just dismounting when he heard Red ask, “Which one are you?”

  “Marian.”

  Red seemed to relax somewhat, since Marian also looked nervous, and offered her niece a big hug, “Welcome, Mari. I used to call you that, you know. Do you remember?”

  “No, but my mother called me Mari, too,” Marian said with a hesitant smile.

  “I’m sorry about your father.”

  “Yes, that was an unfortunate accident.”

  “But I want you to know I’m very glad to offer you a home here for as long as you want.”

  “Thank—”

  “Is this it?” Amanda cut in, as she mounted the steps. “A ranch house, and a small one at that? I’m expected to live here?”

  Red’s blush was immediate. Chad winced for her. She was nervous enough, but to be met with such derision was beyond rude on Amanda’s part.

  Red said defensively, “I know it’s nothing so grand as your home in Haverhill, but you won’t find too many places out here nicer. My husband put a lot of work into—”

  “Not nearly enough,” Amanda cut in again. “But I don’t know why I expected better, when every town we’ve passed through out here has been horribly primitive.”

  Chad had heard enough. Incensed for Red’s sake, he was about to burn his bridges by telling Amanda to shut the hell up, but Marian beat him to it.

  “Can you refrain from being rude for five seconds, sister dear?” she said with a tight little smile, “Or is that beyond your capabilities?”

  Amanda gasped and immediately raised her hand to slap Marian for the insult, well deserved or not. Chad jumped forward to stop her, but he wasn’t close enough. It wasn’t necessary. Marian had expected retaliation, apparently, and was prepared for it. With a slight shove, she sent Amanda tumbling down the steps and into the dirt.

  Chapter 18

  THERE WAS A LOT of screeching. Chad was too well-bred not to help Amanda to her feet. She didn’t thank him. He was getting used to that. She did continue to hurl invectives at her sister while she whacked dust and dirt off her skirt.

  Marian wasn’t paying the least bit of attention to the diatribe. Red stared at Amanda, looking all worried, but the spinster put an arm through hers and gently urged her inside. Chad decided that’s where he’d rather be as well, and joined them.

  Stepping through the door, though, he barely recognized the place. Red had broken out of storage, or managed to find, all kinds of delicate knickknacks and figurines, had changed the serviceable curtains to fancy drapes, put new rugs on the floor. The antlers above the mantel in the main gathering room were gone, replaced by a framed mirror. New paintings were on the walls. One he recognized from Doc Wilton’s office. He wondered how much she’d had to pay him for it.

  Red had tried to give her home a more Eastern flavor, something the girls were more used to. He liked it better the way it had been, where a man didn’t have to worry about knocking over the clutter. Just showed how nervous she really was about meeting these nieces of hers.

  While he was examining all the new finery, he didn’t miss the man sitting on one of the sofas, his arms spread out on the back of it like he owned the place. No, it was impossible to miss that big black-haired, blue-eyed Texan. Chad just chose to do so.

  Red had good manners though, and led Marian over for a formal introduction. “This is a neighbor of mine, Stuart Kinkaid. He owns the biggest ranch in the county, possibly the whole state.”

  “I’m working on it,” Stuart chuckled as he stood up and grasped Marian’s hand for a good shake. “Nice to meet you, Laton.”

  “You as well, Kinkaid.”

  “Your aunt’s told me all about you, as well as some of the difficulties you’ve had getting here.”

  “Oh?”

 
“Chad sent a few telegrams,” Red explained.

  “I’ll have to throw a barbecue sometime next week,” Stuart continued. “To give you gals a proper welcome.”

  “How—country,” Amanda said dryly, coming in the door with a hard shove, to make sure it slammed back against the wall. “I’d like a bath, Aunt Kathleen. A hot one. You do have plumbing here? And hot water?”

  Red was blushing again. “If you’ll excuse us, Stuart, I’ll show the girls to their rooms and get them settled in. You’re welcome to stay for dinner again.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence as Red directed the women toward the stairs. Father and son eyed each other, but said not a word yet.

  Chad had missed the old man, though he wouldn’t say so. But damn, it was good to see him again. Chad was tall, but his father had a few inches on him. Fifty-two, and his hair just as coal black as if he were Chad’s age, Stuart sported a mustache as well, but that’s where the similarities ended. He had wider shoulders, longer legs, was gruff in his manner, opinionated ...well, hell, they were probably more alike than Chad would like to admit.

  Enough time had passed that he was hopeful they could reconcile. Hopeful—but not sure. Both of them were stubborn, and their tempers could easily flare up again.

  Kinkaid’s didn’t squabble in public—if they could help it, though the public sure heard about their squabbles soon enough. Usually because they got loud. But with the women vacating the room quick enough, both men remained patient. The very second they were alone, Stuart started out with an accusatory tone.

  “So this is where you’ve been hiding out?”

  Chad raised a brow. “Hiding? Red needed some help, or I’d have moved on. I hope you didn’t grumble at her for letting me stay here without telling you.”

  “Course not,” Stuart said defensively. “I like Red. That gal’s got gumption, trying to hold on to this place after Frank up and died on her.”

  Stuart cleared his throat before saying any more, realizing he’d started off on the wrong foot. In a much milder, if gruff tone, he said, “From what I heard last night, she still needs help. I can send over one of my foremen.”