by Leigh, T. K.
CONTENTS
Title
Copyright
Books By T.K. Leigh
Dedication
A Note From The Author
Prologue
Chapter One - Peace
Chapter Two - Perfect
Chapter Three - Brianna
Chapter Four - Normal
Chapter Five - Catch You When You Fall
Chapter Six - Forgiveness
Chapter Seven - Mama
Chapter Eight - News
Chapter Nine - Hypocrisy
Chapter Ten - Life
Chapter Eleven - Secret Spot
Chapter Twelve - Nightmare
Chapter Thirteen - No God
Chapter Fourteen - Before
Chapter Fifteen - Losing Control
Chapter Sixteen - Wheels Turning
Chapter Seventeen - Signs
Chapter Eighteen - Purpose
Chapter Nineteen - Beneath The Mask
Chapter Twenty - Demons
Chapter Twenty-One - Up
Chapter Twenty-Two - No Point
Chapter Twenty-Three - Falling
Chapter Twenty-Four - The Truth
Chapter Twenty-Five - Breakable
Chapter Twenty-Six - Answers
Chapter Twenty-Seven - Innocence
Chapter Twenty-Eight - Thankful
Chapter Twenty-Nine - Together
Chapter Thirty - Change
Chapter Thirty-One - New Path
Chapter Thirty-Two - Unwelcome
Chapter Thirty-Three - Marley Jane
Chapter Thirty-Four - A New Year
Chapter Thirty-Five - Make a Stand
Chapter Thirty-Six - Moving On
Chapter Thirty-Seven - Silent No More
Chapter Thirty-Eight - Strength
Chapter Thirty-Nine - The Cycle
Chapter Forty - Unforgiven
Chapter Forty-One - Reason
Chapter Forty-Two - Scar
Chapter Forty-Three - Awake
Chapter Forty-Four - Memory
Epilogue
Playlist
Coming Soon From T.K. Leigh
Heart Of Light Excerpt
Acknowledgements
About The Author
HEART OF MARLEY
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes. If you are reading this book and you have not purchased it or won it in an author/publisher contest, this book has been pirated. Please delete and support the author by purchasing the ebook from one of its many distributors.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or, if an actual place, are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Published by Carpe Per Diem, Inc. / Tracy Kellam, 25852 McBean Parkway # 806, Santa Clarita, CA 91355
Edited by: Kim Young, Kim’s Editing Services
Cover Design: Cat Head Biscuit, Inc., Santa Clarita, CA
Cover Image Copyright Iulian Valentin 2014
Used under license from Shutterstock.com
Copyright © 2014 T. K. Leigh / Tracy Kellam
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 0990739902
ISBN-13: 978-0-9907399-0-6
Books by T.K. Leigh
The Beautiful Mess Series
A Beautiful Mess
A Tragic Wreck
Gorgeous Chaos
Heart of Light
Heart of Marley
To all the Marleys of the world…
You’re stronger than you think you are…
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Heart of Marley is a full-length companion novel to my book, Heart of Light. Both of these books can be read as a stand-alone. In Heart of Light, Cam tells a story about his sister, Marley. This book begins with that story and progresses through their senior year of high school. You do not have to have read Heart of Light in order to understand and follow this book.
This has been one of the most difficult books for me to write. I’ve written books that have dealt with sensitive subject matter before, but never like this. One of the biggest struggles for me when writing this book was dealing with the fact that these characters are high school seniors and are blossoming into a state of sexual awareness. While I understand that many people are of the belief that anyone who isn’t of the age of majority should not be having sex, I refuse to ignore the reality that many high school students do, in fact, have sex. There will be a few scenes where the characters do engage in sex while they are seventeen. If you disagree with this act, this may not be the book for you. In my opinion, these scenes are integral to understanding the characters’ development as trying to come to terms with and move on from their past. They are not explicit or nearly as detailed as they are in my adult romance novels, but they are there.
Further, this book contains mature themes and serious issues including sexual assault, self-harm, addiction, and depression. For anyone unfamiliar with my work, I refuse to glorify criminal actions, such as sexual assault, but these events are integral to understanding the characters and the story. They are not detailed and, as with all my previous books, sometimes what the camera doesn’t show is more poignant than what it does.
The subject matter I’ve presented in this book is, unfortunately, a reality for many people out there. One of the underlying themes I’ve focused on in this story is the consequences of failing to receive adequate treatment or therapy. If you, or anyone you know, has suffered from depression, sexual abuse, or is showing the signs of engaging in self-harm, there are resources out there to help, such as the Crisis Call Center. For more information, please visit http://crisiscallcenter.org.
As always, thank you for your support and I hope you enjoy Marley’s and Cam’s story.
PROLOGUE
Six Years Ago
MY HEART WAS RACING as I heard Marley’s cries emanating from our bedroom. I knew what I had to do to protect her and get her away from all of this. I couldn’t let him hurt her anymore.
Our lives used to be the picture of perfection…quaint raised-level home, white picket fence, huge back yard, and two loving parents…until Dad died three years ago just after our eighth birthday. Mama loved us, but the drugs and alcohol that she sought comfort in to cope with the heartache of losing her soul mate diminished her ability to act like a parent. I became the only one who would look out for us. I was Marley’s last line of defense…her last hope.
I stood in the corner of the living room of the apartment that we had called home for the past few months. We had spent the last several years jumping from place to place, never staying for too long. Every time we moved, Mama promised that she was going to clean up her act and not tell him where we were. Then the withdrawal symptoms kicked in and she would cave, begging him for drugs, money, or both. She put her own selfish needs ahead of her children’s well-being. I just couldn’t comprehend how any parent could do that. Then again, I didn’t know anything about addiction.
When he came into our sorry excuse for a bedroom that evening, I knew what he was going to do. He had been doing that very thing nearly every night since New Year’s Eve three years ago. I wanted to fight him, but nothing ever worked. If I tried to get in his way, he would just knock me out and take what he wanted from Marley regardless. That night, I had bigger plans. When he ordered me out, I followed his demand.
Over the years, I began to h
ate myself for not being able to stand up to him and protect Marley. I never knew what hate was until he walked into our lives. Now I welcomed hate. I tasted hate. I breathed hate. All because I loved Marley.
I hadn’t seen my mother in days. I had no idea when or if she would ever return, but that was okay. For what I needed to do, she shouldn’t be there.
Tiptoeing past the couch and toward the front door, I opened the drawer of the entryway table. I saw a flash of light from the reflection of the street lamp on the metal of the gun barrel. Can I really do this? I asked myself. Will I go to jail for the rest of my life? Would they send an eleven-year-old to jail? I no longer cared about the potential repercussions. He had to be stopped. I would gladly spend the rest of my life behind bars to save Marley from her current prison.
Grabbing the gun as quietly as possible, I felt the weight in my hands. It was as if it weighed fifty pounds instead of less than two. I checked the safety and released it, secretly thanking my mother for thinking that it was a good idea, during one of her drug-induced hazes, to show me how to use a gun. She said that I was the man of the house now and I needed to learn to use a weapon to protect our home. Little did she know that the only thing I needed to protect us from resided within those four walls.
I retreated from the foyer and began making my way down the hallway toward the bedroom that I shared with Marley. Each sound seemed to be amplified tenfold, nervous energy flowing through every inch of me. My breathing increased and my entire body trembled…not with fear, but with pure rage at the thought of what my other half had been enduring nearly every night since Dad died.
Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it. I pushed the door open and surveyed the scene in front of me, my tongue caught in my throat.
“What do you think you’re doing?” a booming voice slurred, not moving from his position.
“Get off of Marley,” I quivered weakly.
“Leave! Now!” he ordered.
“I’m not going anywhere until you promise to leave my sister alone.”
“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath before he raised his imposing frame and stalked toward me.
Looking around his rotund belly, his white tank top stained, I gave Marley a reassuring nod as she grabbed the thin sheet off the bed and wrapped it around herself. Her quiet cries shattered my heart and erased the last bit of faith I had in the human race. Lifting the gun, I aimed it at him, cringing at the sight of his unbuttoned pants and the belt held firmly in his hand.
Just pull the trigger, I said to myself. Pull it and free Marley. Free Marley… Marley… Marley…
My nostrils flared and my vindication returned. All I saw was red. I had heard people speak of out-of-body experiences before, but I never knew what they were talking about…until that moment. I seethed with fury. Before I knew what was happening, I pulled the trigger. Again. And again. And again.
I watched his disgusting body fall to the ground, his mouth agape and eyes wide as he clutched his stomach and leg.
Looking down at the gun in my hand, I immediately snapped back to reality.
“Cam…” Marley exhaled through her sobs. “You just shot him.”
I ran to the bed, her frail body illuminated by the full moon, bringing attention to the scars and bruises on her legs. Wrapping my arms around her, I tried to comfort her the only way I knew how.
“To the moon and back,” I whispered. It was our code. Her way of knowing that no harm would come to her.
“From the stars to the ocean, Cam,” her sweet voice squeaked out in response.
“He’s never going to hurt you or anyone else again.” I rubbed her back, mindful of the scratches and welts from where he had used his belt on her. “I’ll never let anything bad happen to you ever again, Mar.”
I held her all night long, comforting her sobs and soothing her fears when she woke up screaming. I kept the gun clutched in my hand as I watched over her, keeping one eye trained on the body that had lost blood throughout the night, making sure that he didn’t move. I would hear him moan out and beg me to call for help, but I refused. I wanted him to suffer and feel pain that was worse than what Marley had endured those past three years. I wanted his death to be slow and agonizing.
Once the sun rose, bathing everything in light, the reality of what I had done set in. I knew that I had to tell someone. The only person I could think of was my grams. Rummaging through my mother’s things, I finally found her address book and made the phone call that would be the start of our new lives.
CHAPTER ONE
PEACE
Six Years Later
“MARLEY? WHAT ARE YOU doing out here?” I asked, peeking out of my bedroom window to see my twin sister lying on the roof of our house.
“Thinking, Cam.”
“Can I come and think with you?”
She tilted her head and I could see the sadness within her brilliant blue eyes. “Of course…if boys know how to think.” She giggled at her dig at me.
Shaking my head, I carefully climbed out the window, crawling a few feet to where she lay right outside her own bedroom window. When we came to live with our uncle Graham and aunt Terryn all those years ago, we shared a room. After a while, they thought we were getting too old to have the same room and had a wall built in our formerly spacious bedroom. It took time to adjust to the new arrangement. Marley despised the separation, hating that I wasn’t there to calm her down when the nightmares found her. And they always did, even though six years had passed.
About a month after the “Great Wall of Bowen”, as Marley referred to it, was erected, she began sitting out on the roof every chance she could. “I can forget about everything out here, Cam,” she would say to me. “Being here and staring at the stars reminds me that the world is a bigger place and my problems are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.” She always had a way of putting things that made me feel better about our past. The guilt for not protecting her all those years still ate away at me, but her smiling, readjusted face put my concerns at ease, even if only for a fleeting moment.
Settling down on the roof next to Marley, I grabbed her hand in mine.
“Do you think Grams is happy now? Do you think it hurt when she…?” Her voice trailed off.
The past few weeks had been difficult for her…for both of us. The matriarch of our family had lost her battle with breast cancer. The doctors said she had six months to live. That was nine years ago. That was why we couldn’t go live with her when we finally got away from him. She had fought her disease tooth-and-nail since getting her diagnosis. One day, she just stopped fighting. It hit both of us hard, but it affected Marley more than me.
“I think she’s happier now. You saw how much…” I stopped short, the image of the weakened version of my grandmother that I had seen over the past few months still ingrained in my memory. The hardest part was watching her health fade over the months after she had begun to refuse any more treatments. I resented her for making that decision. I still remember having that dreadful conversation with Mama during one of our weekly court-approved supervised visitations just a few months ago.
“Cameron, baby,” she said to me. “You can’t take your anger out on Grams. She doesn’t have much time left. Treasure each and every moment you can spend with her while she’s still here. This is her decision. She has fought this disease long and hard for the better part of the last decade of her life. She’s ready to go and be with your dad now. Let her go…”
And I had, at least I thought I did. Grams was the first close relative that I had lost since Dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was eight. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the solemn look on Mama’s face when Uncle Graham dropped us at her house outside of Columbia for our visitation time two weeks ago. At that moment, I knew Grams was gone. And for the first time I could remember, I actually thought about death and how dying would feel. I wondered if Grams felt the same pain that I felt in my heart at that moment. I hated how much it hur
t to lose someone I loved. And I knew I never wanted to lose anyone again.
“I think she’s finally at peace,” Marley said, breaking into my thoughts. She squeezed my hand and, out of nowhere, a light streamed through the night sky and disappeared into the ocean. “See, Cam. Look! Grams is okay.” She raised her hand and wiped the tear that she was trying to hide from me off her cheek. “Remember what she would always say when we went to go visit her? And when we would talk about Dad?”
I nodded my head slightly. “The shooting star…”
“She’s okay, Cam!” she exclaimed, her normal vivacious self returning after having been absent for the past few weeks. “Grams is okay. She said that’s how we would know she made it to wherever she was going and that she was looking down on us.” She rolled over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I feel better knowing that, don’t you?”
Smiling, I gave Marley the answer she needed to hear. “I do.” I wished I could believe it.
She nudged me and I turned my head toward her. Raising her eyebrows, she said, “Say it. I can’t say my part unless you say your part first.”
“To the moon and back, Mar.”
“From the stars to the ocean.”
We remained on the roof, contemplating life and how that precious gift could be ripped from you when you least expected. I often wondered what my life would have been like if that drunk driver had never killed Dad. Would we still be a happy family like we were before his death? Or would Mama have eventually found her way toward drugs and alcohol anyway? Would he have left her if she did? And would Marley have suffered abuse nearly every night for three years, the horrors still haunting her to this day?
“Do you think we’ll always have this, Cam?” she asked several hours later as we pointed out the constellations to each other, making up new ones as we went.
