The Amish Nanny

by Patricia Davids

  Clara smiled at his enthusiasm. She sliced the bread, put it on plates and began mixing the ingredients for the treat. Lily came in and climbed onto her chair. She propped her chin in her hands. “What’s the matter, Lily? Don’t you like church spread?”

  “I do, but this is going to make more dirty dishes to wash.”

  Clara laughed out loud. “I will do them.”

  Amos came tromping down the stairs and took his seat at the table.

  “Is Micah coming?” Clara asked.

  “Nee, he’s not in our room.”

  Clara frowned. “Where is he?”

  Amos shrugged and reached for a slice of bread.

  Annoyed, Clara decided to check for herself. Micah wasn’t happy to have her looking after him, but he wasn’t going to be able to hide all day.

  His room was empty. She dropped to her knees, feeling foolish, and looked under the bed. He wasn’t there, either. She sat back on her heels. Where could he be?

  Quickly, she checked the other rooms. Nothing. She searched the house from top to bottom calling his name. She even searched the cellar. If he was in the building, she couldn’t find him.

  Walking out onto the front porch, she scanned the yard and tried to calm her rising sense of panic as the other children came to stand beside her.

  Lily tugged on Clara’s apron. “Is Micah lost?”

  She smiled to reassure the child. “I think he’s playing hide-and-seek.”

  Lily cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, “Alle alle achts und frei.”

  When Micah didn’t appear, Lily shook her head. “I think he’s lost.”

  Amos shoved his hands in his pockets. “Onkel Ethan isn’t gonna be happy.”

  “I want you and Lily to go in and finish your snack.” The children went inside, and Clara quickly knelt beside the lattice to peek under the porch. Micah wasn’t there.

  What did she do now? Ethan’s confidence in her ability to manage anything was sadly misplaced. Should she gather the neighbors to help her look for the boy? What if he wasn’t hiding from her as she suspected? What if he was hurt and couldn’t call for help.

  Had he gone in with the horses?

  Panic sent her heart pounding at the thought. She would have to check their stalls. Cold sweat beaded on her forehead. “Please, Lord, help me do this.”

  She rose to her feet and started toward the barn.

  Chapter Six

  Clara trembled so hard she could barely open the barn door. Inside, she stood frozen in place when Ethan’s mares hung their heads over their stall doors and looked her way. She couldn’t hear anything but the hammering of her own heart.

  She had to make sure Micah wasn’t lying injured in one of those stalls. Her own fear of the big horses made her imagine the worst. She raised her gaze upward to pray for courage and caught a glimpse of a straw hat in the hayloft opening above her. “Micah?”

  The wearer of the hat jerked back out of her line of sight.

  Relief was quickly followed by vexation. He wasn’t hurt. He wasn’t lost. He was making a fool out of her. She was done with this game. “Micah, come down here this minute.”

  He didn’t. She climbed the steep wooden stairs to the loft, but didn’t see him. There were dozens of places to hide. She walked toward the large open doorway at the back of the barn, staying well away from the edge. She didn’t care for heights. A ladder to the ground stood propped in the opening. Clara shaded her eyes and scanned the fields. She saw Micah running toward the creek. She returned to the stairs and left the barn. She would find him if she had to search every inch of the farm, and then they would have a serious talk.

  Much later that afternoon, Clara stood on the porch of Ethan’s house ringing her hands as she watched him driving his team up the lane. How was she going to tell him that Micah was missing? Ethan was counting on her to care for his children, but she had failed miserably.

  Her stomach twisted in knots.

  “There’s Micah,” Amos shouted.

  She looked to see where the child was pointing and saw Micah walking out of the barn. She raced toward him with the other children right behind her. She fell to her knees and grasped his shoulders.

  “Where have you been? Didn’t you hear us calling for you?” she demanded.

  “I was playing in the barn.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze.

  Lily put her arm around his waist. “I thought you was lost forever.”

  “Sorry, sis.” At least he seemed to regret upsetting his sister.

  “That’s okay,” Lily said kindly.

  Clara didn’t feel as forgiving. She rose to her feet. “In the future, please don’t disappear without telling someone where you are going. Is that understood?”

  He glared at her from beneath his lowered brow. “Are you going to tell Onkel Ethan?”

  “Tell him what? That you were playing in the barn. I see no reason to mention it.” No reason to mention she had been tearing her hair out for hours while the child made a fool of her? No, she wasn’t about to tell Ethan that.

  Micah was a troubled boy, more troubled than she had suspected. It would take time for him to trust her. Sadly, time was something she might not have to give him. She would learn of the school board’s decision in a few weeks. If they hired her, Ethan would have to find someone else to care for the children. Someone who could do a better job than she had done.

  * * *

  Ethan drove his team into the farmyard. Clara and the children were all gathered in front of the barn. They had been on his mind all day. It was surprising how good it felt to see them waiting for him. He pulled his tired horses to a stop and smiled at Clara. “I see you survived the day. How was it?”

  “Fine. It was a fine day,” she said quickly.

  Something in her tone caused him to doubt that statement. He noticed her kapp was askew, with yellow bits of straw or something sticking to it. Her apron was wrinkled. There was a smear of dirt on her cheek and smudges on her dress as if she’d been kneeling on the ground.

  He got down from his logging arch. Lily came running up to him. He lifted her into his arms and walked toward Clara and the boys. Micah wore his mulish expression that spelled trouble. What was up?

  Ethan looked at Lily, who seemed truly glad he was home. “What did you do all day while I was gone?”

  “I helped Clara wash the dishes and the kitchen floor and I put a puzzle together with Amos and then we looked and looked for Micah.”

  Clara’s face turned bright pink. Micah stared at his toes.

  “More hide-and-seek?” Ethan asked Clara.

  “Something like that,” she said, and bit her lower lip.

  “Shouldn’t you go home,” Micah suggested with a sharp glance in her direction.

  Her eyes narrowed as she glared back at him. “I will. After I’ve had a chance to talk to your onkel.”

  Ethan set Lily on the ground. His hope that Clara had enjoyed an uneventful day vanished. “Micah, take the children up to the house. I’ll be in after I put the team away. Clara, you and I can talk while I finish with them.”

  Micah didn’t look pleased, but he took each of his siblings by the hand and went to the house. Ethan went to the front of his team and began unhitching them. Clara stood off to the side. Freeing Dutch first, and then Fred, he led them to the corral gate and tied them up. He began unbuckling Dutch’s harness. “So? How did it go? Don’t tell me that it went fine, because you and Micah both looked ready to spit nails.”

  “We had a misunderstanding, but I think we have sorted it out. Amos and Lily were no trouble at all.”

  “Would you care to tell me what your misunderstanding with Micah was about?”

  “Not really. Micah doesn’t know me. He has no reason to trust me, but I want to show
him I’m a trustworthy person. You did tell me to do what I thought was best.”

  Surprised by the hint of defiance in her tone, he shrugged. She had a point. He pulled the heavy harness off Dutch and tossed it on the top rail of the fence. Dutch shook all over, snorted and tried to rub his headstall off using the fence. Clara jumped back three feet.

  “Stop that.” Ethan pushed the horse’s head away from the boards.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t help it,” Clara said quickly.

  He glanced her way. She thought he was scolding her? He had forgotten that she was afraid of his animals. “I was talking to the horse, Clara. Not to you.”

  “Oh.” She fell silent but didn’t move closer.

  After untying Dutch, Ethan opened the corral gate and turned him loose inside. The big horse ambled to the center of the pen. He put his nose to the ground and turned around several times before dropping to his knees and then rolling onto his side. After rocking a few times, Dutch managed to turn onto his back, where he proceeded to squirm and twist, scratching his back in the dirt with his big feet flailing in the air.

  Ethan began unbuckling Fred’s harness. He glanced at Clara. “Will you be back tomorrow?”

  “If you wish me to come, I’ll be here.”

  Ethan turned Fred in with Dutch. Like his teammate, Fred found a spot, turned in circles and lay down to scratch his back, too. Ethan turned to Clara. “I would like you to come back. What was it that you wanted to speak to me about?”

  “You said this morning that we would discuss the children’s chores when you came home. Have you decided what you want them to do?”

  He’d forgotten all about it. “They’ve only been here a few weeks. I wanted to let them settle in before putting them to work.”

  “Having work to do will help them settle in faster. Having nothing to do gives them far too much idle time. A bored child will get into trouble much faster than a busy one.”

  “They’re little. What could they do?” He found himself on the defensive. He didn’t like the feeling.

  “Lots of things. They can feed and water the chickens. They can gather the eggs. They can clean the stalls. The lawn needs to be mowed. They can help with the upkeep of the house and the garden. Children should know they’re contributing to the welfare of the family.” She pointed to the corral. “Your fence needs painting. Micah and Amos are old enough to do that.

  Ethan shifted uncomfortably. “They might not do a good job.”

  “Not as good as you perhaps, but they could do well enough.”

  “And if I have to come along and redo it, they will feel bad.”

  Clara tipped her head slightly as she regarded him. “You’re afraid of hurting their feelings?”

  “These children have been through a lot. They don’t need to try and please me.”

  “Children want to please their parents.”

  “That’s just it. I’m not their parent. I can’t replace their father. No one can replace my brother. He was the best man I ever knew. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. Give the children whatever chores you see fit. I’ll hitch Rosie to the wagon and take you home.”

  “I’d rather walk.”

  “Suit yourself.” He brushed past her and strode toward the house. A glance back showed she was on her way down the lane. At least she had said she was coming back tomorrow.

  Inside, Micah was standing by the kitchen table with his fists clenched at his sides. “What did she tell you?”

  Ethan wasn’t ready to deal with the boy. He was struggling to keep a lid on his own emotions. He’d been rude to Clara. “We’ll talk about it later, Micah.”

  “She’s lying. I didn’t hide from her all day.”

  So that was it. He leveled a stern gaze at his nephew. “Shame on you for calling that kind woman a liar. She never mentioned anything about you hiding from her.”

  Micah’s mouth fell open. “She didn’t?”

  “Nee, she did not. Do you wish to tell me about this?”

  Micah quickly shook his head.

  “I thought not. Set the table for supper. I’ll see what I can fix.” Ethan was too tired to eat, but he knew he had to feed the children.

  “Amos said Clara left a meat loaf and some vegetables in the refrigerator for us. All you need to do is warm it up.” Micah began getting the plates down.

  Ethan pulled open the refrigerator door. There was a generous meat loaf surrounded by mashed potatoes and carrots. On the shelf below was a pan of bread pudding studded with raisins. Much of the tension ebbed out of his body. “I think I’ll have to give Clara a raise if I ever earn enough to pay her.”

  * * *

  On the walk home, Clara had plenty of time to analyze her conversation with Ethan. It was amazing how quickly he had been transformed in her mind from someone big and frightening to someone she was concerned about. Someone who needed care and attention as much as the children did.

  She was sure she saw more than Ethan wanted her to see. Micah wasn’t the only one deeply troubled by the loss the family had suffered. Ethan was hurting, too. Unless he faced it and found a way to deal with his brother’s death and accept that he was a parent to the children now, he couldn’t help Micah. How could she help them both?

  Ethan wouldn’t welcome any interference on her part. She was sure of that. She would have to be careful. She would have to earn Ethan’s trust the same way she was trying to earn Micah’s. By being a friend.

  It was late by the time she reached home. Her sisters were standing on the porch. Her grandfather and his hired man, Carl King, were walking up from the sheep pens. Carl’s black-and-white English shepherd raced toward Clara the moment he caught sight of her. She stooped to pet the dog before continuing to the house.

  “Well?” Greta demanded.

  “Well what?” Clara replied, knowing full well what her sister meant.

  “How did it go?” Betsy asked.

  Clara sighed as she stared up at their curious faces. “It went.”

  “That bad?” Carl asked with a chuckle.

  “Laugh if you want, but Micah Gingerich is a handful. Taking care of children is much more exhausting than spinning.”

  Lizzie came down the steps and linked her arm with Clara’s. “You must be all done in. Come inside and sit down.”

  “You look like you could use a glass of iced tea before supper,” Betsy added.

  Clara nodded. “You read my mind, little sister.”

  “Tomorrow, you will take the pony and cart I bought for you to use,” her grandfather said gruffly.

  “You know I don’t like to drive, Daadi.”

  “Then I will drive you and pick you up,” he replied.

  She could see that she would have little choice in the matter. “Very well, I will take the pony and cart. But if that animal runs away with me, I’m going to blame you.”

  Lizzie, Greta and Betsy all laughed. Betsy said, “If you can get that fat little pony to run, I will eat my bonnet.”

  “Buttercup isn’t fat,” Greta said in the pony’s defense. They all went into the house.

  “What would you call it?” Carl asked.

  “He’s simply a little plump from not getting enough exercise. Clara, you’ll be doing him a favor by driving him every day. One of us will harness him for you.”

  Clara went into the living room and sank gratefully onto the sofa. “I appreciate the offer, Greta, but I need to do it. My fear will not go away if I hide from it.”

  Lizzie sat on the other side of the sofa. Carl perched on the arm beside her. He said, “That is very true. The more you hide from a fear the larger it becomes. You know I speak from experience when I say that.”

  Clara nodded. Carl King looked like any other Amish man now, but Clara knew that until a few months ago
, he had lived as an outsider, shunned and hiding from those who loved him, haunted by a terrible tragedy in his past. He had killed a man. Although he did so in self-defense, and to save the life of a young girl, he couldn’t forgive himself. God had used the love of her sister Lizzie to bring Carl back to his faith and to a life without fear and shame. Being afraid of horses seemed like a small thing compared to what he had suffered.

  Betsy came in with a glass of tea and handed it to Clara. “Supper will be ready in a minute.”

  Everyone except Clara and Greta got up and headed toward the kitchen. Clara took a long drink from her glass. Greta asked, “Are you sorry you took the job?”

  Was she? In some ways. “It makes me think I’m not prepared to manage a whole school full of children.”

  “What is Ethan Gingerich like?”

  Clara took another sip of her tea as she tried to form an answer. “He is a man struggling with an unexpected burden. No, burden is the wrong word. He doesn’t see the children as a burden.”

  “That’s good. I think children are sometimes a trial, but they should never be seen as a burden.”

  Clara rolled her eyes. “You did not spend hours looking for a boy who did not want to be found only to have him pop up two minutes before his onkel returned. Ja, Micah is a trial.”

  “You were worried about them, weren’t you? Because they had been sent to live with their onkel the way we were.”

  “I know it was wrong of me to imagine Ethan was the same kind of man, yet when I first met him, I could not shake the fear that the children were being harmed. Ethan is not like that at all. I think he is grieving for the loss of his brother but trying to hide it from the children. He doesn’t believe he can take his brother’s place in their lives.”

  “You sound very taken with him.”

  Clara looked at her sister in surprise. “Do I? I’m not. I mean, I barely know the man.”

  “But?” Greta leaned closer.

  “But what?”

  “You barely know the man, but...?”

  “But I feel sorry for him. The children, particularly Micah, are desperate for love and a sense of security that Ethan doesn’t seem to be able to give them.”