Terminus Project: Mars (Dystopian Child Prodigy SciFi)

by Casey Herzog

  No one talked about it, but when we settled in the community, magic had been instrumental in protecting the village. Nobody wanted to mention how it was inefficient in dealing with what happened to me. The evil should’ve been no match for the protection touching the village. It only went to show the evil was stronger and used me to fight back when it was faced with extermination. It was possible Jasper was using me to bypass the protection, but I couldn’t say for sure.

  “You’re not the only one who has things to make up for. I’ve seen you scrambling to give some peace of mind to those villagers still hesitant to stand in your vicinity. I know you’ve noticed. I’m certain it hurts you deeply to have their mistrust heaped onto your shoulders.”

  Julian had seen my angst, and instead of confronting it, he decided to leave it alone for me to deal with on my own.

  “You have been a good friend, and I forget sometimes I’m not the only one who has suffered. My father tangled with Jasper, and I still don’t know the full effects of the injuries plaguing him. I’ve watched him from afar, and there are times he stops and catches his breath or has a pronounced limp.”

  Jasper had almost killed him, but he was as much a victim as anybody else. I could’ve been in his shoes, completely unhinged with my mind shattered into a million pieces.

  “Everybody thinks their problems are the worst. We secretly listen with glee when we hear somebody else going through something even worse. We want to believe what we are going through pales in comparison just to get through the day,” Julian said, suggesting I see that my life and my problems were pretty insignificant compared to the fate of the free world.

  “People act like they know me, but how could they unless they walked a mile in my shoes? They could probably say the same thing about themselves, and I never take that into consideration when I watch them walk by me with indifference.”

  I was just getting back to a semblance of who I was, but I would always be touched by evil, no matter how much I wanted to deny it.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  It was another hour before we came to an obstacle more daunting than anything we had faced on this expedition. There was a wall of ice higher than the eye could see, and climbing it didn’t seem like a good idea.

  “We can go around, but it will probably take us longer, and I’m not sure Damien has time. We make this decision together.”

  I didn’t understand why my father was giving us a say when he was older than the both of us combined. It was a little shift in his attitude that I found unlikely without some extraneous reason behind it. It could be he was turning over a new leaf when he came to being in control all the time.

  It was getting dark, and there would be no decisions made until the crack of dawn when we could see what we were doing. Mother still hadn’t awakened. The crack she had taken from the back of the ax must have done more damage than previously thought. I was tempted to wake her up without waiting for her to do it herself, but my father stressed it was better for her to find the strength on her own.

  “I’ll stay with your mother while you and Julian find something for us to eat. I’m not exactly picky; whatever you can find will suffice until we get back home.”

  Leaving him with mother was not a good idea, but he had made his feelings abundantly clear. This left me with only one avenue to explore.

  “If it’s all the same to you, Julian will be staying with you. I’m not sure I can trust you to do the right thing if she wakes up while we’re gone. You have to admit you might be a little biased when it comes to mother.”

  I was only human, and my suspicions of my mother still didn’t amount to much.

  “I’m your father. If you can’t trust me, then who can you trust? Could you honestly say the reflection in the mirror looking back at you is really your face? Does the face looking back at you deceive you?”

  I didn’t like him putting the blame on me, and getting into a heated debate was not going to solve anything. I could only do what I could, and it didn’t seem to be enough. I made an effort to slow things down in my mind, but I was driving myself crazy.

  I didn’t know why everything felt so heavy. It was so much more than I could carry. If I just let go, I would be set free and the fire raging inside me would burn everything in its path. I knew I wasn’t the center of the universe, but the responsibility of magic had been in my hands. What I had done with it left people with a bad taste in their mouth and a fear it was going to happen again.

  “I do look into the mirror, and sometimes I don’t like what’s looking back.” I walked away feeling like my father was disappointed in me. It was not something I felt when I was growing up, but after mother died and he spent time in the asylum, his opinion of me seemed to change.

  Julian tried to reach out to me with a comforting hand, but I rebuffed his advances. I really didn’t feel like talking about it. I stepped away from them, knowing my past was following me around like an anchor around my ankle. I was being dragged down. It felt like an insurmountable task every morning just to get out of bed. The only thing making my life easier to swallow was teaching my students. If I could reach just one and teach them a sense of morality, then I was doing my job right.

  I went in search of food, but there was also another reason that became clear when I was far enough away to let the voices in.

  “I’m sorry it took us this long to get in contact, but your mother really did do a number on us. We took the risk because we thought it was worth it to finally have some peace. Death would be preferable, but your mother can’t bring herself to kill what is keeping her alive. We may feed on one another like cannibals for any scrap of magic we can find, but your mother is worse than all of us combined.”

  The voices were not exactly a fan of my mother’s, and it became painfully obvious their dislike was born from the pain she inflicted on them on a daily basis.

  “You don’t have to worry about her for the time being as she’s a little indisposed. I would like some idea if what we are doing here is the right thing. Coming this way was my mother’s idea and it could’ve been just another one of her misdirections.”

  I didn’t want to have these thoughts about my mother, but the voices sounded like they knew what they were talking about.

  “I’m glad to hear that. We were wondering why she didn’t finish one of us off. Talking to you was an unforgivable offense, and she must have thought she was justified in hurting us.”

  The voices were surprisingly clearheaded. I didn’t think I could’ve been that clear with everything they had been through. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, and speaking to them made me believe they were just as much in the dark about what was happening as I was.

  “I don’t want to give you any false hope, but I have to believe in something. I’m going to put my trust in you until you give me a reason to take it back.”

  All I could think of was William and how I wanted him to be with me. I remembered stealing kisses from him and the look on his face was priceless when he was caught with his mouth open. It was something I wanted to do to make him believe the affection I felt for him was real. I was falling deeper in love every day, and it didn’t matter he was sequestered to the monastery. He was always there giving me his guidance. I could literally hear his voice in my head screaming for caution.

  “I know only one way you can help us, but it would take an amazing amount of courage to even consider it. We sense there is something more here than your mother, and it’s very cold, a chill in the air that we have never felt before. You must be very careful because this thing has malevolent thoughts. It’s very dark and it touches us with a freezing hand.”

  Their idea of me letting them take my body over to escape the imprisonment they had endured for many years was something I needed to give more thought to.

  “I’ve already told you what you ask is too much. I wouldn’t even consider trying to force the issue. There’s something inside me, and maybe the dark force you sense in the air is what
will ultimately destroy all of you if you try to take its place,” I said, trying to cover up the pain and willing myself to face my misdeeds with less hesitation.

  “We know all about what you have gone through, and we regret any part we played in it. One of us did the unthinkable and consumed the essence of another one in a desperate act. It was twisted, and we suspect Jasper was the recipient of the blackness which was the result of one of our minds breaking.”

  I didn’t know any of this! Finding out Jasper was more than a victim put things into perspective. I had always thought he was the product of the asylum, but there was more to it. I’m sure even the Elders suspected something more going on.

  “I know you didn’t have to tell me this, but you have to know, I’m scared of letting go. There’s really no telling what I could do. The evil wakes me up every morning, making me feel breathless and unable to fight back for what feels like forever. It’s only for a few seconds, but every minute of the day, I’m looking over my shoulder waiting for it to insert its dominance,” I said, wondering why I was having a heart to heart with something barely more than a whisper in the wind.

  I was going to love William until I had no more breath in my body. I didn’t want to let go of the man who had sacrificed everything including what could have been his life. He was brave beyond words, and every day was like a gift to be in his arms. It was hard not to think about him and absence really did make the heart grow fonder. I hadn’t even discussed these thoughts with him.

  “We can only give you our word, but we understand how it might not be enough. I’m aware we threatened to take your body by force, but I have convinced them it’s better to work with you than against you,” the voice said, giving me a reason to trust, but not enough to allow them to join forces with the evil inside me.

  “I wish it were enough, and I truly want to help, but you are asking me to walk down a path which didn’t go well for me the last time. The feeling of something gripping me by the throat should wake me up in a cold sweat every night, but it doesn’t. God help me, but I want it. It’s a symphony that is hard to resist. Every melody is timeless, and the evil knows how to sing the song I’m willing to dance to.”

  I was holding tight and not letting go of the love I had for William. It might’ve been unhealthy to use his love for a lifeline, but I didn’t know any other way.

  “You need to give us the benefit of the doubt and not treat us like everybody else in your life. Someday, you’re going to have to trust someone. We can only hope you will start with us. If you really want the truth, then you only have to listen with your heart.”

  It wasn’t an insane request, and I might have considered it had I not gone through my own personal hell. On the surface, I may have looked in control, but I was not even close to feeling remotely strong enough to walk through the fire.

  My father was a giant, and compared to him, I was nothing more than a shadow. I was embalmed with the evil, and getting away from it wasn’t easy. I didn’t want to talk about it, but it was possible somebody had answers. I just didn’t know how I would feel if the evil was no longer a part of me.

  “I doubt this will be easy for all of you, but I might consider allowing one inside me.” It sounded almost sexual, and it was a violation of my body all over again. I welcomed the evil once, and it was the worst mistake of my life. It showed me a power unlike anything I had ever seen before; the intoxication made me drunk with superiority over others.

  “I admit I wasn’t ready for this answer, and we’re going to have to discuss things. We don’t have to do this, but as a gesture of good faith, we must warn you of the path your mother has chosen for you. You will find your way out, but everything you see is not as it should be. Take that into consideration when you face things larger than your comprehension.”

  It wasn’t really much in the way of advice, but I was hard pressed not to at least take what they said under advisement.

  “This might be the start of a beautiful friendship, but I’m going to have to take it on faith you’re not trying to hurt me.”

  I wanted to hear more since I still was left in the dark about a lot of things concerning the shrouds. Logically speaking, they really did sound like they were the injured parties due to my mother’s power over them. I had to wonder what they would be like if my mother wasn’t around. I didn’t even want to fathom how much they could be a power onto themselves if given a chance.

  One of them had corrupted Jasper by cannibalizing magic from another of their kind. Trust was not something I could easily accept, but they were amazingly convincing and capable of changing my mind. I couldn’t believe I was even considering letting one inside me with the evil crying out for companionship.

  I never knew William was the one and I was slowly seeing how much I cared for him. I didn’t know if it was love, but it felt like something I didn’t want to lose.

  I could only listen to what my heart was telling me, but lingering thoughts of him betraying magic was still there. I had faith in what I saw and the look he gave me made me feel like we could fight anything.

  The voices had a lot to think about. All of them were going to have to sacrifice their continued survival to allow one to stand in the sun. It was unfair, and something that would most likely haunt me until the day I died. It was just one of the many things I would repent for on my deathbed.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Sleeping wasn’t an option, and tossing and turning with visions of how the evil would become something even worse by the influence of one of the shrouds was making me regret my decision. I saw an ugly image of myself in my mind, taking the world in my fist and crushing it under my might. I just knew deep down there was a reason for all of this. I would know when I saw it. It was like something was guiding me, but I’d learned the hard way never to trust myself.

  I had killed one of the other animals, using the crossbow my father had, and still, he showed no appreciation for the effort. He dined with us, but nobody really had anything useful to say. We kept looking at one another, and our expressions were louder than any words coming from our mouth.

  “We have procrastinated long enough. I want to get your mother some medical help. We can’t wait any longer, and we need to make a decision one way or the other,” my father said, addressing both Julian and me, waiting for us to deliver good news or bad news, whichever the case may be.

  “The wind has died down dramatically, and climbing seems more prudent than to take the long way around.”

  Julian was making sense, and I concurred, although the task was quite daunting. I just didn’t get how we were going to climb something if we didn’t even know where it was going to end.

  “My father wants to go around, and my best friend in the world wants to go straight up without knowing what is waiting for us at the top. I guess I’m the tiebreaker, so I just hope both of you can live with my decision. Damien is fighting for his life, and whatever risk we have to take is worth it to get him the help he deserves,” I said, seeing my father shaking his head, but the die had been cast.

  Mistakes were how I had learned and how I grew into the woman I was today. There were times I felt like I was sinking and the cold water of reality was drawing me deeper into the murky isolation. Today was one of those times.

  “I don’t know how you can decide to go up when we have to find a way to get your mother up there while she is still unconscious. Are you sure this is what you want to do, daughter? I don’t want you to second-guess yourself, but your mother is not able to voice her own opinion. I’m sure if she could, she would stress going around, but her vote really doesn’t count,” my father said, touching a raw nerve about my leadership skills. Nobody else would have been able to make me feel so inferior.

  “It’s interesting you can put the spotlight on me and expect me to bend like a broken tree.”

  I didn’t want him to think his opinion didn’t matter, but he had made his stand, and Julian and I had both overruled him.

  “Thi
s might be a bad time, Gillian, but it has been decided not unanimously for me to be the one to take the leap of faith. On a side note, I can help you navigate this wall. You just have to remember what I said about things not being what they appear,” the voice said, repeating the last phrase I’d heard from them last night.

  “I know that look. I recognize when the voices are in contact with you, daughter. Would you like to share with the class, or is this some kind of secret you expect to keep from us? We are only doing each other harm by keeping things to ourselves when it is so much better to fight together.”

  My father never knew me and I don’t think he ever took the time to find out what her daughter was about.

  “I do need to tell you… AHHHHH.”

  I felt something slam into me, and my whole body sprung to attention with a rush of pain and pleasure more likely to be found in the bedroom. It was a mind numbing sensation that left me at a loss for words. I didn’t hear them talking to me; although their mouths were moving, nothing was coming out.

  I had given the voice permission and it didn’t appear they were wasting any time. I could’ve easily expelled him from my body, but he was the only one making any sense. I felt flushed and my skin was heated, but the pleasure was overcoming any pain.

  I heard the long drawn out moan and I knew I was making both my father and Julian uncomfortable. It was like they were witnessing something personal they shouldn’t. If this was what it was going to feel like with William on my wedding night, then I was inspired to give him my body willingly. I would still be nervous and shaking like a leaf, but this little peek behind the curtain had done me a world of good.

  It felt like everything else didn’t matter, and then I was blinking back into focus to see Julian staring at me.

  “I don’t think I like what just happened. I might be crazy, but you look like you were enjoying that,” Julian said, while scrutinizing me thoroughly.

  The voice had pushed and pulled like a magnet drawing itself into me until it was complacent and happy to be away from what my mother had done to him.