Prelude to Love

by Anne Barwell

  “He’s still his father,” Marcus finished when Darin trailed off. “There’s no need to apologize. I’d be pretty upset if I were him.”

  “Yeah, so would I.” Darin sighed and left the table. “Finish your meal. Joel won’t have gone far.”

  “It’s fine,” Marcus said. “Take your time.” He took a sip of water and then shook his head. “Poor guy,” he murmured.

  “Yeah,” Ella said. “I met Joel after he and Darin started flatting together, but anytime something happens with his family, he gets upset. It’s a shame, really. Joel’s a really nice guy and would do anything for anyone. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”

  “No one deserves to be treated like this.” Marcus wished he could do something to help. Joel seemed to genuinely care about the kids he taught and seemed a fairly straight-up kind of guy. Marcus had had enough of people who said one thing and did another. Joel was a refreshing change from all that bullshit, and seeing him in pain tugged at Marcus’s heartstrings.

  “Yeah, I know,” Ella said. “I’ve tried convincing him to talk to his dad and give it one more go, but he won’t. He’s never told Darin the details of what his father said, but from his reaction, it was bad. Joel and his dad used to be close, and it must be at least twenty years since they’ve spoken.”

  “Is it just his dad who has issues with him being gay?” Marcus asked.

  Ella nodded. “I’ve met his sister a couple of times. Bernadette is nice, but she steps around the issue with their father. From what I gather, the old man has a bit of a temper on him. Joel meets up regularly with Bernadette and their mother, but that’s only been in the last five years or so. He only had Darin and me as family for a very long time.”

  What about Reed?

  Marcus almost asked the question aloud but stopped himself in time. If Ella hadn’t considered Reed as family, despite the years he’d been with Joel, there had to be a reason for it. Interesting, too, that Joel’s reconciliation with his sister and mother had come around the same time he and Reed had broken up.

  JOEL glanced out the window at the morning traffic, checked his watch, and stifled a yawn. Although he hadn’t been late getting home from Darin and Ella’s the night before, it had taken him a while to finally drift off to sleep.

  “Are you ready to order?” The waitress, Wendy, gave him a smile that quickly turned to a frown when Joel shrugged and glanced at his watch again. “I’m sure they’ll be here soon, Joel. Why don’t I get you a cup of coffee while you wait?”

  “Thanks, Wendy,” Joel said. He was a regular at the Willis Street café on Saturdays, so knew all of the waitstaff by name. “A coffee sounds good, and I’m sure they won’t be long.”

  His phone alerted him to a new text from his sister.

  Nearly there. Delayed by accident by the Newlands turnoff. Looking for a car park now.

  He sent a smiley face as a reply and closed his phone. Wendy set a cup of coffee in front of him, and he sipped it slowly.

  His sister and mother both lived in Tawa, so usually they took it in turns to drive to the twice-monthly Saturday brunches. They’d settled on Wellington city as their meeting place since it was a midpoint for both of them. Joel had offered to meet them somewhere in Tawa, but his mother had insisted this would be more convenient.

  Joel suspected it had less to do with convenience and more to do with the fact his father didn’t come into the city on Saturdays, as he preferred to spend it watching one of the local rugby games. The time and location gave his mother the chance to see Joel without having to tell his father about it.

  His mother had always been a bit on the passive-aggressive side. Meeting a problem head-on had never been her style. After Joel left home, it had taken her years before she contacted him directly, and even then she’d never talked about why he’d moved out. Joel suspected his sister had set up that first meeting, but she’d never admitted to it, and Joel hadn’t asked.

  Although he usually preferred to know where he stood, this was one of the few circumstances in which ignorance was bliss.

  Jill had stayed clear of the argument between her husband and son too. Joel often wondered why she’d never stood up for him, but then she hadn’t taken her husband’s side either or voiced her opinion of the situation.

  Joel had never discussed his sexuality with his mother. Every time he’d mentioned Reed, she’d changed the subject or referred to him as Joel’s friend. They’d never met. Reed hadn’t bothered to make the effort, despite Joel inviting him to brunch a couple of times, and frankly it was easier that way.

  “Joel!” Bernadette called his name from the doorway and then stopped to exchange a few words with Wendy before sitting down opposite Joel. He’d chosen a table inside the café, rather than out on the pavement, which he did usually. The café was quiet at present, but got busy closer to lunchtime. A music shop had originally stood at the location, and the themed mural on one wall of the café depicted notes and various instruments against a backdrop of the harbor.

  Joel found it relaxing, and he suspected Bernadette had chosen the location because of their shared love of music. She had played viola years ago, but while Joel pursued music as a career, Bernadette studied business. She still owned her instrument but hadn’t touched it since she’d left home for university.

  “Where’s Mum?” Joel asked.

  “Her phone rang when I was feeding the meter, so she told me to go on ahead.” Bernadette studied the menu, although she ordered the same thing every time.

  “Good,” Joel said. “It gives us time to talk first before she gets here.”

  Bernadette peered over the menu and raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?” she asked. “You look tired. Not sleeping well?”

  “No idea why that would be. Do you?” Joel tilted his head to the side and glared at her. So much for his intention to slide the topic of his father into the conversation subtly and after they’d been talking a while.

  “Why would I?” Bernadette studied him for a moment and then brushed a lock of blonde hair from her face. While Joel took after his father with his dark hair, Bernadette was blonde like their mother, although both siblings had inherited their father’s bright blue eyes.

  “I ran into Mrs. Wakeman at the supermarket a couple of days ago, and she told me about Dad.” Joel gave Wendy a nod as she set down a cup of chai latte in front of Bernadette. “Thanks, Wendy,” he said before Bernadette could say anything.

  “Yes, thanks, Wendy,” Bernadette echoed. “He’s fine, Joel, honest,” she said once Wendy had left their table. “If it was something serious, I would have phoned you immediately.”

  “Would you?” Joel asked more coldly than he’d intended.

  “Of course I would.” Bernadette briefly put her hand over Joel’s, then removed it when he didn’t acknowledge the gesture.

  Joel knew he was acting like an arsehole, but, hell, this hurt. “Mrs. Wakeman presumed I already knew. How many other people knew before I did? He’s still my father, Bernie.”

  “Would you have dropped everything and rushed to his bedside if I’d rung you?” Bernadette matched Joel’s cool tone. She snorted when he shrugged. “I didn’t think so. Honestly, the two of you are so alike. One of you needs to back down on this thing.” She turned toward the door when the jangle of a bell signaled the arrival of their mother. “I’m tired of this whole elephant in the room. It’s gone on long enough.”

  “He could apologize,” Joel said. “I didn’t walk out. He threw me out, and how the hell do I back down? I’m gay. It’s not as though I’m going to stop being gay just because he doesn’t like it.”

  “Yes, I know that, but—”

  “Do you? You were away at uni in Otago when it happened. You didn’t hear what he said.” Joel shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. Bernadette had met her husband while they’d both been at uni, and settled in Christchurch with him after they’d got married. She’d only moved back to Wellington ten years ago, and hadn’t made much of
an effort to meet up with Joel until shortly after Reed had left for Australia. Reed and Bernadette hadn’t got along, so Joel found it easier to avoid situations that meant they’d have to all be together. He and his sister had spent too many years conversing via texting and emailing while trying to avoid the two elephants in the room—Joel’s partner and their father’s disapproval of Joel’s sexuality. “Morning, Mum. Do you want me to order you some tea?”

  Jill sat down next to Bernadette and glanced between her children. “Oh dear,” she said. “You’ve been arguing, haven’t you? I do wish you wouldn’t do that.”

  “We’re not five years old anymore, Mum,” Bernadette mumbled. “I’ll order you a pot of tea, and Joel can fill you in.” She gave Joel a not-quite-apologetic smile and then bolted toward the counter instead of waving the waitress over.

  “Coward,” Joel muttered. “How’s Dad?” he asked his mother.

  “Oh dear,” Jill said again. She shrugged off her coat so it sat over the back of her chair. “He’s fine, dear. It was a warning that he needs to slow down, that’s all. You know how hard your father works, and he’s been very busy lately, especially after that last earthquake.”

  Claude Ashcroft owned a construction company. As well as building new homes and business premises, the company also had a reputation for good quality refurbishment of older buildings, especially those classified as heritage. After the Christchurch earthquakes, they’d had plenty of work as companies scrambled to get their buildings up to spec. The recent earthquake in November had revealed even more buildings in Wellington that needed strengthening. Claude tended to oversee most of his company’s work. He’d never been good at delegating.

  “Is he going to slow down?” Joel asked.

  “It’s Dad,” Bernadette said as she slid back into her seat. “Of course he’s not. I’ve ordered you some tea,” she told her mother.

  “Thank you, dear.” Jill picked up the menu and peered at it. “I’ll have an omelet today,” she said as though it was something new she was ordering rather than the same thing she had every time they ate there.

  Wendy walked over to them with her notepad. “I see you’re ready to order. So that’s the same as usual for you, Mrs. Ashcroft?” She wrote down the order. “And for you, Bernadette?”

  Bernadette nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

  “I’ll have the big breakfast,” Joel said.

  “You’re skipping lunch again, aren’t you?” Jill asked, peering at him over the top of her glasses.

  “This is meant to be brunch, Mum,” he pointed out. “But yes, I have a lot of work to do today. We’re having a fundraising concert at school in a few months. I need to organize the music for the choir and the orchestra so we can start rehearsals.”

  “Don’t work too hard.” Jill sighed. “I do worry about you, Joel. You’ve done nothing but work since your friend Reed left.” She shook her head. “I thought the two of you were such good friends. It’s a shame he got that job offer in Australia.”

  “He wasn’t just my friend, Mum. He was my boyfriend,” Joel said. He couldn’t be bothered sidestepping awkward conversations. After the week he’d had, he wasn’t in the mood.

  To his surprise, Jill rolled her eyes. “I know that, dear. You seemed happy when you were together. I’m hoping you won’t be alone for too long. It’s not good to be alone, you know.” She smiled at Bernadette. “I see your sister happy and settled with her Keith and their boys. Of course I want the same thing for you.”

  “You’ve never given me that impression before,” Joel mumbled.

  “Oh, and you must let me know when your concert is,” Jill continued as though he hadn’t said anything. “It’s been so long since I’ve been to a concert, and—”

  “I appreciate you wanting to come, but it’s really not necessary.” The last thing Joel wanted was his mother in the audience. Especially as he had to psych himself up to play solo.

  Jill beamed. “Of course it is!” She leaned in closer as though she was about to reveal some deep and dark secret. “I know your father is going to be fine, but I’m seeing this as a warning to both of us. After all, none of us know how long we have, and I realize I’ve missed so many years of your life. It’s time I made up for that, don’t you think?”

  Chapter Four

  MARCUS stopped the lawn mower engine and took off his earmuffs. He stretched his shoulders and wandered over to where he’d left his water bottle. The sun had come out midmorning, and the day was warming up to be much hotter than he’d expected.

  He had felt awkward and as though he was intruding on something private the night before, despite Joel telling him he could stay. When Joel finally returned to the dinner table, Darin not very subtly changed the subject, although Joel remained quiet for most of the evening. Marcus hated seeing Joel so upset, yet not knowing Joel well, he was wary about making the situation worse. He found it easier not to say anything at all, especially as he’d never been one for small talk.

  Ella had told him that Joel would be meeting his mother and sister for brunch late the next morning, so Marcus figured it was a good time to mow his lawns. At least if the brunch didn’t go well, Joel would come home to one less job to do.

  He retrieved his bottle from the wooden table, took a long drink, and then sat in a nearby chair. Marcus smiled as he surveyed his work. Joel’s back lawn looked good now that it was neatly mowed. He had a decent-sized section—not too large yet still big enough to lounge outside on a warm summer evening. Marcus could imagine Joel out here, listening to music while he worked on his laptop, or perhaps took some time out to read a book.

  What kind of books did Joel like to read? Would he be interested in the book Marcus had nearly finished? One of the things Marcus loved about reading was discussing the books afterward. Garth enjoyed reading too, although they had very different taste in fiction. Marcus enjoyed a good thriller, while Garth preferred fantasy. They’d often sat curled on the sofa together after a long day, reading paragraphs or sentences to each other that had caught their eye.

  He missed that. It was the little things he hadn’t thought about before their breakup that hit him the hardest and reminded him he wasn’t part of a couple anymore.

  “Hello there!” A woman called a greeting over the side fence.

  Marcus got up and walked over to her. “Hello there.” The fence was about his height. He tested the strength of the old rotting bench seat in front of it and then climbed onto it so he could introduce himself properly. “I’m Marcus,” he said. “I’m mowing Mr. Ashcroft’s lawns while he’s out.”

  “Nice to meet you, dear.” The woman appeared to be in her late seventies and wore a large-brimmed straw hat. “I’m Mrs. Morris—Mavis. We like to know what’s going on in this neighborhood and look out for one another, you know. There are so many people out there with too much time on their hands getting into trouble, so it pays to be careful. Joel’s a good boy; he’s been very good to me since he moved in.” She looked Marcus up and down. “You were here last week with his niece… Isabel, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, that’s right.” Marcus didn’t see the harm in confirming what she already knew. Isabel wasn’t exactly Joel’s niece, but he wasn’t going to correct her assumption. “Isabel’s mother is my sister, so you’ll probably see me around here a bit more too.”

  He and Joel had kind of agreed that it was okay for Marcus to take on the lawn mowing, although they hadn’t formally discussed any details.

  “Of course.” Mavis smiled. “I didn’t know Joel had arranged for someone to mow his lawns, but I’ve been telling him he needs to get someone in. He doesn’t really have the time himself, and he does look so tired sometimes.” She lowered her voice. “It’s good to know there’s someone looking out for him.”

  “I mow lawns for a living,” Marcus said, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. Although it was an idea he had to admit he rather liked. He’d enjoy getting to know Joel better. Just as friends, of course.

 
Because he wouldn’t presume anything else.

  “Uh-huh.” Mavis nodded. “I’d better let you get back to work, then. Still, it’s nice to meet you. I thought the other day that you seemed like a very pleasant young man.”

  “Thanks.” Marcus cleared his throat. “I’d better get back to work,” he said, echoing her earlier words. “I still have the edges to do before Joel gets home.” He turned to go.

  “Oh… Marcus.” Mavis called him back.

  “Yes, Mrs. Morris?”

  “Call me Mavis, dear. You said you mowed lawns for a living? I don’t suppose you could fit another client in, and if so, do you have a card or something?”

  “I don’t have any business cards on me,” Marcus said. “Tell you what. I can pop over later in the week and give you a quote. If you’re out, I’ll leave the quote and my card in your letter box. How does that sound?”

  “Perfect. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Now I really should let you get back to work. Thanks, dear.”

  “Thanks, Mavis.” Marcus watched her walk back over to her clothesline. She’d been outside hanging washing and must have heard the lawn mower, or more likely she’d seen him arrive earlier when she’d been peering through the curtains in her front room. It appeared that Neighborhood Watch was alive and well in Waterloo.

  One more swig from his water bottle emptied it completely. He’d finish the lawns and then do the edges. Marcus glanced at his watch. Still plenty of time to get everything done and be gone by the time Joel got home.

  JOEL pulled into his driveway and got out of the car. He opened the boot, retrieved the crate filled with the student work he needed to mark, and frowned.

  Something looked different.

  He saw the edge of the curtain from next door fall in a hurry. Mavis always had to know what was going on. Some of his neighbors thought she was nosy, but Joel liked her. She reminded him of his grandmother who had died years ago. Nana Ashcroft had always made it her business to know what was going on, yet if anything happened, she’d be there in the thick of it, helping out.