Prelude to Love

by Anne Barwell

  “If you’re sure,” Marcus asked Joel.

  Joel nodded. “Go grab some refreshments. I’m counting on the swooping later, though.” An older man pushed through the crowd and began talking to Joel, edging him off to the side. Joel glanced up at the podium and then began talking to him.

  Adelaide Barker stood behind one of the tables, pouring cups of tea, coffee, and juice. Beside her, Ella waved to Marcus as he approached. Marcus had wondered why Adelaide hadn’t attempted to push in and highjack Joel herself, but apparently being part of the PTA meant helping out with the supper.

  “Nice to see you here supporting Joel, Mr. Verden,” she said brightly, handing him a cup of tea. “We’re all very proud of him, you know.”

  “So am I.” Marcus took the tea but turned down her offer of a piece of ginger slice to go with it, despite the fact she told him she’d made it herself. He didn’t feel hungry, although neither he nor Joel had eaten much dinner, each having lost his appetite for different reasons.

  Ella raised an eyebrow, but Marcus shook his head. He’d talk to her later and hopefully have some good news to share.

  Still no sign of Claude Ashcroft. Bernadette had told Marcus they’d bought an extra ticket just in case, but her father had made his excuses and refused to come with them.

  “Uncle Marcus.” Isabel poked him in his side. “You’re not listening to me, are you?”

  “I’m sorry, Issy.” Marcus balanced his cup on his saucer. “I was miles away.”

  Isabel giggled. “I noticed. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

  “Thanks.” Marcus noticed she was frowning. “What’s up? You’re enjoying the concert, right?”

  “Oh, yes. I think it’s very good.” Isabel lowered her voice as though part of a conspiracy. “I need to go find my friends, but Daddy said to tell you Uncle Joel needs rescuing now and that you should take him a cup of tea. He always forgets to take care of himself at these things.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Marcus discarded his own cup, which he’d finished with anyway. “I’ll get onto that now. Thanks, Issy. Talk to you later, okay?”

  Ella handed him another cup of tea, this time in a mug, before he had the chance to ask for one. She grinned when he rolled his eyes. “Later,” she said.

  “Yes, Mum,” he replied and went off in search of Joel.

  Joel hadn’t moved very far from where Marcus had left him, but the throng of people surrounding him seemed to have grown exponentially. Marcus pushed through the throng with a few mumbled excuse me’s until he reached Joel’s side.

  “Your tea, sir,” he said.

  Joel chuckled. “Thanks.” He turned to the people around him. “It’s been lovely chatting, but I need to take a break so I get through the rest of the performance. If you want to chat more, feel free to catch me after school. There won’t be any rehearsals for choir or orchestra until next term, so that will make it easier.”

  “But I—” The woman who had been talking to Joel when Marcus arrived didn’t appreciate Joel’s attempt to finish their conversation.

  “The second half is starting in five minutes.” Marcus stepped between her and Joel, but he made sure to keep his tone polite and his stance nonthreatening. “As Mr. Ashcroft said, he’s available to chat with after school.”

  “We hadn’t finished our conversation. You have no right to—” She glared at Marcus.

  “Marcus is family, Mrs. Hills,” Joel said smoothly. “I’m sorry to cut you short, but we do need to get the second half underway or it’s going to be too late a night for the kids.”

  “Okay.” Mrs. Hills finally backed down. She eyed up Marcus and then glanced at Joel. “I’m sorry, Mr. Ashcroft. I didn’t realize you had a brother.”

  “I don’t,” Joel murmured after she was out of earshot.

  “Family?” asked Marcus. He’d noticed Joel hadn’t introduced him as his boyfriend. Perhaps he wasn’t as ready to be out at school as Marcus thought he was, despite his confirming the rumors he was gay. It was one thing for Adelaide and a few students to have found out, quite another to announce it to the world.

  Joel shrugged. “Well, yeah. You’re my partner. Same thing, right?” He drained his tea and handed Marcus the empty mug. “Just like a knight, but without the horse and shining armor,” he said dreamily.

  “Huh?” Marcus wondered if Joel working too hard meant he had finally lost the plot, but Joel just grinned at him.

  “Later. I need to get back to work.” Joel turned toward Marcus. “You don’t mind if I tell people who you are? Who you are to me, I mean.”

  “Of course not.” Marcus smiled, his earlier doubts swept away. “This isn’t my workplace, it’s yours. But if you want people to know, I’m happy for you to tell them.”

  “Thank you.” Joel ducked his head, a sign he was thinking about something.

  “Always.” Marcus headed off to return Joel’s mug so he could retrieve his seat before the rest of the concert started. Whatever was going through Joel’s mind, Marcus was sure he’d find out in time. After all, Marcus didn’t have the patent on surprises, and considering what he had planned, he was hardly one to judge.

  A FEW minutes after the warning that the second half was about to begin, the stragglers in the audience returned to their seats.

  Joel waited for the students in the orchestra to take their places and their concertmaster to ask each section to tune their instruments. He’d made sure they were in tune before they came out onto the stage, so doing it now was for show and a part of the performance.

  The orchestra stood as Joel walked onstage. He shook hands with the concertmaster, and the orchestra sat again as Joel took his place on the podium. He lifted his baton and the orchestra began to play Leroy Anderson’s “The Syncopated Clock.” After that, they went straight into their second solo performance—“The Radetzky March” by Strauss.

  Applause thundered through the hall after Joel lowered his baton. The orchestral students all wore huge grins, and Joel gave them a thumbs-up. He turned toward the audience to announce the final piece of the evening.

  “Thank you. The orchestra has worked very hard, and I’m amazed by how far they’ve come since we began rehearsals.” Joel scanned the audience, spotted Marcus, and smiled. He lifted his head, settling his gaze on the back of the auditorium before continuing to speak.

  Oh God.

  Joel felt the color drain from his face. Surely not… but… he took a deep breath. He caught Marcus’s eye just as Marcus turned to see what Joel was looking at.

  Claude Ashcroft stood by the door. He smiled, but when Joel tried to catch his father’s eye, he looked away.

  Marcus turned back to Joel and mouthed, “Keep going. You’re doing great.”

  Joel took a deep breath. He could do this. “I now invite the choir to come back onstage,” he said, ignoring the slight tremble in his voice.

  What had felt like minutes must have been seconds as only Marcus seemed to notice Joel’s hesitation. Joel shifted his attention away from his father to Marcus. He’d focus on Marcus and just speak to him. He couldn’t talk to his father now, as much as he wanted to, so that would have to wait for later. The kids had done so much work toward the night’s performance, and Joel couldn’t let his personal problems interfere with that.

  Once the choir had settled, Joel continued with his introduction. “I hope you enjoy this arrangement for choir and orchestra, and I’m sure you’ll recognize the music.” He turned and raised his baton, making sure that both choir and orchestra were ready.

  As the orchestra began to play the opening bars of “A Whole New World,” Joel found his nervousness dissolved with the music. He’d always loved that song, and he’d figured if he chose one the kids were familiar with, it would help them feel more confident.

  The applause was even louder than before when they finished. Joel turned to find some of the audience already on their feet. He felt warm inside and gestured for the students to take a bow with him. />
  From the edge of the stage, Adelaide called out, “Speech!” The sentiment was soon caught by others in the audience, and Joel found himself in front of the microphone once more.

  Joel glanced up at the back of the auditorium, but his father was gone. Joel frowned, yet a quick visual search confirmed it. Had he been hoping so much for his father to turn up that he’d imagined he’d been there?

  “Speech!” Darin called out from the front row. He grinned and led the audience into another round of applause.

  Joel cleared his throat and waited for quiet. He could feel everyone watching him, including the students behind him. “Thank you for coming this evening. This concert wouldn’t have been possible without the hard work of so many people. Congratulations to our choir and orchestra.” He turned toward them. “It’s been an honor to conduct you tonight, and you’ll be pleased to know there are no more rehearsals until next term, and school isn’t starting until ten tomorrow morning so you can sleep in a bit later.”

  A couple of the students in the audience high-fived each other, and he heard laughter behind him.

  As he addressed the audience again, he took a deep breath. “I’m very happy to be a part of this school community. You’re a huge part of my life, and…. As I said earlier, conductors get nervous too. I nearly talked myself out of performing the Chopin for you this evening, but my partner convinced me that I could do it. Working extra hours, and the stress that goes with that, isn’t always good for a relationship, but he’s always been there for me, just as he is tonight.” Joel caught Marcus’s eye and smiled as their gazes met. Although most of the staff already knew he was gay, Joel knew he couldn’t go back from outing himself completely. He’d never thought of doing it before, but now he had a reason to. “Thank you, Marcus. I love you.”

  The audience all turned to see who Joel was looking at. Marcus’s face was bright red, but he smiled and gave them a nod.

  Two students—one from the orchestra and one from the choir—presented Joel with a tall paper bag decorated with music manuscript.

  Joel thanked them, shook their hands, and gave the orchestra and choir a bow.

  Adelaide took the microphone from him, but put her hand over it so she wouldn’t be heard. “Make your escape, Joel. You deserve it.”

  He opened his mouth to protest—there was still cleanup to do, and he wasn’t about to leave all of that to someone else.

  “It’s under control,” Adelaide said as though she’d guessed what he was going to say. She grinned and indicated offstage. “Someone’s waiting for you. Go enjoy that bottle of wine together before I change my mind.”

  Joel saw Marcus waiting in the wings. He must have snuck away during the presentation. “Thank you.” Joel gave her a brief hug and made a hasty exit, not waiting to hear whatever she was going to say over the microphone.

  Marcus already had Joel’s coat and bag. He took Joel by the hand, and they made their escape before the students left the stage and noticed Joel was gone. When they reached the car, Marcus took Joel into his arms and kissed him.

  “Congratulations on a job well done. You were amazing tonight.” Marcus’s smile was now a huge grin. “When you asked me if I minded if people knew we were together, I didn’t expect you to announce it to the world like that. Wow.”

  “You don’t mind, do you?” Although the question was now an attempt to shut the barn door once the horse had bolted, Joel still had to ask.

  “Of course not.” Marcus kissed Joel again. “You’ve made me very happy.” He seemed nervous. “Do you mind if I drive? There’s somewhere I want to take you before we go home.”

  “WHY are we here?” Joel asked when Marcus pulled up near the spot by the Waiwhetu stream that Joel had first taken him to six weeks ago. “What are you up to? Should I worry?”

  Marcus waited until Joel joined him by the curbside, and then led him by the hand until they reached the tree with its split trunk. “Trust me?”

  “Of course.” Joel crossed his arms to keep warm and blew out white breaths of air.

  Despite the cold, it was a clear night, and the area was illuminated by moonlight and the pale glow of nearby streetlights.

  Marcus cleared his throat. His mouth felt dry. Joel frowned, clearly confused. He wouldn’t be for long. Marcus had decided long ago that if he ever did this, he’d do it properly.

  He got down on one knee and fished into his pocket for the small box he’d collected from the jeweler that morning. “I love you, Joel, with everything I am. Will you marry me?”

  Joel opened his mouth as though he was about to speak, but nothing came out. He reached for the tree to steady himself.

  “Joel?” Oh God. Had he done the wrong thing? Marcus had thought the night of the concert would be the perfect time, and he’d taken care to make sure Joel didn’t suspect anything.

  What if Joel said no? What if—

  Joel yanked Marcus to his feet, threw his arms around Marcus’s neck, and kissed him soundly. “Yes, yes, yes! Oh, God, yes. I love you. Of course I’ll marry you!”

  Marcus let out a loud sigh. “I have a ring,” he said. “You know. In case….”

  Joel grinned. “Yeah, in a case. I got that.” He took the case when Marcus offered it to him and opened it. “Wow. Very classy. I love it.”

  “I saw it and thought of you,” Marcus said. “If you don’t like it, I can swap it for—”

  Joel cut him off with a kiss. “I thought I was the one who babbled when I was nervous.” He held out his hand. “Can I wear it now or is it a wedding ring?”

  “It’s both, if that’s okay.” Marcus slipped the plain gold band onto Joel’s finger and then kissed it. Darin had helped him figure out the size, although he’d been sworn to secrecy. “Perfect.”

  “More than okay.” Joel stared at his ring. “Wow, just wow. I’ll get you one as well of course, if you don’t mind waiting. I’m amazed you hid this so well. I had no clue. When do you want to—”

  This time it was Marcus’s turn to silence Joel with a kiss. This one was deep and passionate, a physical reminder to Joel of how much Marcus loved and wanted him. “Now it’s time to go home,” Marcus said. “I want to hold you and show you how much I love you.”

  “I’d like that too.” Joel wrapped his arm around Marcus’s waist. “I meant everything I said tonight, you know. I love you. Marriage is a big step. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who works long hours, talks too much, and—”

  “Yes,” Marcus whispered. “Very much so. You’re the man I love, Joel, and all that is a part of who you are.” Once he’d realized Joel was the one, he hadn’t seen the point in waiting. He’d already wasted too many years with someone who wasn’t. “Please don’t ever change.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I’M not going anywhere near work for at least the first week of these holidays.” Joel lay stretched out on the sofa, with his feet on Marcus’s lap.

  Marcus raised an eyebrow. “Should I be looking for a pod and saving the real Joel from alien invaders?”

  Joel tossed a cushion at him at the Invasion of the Body Snatchers reference. They’d watched the 1950s version of the movie the weekend before. Marcus hadn’t seen a lot of older classic movies, so Joel decided it was something that needed rectifying, especially as Darin had a decent collection they could borrow.

  “Don’t worry, I’m still me.” Joel took a sip of his coffee and let out a contented sigh. “No concert to worry about this break, so I can afford to take some time off. I do that occasionally, you know.”

  “Really?” Marcus laughed when Joel hunted for another cushion. They were heading down to Hokitika later in the week. Marcus was looking forward to their spending time with his parents, and they were excited by the opportunity to get to know Joel better.

  The doorbell rang, and Marcus shoved Joel’s feet off his lap. “I’ll go answer that. You finish your coffee.”

  “Okay, thanks. Not going to argue with my brave mo
nster hunter.” Joel ignored Marcus’s snort and swung his feet off the sofa so he could retrieve the book he’d dropped earlier. A single ray of sunlight through the open window caught his ring, and he smiled. He still couldn’t believe Marcus had proposed. It felt like a dream, but one he never wanted to wake from. They’d decided to wait until April the following year to get married, when the school holidays were closest to the anniversary of their first kiss.

  Marcus held an envelope when he reentered the room. “I found this taped to the front door.” He handed it to Joel. “It’s addressed to you, but I don’t recognize the handwriting.”

  “I do,” Joel said slowly. He ripped open the envelope, read through the letter inside quickly, and then scanned it again to make sure he hadn’t misread the words.

  “What is it?” Marcus asked, sitting down beside Joel. “Everything okay?”

  “It’s from Dad.” Joel gave Marcus the letter. If someone else read it too, it meant the letter and its contents were real. “I… I thought I saw him at the concert, but when I looked again, he was gone.”

  “He was there,” Marcus confirmed. “I saw him too. I figured it was a step forward, but when you didn’t mention it, I thought you didn’t want to talk about it, so I wasn’t going to push you.” He grew quiet as he read the letter, then finally handed it back to Joel. “This is good, right? He wants to meet with you.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” Joel hoped Marcus wasn’t being overly optimistic. “If he wants to put things right, why leave the concert? He turned away when I tried to meet his gaze. And why skulk around leaving notes on our front door? He could have phoned me or posted a letter the way normal people do.”

  “Maybe he wanted to make sure you got it?” Marcus shuffled closer and put his arm around Joel. “He says in the letter he finds it difficult because of the number of years that have already passed.”

  “He’s not the only one finding it difficult,” Joel muttered. He dropped the letter onto his lap. “I don’t know, Marcus. I thought… I…. After all this time, I should be happy he’s finally contacted me, right? What if this is just to tell me to give up, and he’s not interested? What if…?”