“What’s the big idea?” I shoved him back angrily. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Ah, I saw you sulking in there and thought I’d lighten things up. So what’s the deal? Why so glum, chum?” He stepped aside, allowing me room to walk past him.
Without giving him a second glance I replied, “Honestly, I really didn’t want to see you today.” I couldn’t see his face, but I could tell my words had affected him. Good. After that bullshit he fed me the day before, I was ready to have the ball back in my court.
“Aw, c’mon, Rocky. It was always fun and games with us. Are you really that mad because I believe you’re not the two-dimensional creature you’re trying to make everyone else believe you are?”
I paused, caught completely off guard. It was exactly how I described Ethan and I couldn’t believe Jesse would think I’d want to emulate that in any way, shape, or form. Was I really that flat myself? Maybe that’s why Ethan liked me so much.
“How would you describe someone who was two dimensional?” I unlocked the door and pushed it open, hearing the familiar chime of the bell.
Jesse bit his lip and squinted his eyes. “Someone who is too damn predictable.”
“Predictability isn’t a good thing? I mean, doesn’t everyone like consistency?”
“That’s like always ordering vanilla, but never dabbling and trying Rocky Road or caramel. Sure you’re guaranteed to have a satisfactory outcome, but it’s nothing extraordinary.”
Nothing extraordinary. Huh.
“I think you’re giving me way too much credit, Jess.” I walked over to my regular spot by the cash wrap and threw my purse into the small cubby underneath. As I peeled off my bubble jacket, I was vaguely aware how close Jesse was standing behind me. If I moved a few inches back, I would have tickled his nostrils with the faux fur of my hood.
Jesse stayed planted beside me with a perplexed look on his face. “What do you mean?”
“Like I said, that night was a fluke. I’m hardly 3D.”
“And like I said, sometimes the subconscious has a funny way of revealing one’s true self.”
I turned to him and smirked. “You never said that.”
“In so many words I did,” he argued.
“Okay, you just went from after school special to New Age nut in a span of two days.”
His throaty chuckle caused his Adam’s apple to bounce again. I found myself gazing at his neck and admiring the vein that traveled down to his clavicle. I could almost imagine myself licking and biting it.
Biting? What the hell, Rocky? Are you a vampire now?
I shook my head, snapping myself out of momentary delirium. In an attempt to save face, as well as appease my guilt over the whole Ethan debacle, I said, “I happen to think consistency is a good thing. I hate the unknown. Give me black and white, X-Y-Z, and vanilla any day.”
Jesse lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. After a few moments, his silence began to bother me.
“Silent treatment again, I see,” I muttered, eyeing him carefully. His jaw tensed as if he were biting back words. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Just spill it.”
“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you were caught up with all the hoopla that night. I mean, I am a great dancer. Wouldn’t surprise me if I somehow hypnotized you enough to get your panties all wet.”
I’d be lying if I said they were dry at that moment. Hearing Jesse say those words had about the same effect on me as a heat lamp shining against my skin. I felt my body flush and my stomach flurry, but tried to keep a straight face.
“That’s what I told you to begin with!” I yelped, trying to calm myself down.
Jesse raised his eyebrows. “Huh?”
“Um, I mean about being in the moment, not about you dancing…or getting me wet…I mean my panties…Uhhh…I mean…” I shifted uncomfortably, praying that somehow I’d be enlightened with the wisdom of how to get out of the hole I just dug myself in.
Jesse’s face also reddened quite a bit. He quickly looked away and clucked, “Guess you were right. I always did drag you down with me. You never did have a wild streak, did you?”
I shook my head. “Not as much as you think I did.”
He nodded slowly. “Why did you go along with everything back then? Shits and giggles or…”
“Protection,” I reminded him.
He snorted. “Protection. Well, I guess I owe you that now.”
I arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not comfortable enough to tell you that.”
Instead of growing irritated again, my mind raced. Maybe Jesse would finally stop playing with my mind! It’d be great timing, considering my parents gave me no choice but to handle the whole store by myself. I couldn’t afford any distractions to screw me up.
Clearing my throat, I peered at him closely. “Due to this epiphany, are you giving up on me again? I thought you had some grand scheme to open up my inner self or whatever.”
“Seems pointless now,” he muttered. “Besides, I was just having fun with you. Like old times. I imagined us causing a ruckus again.”
“Ruckus? Damn, what happened to you?” I teased.
“Point is,” he said, interjecting, “I thought it would be cool to mess with you, but seeing as you’re so set in your ways—well, I don’t want to do permanent damage.”
“Permanent damage? Were you going to perform a lobotomy or something?”
“I thought you were just in denial. At the very least, I thought you were just putting up an act since you were so embarrassed about what happened that night.” He nodded his head in thought. “Honestly, it would have been a bad idea to take you down that rabbit hole. Things have changed and there’s no denying it.”
“Things have changed all right, but not in the way you think,” I said firmly. At that moment I made up my mind that I was no longer the nervous girl who was too scared of showing her feelings. Hell, I’ve already crossed one hurdle during NYE, why not go all the way?
He lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“You keep saying that I’m some hidden vixen, but what about you?”
“What about me?”
“All the polite ‘yes sirs’ and ‘no sirs’—it’s obvious there’s not a bad bone in your body anymore. Why try so hard to make me bad when it’s obvious that you aren’t, anymore?”
“I told you, it was all in jest. Besides, I grew up. I told you I’m not that dumb kid anymore.” His lips were tight and expression cold. There was something hidden deep in his eyes; something he wanted desperately to hide. I was determined to find out what it was.
“But yet you still want me to be the same dumb girl,” I clucked.
“Rocky, just drop it. If you want me to be honest, I thought it would be a way to reconnect us again. You know—to have fun. But look…” He gestured between us. “We’re bickering and arguing the same way we always did. That’s a good thing! It shows us we can be the same without being the same.”
I turned away and shook my head without so much as a reply.
He threw his head back and groaned. “Are you mad at me or something?”
Mad because you keep shutting me out? Mad because you walked away from me twice?
I gazed back at him and curled my lips into an innocent smile. “Why would I be?”
He bit his lip and frowned. “Enough of this stupidity, okay? I’m sorry I teased you. I’m sorry I accused you of being boring.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “You don’t get it, do you?”
His hands shot up in exasperation. “Obviously, I don’t.”
“I am mad—”
“I knew it!”
I narrowed my eyes. “I’m mad because you can stand here and judge me when you obviously don’t know anything about me, and that’s because you cut me off!”
“Okay, I deserve that,” he conceded.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready to. “What’s this you say about permanent damage? Do you really think
that little of me that I can’t take a joke?”
“I started this mess so I’m going to end it. We’re friends again, okay? No proving the other wrong. Let’s just have fun hanging out again.”
“How can I have fun when I don’t know anything about you? You’re never comfortable enough to tell me anything!”
“I’ve already told you a lot about me.”
“Well, I must have missed that memo.”
He scratched at his eyebrow and sighed. “Like I said, I’m sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way. I guess I was feeling a bit guilty about how things ended with us and I was in a rush to get things back to normal.”
Good, so he felt guilty. That didn’t answer the burning question in my mind. “Why did you walk away, Jesse?”
“I’m…” His voice trailed off.
“Not comfortable, right.” My voice oozed sarcasm and I was sure he picked up on it. I didn’t know whether to cry, scream or in the very least beg for some rhyme or reason as to why he shut me out. I needed to know if somehow I had caused the rift in our relationship.
His deep voice crooned hesitantly. “Can we just make a promise? Can we just try to act normal around each other?”
I didn’t even know what normal was anymore. Regardless, I agreed. At least for the duration of my parents’ trip. “Fine. Done.”
But I was beyond done. I’d show Jesse I was so much more than the girl he thought I was. Maybe if I made him squirm enough I’d finally get some answers out of him. Maybe if he really saw me he’d finally realize I was always so much more than a friend.
He couldn’t really expect that I’d take his bullshit without retaliation, did he?
Two could play at this game.
Chapter 14
“Jesse, get your ass down from there! You’re going to break your neck.”
“What are you, my mom? Even my mom wouldn’t care if I did.” He chuckled. His eyes were glassy with a distant look in them.
“Jesse…”
He jumped off the side rail of the bleachers and landed gracefully onto the grass. “See? Unharmed.”
I rolled my eyes and laid back down on the metal seat. My thin shawl did little to keep me warm and I was almost tempted to go back into the gym—shelter to keep me warm. But I didn’t want to leave Jesse. Not when he was so drunk and vulnerable.
“Jesse?”
“Yeah?”
“What happened tonight?”
“What do you mean?”
I picked up the flask which was perched by the abandoned stilettos that I was so going to return the next day. Bitches gave me three blisters!
I stared at the dirtied container, running my fingers against the smudges—his fingerprints. “Something must have driven you to—”
“To drink? To act a fool?” His laugh was sad. Something definitely happened.
“Well, yeah.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but abruptly shut it and looked away. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Um, okay. Like what?”
He shrugged and quietly climbed the bleachers until he was right beside me. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and was surprised when he peeled off his leather jacket and placed it around my shoulders.
“Thanks,” I said quietly.
He nodded, but didn’t reply.
Looking off into the distance, I asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
“Whatever you want.”
He was sitting so close to me that I could feel his breath on my cheek. I shut my eyes, imagining a situation far different. If only I felt his breath before a kiss…
“Have you ever been in love before?” The question took us both by surprise. I attempted to keep my expression light as if there was no deeper meaning behind my words. I wasn’t sure if he was buying it.
“What brings this question up?” he asked quietly.
Fake smile and all, I replied, “Just remembered an article I read in a magazine. Some statistic about how many people fall in love before the age of eighteen. I was wondering where you fit into it.”
“Well, you know me better than anyone. You know the answer to that.”
“Do I? You might be keeping secrets from me.”
“Definitely none about my love life.”
I frowned. Did that mean he was hiding others?
He reached out and pushed back that stubborn tendril that continued to fall against my face. His fingers grazed my cheek and I shuddered like some pathetic schoolgirl. “What about you? Have you ever been in love?”
“You know the answer to that.” My voice was low and raspy. I hoped to God he couldn’t read through my tone.
He nodded. “Yeah, you always did squirm around guys.”
I blinked, feeling insulted. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Some girls are just too shy. A guy gives them a look and it’s automatic flusterness…is that even a word?”
“No, it’s not, and I don’t get flustered!”
“Yes, you do!”
“Prove it.”
He grabbed me by the shoulders, turning me so I had nowhere to look but at him. “I want you to look at me.”
“I am looking at you.” I fidgeted slightly and gulped.
“Rocky, look at me.”
Hesitantly, I peered into his brown eyes, which were flecked with spots of gold. I always thought he had the most beautiful eyes ever. Not just because of the color, but because of the soul and weight he carried behind them. Absently, I felt myself twitch.
One by one his fingers released me. “See?”
As if waking up from a deep sleep, I whispered, “See what?”
“You squirmed. If you can squirm that way because of your best friend, imagine what I notice when I see you interacting with all those other boys.”
“What other boys?” I shook my head. “And I was not squirming!”
He chuckled and reached for his flask. I immediately placed it by my bare feet and kicked it away. It landed with a thump onto the dewy grass below us. He frowned, but didn’t seem angry. “You squirmed.”
I didn’t respond, afraid he would see right through my lie. I was afraid he’d figure out exactly why I did.
***
“I’ll show him,” I grumbled, lugging the box of questionable toys to the register. Though deep down inside I knew that tasking him with the odd project would hardly phase him, at the same time I wanted him to see that I could be a rule breaker when the time called for it. Truthfully, I had no idea why I wanted him to see that side of me.
“Jesse to the front, please. Jesse to the front.” My hands shook a little as I waited to see his tall figure emerge from The Dungeon. When I spotted his perfectly sculpted face, I took a gulp. “Here goes nothing.”
Pasting a smile on my face, I said cheerfully (maybe a bit too cheerfully). “Hey! I need you to do something for me.”
Jesse brushed a pair of filthy hands on his orange apron and lifted an eyebrow. “And what is that?”
“Well, as you know I’m the boss for a few days so I decided that we should clear out a new section for some items our store has been sitting on. Do you mind taking this over to the garden supply section and clearing out space for it?” My voice chirped in the annoying way you’d expect a sales associate to talk. Even I was getting irritated at myself.
Jesse grabbed the box from me. I quietly watched him open the flap, admiring the way his gray beanie sat just above his forehead so a few strands of hair peeked out and the way his sharp jaw line curved to meet his ears. Sexy.
“What the hell?” He dropped the flap and peered at me. “Are you serious? You want me to put these out?”
I straightened my shoulders. “What? You have a problem with it?”
He shook his head. “You know your dad is going to kill you if he sees these on the floor. When he spotted me lugging these back the other day he basically chewed my ass out and told me to burn them.”
I blinked. “Did he really? Doesn’t
sound like him.”
“Well, no,” Jesse admitted. “But he did tell me to stick them in the back.”
I stifled a laugh.
“Not like that!” Jesse snorted. “Anyway, your dad has a bad habit of hoarding, I hope you know this.”
I shrugged. “Why else open a store of knick-knacks? Dad has it in his head that throwing out perfectly good items are wasteful. Even if he’d never purposely sell those, he would never chuck them in the garbage. He thinks it’s bad juju or something.”
“So, why do you want these out? Like I said, if your dad sees these he’ll kill you.”
Precisely the reason why I’m going to clean the shelves off myself before they come back.
“Why not?” I replied nonchalantly.
He leaned his forearm against the side of the box and peered at me. His eyes widened in understanding. “This wouldn’t be your form of rebellion, would it?”
I lifted my chin. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
His lips slowly curled up until his white teeth were exposed. “Yes, you do. You want to prove to me that there is a bad girl under there.” He lifted a finger and pointed towards my chest. “I admit you had me going for a minute there. I mean, this is pretty rebellious, albeit not by much.”
Not by much? Really? My parents would disown me! Despite being twenty-three, they were literally still paying for the roof over my head. I could only imagine them kicking me to the curb and making sure I took the box of dicks with me.
I frowned. “I’m dead serious. We’re hardly selling any garden supplies. If you haven’t noticed, it’s snowing outside.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, I want you to go to Aisle 8, clear out those hoses, and stick these suckers in the front!”
Jesse gnawed at his bottom lip then nodded. “Fine. I’ll play along.”
“I’m not playing!” I snapped, wondering if I was making a good decision.
Two Outta Three (Two Outta Three #1) Page 9
