The Eternal Philistine
Page 16
He had been frantically searching for her for a while now, and it was almost one thirty. And then finally there she was, standing on the corner. She was conversing with a chauffeur who had a powerful effect on women. You could tell this just by looking at him, which is why Herr Reithofer waited until they had finished speaking.
And then he slowly approached her from behind, feeling so noble and good that it hurt him.
“Good evening, Fräulein!” he greeted her unexpectedly.
Anna looked back, recognized him and was so startled that she couldn’t utter a peep. Her reaction was, however, unwarranted, because he merely told her that he had found a respectable employment opportunity for her, the only thing was she’d have to take a ride to Ulm on the Danube tomorrow morning at eight with a real Councilor of Commerce, which would be a real lifesaver for her.
She was staring at him, and he had to repeat himself because she could not understand him. But then she cut him off touchily, saying he should go find somebody else to tell his mean jokes to; that she refused to tolerate this crude teasing and all this mockery.
But he would not let her out of his sight. Now he really felt bad for this shithead for not believing in the Councilor of Commerce.
She was muttering something about crudeness when suddenly she started to cry. He should just leave her in peace and quiet, she cried, she already had it bad enough as it is. And after all, nobody on earth would chase after her with a lifesaver after having just been taken advantage of. But Herr Reithofer kept silent. And now the shithead, too, stopped talking.
She had, you see, already started to believe that there was only evil in this world, but now she was experiencing an instance of the contrary, this being admittedly only a small instance, but nonetheless an indication of the possibility of human culture and civilization. Her face wore a different expression and she stopped crying.
“I’d never have thought it.” She smiled, and it hurt her to do so.
“You see, Fräulein,” said Herr Reithofer, “it’s possible to do things without being in love, basically out of human solidarity.”
Then he walked off.
And he had a pleasant feeling doing it, for now he could to some extent attest to the fact that he had helped out a shithead. Something along these lines:
Testimonial
I am hereby pleased to attest that the shithead, Joseph Reithofer, is an altruistic shithead. He’s a kind, good, and honest shithead.
Sgd. Joseph Reithofer
Shithead.
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