by Diane Ezzard
I ended the call. I hadn’t even told her about the card left yesterday. I wasn’t happy with her. She thought she knew all the answers, and she knew nothing.
That lunchtime, I went along to the little cafe, tucked down one of the side streets that had become the rendezvous spot where I met up with Cassie. I was still holding onto a resentment against Steph. The way she spoke to me worried me. Did this mean no one would believe me? What was I going to do about it? I had to put these thoughts aside when Cassie turned up.
She arrived on time which was unusual but she seemed distant. We were both sat drinking our coffees.
I glanced over at her and said, “I’ve been looking into the possibility of getting you into a women’s hostel if or when you’ve had enough with Charlie.” Cassie looked back at me, shaking her head.
“No, no, I couldn’t do that.” I was disappointed as I thought she might have been ready to leave.
“So, what is making you so reluctant to leave, Cassie?” I enquired.
“I don’t know. Just the idea makes me get all nervous. I think I would feel a failure if I left and had to give up everything and start again. It all feels too daunting.” My expression must have appeared down as I listened to her reply.
“You know I would help you every step of the way. Breaking away would mean a chance for you to make a new life, plus I don’t think it’s safe for you to stay with Charlie.”
“I don’t know. Even thinking about what you said fills me with fear.”
“But surely that’s not as bad as the fear you have when Charlie hits you.” I saw I’d touched a nerve. “Anyway,” I continued, “You don’t have to make your mind up now, have a think about what you want to do.” I gave her a sad-looking smile, and we finished our drinks. Our meeting today hadn’t gone well. Both of us had been sitting for periods in silence and I knew I wasn’t giving Cassie a hundred percent of my attention.
Thinking about my own situation too much, I felt bad, so I arranged to meet Cassie again a couple of days later. I told her I would be in the area and it wasn’t out of my way. As we both rose to leave, I went to hug Cassie, and she winced. I decided to ignore her reaction. If Cassie had a bruised body that she wasn’t willing to talk about then maybe now wasn’t the right time for me to start lecturing her about leaving Charlie.
We arranged to meet the following Tuesday at the same coffee shop. I was on lunch break from work and arrived slightly early. Cassie didn’t appear, so I ordered a drink and a sandwich and began checking the emails on my phone. My order came, and I glanced at the time. Cassie was already twenty minutes late.
Jerking my head to the side every time the door opened, I watched as another customer came in. Each time, I got my hopes up it might be Cassie. I was concerned, so I sent her a friendly text: Hi, Just ordered food, do u want me to order anything for u? No reply came back. I sat waiting.
Watching the clouds pass by out of the window, I was bemused by how rapidly the formation changed from cotton wool balls to a grey canvas. I waited some more.
I tried ringing Cassie a couple of times but the calls went straight through to voicemail. The waitress approached to take away my plate and mug and I had to resign myself to the fact Cassie wasn’t coming. I’d stayed as long as possible before going back to the office.
I had a lot of work on. They were short staffed, so I had been given extra clients to deal with, which meant I struggled to make headway with the paperwork. I was so busy that concerns for Cassie were soon shelved.
I had been staying late for the last couple of weeks to keep on top of my workload and tonight was no exception. I hoped the bosses noticed my dedication even if I was putting the hours in partly due to the fact I didn’t want to be home alone at the moment. I was becoming increasingly more suspicious about the events that had happened to me.
A couple of days passed, and I still hadn’t heard anything from Cassie so, when work ended that day, I decided to drive past the home she shared with Charlie to try to check things out. I felt nervous sneaking around, but I wanted reassurance she was okay. I drove my car to the end of Cassie’s road and parked up on the corner, having decided to walk down. If I was seen I didn’t have an excuse for being in the area but I thought it was worth taking the risk. I felt edgy as I approached their house. My palms were sweating. The place was in darkness. I tentatively walked up the path and had a quick look through the windows and letter box but saw nothing unusual or suspicious. I was disappointed and going to their home didn’t ease the tension.
The following Monday, Cassie was scheduled to attend the counselling session with me at the centre. I had already put the time aside to do paperwork as I felt certain she wouldn’t turn up, so I was surprised when she came bursting through the door. She was upset and explained she had been in hospital.
“Oh dear, Cassie. Come in and sit down.” I listened intently as she spoke.
“Charlie hit me and knocked me unconscious. The police arrested him but they released him without any charges because he’d persuaded me to say I’d tripped and fallen down the stairs. I’m so sorry but I’m scared of him. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“It’s okay, Cassie. You’re being very brave. It must be taking all your courage to come here so I understand you feel you need to do as Charlie says.” He’d also confiscated her phone. I thought for a while. If Cassie was still being coerced by Charlie, then she wasn’t going to be talked into leaving him yet, but she did agree to get herself a secret pay-as-you-go phone to use in emergencies if she felt in danger.
When Cassie first came for therapy, she tried to justify Charlie’s behaviour, but now she was beginning to see things in a new light. She told me something of his life.
“Charlie had an unhappy home life. He didn’t get on with his parents. He had the same traditional views as his father who was strict and thought a woman’s place was in the home looking after her man. It has taken me a while to see how Charlie’s behaviour has been affecting me. I’d been brainwashed by him into believing I was inferior.”
I still needed to use all my skills in helping Cassie bring about a change in her perception and attitude, but she was already starting to see she didn’t have to live this way. I had given her my home phone number which wasn’t the norm but I was worried for her safety. Although I thought honesty was generally the best policy, in this situation with Cassie’s partner, I saw that being truthful could damage the work that was being done were Charlie to find out what was going on. If he got wind of the fact someone knew how he had been treating Cassie, I thought I probably wouldn’t see her again.
Her feelings ranged from denial to anger. She still walked on eggshells. She still took the beatings and she couldn’t contemplate what might happen if she were to leave.
I didn’t enjoy cases such as Cassie’s. It often felt as though it was one step forward and two steps back. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere, and she said all the right things, she got scared, thinking of the possible consequences and backed down. The futility of it all infuriated me. Hindsight had shown me finding the courage to leave was the best thing to do if not the easiest.
Towards the end of that week, I’d got up early and gone out for my morning run, down by the river. I loved being out first thing in the morning before the traffic woke up. Even from the river path, the sounds of car horns and civilisation interrupted the peace and encroached on my solitude.
Today I was half way around when I started to get a stitch. I slowed down, holding my side. I tried massaging my leg, but the pain remained. There was a bench further along the path so I decided to take five minutes out and rest. I sat down and my mind drifted away. I was staring down at the puddles when I heard a dog barking and I looked up. A man walking his Yorkie had tripped up just in front of the bench where I sat. The dog yapped and jumped around. I had to keep a straight face as I found the scene very amusing. I got up from where I’d been sitting to see if he needed any assistance.
“Are you okay?
”
I went to help him but he was embarrassed by the whole episode and rose to his feet.
“I’m fine, thanks.” He patted himself down. He was tall and muscular and his choice of dog made me smile. It was small and cute, somehow they didn’t seem to go together. People often chose a dog that mirrored their personality but these two were more like Laurel and Hardy or Little and Large. The man gave me a nervous look and went on his way.
I set off back home. I had things to do and needed to start getting ready. I jogged steadily back to the flat. Just as I approached the front of my place, I spotted some glass on the ground near the gate. I strolled up to it with heavy steps. My car was parked outside and, as I got nearer, I saw my rear passenger window had been smashed.
I checked inside the vehicle. Nothing appeared to have been taken. Thieves go for radios or sat navs. The radio was still in place and I didn’t have a sat nav or anything else of value in the car. Whether it was an opportunist who got disturbed or some random act of vandalism, I wasn’t sure. I checked down the road. It didn’t look as though any other cars had been damaged. Then I glanced back at my car and noticed to my horror all the tyres were flat. On closer inspection, I saw they had been slashed. My heart raced. I was annoyed and agitated. What was going on?
I walked up the path feeling despondent. I would now have all the hassle of sorting my car out, getting on to the insurance and the police. I glanced at the time. I needed to get ready promptly. Without a vehicle at my disposal, I would have to catch the bus into work. After a quick shower, I got dressed and put on some blusher and mascara. I had to get out of the house as soon as possible. I decided I’d leave sorting the car out until I got back, reasoning it wasn’t as though anyone would steal it with no tyres.
Just then, as if on cue, the house phone rang again, and I jumped up in shock. I dashed straight into the bedroom and shut the door in an attempt to block out the sound of the ringing. I felt defiant and determined I wasn’t going to answer it and I would ignore any messages left. I brushed my hair, but the noise of the ringing unnerved me. I needed to pull myself together. I composed myself, feeling I was overreacting and unplugged the phone. I didn’t need the landline when I wasn’t using the internet. That felt better, taking back control of the situation. I put on my jacket, checked I had my keys and mobile and off I went. I breathed a sigh of relief as I shut the front door behind me.
Chapter Fifteen
NOW
I sorted the car out, deciding not to go through the insurance. I bought a set of cheap tyres and got the window fixed. The police logged the details and told me there had been a number of similar car break-ins in the area and that I was lucky nothing had been taken. I didn’t feel lucky. I tried to make sense of what was going on in my life but I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t think I’d upset anyone enough to do these things to me. I was totally confused.
With Max’s cute face to greet me every day, and the phone unplugged for most of the time, I tried to push out any feelings of uneasiness but the nagging doubts in the back of my mind wouldn’t go away. I wanted to know who was behind the menacing calls and if this latest incident was connected. I wasn’t hopeful the police would find out anything.
Although I hadn’t seen Jay for many years, I wondered if he was involved in what was happening to me. It had his trademark style on it. I thought about Martin, Jay’s brother-in-law. Maybe I ought to check with him to find out if he’d heard anything from Jay. I hadn’t seen Martin down the gym for ages but I knew which pub he frequented. Although I didn’t enjoy going into pubs at all these days, I thought for peace of mind, I would make the sacrifice, just this once.
That night I headed out for the Red Lion to try to spot Martin and see if he had any up-to-date information about Jay. It wasn’t the most salubrious of pubs and it was years since I frequented it but I boldly went up to the bar and ordered a sparkling water. Memories of heavy drinking sessions with people I hardly knew came flooding back, making me shudder.
I panned the scene. There was no music blaring away like I remembered. Two blokes were sat in the corner playing dominoes, a couple were huddled over a table obviously having an argument and a group of three men stood chatting at the other end of the bar, not exactly a wild night out. I couldn’t see Martin. No sign of anyone with his tall stature and bald head anywhere so I asked the barman if he had seen him. He told me Martin generally came in on Tuesdays and Thursdays for darts nights and, apart from that, just when they were showing football.
I drank up and decided to call in again on a darts night and sure enough, when I walked in on the following Tuesday, he was stood at the bar. Wearing his tan leather jacket, I recognised him straightaway, despite the cap he had on. He spotted me, coming over and kissing me on the cheek.
“Fred told me a fit redhead had been asking after me and I couldn’t think who it was. I should have realised it was you but if you’re after my body you’ll have to wait until after the darts match.” He smiled and winked at me. I shook my head and smiled back. I wasn’t enjoying the stale smell of beer but thought, under the circumstances, I had to make a few sacrifices. Although Martin was a relative of Jay’s through marrying Jay’s sister, Dot, Martin and I always got on well. I was sorry to hear his relationship with Dot hadn’t lasted. He said things had broken down as she had mental health issues. He didn’t go into detail and I didn’t ask. Martin knew what a psychopath Jay was, and he empathised with what I had gone through.
“I’d like a chat after your game if that’s okay?” I didn’t wait for an answer as I knew Martin would speak to me and I sat down in the corner and watched the match. When the darts finished, Martin came straight over.
“So, what can I do for you, pretty lady?” I told him about the sinister phone calls, the note left and the vandalism to my car. I was sure Martin would never divulge my whereabouts, even if he had known where I lived, but I still felt I wanted to gauge his reaction.
“I don’t think for one minute it’s Jay because he lives in Scotland now, even if it does sound the sort of thing he is capable of, but if it gives you any peace of mind, I’ll check him out for you, discreetly.” I felt relieved, and we exchanged phone numbers, with Martin promising to get back to me as soon as he knew anything for certain.
*********************
A few days later I met up with Cassie at our usual spot. This time I was pleased with her as it seemed as though she may have had some sort of breakthrough with regards to Charlie. Her thinking had shifted as she actually sounded more determined she was going to leave him.
“I’d got as far as packing a bag the other day, Sophie. You’d have been proud of me. I didn’t know where I was going to go but I felt like the time had come to make a move. I took a chance while Charlie was down at the bookies. I thought he’d be gone at least an hour so it gave me time to search around for important documents such as my passport. It took me a while to find that because Charlie had hidden it. I’d just come down the stairs with my small case. My heart thumped, and I was fearful of what I was doing but I knew it was now or never. I was pleased with myself I’d managed to pluck up the courage to make a move. As I walked down the hall, I felt my heart was going to leap out of my chest, it was beating so loud.” Cassie took a sip of water from the glass on the table.
“Just then I saw a shadow through the glass front door and realised Charlie was back. I have never been so frightened in my entire life. I quickly threw the case in the cupboard under the stairs and welcomed him as though nothing had happened. He suspected something because he said I seemed edgy but I managed to get away with it. If he had ever found the case and thought I intended to leave him, I don’t think I’d be here now to tell the tale. I’m going to have to wait for another chance but I’m sure I will get an opportunity soon. I want to do this now, Sophie.”
I was becoming increasingly concerned for Cassie’s safety and, although I didn’t want to alarm the girl unnecessarily, I wanted to make sure she had a watertig
ht plan in place on leaving Charlie. I had given her my address to be used in the case of extreme emergencies. This was totally against company regulations.
I had quite a number of other clients to focus my time and skills on such as Fatima, the Muslim girl who had been held captive by her family as they didn’t agree with her choice of partner. This was a difficult case as the mother insisted on sitting in on therapy, so at first, they were only offered a family session. It became clear Fatima needed one-to-one help.
Another case I was dealing with was Karen whose husband had left her after thirty-five years together and she was lost, couldn’t make any decisions for herself, had no self-confidence and very little self-esteem. Bringing her out of her shell proved to be difficult and slow. There were many Karens in the world and I wanted to make a difference in their lives, so I knew I couldn’t afford to make a mistake with Cassie.
The way our friendship was developing, I thought I would have to refer Cassie on to someone else. I didn’t want to lose my job because of making a wrong move. I knew what I needed to do and made a mental note the next time Cassie came for therapy, I would discuss other options with her.
A couple of night later, I treated myself to an early bath, with candles and a luxury camomile bath bomb. I felt warm and relaxed in my pyjamas and turned to see what was on TV when a loud knock came at the door. The time was only 8.30, but it still seemed rather late for any canvassers or door-to-door salesmen and I wasn’t expecting anyone. The knocking was persistent and loud and the noise unnerved me. I went over to the front window and peeped through the curtains. I couldn’t make out who was there but could make out it was a female from the body shape, so I plucked up the courage to answer.
As I opened the door, I got a total shock when I saw Cassie’s bruised and cut face in front of me. I glanced around to check no one else was in the vicinity and ushered her in.
