Star Kitten

by Purple Hazel

  Yes, the happy couple needed to get married! And a real WEDDING needed to be planned: one that would show all beings on the planet how a male—of any species—could commit his loyalty and devotion to something other than just himself or his tribe. That’s why when Solomon stood up to be recognized before the Assembly later that month he used his customary five minute speaking time, to turn to his delegation and ask that his lovely feline mate step forward. He dropped to one knee at her feet, and took her paw-like hand saying, “My Darling Felina, would you marry me?”

  Hundreds guffawed with surprise. Thousands more cheered wildly at seeing such a beautiful sight. Vlad the Impaler and his Arian Knights delegation stood and clapped, while Vlad’s male companion Phillip squealed with delight. The Inshallah tribe soon chimed in with whoops and hollers of unabashed sheer joy. Porkos, Pumalars, and Zorgs all joined in with them. Slarts even fluttered their cheeks and raised their tentacles in salute. It was about time, many would say later; or did say to each other at the time. It was just what everyone wanted to see and it made sense. They belonged with each other, Solomon and Felina: it would be a marriage of equals.

  And with that, the clear message was sent to the hundreds in attendance; and the thousands who would find out about it later: a true Naustie should and could abandon his barbaric ways; and take a wife. The example had to be set, that’s all… and now it had begun at the very top of Naustie society. This would be the event of the season: the wedding of Solomon and Felina.

  Chapter 22:

  The Wedding

  A simple ceremony was really all that would be needed, but….

  First came the planning, then came the arrangements; and like many weddings everywhere in the galaxy (and like a million weddings throughout the history of the whole universe) it just grew and grew into an event so unwieldy and ambitious that any preconceived notions of a simple ceremony soon just faded away. What evolved instead was a blockbuster extravaganza that couldn’t possibly accommodate everyone underground. There simply wasn’t a place large enough.

  Architeuthis of course was the obvious choice to perform the ceremony. As the spiritual leader of the planet only he could quite realistically stand before the throng of guests and embody the image of a legitimate figurehead who could declare this union official. To be sure, he was delighted to be selected; and when requested by his old friend Solomon to do so he worked tirelessly to devise a ritual for the event which would both impress—as well as set a precedent for weddings to follow. Likely there’d be many more.

  The only possible site for this huge ceremony was quite obvious. The new solar domed farm was nearing completion of its first 250,000 square foot section and when completed this could easily seat thousands. What's more, because it could be protected from the forbidding climate of New Australia, beings and dignitaries from all tribes could stand or sit through the ceremony comfortably. Manufactured oxygen could be pumped into the finished facility from its new generation plant attached to the huge building; and by performing the ceremony right after sunrise, the temperature inside would be quite tolerable.

  A raised dais could be constructed inside, and since there was no official religion for the planet, no need existed for a priest or a church anyway. Just create the trappings of a wedding ritual with a procession and music and some wise words spoken by a legitimate respected leader—words announcing and declaring this bond of matrimony to be recognized by the Tribal Confederation; and thereby everyone on the planet.

  And as for the implications of this legal “bond” and therefore in effect contractual union; it meant a lot for the planet’s future in terms of fostering new families. That said, outside of Tribal Confederation, there was really no global system of laws on New Australia. No manifestation of a written legal code that reached down to the level of the common citizen. There was nothing in the way of a recognized court system that oversaw daily morality and ruled over conduct between the many diverse beings of New Australia. Law essentially was adjudicated by the different tribes; and Chieftains had ultimate power to pass laws affecting their tribes within their own territories.

  In effect this wedding necessitated a real code of law for marriage; and a global system for enforcing it among the different tribes. Different tribes could NOT be allowed to define marriage differently from one another. One basic system had to be put in place. This was important too, because if Solomon’s and Felina’s marriage was indeed to be recognized by the Tribal Confederation, and not just Solomon’s home tribe the Schpleeftkorkii, then a planetary law needed to be written. Not just assumed; but recorded in the laws of New Australia. Otherwise….

  Well, first of all, if a couple was “married” then other tribes would have to recognize this union as being legally binding. Failing that, and a “wife” or homosexual life partner would have no rights outside their tribal territory… no status as a wife or partner outside the tribe they were a member of. What was the solution? The planet must accept that “marriage” between two wedded parties, regardless of species or gender, had to be defined for the whole planet. MARRIAGE must be defined by law, enacted and ratified by the Tribal Confederation regarding not just property, but shared responsibility for their offspring or adopted siblings. Descendants (whether born of this union; or adopted as children) must have entitlement to their own birthright, as heirs of their parents’ estate as well.

  Never mind that as biologically incompatible species, Solomon and Felina could not sire children or kittens together. Never mind that Felina had no uterus and was incapable of having kittens even with another Pumalar. None of these things mattered in the grand scheme of things. Laws would have to be enacted eventually which would make marriages legitimate in all ways. Felina must be entitled to the property of her warrior husband Solomon upon his death; and have equal rights to her husband in the eyes of the law. Failing that and the ceremony was pointless: the ritual and its pronouncements, no matter how poetic or lovely, would be meaningless.

  Slartifigians serving with Architeuthis were some of the first to point this all out. In fact, they crafted a bill for debate during Tribal Confederation Assembly which outlined the rules of law that must be applied to marriages and the disposition of property then to be legally shared by the two spouses or partners. In their view, the likelihood was that Chieftains had the most to gain by "taking a wife". This was most logical, because creating an heir meant long term stability to the tribe’s membership. A dynasty could then be in place, removing forever the need for a Chieftain to declare a successor and eliminating the potential for a power struggle within a tribe upon the death of its leader. A legitimate heir to the title of Chieftain would be crucial for the tribe; and would have far-reaching effects on the very culture of each tribe for generations to come. The Slarts could see this happening someday; and before anyone else could imagine the consequences, they seized the opportunity to present their case to the Assembly.

  A committee of them, authorized by the Schpleeftkorkii tribe, stood up in Tribal Assembly seeking recognition to speak about their bill. Architeuthis was residing that day as Chairman. They called it the New Australia Laws for Legal Marriage and Inheritance bill, or the NALLMI. The ensuing debate was quite interesting! So many vastly different cultures and species in attendance, weighed in with their opinions. So many different views were expressed about what a “marriage” really was. But eventually it passed. There was plenty to talk about during the debate, oh yes. However there was very little within the contents or details of the bill that could raise any sustainable objections. The logic of the bill was quite simple: If an heir to a Chieftain was to be deemed legitimate, then he or she must be the product of a legitimate union; or adopted by a legally recognized married couple. This would require elevating the status of the mother or companion to that of a wife or legally recognized partner to the Chieftain. Entitled, he or she must be, to his holdings and all property upon his death. Same thing with partners in homosexual unions. It just made sense that way.

&
nbsp; How amazing! In less than a year, since Felina’s dramatic meeting with the Spleef warlord, females were not only rising to the status of social equals… now they could potentially elevate to the status of equal citizenship with rights to property if they married into tribal aristocracies! Resistance to this was quite formidable among some tribes still holding onto the concept of possessing females as mere servants or property, but the wave of social change was now overwhelming….

  Next came the ceremony’s planning. Well, it was really “event planning” more than anything else. Invitations had to be sent out and this was important; because the occasion would warrant inviting all the other tribal Chieftains and their entourages. It would mean drawing an audience numbering quite possibly in the thousands because whereas Tribal Confederation Assembly meetings would bring in perhaps a thousand warriors—this event would mean bringing in females belonging to those tribes too (in hopes of inspiring many more weddings to come). Solomon was hoping for this; and when he explained it that way, Felina dove right in.

  She sent out thousands of invitations. Not on paper; but in person… with attractive female messengers who traveled unescorted throughout the planet and met EACH Chieftain in person to present the invitation. She recruited females from the Schpleeftkorkii tribe, representing three different species, to help her in this effort. And she created specialized committees to help do the planning with her.

  Then there was the issue of a wedding gown… and that’s when human females captured from Star Pussy Earth Environ were called in. Covered in dazzling fur from head to toe, Pumalars didn’t wear clothes, no. But a wedding gown—the women from Star Pussy demanded—had to be worn by the bride. This was just the way things were done, they said! And for Felina, the “sacrifice” had to be made (if one could call it that). Blooming plant buds were to be clipped and adorned or tied into her fur to create a beautiful princess-like appearance; and a vale was made using pieces from old costumes worn by the handful of females from Star Pussy who still possessed their medieval dresses and Roman togas. It made for a colorful mixed array of material; and Felina eventually agreed it was a dazzling outfit. Her bridal “gown” had a train that extended several feet behind her; and when she would walk up the “aisle” of the dirt floor surface to the dais constructed at the front of the assembly, it would trail behind her to a team of attendants who held the ends and marched along slowly using a choreographed cadence in their walk. It was two steps and a pause; then two more steps and a pause, etc. And it was all to the beat and rhythm of the music being played during the procession.

  Solomon, for his part, was to be adorned in a rather dapper tuxedo crafted from material collected by Felina’s staff of attendants; and it was tailored to fit his still quite hardened muscular frame. Choosing white as his base color, they created a jacket and pants that made him stand out smashingly prim. Then a scarf and tie were crafted using a rainbow of colors that matched Felina’s dress. Well it wasn’t exactly a DRESS really. It was frankly more of a cape that tied across the top of her chest with a silver chain. This wedding “gown” framed her dazzling tiger-like striped fur and would make her already curvy feline/humanoid body an incredible sight to behold come wedding day.

  On the big day, thousands had made their way into the Service Tunnel and walked or rode on dump haulers across the planet to the elevator leading up to the new Domed Solar Farm on the surface. They started out early, before dawn most of them, heading up from their subterranean territories and homelands beneath the surface to make it up the sometimes 20 minute elevator ride to the old Service Tunnel and just try catching an empty garbage truck that Spleef Soil Engineers were driving.

  Practically every tribe sent even more than their invitations allotted, but this was more than acceptable to Solomon. Chieftains were all sent invitations which entitled them to bring their bodyguards, ministers, and retainers, but also their personal harems. This could be hundreds of people really, but most chose just ten or twenty of their best warriors and the prettiest females from their harems. Pumalar chieftains of course brought ALL of the Pumalar females in their tribe. And by association, a lot of human tribes brought all their human females... and not just the ones donated by their tribes to help Felina put on a real Earth-style wedding. Even the Bandicoot delegation showed up with Muroid and five of his “wives” as he had begun calling them.

  Then there was Rex Middlefield, who had now been made “grand chef” to a Pumalar tribe called the Jaguarondi. He had quite extensive duties there; but also had a staff of twenty other male humans who worked directly under his supervision making sumptuous dishes every day for their fellow tribesmen. Made into full members because they were male, these "men" had suffered nothing in the way of secondary social status with the Jaguarondi. In their view serving food and preparing dishes then cleaning up a kitchen afterward was just another valued role within the tribe. And at night, there was plenty of action to enjoy among the big warrior cats after dinner. Rex and his “men” embraced their duties as Servers and Cooks rather… enthusiastically!

  But when it came time for the wedding, well, Rex was readily and graciously donated by the Jaguarondi to serve as the caterer and head chef for the wedding banquet. For days leading up to the ceremony he’d gathered up foods from all over New Australia and devised a multicultural menu that would be acceptable, if not delightful, to absolutely everyone. He also had the Porkos erect partitions to shield the cooking area from view. It was a feverish, hectic morning for Rex the day of the wedding. The type of environment where he excelled, that was for damn sure; but by the time of the ceremony, he was finally able to shoo his staff out of the kitchen area and with a deep sigh he was able to stand outside the partition wall to watch his best friend Felina come up the aisle with her dashing groom Solomon. Wiping his hands with a dish towel, already soaked in sweat from the heat of his kitchen, he mopped his sweaty eyebrows and subtly dabbed tears of proud joy. “My, did Felina look fabulous today,” he thought to himself!

  For his BEST MAN, Solomon had chosen his good friend Kscheeech; and practically no one was surprised at that. To Solomon, this was the least he could do to honor his loyal ship Captain, and for that matter, the creature most responsible for this day's happy occasion. Solomon went further by selecting twenty groomsmen (staff from his command terminal mostly; plus a few trusted warriors from his tribe the Schpleeftkorkii). All of this basically made sense to the audience. Besides, Felina had nearly sixty Maids of Honor! She just couldn’t exclude anyone, she explained. All had helped with the wedding planning; so all should stand with her at the front of the ceremony, she decided.

  However there was one conspicuous absence at the wedding that day: Admiral Snout and his crew from the Anarchy. Now that it had been so long since the disappearance of their hero Snout and his crew members; all Nausties in attendance were pleased to see Solomon's classy gesture of leaving one open spot between his many groomsmen to signify Snout's absence. And a stool was left unoccupied at the front of the audience draped in black ribbons with a crimson Naustie flag folded and placed in the middle. Laid over the top of it was a newly minted Order of Heroic Merit (unanimously voted to be bestowed posthumously on the crew and their Admiral by Tribal Confederation at the last Assembly). If Snout and his crew ever actually DID come back, they’d all receive one, it had been decided.

  And as for Felina she was dressed in her wedding gown and her fur preened up beautifully by her staff. Pumalars of course never took baths, so her attendants merely focused on brushing out her fur thoroughly that morning and curling the ends to make her even more stunning than she already was. Pumalars didn't need makeup either of course, but Felina did agree to have her fangs and teeth brushed by her mostly human staff; just to make her smile dazzling. She coughed and wheezed during the process; but this only made her human female attendants that morning giggle like teenagers. Truth be told, Felina had no bloody idea why they wanted to “clean” her teeth!

  Thus… after all this preparation an
d assigning of talent… after all this hard work and labor of love by hundreds of staff and volunteers… down the aisle they all came. Solomon was seen holding his arm across his chest and Felina was grasping his arm right above the elbow with her big cat paw. Her gown’s long train was carried behind her, and the march up to the dais where Architeuthis stood took several minutes. The audience stood and guffawed with excitement. Some even wept with joy! Everyone smiled and beamed with satisfaction. Music and singing accompanied their slow march (step, step, pause... step, step, pause) until finally they reached the front. Then Architeuthis motioned politely for everyone to be seated. The music also ceased, leaving the massive throng murmuring and whispering quietly as the thousands of guests took their seats to get comfortable.

  "Thank you for coming, one and all," he began in a booming voice which echoed throughout the massive domed facility. Wisely, the seat layout had been set up in a large semi-circle around the dais where the ceremony was to be performed. Only a small section at the end (maybe 10,000 square feet) had been reserved for the banquet area. Architeuthis spoke in his usual deeply resonant and mega-powered voice to this mass of people as though he was addressing not just the dignitaries and nobility of the planet, but indeed the whole planet itself. And he knew all his words would be recorded to be used in ceremonies just like this for years.

  Architeuthis continued, "Great and mighty creatures of New Australia. Honored guests and dignitaries: Welcome and warmest greetings to everyone here today. Nausties, all of us, we are indeed. Great and proud citizens of this great planet we are, one and all. We stand here today as warriors.” He then paused after each title or function to let the crowd react: “We are also farmers... engineers... and miners.” The crowd murmured approval after each recognized role in Naustie society. “We are Porkonjii... Schpleeftii… Zorgolongians… Pumalars… Slartigifijians... and Humans.” After each name of a species, the crowd murmured even louder, and the respective groups once identified all cheered with pride. “We are both male… and FEMALE,” he then added in a steadily rising voice; but when the females were recognized, a vast swirl of excited squeals and screams erupted from the crowd, prompting Archituethis to have to pause for a couple minutes until the cacophony of spirited cheering settled down. It was as if each cheer had to top the previous one; but when the females finally got recognized, a crescendo of excitement exploded throughout the cavernous arena.