Key To His Heart (Gay Romance)

by Trina Solet

  "Hmm." Bernie gave him a knowing, squinty-eyed look. "Someone is talking about himself now."

  "Oh, was I? Sorry. I do that sometimes, or a lot. I didn't have it so good," Leon admitted.

  "You got a hard luck story?"

  "Not one I want to share, but it does make me appreciate Phillip." Leon hoped he didn't sound rude, but he only had the urge to spill everything and lay himself bare when he was with Phillip.

  "Ant seems fond of you."

  "And I'm very fond of him."

  Bernie narrowed her eyes at him.

  "What are you worried about?" Leon asked her. "That I might come between Phillip and Ant?"

  Bernie gave a small shrug. "You might be the kind that makes nice with the child to get in good with the rich daddy."

  "Do you think I am?"

  "Not so as I can tell," she said noncommittally.

  "Don't know if my word means anything, but I'll tell you anyway. I would never do anything to hurt Ant or Phillip or anyone they care about."

  "You could also tell me to butt out. I'm not even family," Bernie pointed out.

  Leon smiled and shook his head. Telling off Bernie – sure, that would go well. "You're butting in because you care, and I know what that's worth," Leon said and his smile turned sad. If only someone had taken an interest in the men that went in and out of his mother's life when he was a kid. "That's why I want Ant to have everything I never had. And that's what Phillip brings to his life."

  "And yours too," Bernie added.

  "Stop being right about everything, Bernie," Leon said with a grin.

  "I got all this hard earned wisdom. What else am I gonna do with it?"

  "Is she bragging on herself again?" Lilly asked, overhearing what her friend said as she and Phillip brought Ant over to them.

  "She's always sneaking up on me on my bad side," Bernie complained, twisting around awkwardly to look up at her friend.

  "You don't have a bad side," Phillip told her gallantly. "You're looking better all the time."

  "It's no wonder, the way they work me over in this place," Bernie said then pointed at Lilly accusingly. "And this one won't leave me be until I've done my exercises."

  Listening to their bickering, Leon smiled then he noticed Phillip doing the same thing. It was good to see that even so late in life their friendship was going strong, and Phillip must have felt that way too. Of course now he and Phillip were just staring at each other and grinning and it was just a matter of time before Bernie started in on them.

  "That was a good time. Thanks for inviting me," Leon said to Phillip as the two of them walked to his car and Ant ran ahead of them.

  Phillip didn't take him at his word though. "I'm sure the visit to a nursing home is the highlight of your day."

  "Sure it is. Why not?"

  "Really?" Phillip turned to him with a skeptical look as they neared his car.

  When they stopped where the grassy area turned into a parking lot, Leon explained himself. "It was nice to see that, the way everybody loves each other, everybody cares."

  "That is nice," Phillip said and he didn't take his eyes off Leon.

  Lost in his gaze, Leon forgot where they were. The air shimmered with the golds of the setting sun and the cicadas sang in the grass. Ant was looking at different license plates, trying to decipher them. "I know you," he would say when he saw a letter or a number he recognized.

  "I know you," Leon repeated the words to himself. But he actually wanted to say them to Phillip. "You're the one I've been waiting for."

  Phillip was a promise being fulfilled, a promise from long ago that a voice whispered just loud enough for his heart to hear and stay strong.

  Chapter 31

  Every morning, no matter how early it was, Phillip knew where he would find Ant – in front of the aquarium saying good morning to Bee and Ruby. He even tried to use them as an excuse not to brush his teeth.

  "Bee and Ruby don't have to."

  Phillip didn't have an argument for that, other than the obvious – "They're fish."

  This morning, something caught his eye as he passed the fish tank on his way to get his coffee. He went closer to see what was floating there.

  Going into the kitchen where Ant was eating cereal, Phillip asked him, "Ant, did you put anything strange in the fish tank?"

  Ant denied it with a simple "No."

  Phillip got more specific. "Did you drop some playing cards in the fish tank?"

  "Yes," Ant admitted cheerfully. "I was teaching them."

  "Aha," Phillip said as he rolled up his shirtsleeve and got ready to go fishing. Right after that Ant was getting a lecture about dropping foreign objects in the aquarium.

  As he was getting Ant ready for preschool, or trying to, Phillip wondered about something that happened at the nursing home. He was helping Ant get into his clothes and he asked him about it. "When your Gran-gran covered your ears, why did you ask if there was fighting?"

  "Gran-gran told me to plug my ears when her and my mommy fighted. Gran-gran didn't want my mommy to go away so much, but she did," Ant said and he looked down at the floor sadly.

  "I see. Sometimes even when people love each other they fight," Phillip told him.

  Ant didn't look too sure about that.

  Phillip tried again. "The two of us fight when it's time for you to brush your teeth, eat your veggies, and when you have to go to bed."

  "Noo," Ant said as he stuck his legs into a tiny pair of jeans.

  "We only fight a little, but you're still my little Ant-man. My superhero."

  "Ant-man!" Ant said and raised his arms in the air. Phillip took the opportunity to pull a t-shirt over his head.

  "Yes. You saved me from being lonely and you made Leon like me," Phillip said once Ant's curly head emerged from inside the t-shirt.

  "I love Leon," Ant said while showing no interest in putting on his socks and shoes.

  "Me too," Phillip admitted. Maybe some time soon, he might let Leon know as well. "Do you know who else I love?"

  Ant gave a small shrug and looked shy.

  "You." Phillip told him and gave him a hug. "I love you."

  "I love you too, Uncle Phillip," Ant said and wrapped his arms around his neck tightly.

  That afternoon after he dropped off Ant at daycare, Phillip was having a late lunch with Ken so they could catch up. Ken had threatened to bring him lunch at the office, but Phillip didn't want that. He was planning to talk to him about Leon, and he wasn't sure how his best friend would react to the news. Since things with Leon had already progressed so far that the word love kept coming into his head whenever Phillip thought of him, it was past time to come clean with Ken.

  They were meeting at Trevor's, which was close to the office, had quick service and fried ravioli that Ken couldn't resist. The place was full of people on their lunch break. Talk of business drifted to Phillip as he grabbed a table and waited. Ken joined him a few minutes later.

  "A guy was clogging up the sidewalk, walking three dogs with his shirt off. It wasn't a pretty sight. The guy, I mean. The dogs were fine," Ken said as he sat down with a loud huff.

  Not wanting to drag things out, Phillip told him about Leon while they waited for their food to arrive.

  "Your assistant, really, Phillip?" Ken stopped just short of rolling his eyes.

  "Yes, really," Phillip told him gruffly to let him know where he stood on Ken's negative attitude on this particular subject.

  That didn't keep Ken from being Ken. "What has happened to you? Your goal has always been to date guys just as established and boring as you, except for me of course."

  "I thought you were worried that my love life was going extinct," Phillip reminded him.

  "This is worse," Ken said harshly while leaning across the table. "You're still grieving. You are a sitting duck. You're in no shape to get mixed up with this guy and get your heart broken. I can't even believe you would risk it. He's pretty, but he's not that pretty."

  "Yes, he
is, and he's a lot more than that. Leon is everything I want. I just hope he doesn't get sick of me and leave like all the others, including you," Phillip told him, not that anything he said made a dent in Ken's disapproval.

  "You take everything too seriously, but don't kid yourself. It's a fling."

  Even if Ken didn't take his relationship with Leon seriously, Phillip did. "I am sure of Leon and how I feel about him."

  Ken opened his mouth just in time to start stuffing it with food. The waitress had set their order in front of them, and for a few seconds Ken was busy chewing. Then he was back at it. "You already complicated your life with a kid. Is this really the time to get in deep with this guy and fuck up your work situation on top of it? You're courting a lawsuit. I never pictured you as the kind to chase his secretary around the desk."

  "You can stop picturing that right now," Phillip ordered him.

  Ken only smirked meanly. "Not very dignified, is it? Not very you. I blame Ant for this."

  Phillip wasn't sure he heard him right. "Ant?"

  Ken only nodded, busy with his next bite. Then he explained. "It's a well known fact that spending too much time with kids rots your brain. After Nancy had the twins, she reverted to pure baby talk. It was all poop and spit up. Her IQ dropped into the double digits. I don't think it will ever recover."

  "That's nice. Now that you've insulted me, Leon and your sister, is there anyone else you would like to take a shot at?"

  "You think I'm done with you?" Ken asked and threatened him with a ravioli on a fork. "You are trying to recreate the family you lost, and that's just going to make you blind to who this guy is."

  "I think what I have with Ant and Leon is worth it," Phillip stated simply. Even if Ken couldn't see it, Phillip knew they were at the start of something amazing.

  "What do you think you have? You've had guys in your bed, but have you ever really been with anyone? Certainly not with me. You were never there. You were always looking off somewhere far away, searching for what you lost."

  Phillip didn't argue with him about that. "Sorry."

  Ken grimaced at him. "Ugh. Don't be nice about it. I still need to hate you a little. I felt like I barely existed, reduced to throwing temper tantrums to get your attention."

  "Should I say sorry again?" Phillip offered.

  "No. But what will happen when your assistant has had enough of it and wants to get back at you?" Ken looked at him sharply.

  "Leon?" Phillip couldn't imagine Leon turning vindictive. "I'll just have to make sure I do right by him."

  "So for him, you'll be a new man?" Ken's disbelief was obvious.

  "Yes."

  "You piss me off so much. I can't believe I have to work this hard to protect you from yourself."

  "I thought you were protecting me from Leon."

  "It's the same thing."

  "Thank you for trying. I know good friends aren't the people who tell you only what you want to hear," Phillip said in a conciliatory tone, but Ken wasn't having any of it.

  "Yes, good friends love to waste their breath on incurable romantics."

  Phillip was surprised to be called that. "If anything, I thought I was overly rational."

  "Your heart is too soft even in business. Do you know what kind of money you would be raking in if it wasn't for your dumb ethics?"

  "I make plenty."

  Ken looked appalled at his words. "No true businessman would ever say that."

  "I'm not sure if you think too much of me or too little."

  "Me either," Ken said and sighed.

  Phillip eyed him. "Give me a rough estimate. How much of this is pure jealousy?"

  Ken was ready with the numbers. "Thirty percent jealousy, sixty percent real concern and ten percent just letting my inner bitch off the leash for a little exercise."

  "Ten percent seems a bit low for that last one," Phillip said with a smile. "And just so you know, two old ladies gave their approval."

  "Are you telling me I'm a bigger stick in the mud than two old ladies and – God help me – you?" Ken asked, horrified mostly by that last comparison.

  "Yes."

  "I worry about you," Ken said with a sincere, if somewhat hopeless, look of concern. "You're all alone in the world. Someone has to take the place of your hectoring mother."

  Phillip didn't see it. "You? You don't sound anything like my mother. She was a very positive person and our biggest cheerleader."

  "That's why you never got to sharpen your fangs and claws. That's what mothers are for, to build up your defenses, make you strong through nagging and suffering."

  "If you say so," Phillip said as he paid the check.

  Once he and Ken parted ways, Phillip walked to his office. He felt as if he was playing catch-up with his own emotions while they ran ahead of him. When talking to Ken, he had sounded so sure of Leon. Of course he loved Leon and he never had a moment of mistrust toward him. Why else would he risk letting him into his life with Ant? He just didn't know how to deal with what he felt or how to tell him. And Ant said it so easily. "I love Leon."

  Even without previous experience saying the words, Phillip was pretty sure he shouldn't just blurt it out like that. Plus there was a painful knot of fear inside him that he couldn't deny. The talk with Ken had put it there and sobered him a little. Not that he doubted Leon even for a minute, but what if he didn't feel the same way or if Phillip was rushing and pressuring him – exactly what he promised himself he wouldn't do.

  No matter how powerful his yearnings had grown, he needed to be sensible about this. Usually being sensible was second nature to him, but not with Leon. Everything about him went straight to Phillip's heart.

  Chapter 32

  After the ordeal of defending his relationship with Leon against Ken and wrestling with his own feelings, Phillip was exhausted. By the time he got to the office and saw Leon, he was ready to make plans for tonight. For some reason, Phillip felt up for that. Maybe it was being greeted by Leon's smiling face. He just wanted to keep looking at him and listening to his deep, soft voice even if all he was telling him was that he had racked up more appointments for tomorrow.

  "Let's do something tonight," Phillip told him.

  Leon gave him a happy grin. "OK, but it's about time I played host. Want to see my tiny, cramped, crappy apartment?"

  "More than anything."

  When he went to get Ant and brought him to the office, Leon told him about their plans.

  "You and your uncle are coming over to my place. You're going to be my guests for a change."

  "Is it gonna be a party?" Ant asked eagerly.

  "Sure. But just the three of us and some chocolate covered potato chips and chocolate covered pretzels. How does that sound?" Leon said. The big smile on Ant's face told them that he couldn't wait.

  Once they left work, Leon was going shopping and Phillip and Ant were meeting him at his place. That gave Phillip a chance to grab a nice bottle of wine so they wouldn't show up empty handed. He refused to acknowledge the fact that Leon couldn't legally drink it. He couldn't possibly be dating someone who wasn't old enough to drink, not to mention trusting his future, his heart, and his and Ant's happiness to him. The main thing was not to let Ken know how old Leon was. He would never hear the end of it.

  Leon's apartment building had a brown brick facade and very little parking. Ant got excited when he spotted Leon's red car parked against the curb in front, but they had to circle the block a few times before they could find a parking spot.

  After a spot opened up, they went up the block, into a dimly lit lobby and then up to the sixth floor. The elevator lurched a bit too much for Phillip's liking, but Ant enjoyed the ride. In front of Leon's door, he asked to hold the wine bottle.

  "We'll hold it together," Phillip said to prevent a disaster on Leon's doorstep.

  Opening the door wide, Leon welcomed them and the bottle of wine. Behind him, Phillip spotted other guests. He looked at Leon questioningly.

  "They stopped by
, heard me say the word party, and I couldn't get rid of them," he announced loudly while his friends protested weakly.

  They appeared to be a couple based on the way they were standing close together. Or more than that, Phillip realized when he spotted their wedding rings. As he led the way, Leon gave Phillip a look to make sure that the extra guests were OK with him. Phillip smiled to reassure him that it was.

  He was curious about Leon's friends. This was a welcome opportunity to get to know them. He didn't expect them to be older than both him and Leon though. The two men were in their forties and one was slightly balding. That was Lenny, a lanky guy with a big smile. Mike was stocky, dark and wore glasses.

  "We finally get to meet the famous Ant and Leon's handsome boss," Lenny said as Leon made introductions.

  Leon stepped in as soon as he heard him. "For the record, I never called you that," he said to Phillip. "I said gorgeous."

  "I'm a CPA and Lenny runs a little craft store," Mike said and shook his hand.

  "Yes, the little shop of horrors," Lenny called it.

  "Ant would like it," Leon said.

  "Then maybe we can go and visit," Phillip suggested.

  Lenny whipped out a business card and handed it to Ant. Without being able to read one word, Ant looked at it with wonder and asked if he could keep it.

  "That's what they're for."

  "Lenny and Mike like parties too," Leon said to Ant.

  "Let's party!" Mike agreed and raised a glass of something on ice.

  "We have five! We have five for the party," Ant said having finished a painstaking head count.

  "A good number, huh?" Leon said as Lenny gazed at Ant with adoration.

  "A born accountant," Mike praised him.

  Lenny agreed. "He's hired. Sorry, honey," he said to his husband, who must have been his actual accountant.

  While Ant was the center of attention, Phillip looked around the apartment. There was an open door that showed a narrow bed in a very small room. Phillip averted his eyes from it before his imagination took over.