Under The Rug

by Lina Langley

  “It’s fine, Dad, Max doesn’t mind,” John said, looking to me to confirm but all I could do was stare.

  Did he just call Mr. Harriman ‘Dad’?

  I must have misheard him because there was no way I was fucking my boss’s kid.

  I refused to believe my life could be that fucked.

  “I…uh…I…”

  Oh, I know, I wasn’t at my most articulate at that moment and both men in my office stared back at me with identical frowns that confirmed my hearing was just fine.

  Turning to his son–oh my fucking God, his fucking son, I was fucking his fucking son–Mr. Harriman cleared his throat, which I knew meant a lecture was forthcoming. “

  Well, I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to be interrupting someone’s work so that you can get yours done quicker. I’m sure Mr. Honeywell was just being nice, but I know he’d appreciate it if you’d work around his schedule from here on out.”

  “Ed used to clean offices when people were in them all the time. He told me the ones who didn’t care and Max was one he said—”

  “Stop right there, young man,” Mr. Harriman said, holding up his hand to shut John up. “Ed was a long-time employee who was granted special treatment because people liked him. You have not built up the rapport on your own and riding someone else’s coattails to benefit yourself is not how I raised you.”

  “Oh, like you even did anything to help raise me. You weren’t even there!” John raised his voice as he jabbed a finger toward his now visibly angry father.

  I wanted to jump in and put a stop to their argument, but Mr. Harriman was my boss and it seemed like this was a family matter, which made it his personal business. And none of my fucking business.

  There was no way I was going to interfere in his personal matters, even if it hurt to watch John revert to a child as he pleaded his case while throwing me pleading looks.

  When things turned a little ugly, I slipped my headphones in and started typing. I tried to forget everything as I finished up the quarterly report, because if I kept thinking about what John being my boss’s son meant, it made my chest hurt.

  I wished they’d take their squabble elsewhere. It seemed to drag on longer than I expected it to, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen, so I continued ignoring it the best I could until the door slammed some minutes later.

  I was afraid to look up to see which one of them was still there, but then a hand plucked one of the earbuds out of my ear and I knew it was John. I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than having to face down Mr. Harriman after witnessing the family drama that had played out in my office.

  Upon seeing John’s face, I knew it was definitely worse, because I knew what I needed to do even though I dreaded it.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that,” I pointed at the door Mr. Harriman had just slammed shut. “That is your father?”

  John went from looking apologetic to angry in the space of two seconds. “And just what would you have said if I told you, hey, your boss is my dad?”

  “I would have told you to clean my office and get the fuck out,” I snarled when I realized he’d intentionally withheld the information from me. Of course he had.

  John wasn’t stupid by any means, and he had to know that me fucking around with him would have been a no go if I knew who his dad was.

  “Exactly, which is why I didn’t tell you.” That cocky, smug expression that I’d once thought looked good on him just made me want to punch him now.

  John jumped back when I slammed my fist down on my desk. “I had a right to know something like this.”

  “I don’t see why. It has no impact on anything at all.”

  Okay, now I was pissed, and he was just being obtuse. I surged out of the chair and backed him into the wall. He stared up at me and the first hint of fear flashed in his eyes as I pinned him in with my arms.

  “You don’t see how this could have any impact on anything at all, huh? Like me fucking my fucking boss’s teenage son in my office couldn’t possibly have any repercussions on my career, right? I know you’re not a fucking idiot, John, you know damn well what’s going to happen if your fucking dad finds out what’s going on between the two of us, which is why it ends now.”

  Growling, I pushed away from him before turning away. “Get the fuck out and from now on, you do your cleaning after I leave.”

  I could hear his heavy breathing behind me but no movement accompanied it to indicate that he was leaving. I resisted turning around to face him again, because if I saw even a hint of remorse for his lying to me, I’d break down and do something stupid.

  If I allowed this affair to continue now that I knew he was Harriman’s kid, then the blame for my eventual downfall would land squarely on my shoulders alone. I liked to think that I had the ability spread the blame if that came to be, thank you very much.

  “I knew you’d let him ruin this,” John said softly before his footsteps told me he was finally moving toward his cart. “He ruins everything, which is why I didn’t tell you about him.”

  The squeaky wheel on the cart gave its plaintive cry as John pushed it through the door but then it stopped.

  “I really thought we had something special, but I guess my father is right about one thing–no one’s ever going to love me enough to give something up for me. I was stupid to think you might prove him wrong.”

  With those words, John walked out of my life.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The sun was blindingly bright as I got out of my Uber at the entrance to the park the next afternoon.

  I really wasn’t in the mood for a party after the night I’d had, tossing and turning while I imagined the shit I’d be in if Mr. Harriman found out about me and John. And then more turning and tossing when I thought about what losing John meant.

  Although I wasn’t looking forward to the company picnic, I had to at least put in an appearance.

  It wasn’t hard to spot our group with the huge banner bearing the company’s logo hanging on a large pole tent which covered a buffet and a bunch of tables.

  People were already sitting there with plates and drinks. I scanned the crowd, looking for the familiar faces of those who worked on my floor because, truth be told, I didn’t really know many people other than the handful I saw every day in the halls.

  I spotted Mr. Harriman. Unfortunately, he was standing with our team, making it hard for me to avoid him.

  The only good thing was that there was no sign of John, even though Mr. Harriman’s wife was at his side.

  I paused a moment to think on that, and it dawned on me that I’d never met any of Mr. Harriman’s kids at the various company sponsored events, even though I knew he had three of them.

  Sighing in relief, I made my way through the crowd and joined my group.

  I wasn’t a big drinker. I took it slow, turning down refills or another bottle of whatever it was that one of my coworkers was offering.

  After eating a plateful of food and strategically avoiding being alone with Mr. Harriman, I started to make my excuses to leave before the big fireworks show began.

  My coworkers tried to talk me into staying, but I begged off, saying I was getting a headache.

  I thought I’d made a clean getaway, but just as I stepped out from beneath the shade of the tent, someone grabbed my arm.

  “Can I have a word with you, Max?” Mr. Harriman asked as I turned to see who’d stopped me.

  “Uh, yes, sure,” I replied. He knew I was just leaving, but I didn’t want to say that. He was my boss, after all.

  “I promise not to keep you long.” Mr. Harriman started walking away from the tent and I followed.

  I had a pretty good idea of what he wanted to discuss, but I was keeping my fingers crossed that John hadn’t ratted on me out of spite.

  He stopped and took a sip of the beer he held in his hand while his eyes bounced around. I could tell he was making sure we were alone but trying not to look like he was doing just that
.

  “Is there something wrong?” I asked.

  I was fucking all nerves after watching him, and I was sure he knew about me fucking his son.

  The urge to run off and leave him wondering if I had gone insane was strong, but the need to keep my job was just a bit stronger, so I stood there waiting as the uneasy silence stretched on. I was about to prod him again when he barked out a short, sharp laugh.

  “You know, John was always a difficult child,” he said in a way that made it sound like he was saying it to himself instead of me. “He was a holy terror as a toddler, a rambunctious preschooler, a lively grade schooler, and a moody middle schooler. These are all things his mother told me would pass as he aged, and we just needed to give him space and let him grow. Well by the time he hit high school, I was ready to call it quits, but then in his sophomore year, he went completely silent and I barely saw him out of his room. I was overjoyed by the turn around I saw in him.” Mr. Harriman snorted and shook his head. “I didn’t realize I’d lost my little boy at the time, but looking back, that’s when it happened.”

  I hadn’t realized Mr. Harriman was drunk when we’d walked away from the tent, but now I was sure he was probably too inebriated to be having this sort of discussion with one of his underlings.

  I had no idea how to put an end to it or what he was getting at, so I stood there and waited to see if he had a point, or if he’d just needed to ramble for a bit. I hoped it was the latter, and maybe that he’d forget the conversation happened at all after he slept it off.

  Mr. Harriman stared off into space for a moment, getting my hopes up that he’d lost track of his thoughts and I would be free to go, but then he turned his red rimmed eyes to me.

  “In the last month, my boy has returned. I don’t know if it’s the job or something else, but I like this John, and I’d hate to lose him again. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Max?”

  Shaking my head, I stood there completely flabbergasted.

  I couldn’t believe that Mr. Harriman was telling me he was okay with me having a relationship with his teenage son… because that was what he was saying, right?

  I needed to clarify that it was indeed his intention to give me his blessing–that sounds weird but it’s the way I thought it in my head–to proceed with John.

  “Does this mean what I think it does?” My voice cracked which made him smile.

  “If you think it means that I think you should go to the office and find John to tell him you won’t get fired because you’re in love with him, then yes it does. I mean, if that’s what you think that I think you think I think.”

  He scratched his head as if he had confused himself, which would make two of us.

  “Why’s he at the office?”

  It was a dumb question but an easier one to ask than any of the others running around my brain.

  Mr. Harriman frowned like he thought it was a stupid one too. “The janitorial staff voted to work this holiday so they could do the carpet cleaning when they had a long weekend for it.”

  He chugged what was left of his beer and then narrowed his gaze at me when I just stood there staring at him.

  “Well, are you going or not?” His words were louder than necessary but they did the trick and snapped me back to attention.

  “Yes, I’m going, jeez. Give a guy a minute to process.”

  He grinned and slapped me on the back. “Take your time. I have a feeling John’s not going anywhere,” he looked at his watch. “Well, at least not for another hour.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I walked down the street from the train station to the office building. The lack of people rushing by was weird, lending a surreal quality to my journey which seemed sort of fitting, considering why I was there and all.

  I’d spent the entire train ride from the park to the downtown station wondering if I was really going to go tell John how I felt about him.

  What if I was just a summer fling for a lost teenager who was looking for a way to pass the time?

  Yeah, he’d sort of insinuated that he had feelings for me the night before, but what if I was reading more into it than there was?

  I didn’t want to look like a complete tool, even if it was only in front of John.

  As I ran my key card through the reader by the door, I decided it was better to know than not.

  If John shot down my proposal that we start dating for real, well, then I guess it wasn’t meant to be in the first place, but if I didn’t ask and missed out on the chance, I’d be kicking myself for a long time.

  My future self didn’t like that idea, so my present self was stepping up and doing us both a favor.

  The elevator to the fifteenth floor seemed to take forever to ascend.

  When the door finally opened, I rushed out and then realized that if the janitorial staff was doing carpets, that meant John could be on any of the five floors our offices occupied. I slowed my steps and listened to see if there was any activity.

  There was nothing at first, but then I heard it. The soft squeak of John’s cart was coming from somewhere down the hall and to the right.

  I took off at a jog, and when I rounded the corner, I saw him.

  “John!” I called out his name, even though he’d already turned around to look at me.

  When I reached him, I stopped and it was as if time stood still for a second or two as our eyes met but then he broke the spell.

  “What do you want?” he asked before turning back to his cart to resume pushing it down the hall toward his closet.

  “I need to talk to you,” I said, reaching out and grabbing his arm.

  “I don’t think I want to hear anything you have to say right now.”

  He jerked his arm out of my grasp and pushed the door open so he could put his cart away.

  “I know you’re mad at me but please, hear me out. Then if you still want me to leave you alone, I will.”

  I waited while he put his stuff away and then started to peel off his uniform.

  The sight of his almost naked body sent shockwaves of desire through me, but I bottled it up because we needed to talk, and then if John agreed, I wanted to take him back to my place and finally get him in a proper bed.

  “Okay, what do you want?” he finally asked as he pulled his tee shirt over his head.

  “Can we maybe go somewhere?”

  He shook his head.

  “No. I’d rather do this here. It’s kinda fitting, don’t you think? Ending it for good where it all began?”

  “What makes you think that I’d come all this way to tell you something you already thought you knew?”

  I asked. He shrugged and then dropped his eyes to his feet. I knew then that though he was putting on a brave face, he was just as nervous as I was.

  “John, look at me.” I waited for him to do as I asked and eventually he did. “I came here to tell you that I think I love you.”

  John watched me, blinking once, saying nothing.

  “No, I don’t, I don’t think I love you. I know I love you.”

  He still didn’t say anything, but that was okay. I didn’t need him to. Not yet.

  “I know you’re young and that might sound scary, but I thought you had the right to know.”

  Okay, now I needed to him say something. I studied his face as he processed my words, but I wasn’t overly encouraged by the look he gave me.

  “So, you came here to tell me you love me, but that we can’t be together because of your career. That’s just great, thanks for making this so much easier for me.”

  John pushed past me and started running down the hall.

  I gave chase. Since the elevator wasn’t there waiting for him, I caught him–actually, I ran into him and we toppled to the floor.

  John struggled to get out from underneath me, but I was bigger than him and easily restrained him long enough to say what I’d come to say.

  “I wanted to ask you out on a date,” I growled as I pinned him down.

&nbs
p; Upon hearing the words, John stilled.

  “I decided that I wanted to give us a chance, and I’m pretty sure your dad is fine with it.”

  I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that it was the wrong thing to say at that moment.

  “My dad is okay with it?” His eyes narrowed and his lips turned down into a frown.

  I nodded. “So, if my dad hadn’t been okay with it, then you’d have just let me walk out of your life?” he asked.

  I’m not proud of it but I had to think it over for a moment. I closed my eyes and weighed my options, thinking of what my future might look like with or without John in it.

  In the end, I didn’t think I could have let John just walk out of my life.

  It might have taken me a few days to realize it, but I think I would have come to my senses eventually.

  “No, I wouldn’t have just let you walk away. I’m just an idiot and sometimes it takes a while for shit to register in my brain unless it’s numbers,” I said.

  It was mostly true.

  John craned his neck so that he could look at me. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah.” I got off him and extended a hand which he grabbed and let me pull him up off the floor. “Now, do you want to come back to my place with me or not?”

  “Not,” John answered but that smile I’d grown to love played around the corners of his mouth. “I have a better idea.”

  He used the hand he still gripped in his to pull me down the hallway to my office door where he produced his master key and let us in.

  “I have an idea, and I think it’s something you’ll like.”

  He relocked the door once we were inside and went to my desk to open the bottom drawer and produced a bottle of lube and three condoms.

  “How did that get there?” I asked.

  I raise an eyebrow at him but I wasn’t able to keep the smirk from my lips. I never used that drawer on my desk, and John must have noticed and taken the chance to stash some supplies in there at some point. We’d never done more than give each other quick blowjobs, hand jobs, or sometimes we just simply resorted to rubbing off against each other, but it looked like John had other ideas.