Cruising Love

by Lexy Timms

  “I’m just—”

  Groaning, I ran my hand through my hair as I stood at the window of my office.

  “Are you having second thoughts?” I asked.

  “I am,” she said.

  I felt my heart shatter and fall into pieces on the floor in front of me.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Colin, we don’t know each other.”

  “Then we take the time to get to know each other,” I said.

  “That’s not the point.”

  “What is the point?” I asked.

  “The point is you won’t shut up and listen so I can get it out.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, sighing.

  “It’s not that we don’t know each other, it’s that we were seeing each other in our spare time. On our off time. You don’t seem to hear me sometimes. Like when I tell you I don’t need your money.”

  “I just want to spoil you. What’s wrong with that?” I asked.

  “Nothing, if you’d ask me how I wanted to be spoiled. But you don’t. You send me flowers that eventually crumble, then they’re just a hassle to clean up. You buy me an SUV, then you send a car to take me to work because you’re afraid something will happen to me. I haven’t even experienced this new city I’m supposed to call home because you’ve got me trapped in all these ivory towers.”

  “But you know why I do all that, right? It’s because of encounters like the one you had with Derek,” I said. “It’s to keep you safe.”

  “And all these cameras, Colin. There’s so many of them. All the time. We can’t go anywhere. I can’t do anything—”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say about the cameras. I can’t pay them off, too.”

  I cursed myself the moment it flew from my lips.

  “Are you serious?” she asked, breathlessly.

  “Abby, I didn’t mean that how it came out.”

  “Then how did you mean it?” she asked.

  “I just meant that there are some inherent hazards that come with me. Just like there are hazards that come with you.”

  “And what hazards do I come with?” she asked.

  “Does Derek count?”

  “You’re fucking unbelievable, you know that?”

  “No, he’s an example. Hear me out. Derek was a hazard. A hazard that came after you. And instead of running or backtracking, I tackled it head on with the one weapon I have at my disposal. Did I go about it the wrong way? Yes. That’s pretty obvious now. But at least I didn’t take a few days off and run.”

  “I’m done with this conversation,” she said.

  “Abby, would you just listen to me.”

  “That’s the problem, Colin. Now that you’ve got me chained to this ring, you think you can just bring down the ban-hammer and I’ll listen to you like the obedient little girl I am. But you don’t get to absorb my life just because we’re engaged. You don’t get to control my life just because I work for you. Your rigidity is coming out again and it is stifling me in the process. I will leave you before I let that happen.”

  The mere mention of her leaving shot panic straight down to my gut.

  “Whatever you need, Abby. I’ll do it. Just tell me what I can do to make this situation better.”

  “I need you to leave me alone for a few days so I can clear my head. One thing you can learn about me now is that I’m wonderful at articulating everyone else’s existence. But not my own.”

  “Then take all the time you need,” I said. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

  She hung up the phone and I threw it across the room. I was no longer in control of this situation. Derek was free with fifty grand in his pocket, Abby was somewhere within a twenty four hour vicinity of Los Angeles with nothing but her clothes and some money. And I was here. Up high in a tower with no control over what happened to her, where she went, or whether she was even safe.

  At least when we went on our road trips, she let me drive.

  I needed to get out and clear my head. I needed to get a drink. I slipped by Ted’s office and knocked on his door, seeing if he was free for the evening.

  “I’m always free for a drink. Abby joining us? I’ll ask Maggie to come with us if she is.”

  “Nope. Just us,” I said.

  It was my tone of voice that must’ve tipped him off, because his face fell immediately.

  “Come on. I know a place with a strong drink and stone-cold silent bartenders,” Ted said.

  I followed Ted to the bar and we sat down in a corner booth. He grabbed a beer and I ordered a whisky neat. My mind was at a standstill as I stared out the window. I could feel Ted’s eyes studying me before he took a sip of his beer.

  “Where’s Abby?” he asked.

  “Gone for a few days,” I said.

  “Does this have anything to do with the news story Hadley had to combat this morning?”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “What happened? Who the hell was that on the sidewalk?”

  “Her ex,” I said.

  “Good thing we’ve got Hadley on that story. She’ll squash it by the morning,” he said. “What was her ex doing cornering her like that?”

  “Probably showing her the money I gave him to skip down.”

  Ted choked on his beer as I picked my drink up to my lips.

  “You what?” he asked.

  “Let me just preface this by saying I know where I fucked up.”

  “Oh, this’ll be good,” he said.

  “I hired the company’s P.I. to look into Abby’s past.”

  “So fucking glad you prefaced this conversation,” he said.

  “I wanted to make sure there was nothing the media could dig up and spin. If there was, I wanted to be prepared. One of her main concerns was how the media portrayed her at the conference, but an engagement speech like that only works once. I wanted to craft spins on stories to stay ahead of the game.”

  “Your head was in the right place, but that was a shitty move.”

  “I got that, Ted. Anyway, the P.I. found the lawsuit and I squashed it before he could serve Abby any papers. Paid him fifty grand in return for signed papers saying he had to get the fuck out of town.”

  “But not before he cornered Abby and told her the whole story,” he said.

  “Yep. And she was irate.”

  “And rightfully so. You went poking around in her past and then tried to buy her.”

  “I didn’t buy her, Ted.”

  “Not how she’s gonna see it,” he said.

  “I know. We’ve talked.”

  “How did that go?”

  “Not very well, but she hasn’t left me yet so that’s a thing,” I said.

  “A thing. Okay. What did she say to you on the phone?”

  “Among other things, that she’s having second thoughts.”

  “Well, of course. Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “Wait, what?” I asked.

  “Colin, seriously? You’re acting as if this is some sort of fairy tale. You’ve proposed to a woman you’ve known for all of four months, and in that whole timeframe you’ve seen each other for how long? Two or three weekends?”

  I sat back and ran the numbers as my face slowly began to fall.

  “And she’s a small town girl, right? Minnesota? You’ve ripped her from her home and dropped her into L.A.”

  “She lived in San Diego for a spell. Worked for Popular Faces magazine,” I said.

  “Los Angeles. It’s a whole different ballgame here. And she’s having to relearn it. Except you’re piling her into cars and shipping her to work. I’m surprised it took her this long before she could admit she was having second thoughts.”

  “Do you think I’m going to lose her, Ted?”

  “She’s freaked out. She’s scared. And if I know you well enough, you’re still pushing. Trying to get her to pick up the phone. To tell you where she is. Probably trying to convince her to come back. The best thing you can do right now is give her space.” />
  “That’s what she told me on the phone,” I said.

  “Then why the fuck are we sitting here shooting the shit trying to figure it out if she’s already told you this?” he asked.

  “Because I don’t know how to stop being so controlling!”

  I threw back the rest of my drink and the waitress promptly sat another one in front of me. Ted traded his empty beer bottle for a full one, much to my relief. I didn’t want to go home and lay in my bed. I didn’t want to go home and sit in front of the fire. My penthouse apartment was laden with memories of her, and it would just make me want to call her even more.

  “I just wanted her to have the car until she became familiar with the city. This place is prosperous, but it’s dangerous, Ted. You and I know that. How many times have we had to visit our employees in this building because something happened to them on the streets?” I asked.

  “More than we care to admit. But you’re engaged to a woman who’s independent. Who doesn’t need or want your money or your protection. There’s a good chance Abby’s the type of woman that carries mace or a Taser around. Did it ever occur to you that she could protect herself?”

  “No, it didn’t.”

  “That’s why she’s scared. Because you don’t really know her. You have an image of her that you’re trying to get her to fit, but you’re not taking the time to know her. Is she complaining about the money you’re spending on her?”

  “How did you know that?” I asked.

  “Maggie has a big mouth. Okay, she’s not actually complaining about the money. She’s complaining about what you’re spending it on.”

  “She said something about that on the phone call.”

  “What did she say?” he asked.

  “That I don’t listen. I send her flowers, but then they die and it just makes a mess.”

  “Okay, it’s a good thing you pulled me away for the night. I’m practically the woman whisperer.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” I asked.

  “It means Maggie’s been a blessing in so many ways. She’s not a flowers kind of girl, so stop sending them. Why you’re doing it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t like the mess they create once they die. What does she like?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you serious? What the hell does Abby like? What are her hobbies? Does she collect anything? Does she read?”

  I racked my brain for answers to any of the questions he’d thrown my way. But I was coming up with nothing. Was Abby really this foreign of a concept to me? Did I really know so very little about the woman I’d proposed to a couple of weeks ago?

  “Colin, a word of advice?” Ted asked.

  “Yes?”

  “You don’t fucking know her, and that’s why she’s having second thoughts.”

  “Then what do I do?” I asked.

  “What any two people at this stage would do,” he said. “You take the time to get to know each other. Not intimately. Not sexually. But just on a base level. Trust me, asking someone about their favorite movie seems boring, until they tell you the story of why it’s their favorite. That’s where the meat of all this shit is. That’s where the good stuff lies.”

  I turned his words around in my head as I finished my second drink.

  “I’d say I agree with you,” I said.

  “Huh?”

  “Maggie is good for you,” I said, grinning.

  “Don’t go getting that look in your eyes. Not all of us fuck our employees.”

  “Talk like that about Abby again, and I’ll have your job,” I said.

  “Spoken like a true protector. Only Abby doesn’t need protecting.”

  “Then what does she need?” I asked.

  “From you?” he asked, chuckling. “She needs your support. That’s all.”

  We finished our drinks before I clapped Ted’s back, thanking him for his advice. I had a lot to think about as I headed back to my apartment, but the instant the elevator doors opened I was bombarded with her. Memories of her scent, her smile and her presence. Her warmth pressed against me, her body encompassing mine. I slowly walked around my home and closed my eyes, running my fingertips along the perimeter as I conjured the memory of her.

  A memory that included the fact that her eyes lit up whenever she saw me.

  I felt a bit better as I opened my eyes. We were still engaged, which meant I still had a chance. If time together to get to know one another is what we needed, then that was what I would make sure we got.

  I would give her all the time in the world if it only meant she wouldn’t leave.

  Chapter 10

  Abby

  I didn’t want Colin to know that I was still in town. That I was just at my apartment, lying in bed, and thinking. He would’ve been over here in a heartbeat, unable to keep his lack of control from controlling him.

  His personality was pretty ironic sometimes.

  I needed to call my mom. I’d had a couple of days to think on things, and everything inside of me wanted to leave. To stop this insane engagement in its tracks and just try being an employee for a little while. I took out my phone and turned over in bed, dialing my mother’s number before I held the phone to my ear.

  And the moment she picked up I started crying.

  “Abby? Honey, what’s wrong?”

  “Is that Abby?” I heard my father say.

  “I think she’s crying,” my mother said.

  “Mom?” I asked.

  “Honey, I’m gonna put you on speaker.”

  “Okay—”

  “Hey there, sweetie. Can you hear me?” my father asked.

  “Hey, Daddy,” I said, sniffling.

  “What’s got my honey-bear all torn up?” he asked.

  “I’m so confused,” I said.

  “About what?” my mother asked.

  “About L.A. About Colin. About this job and everything that’s—happened.”

  I sobbed into the phone as my parents fell silent on the other end.

  “Sweetheart, what happened?” my father asked.

  I told them the entire story. About how Colin hired a private investigator to look into me and how he found the lawsuit. About how Derek just turned up on my doorstep and proclaimed some idiotic love to me. How Colin paid Derek off and lied right to my face about it. I cried through the entire story, pulling the covers over my head as my unpacked boxes haunted me from the corner of the room. I told them about the car Colin was using to shuttle me to and from work and how I couldn’t even experience the city without being inundated with phone calls from him. I told them how trapped and betrayed I felt, and how part of me just wanted to just pack up, call this shit off, and come home.

  “I could kill that Derek boy,” my father said.

  “Not helpful,” my mother said. “Listen, Abby. How Colin went about this was all wrong. Understand that we’re with you on that. And Derek? He’s a piece of shit.”

  “Mom,” I said, giggling.

  “Way to go, honey,” my father said.

  “But, setting all that aside, Colin was trying to protect you the only way he knew how,” she said.

  “What?” I asked.

  “He should have spoken to you about what he found before trying to fix things, but he was protecting you. Like a future husband should,” my father said.

  “So you’re okay with the fact that he just paid Derek off,” I said.

  “I’m not okay with the fact that he kept you in the dark,” my mother said. “Secrets destroy foundations. But something tells me you haven’t been forthcoming with him on how you’re feeling.”

  “We talked a couple days ago,” I said. “I—told him some things.”

  “Some things, but not all of those things?” my father said.

  “I thought you were on my side with this,” I said.

  “We are. But, you’re not completely innocent in all this either,” my mother said. “It takes two people to make something like this work, but it also takes two people to
break it.”

  “Your mother is right, honey. This is a reason to have a serious talk with Colin. To iron out your first fight, learn from it, and then grow as a couple. But, this isn’t a reason to leave him. Because if you think this is hard, just wait until the two of you have a child and are only getting four hours sleep a night. Then it gets hard.”

  “And honey, it doesn’t stop being hard. Ever,” my mother said. “A relationship takes work. Marriage, is not the end. It’s just another chapter that has to be written. And writing that chapter takes effort.”

  “So, what should I do?” I asked, sniffling.

  “You should talk with him, Abby. Candidly. Tell him how it’s all making you feel, even if it doesn’t make complete sense to you. It could change things for your future together, and strengthen you as a couple,” my mother said.

  I closed my eyes and allowed their wisdom to sink in before I heard my father’s voice.

  “Honey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Get off the phone and call him. Sit down with the man. He loves you. I saw it in his eyes when he proposed. And Derek? It sounds like he tried to come back into your life at an opportune moment to try and get more from you. And when he couldn’t, he decided to destroy your happiness whatever he could to hurt you. He’s an abuser, honey. Don’t let him win. Don’t let him take Colin from you.”

  “Okay, Daddy. I won’t,” I said.

  “Good. Now, get off here and give him a call,” he said.

  “Okay. I love you guys.”

  “We love you, too. Let us know how it goes,” my mother said.

  “Will do.”

  I hung up the phone and sighed. I rolled onto my back and flipped the covers off the top of my head. If I called Colin, all bets were off. If I called Colin and asked him to talk, he would know I was in town. He wouldn’t stop until he knew how to fix this, and I had to be prepared to be bombarded.

  So, I took a deep breath, picked up my phone, and dialed his number.

  It hadn’t rang even once before he answered.

  “Abby?” he asked.

  “Hey there,” I said.

  “Are you okay? Is everything all right?” he asked.

  “I’m fine, Colin. I’m at my apartment.”

  “You’re back in town already?”