Prisoner of the Mind

by Kal Spriggs

“I'll try the senior one first,” Shaden said. He pulled back the bolt and pushed the door open. At the far end of the room he saw a stained mattress and a bundled form huddled under a blanket. He started to step forward and then faltered. Something didn't feel right.

  Even as he hesitated, a figure leapt at him from behind the door. Shaden reacted without thinking, catching the woman with his mind and then slammed her back against the wall.

  “You!” the woman snapped. Her green eyes flashed with rage, “You killed my squad, you bastard, I'll kill you!”

  Shaden held her pinned against the wall. He saw Moira start to step forward, but he waved her back. For now, his was the only face she had seen.

  He closed the door behind him and took several steps to the side, so that he had a few meters between them before he let her go. He cocked his head as he looked at her. There was something about her that seemed familiar. For that matter, there was something off about her voice, something that bothered him. “I'm sorry about what happened to your squad,” Shaden said, “but I didn't attack them.”

  “That's bullshit,” she snapped, “I saw the damn truck fly, am I supposed to think it did that on its own–”

  “No,” Shaden shook his head, “But you probably saw the woman who did it. It wasn't me. I don't know why you and your squad were there, but like me you stumbled into a fight you didn't anticipate...”

  “You expect me to believe that?” she demanded. Her face was hard and there was an edge to her voice as she spoke. “You have to know that we were there to kill you.”

  Shaden's eyes went wide. He realized where he had seen her and why she seemed familiar. She'd been there at Halving's facility. He’d only seen her at a distance, but she’d been one of the perimeter guards. She knows what they did to me... she's a part of it, he thought.

  For just a moment, he felt an overwhelming urge to kill her, to vent all of his frustration and rage upon her. His fists clenched so hard that his fingernails sliced open his palms. He trembled, teetering on the brink of homicidal fury.

  If she had tried to attack him then, if she had even moved he would have killed her instantly. As it was, she seemed shocked by his surprise.

  Slowly, his heart racing, Shaden got himself under control. “I didn't know,” Shaden said quietly. “Not until you told me.”

  She shook her head, “I thought you must have led us into an ambush, like you wiped out the ESPSec team.”

  Shaden shook his head, “I didn't even fight any of them... well, I killed the psychic with them, but that was self-defense. The others...” he trailed off. “They attacked a group of psychics and the psychics defended themselves. It wasn't one-sided.”

  The commando glared at him as she considered his words. When she finally spoke, there was a grudging bit of respect in her voice. “So where does that leave us... assuming I believe you?”

  Shaden closed his eyes. “Doctor Halving, working for the Bureau of ESP Security had my mind wiped. They did some kind of experiments on me, tried to make me into a weapon.” Despite his eyes being closed, he monitored her carefully, alert for any sign of attack. A big part of him wished that she would attack, so that he could vent some of his anger on her with some excuse. To his disappointment, she didn’t provide him with that excuse.

  “I don't need to know any of this,” she responded. She didn't meet his eyes, though, clearly she didn't feel good about what had happened at the facility.

  “What's your name?” Shaden snapped.

  She straightened, “Staff Sergeant Alethea Shade, Amalgamated Worlds Commandos. You want my serial number, too?” She spoke defiantly, in a tone that made projected her presence in a way that defied her short stature.

  He shook his head, “No.” He frowned then as he realized what had bothered him about her voice, “You have a colonial accent.” It wasn’t anything definable. Most of the colonies were such a mix of ethnicities too varied to create an accent. It was more the word choice or maybe it was just the slow manner they spoke. Most people on Earth or the core colonies lived in cities, they spoke fast.

  She glared at him, “Yeah, I was born outside the core colonies. Doesn't mean anything.”

  Few Colonials were trusted inside the military. Most of them were draftees, brought in to fill roles aboard ships or to fill out units. If he could trust what Amalgamated Worlds had imprinted on his mind, only a handful of colonials rose to any position of authority... and then only after rigorous screening.

  “Look,” Shaden said, “whatever your mission was, you can't believe that I deserve to die. All I wanted was to live... and ESPSec just wants to kill me to keep their secrets.” He let out a tense, angry breath, “I won't be free of them unless I go back. I need to find out what exactly they did to me and either undo it or...”

  She attacked him mid-sentence. Shaden had half expected it, though. As she rushed him, he drew on his energy and caught her and forced her back against the wall. Shaden stalked forward until he stood only centimeters away and stared angrily into her eyes, “Tell me where the facility is,” he snapped.

  She snorted at him, “What, you don't know? You escaped from it...” she trailed off as she saw his angry expression. “The snowstorm. You might know the general area but it's not as if you can search the whole area on foot... or do a network search without triggering alerts.”

  She pursed her lips, “Well, torture me, then, do your worst. I won't give you anything.” From the stubborn set of the commando’s jaw, she assumed that he would kill her anyway.

  Shaden sighed, “If I wanted to, I could take it from your mind. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to... invade your mind. I just want to find out what happened to me!” His voice broke as he said that, as he considered that this woman held the information that he needed... and he really didn't want to hurt her.

  She flinched and tried to turn away, but he held her still. When she finally spoke, her voice was subdued, “There are other Commandos there, some of them are friends.”

  Shaden stepped back and released the woman, “I don't plan to hurt anyone. I just want to slip in and find out what I can.”

  “Then you're an idiot,” Staff Sergeant Shade snapped. “The place is guarded by a team of Commandos and a platoon of ESPSec enforcers. They have a full set of perimeter sensors. You can't possibly slip inside unnoticed... and anyone who sees you will try to take you down.”

  “I'll do my best not to kill anyone,” Shaden said. “Please, what's the harm?”

  She clinched her jaw so hard the muscles stood out. “I'd be betraying Amalgamated Worlds. If they found out it was me, I'd be arrested for treason.”

  “InSec's personnel opened fire on your squad,” Shaden said. “They dropped a bomb on the building and killed most of the survivors. What do you owe them?”

  He took several steps back and let her go. “Please. All I need is an address. They won't know it was you. If they catch me...”

  “They all have orders to shoot to kill,” she said.

  “Then there's no chance that they'll find out you told me,” Shaden said. “Give me the address and I'll let you and your squadmate go.”

  He realized that he'd made a mistake then as he saw her eyes go narrow. “Squadmate?” She asked. “Who else survived?”

  “I don't know,” Shaden said. “He didn't have any ID.”

  Her lips went in a flat line. “He's not my squad. David is a psychic, one of ESPSec's tame ones. He was supposed to protect us from you.”

  “Well,” Shaden said, “I'll let him go regardless...”

  “He's as good as dead,” the Staff Sergeant said. “ESPSec put a bomb in his head. This place you have us in must be shielded, which is why my implanted radio isn't working and why his implanted bomb hasn't received a signal from them to detonate.” The very thought of a bomb inside his head made him shudder. How could anyone live with that hanging over their head, day after day? “There's no way ESPSec would let him live,” she said. “Better that you just kill him.”
>
  “I'll see what he wants,” Shaden said. “Either way, give me the address and I'll let you go. I'll do what I can to avoid hurting anyone when I get there, too.”

  “You swear?” Staff Sergeant Shade asked.

  “I swear,” Shaden said.

  She told him.

  ***

  Shaden opened the door to the second cell.

  The shaven-haired man who lay there looked up as he came in. “Give me your weapon,” the prisoner said. At the same time, Shaden felt a nudge against his mind, yet compared to the attack from the psychic woman at the warehouse, it seemed feeble.

  “No,” Shaden said, “I don't think so.” He cocked his head and stared at the other man. “Your name is David, right?”

  David fought to sit up, but from the way his face went pale, it seemed to be more than he could manage. Shaden could almost feel the other man's pain. Moira hadn't told him that Hedden hadn't set or splinted the man's legs. Why bother, Shaden thought, when they plan to kill the man anyway.

  On impulse, Shaden reached out with his senses, so that he could feel the other man's pain. He flinched back from it, overwhelmed for a moment. The agony of the man's legs was a sharp, twisting pain... but David's emotional trauma was far worse.

  He wants to die, Shaden realized. That was why he had demanded a weapon. Not to escape... to end it.

  “You want to die?” Shaden asked.

  David didn't meet his eyes, “I recognize you now: you're the psychic we were supposed to hunt down.”

  Shaden realized that some part of him hated David. The psychic knowingly worked for those who saw him as less than human. “Yes,” Shaden snapped, “Am I your first, or have you helped them hunt others?”

  David looked up, his brown eyes angry, “How many people have you killed? Do you even keep track anymore? I saw what you did to that poor bastard when you escaped. What was his name, Janecek?”

  “I'm the psychic that ESPSec made me,” Shaden said. “As for Janecek, that was self-defense.”

  “Right,” David said. “Psychics like you will justify any action they take. I've been there when ESPSec cleans up after monsters like you.” Shaden felt another nudge against his mind, but this time it wasn't an overt attack... it was a mental image.

  He only got a glimpse, David was too weak and too much in pain to do more, but it was a glimpse of hell. A children's playground, splattered with blood and bits of flesh.

  Shaden looked away and before he could control himself, he turned and began to throw up. His entire being rebelled at that image, at the monster who would do such things.

  “Yeah, you aren't that far gone, yet… but don't worry, I'm sure you'll get there soon,” David said in a cold, angry voice. “All of you who whine about freedom, sooner or later you just end up doing something horrible with it.”

  Shaden turned, “I would never...”

  David gave him a cold smile, “Right, sure. That's what they all say. Then one day they're pulling schoolkids apart for kicks.”

  Shaden shook his head, “I don't know who did that, but I'm not whoever it was.” He forced himself to think, “It must have been someone close to you.”

  It was David's turn to look away. Shaden had found some of the source of self-loathing, then. Clearly, whoever it was, David had trusted him... enough so that he blamed himself for the tragedy.

  “A close friend or even family, maybe?” Shaden asked. When David didn't respond, Shaden let it drop. In truth, he didn't want to know. “Regardless... we need to talk about the bomb they put in you.”

  David's jaw clenched. “What, you worried that it will get you? You needn't bother, the charge is safe outside of ten centimeters. They showed me video of other ones being put to use. To reassure me that my handlers wouldn't be endangered.”

  Shaden grimaced at that. ESPSec forcing their psychics to watch executions was the equivalent of psychological torture. What else should I expect at this point, he wondered. Some part of him still wanted to think that this wasn't how they really were... but Amalgamated Worlds had rubbed too much of their petty cruelties in his face at this point for him to really believe that.

  David's behavior is like some form of Stockholm Syndrome, he's come to think that his survival depends upon them, so he'll forgive or justify anything they do.

  “Look,” Shaden said, “in all likelihood, they've already sent the signal that will cause your explosive charge to detonate. You're in a shielded building, but as soon as we let you go–”

  “Right,” David snapped, “That's why you didn't splint my legs? As if you would let me live, much less let me go. I know you'll torture me for what I know. I’m as good as dead anyway.”

  Shaden stared at him, too angry to form words. It isn’t as if he’s going to listen to me anyway, Shaden thought. David was too stubborn, his worldview was too different… and nothing Shaden said would change that.

  That’s what scares me about him, Shaden realized. David was everything that Shaden had nearly become… If Janecek hadn’t tried to kill me, if ESPSec hadn’t discarded me, then I might be just like him.

  That thought shook Shaden to his core. He had thought that the brainwashing they’d done to him was at least a limited evil, some kind of single experiment… yet here was David, who clearly owed his captors some loyalty. Whether that allegiance was born of survival instinct, duress, or similar mental programming didn’t matter. This was a clear and obvious sign that ESPSec would not hesitate to do as they pleased. They would bend and twist anyone they could to their goals. They would use whatever tactics they saw fit… and they would pit people, normals and psychics alike, against each other.

  “What do they have over you?” Shaden asked. “They put a bomb in your head. How can you still think they’re your friends? How can you not want to get some kind of revenge on them?” Shaden fought the urge to peek inside David’s mind. For one thing, he didn’t want any more horrible memories. For another, it didn’t feel right.

  “Is that what you’re after?” David snarled, “Revenge?”

  Shaden shook his head, “Why do I even bother talking.” He started forward, “Look, I’ll heal you if you’ll let me. I don’t know what to do about the bomb in your head–”

  “Stay away from me!” David shouted. To Shaden’s horror, the other psychic forced himself to sit up, his face tight and pale with pain. “Get away from me!”

  Shaden backed up and he held up his hands, “Look, I’m just going to heal your legs, I’m not going to do anything else, alright?” Shaden tried to put every bit of sincerity into his voice, “Let me help you before you go into shock, at least.”

  David didn’t say anything, but he eased himself back on the mattress, his face covered in a sheen of sweat.

  Shaden came forward and crouched next to him. He extended his hands but he hesitated. He hadn’t really experimented with his healing abilities, it had been something he did on impulse. It would probably release enough energy for nearby psychics to home in on him. Shaden suspected that Thomas Kaid wouldn’t approve if he brought ESPSec down on him.

  For that matter, it would leave him open and vulnerable. If David attacked him… It's the right thing to do, he thought to himself as he closed his eyes. David’s injuries were Shaden’s fault, in a way.

  He reached out with his senses and then David’s pain hit him like a live wire. Shaden gritted his teeth until his jaw creaked. He felt sweat bead his forehead as he focused. He could feel the grating of bone in David’s legs. With a touch of his psychokinetic abilities, he shifted the sheered bones into place.

  Distantly, he heard David grunt in pain, though he thought that he managed to screen the man from the worst of it. To Shaden, it felt as if two spikes drove into his brain and he dropped from his crouch down to his knees… yet he held on to consciousness.

  Shaden poured energy into David’s body. He could feel the bone fusing back together and he could sense the other man’s body, down to a cellular level as the torn tissue and sheere
d bone knit itself whole once more.

  As the last of his dwindling energy fled, Shaden drooped, utterly exhausted.

  That was when David attacked.

  ***

  Chapter 22

  What are we, if not our memories? Do we have a soul? It’s a question I find myself wondering more and more every day. Are my actions no more than reactions, cause and effect or is there some deeper meaning? Do I have free will or am I merely the puppet of those that created me?

  --Memoirs of Shaden Mira

  Causality, cause and effect are the most important part of any experiment. Determining the cause of results is the central definition of science. Run the same test under the same conditions a hundred times and you should get the exact same results every time… as long as you understand every aspect of the data.

  --Dr. Jonathan Halving, Project Archon Notes

  “Hold him down!” A voice shouted.

  Shaden screamed as he felt the needles jab into his temples, followed a moment later by a jolt of electricity. “Why!” he screamed, “Why are you doing this to me!”

  To his surprise, he heard David’s voice, “Stop it!”

  Through the pain, he saw the other psychic, staring at him with horror. For an instant, Shaden saw himself through the other man’s eyes. Shaden was strapped to an exam table. The doctors had drilled into his skull. Wires and medical tubing poked through his skin. His body, almost skeletal, thrashed against the restraints.

  Doctor Halving stepped between them and the link broke. Shaden didn’t know what was real anymore. Shaden screamed as Halving leaned over him. This is real, he thought, this is happening. Again the spike of pain hit, this time hard enough that his back arched. He writhed, too overwhelmed to even scream as the pain washed everything out of his mind. When it finally left, he was nothing more than a trembling wreck, too pain-ridden to manage to even whimper.

  “Proceed with the Apolline dosage,” Halving said.

  “Doctor,” one of the technicians said, “we’re already past the maximum recommended dosage. Any more and we could do him permanent damage.”