The Dark Path of Romance: Find the aliens. Steal their toys. Save the world. Mostly, steal their toys (Kim and Angel Book 2)

by J. Judkins

  Angel stopped at a stairwell door. “This leads directly to the monster’s lair,” she said, her voice low. “We’ll set our trap here. Kim, do you think you could find us some rope?”

  Kim glanced to her right. “What about that convenient coil of rope hanging on the wall over there?”

  “That would be perfect. Now all we need is a weapon.” Angel set her hands on her hips and made a show of looking about. Her eyes settled upon a cast-iron frying pan, sitting alone on an otherwise empty shelf. She picked it up and gave it an experimental swing. “Yes, this will do nicely.”

  The others watched as Angel searched for and found two hooks two inches from the ground on either side of the door. She tied the rope to one hook, then stretched it across the doorway to the other and tied off the other end.

  Melanie gave a slow whistle. “Awfully convenient, all this stuff just sitting here, waiting for her to find it.”

  “Don’t spoil the illusion,” Kim admonished.

  Angel stood and dusted her hands. “The rest of you should hide.”

  The newly freed minions scattered into the dark corners of the room. Naomi stepped next to the wall, out of direct line-of-sight. After a moment, Kim shrugged and joined her.

  Melanie didn’t move. “That’s your trap? You’re going to wait for the monster and trip him?”

  “There isn’t time to debate,” Angel said, somewhat exasperated. “The monster could return at any moment.”

  “You’re expecting him?”

  Kim took Melanie’s hand and ushered her to stand over against the wall by Naomi’s side. “It’s best if you don’t think about it.”

  Angel hefted her frying pan to one shoulder and held a finger to her lips. Apparently satisfied, she took hold of the door handle and jerked it open.

  The monster stumbled out from the other side of the door as if he’d been sleeping against it.

  One foot caught the rope, sending the creature further off balance. It crashed to the floor at Angel’s feet.

  “Don’t move,” she warned.

  Either ignoring or not hearing the advice, the monster braced itself and attempted to rise. Angel rapped his forehead sharply with the frying pan. He collapsed in an ungainly heap.

  Wasting no time, Angel shifted the monster until it was facing her. She found the suit’s clasp and wrenched the head free. Kim had no trouble recognizing the suit’s occupant by his distinctive, greasy hair.

  “Old Man Gunther!” Angel gasped.

  Two things happened at once, but only Kim instantly understood exactly what was happening.

  Kim heard Old Man Gunther’s voice, plain as day, but underneath it, she could also hear muffled noises—noises that sounded suspiciously similar to an angry old man attempting to swear, but unable to do so due to the generous amounts of tape plastered over his mouth.

  “I was hoping to scare you away so I could find the money,” Old Man Gunther was saying, or rather, Angel’s flawless imitation of Old Man Gunther’s voice was saying. “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

  The others stared in stunned disbelief. Kim couldn’t stop smiling.

  Angel disappeared into the darkened stairwell, returning seconds later with a bag marked “First National Bank.” She thrust it into Old Man Gunther’s arms. He staggered under its weight.

  “I found the treasure you were after,” Angel told him. “I noticed it under the stairs. Take it and go. My only advice is to avoid spending it all in one place.”

  There was more muffled swearing.

  Angel held up an admonishing finger and wagged it slowly. “Promise to never do it again, and I won’t involve the police.”

  “I’ve learned my lesson,” Angel replied in her Old Man Gunther voice. “I promise to use this money to clean myself up and make a better life for myself.”

  “See that you do,” Angel said in her normal voice, and ripped the tape free.

  “Ahh!” Old Man Gunther shrieked. “You crazy bitch! The hell’s the matter with you? When you set this whole thing up, I never agreed—”

  Angel used one hand to seize a fistful of costume and hoisted him off his feet. “I said,” she growled, “take the money and go.”

  She released him. Old Man Gunther took the hint and staggered out the open door to freedom.

  “I’m compelled to ask where you got the money,” Kim said.

  “Plausible deniability. You remember, don’t you? Ignorance is bliss.”

  “Of course.”

  “We should keep this frying pan,” Angel said. “I have a feeling ours could be missing from home.”

  “You could be right.”

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  Darkness had fallen by the time the group returned to the parking lot. A chill was in the air, but it wasn’t uncomfortably cold.

  Naomi pulled out a laptop from the trunk of her SUV and handed it to Angel. She set it on the vehicle’s hood.

  After a moment, Angel smiled. “I see. The vehicle itself is connected to the system, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” Naomi couldn’t keep her hands still. “Please don’t keep me in suspense. Do you have it?”

  Angel’s fingers blurred over the keyboard. “I’m in. Give me a few moments to—”

  “Stop!” Kim cried.

  Naomi and Angel both turned to stare at her.

  “Okay, this is just wrong,” Kim said. “I don’t care what sort of nonsense you’ve seen on television, Angel, but hacking into a computer system does not mean hitting all the keys as quickly as you can! You’re not competing for the Olympic key-mashing world record. Do it normally.”

  Angel blew a stray tuft of hair away from her eyes and resumed typing at a normal speed.

  “I thought they had computers in their heads,” Melanie whispered to Kim. “Does Angel even need a laptop?”

  “She doesn’t,” Kim whispered back. “She’s tapped directly into the car, from what I can tell.”

  “Then why is she bothering with a keyboard?”

  Kim leaned closer, using one hand to make it a stage whisper. “They think they’re fooling us.”

  “We can hear you, you know,” Naomi warned.

  It took less than a minute before Angel closed the laptop and took a step back.

  “You’ve done it.” Naomi clasped her hands to her chest, beaming. “I don’t know how, but you’ve done it. The link is gone.”

  Samuel removed his pith helmet and tossed it over his shoulder. “Then we’re finished. This is where we say goodbye,” he said in his distinctive deep voice. “You’re on your own from this point on. We’re taking the vehicles. All of them.”

  “What are your plans?” Naomi asked.

  “I’ve spoken to the others, and they’re in agreement. We’re going to leave this place and never come back. And upon our homecoming, things are going to change. We won’t be tricked any longer. This can’t be allowed to continue.”

  “That seems awfully convenient,” Kim remarked. “Not that I’m complaining, but does anyone here have that kind of authority?”

  “What choice is there? Widespread doubt would ruin our efforts. Our mission has failed.”

  Kim opened her mouth, but then closed it again.

  “What are your intentions?” he asked.

  Naomi reached for Melanie’s hand. “I’m going on a date. After that, who knows?”

  “Speaking more practically,” Melanie said, “Kim, do you think you could drive up tomorrow morning and give us a ride back to the city?”

  “Not a problem,” Kim said. “Have a nice night.”

  Hand in hand, Naomi and Melanie wandered back into Ravenwood.

  The assembled minions drove away. Within minutes, they were nothing more than shadows upon the horizon.

  Kim watched them go with a heavy heart. “That’s it, then. They’ll take their starship and we’ll never see them again.”

  “This is a good thing, Kim. The aliens may offer a bloodless takeover,
but it would still be a takeover. The peace they offer is superficial at best. It had to be done.”

  “I really wanted a starship,” Kim lamented. “Are you sure we can’t . . . ?”

  “We don’t need their starship,” Angel said. “The one they’re using isn’t anywhere near the best of what they could have. They take the path of least resistance, and cut corners whenever possible.”

  “I suppose you’re right.”

  Kim fished out the keys to her Corolla, but paused before opening the doors. “That sounds oddly specific,” she remarked. “Maybe too specific. How do you know that much about their starship?”

  Her question was met with silence.

  “Angel?”

  “This may be difficult to hear, but you were right,” Angel said. “You’d guessed there was another reason I wanted into their computers. I deliberately kept that reason from you, and I apologize for that.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about it.” Kim waved a hand. “I figured out what you were really after days ago. You wanted to learn more about yourself to make an informed decision on whether or not to go. I get it.”

  “I’m not certain how to phrase this, but . . . there’s more. You’ve often told me how you couldn’t imagine anyone choosing to stay on Earth, if it meant giving up the stars.” Angel looked up at the full moon rising in the sky. “Not even for love.”

  Kim felt her blood run cold. “No,” she whispered. “Just, no. Don’t tell me I was right.”

  Angel stared down at her feet. “I’m sorry, Kim,” she whispered. “You were right. I’m so sorry.”

  Kim’s legs threatened to give out. She steadied herself against her car. “No. This isn’t happening,” she said, her voice a whisper.

  “All this time, I hid my true intentions from you,” Angel continued. “What I did . . . from the beginning . . . nothing of what I did was solely with the intention of freeing Naomi. She was simply a means to an end. I wanted access. You were right to suspect me. Everything I did was toward that. I needed access to their computers because I hoped to uncover . . .” Her face twisted. “To uncover certain truths.”

  Kim bit her lip, determined not to cry. “Dammit, Angel. Don’t do this to me. Don’t tell me. Just . . . don’t.”

  “This is important, Kim. You need to know.”

  “Are you leaving me?”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  Delicate fingers touched her face. “No. Never. I could never leave you, Kim Rowland. I love you.”

  “You better start explaining, then.”

  “I’ve noticed the pattern. Humans in science fiction alien invasion stories often become focused upon the wrong objectives. They lose sight of what should be their true goal, and instead work toward stopping the aliens’ evil plans to the exclusion of all else. Our primary purpose as investigators should be oriented toward liberating every piece of alien technology we can find, nailed down or otherwise. From what I can tell after months of living with you—”

  “One month.”

  Angel’s eyes widened. “Only one? Still?”

  “Keep talking.”

  “During this entire time, you’ve made no secret of how much you wanted alien toys. I believe this to be the primary reason you volunteered for the job. Saving the world was incidental. What you truly wanted above all else was a starship, a means to leave this planet, to live a life among the stars. It was a life you couldn’t conceive of anyone being willing to give up. Not even for love.”

  “What does any of what you just said have to do with you leaving?”

  “As I said, everything I did was oriented toward one specific goal. Naomi wanted the freedom to pursue a relationship. To achieve my goals, I helped her achieve hers. I helped bring her and Melanie together.

  “And then,” Angel said, “after securing Naomi’s trust, I pressed for computer access. It took time and further persuasion, but she granted it. I took advantage of her trust in me, abused our newfound friendship, and . . .”

  “And?”

  “I stole the secret to faster-than-light technology.”

  Kim blinked. “You what?”

  “I stole the secret to faster-than-light technology.”

  “You what?”

  Angel rolled her eyes to the heavens. “I said, I stole the secret—”

  “Yeah, I heard you the first time. And the second. What? You did . . . what?” Kim bounced on her feet. “What are you saying, Angel?”

  “I admit, a fully functional starship may take years to design. Scientists will still need to puzzle out the minor details, but that’s somebody else’s problem. The secret to interstellar travel?” She whistled. “That’s the really nice one.”

  “You stole . . .”

  “I imagine that if we agreed to bonus shares of company stock before bringing this secret to light, the two of us should be multi-billionaires by the time Harrison or one of the others finishes a working prototype. I imagine humanity could expand for decades, or perhaps even centuries before encountering any of the other civilized species. It’s a big galaxy.”

  Kim looked up at the night sky. Tears flowed unchecked down her face. Angel had given her the stars. The unlimited freedom to do anything.

  Anything at all.

  “You stole the secret—”

  “—to faster-than-light technology, yes.”

  “Wow.”

  Angel took Kim’s unresponsive hand. “I’m sorry, but this discovery effectively removes the entire reason for the job. I can’t imagine we’ll have anything to do beyond today. We could travel. See the world. Eat exotic foods. Have lots and lots of sex. Whatever we feel like doing.”

  “Looks like we don’t need your lottery ticket.”

  “No. I suppose we don’t.”

  “I love you, Angel.”

  “I know.”

  Kim grinned savagely. “I love you even more because you got the quote right.”

  “There’s a quote?”