The Willingness to Burn

by J. P. London

  Dexter side-stepped the large man and grabbed Jace, giving him a big hug, and pulled him into the VIP.

  Upon reaching the table, Jace saw that they had literally bought out the entire bar, getting one of every bottle they had to offer and a few more bottles of vodka. The seven masters of the universe were surrounded by no less than fifteen beautiful women. It was referred to as a models and bottles party in the industry.

  After shaking hands with a few other guys at the firm, Mark grabbed Jace and pulled him in close.

  “How did it go?” he shouted in his ear.

  “Locked down.”

  “Signed and sealed?”

  “You bet.”

  “You’re a fucking beast!”

  Mark pulled Jace in a headlock and Jace saw the pile of coke sitting on the glass VIP table. Mark’s enthusiasm was obviously fueled by more than just vodka.

  The ready-made pile of white on the table began calling his name. Although Jace was able to avoid it for a while, he should have expected to see it there that night. But what was he going to do? Not go to Dexter’s celebration? That would just be rude.

  Jace was always amazed by how the legit, successful establishments would just let them act like they owned the place. And for the price of ten to twenty grand a night, he supposed they didn’t care. They would turn a blind eye to coke, hookers, anything. It was all in the name of business, and as he poured a drink and really thought about it, that was why they were the “it” spot of the season, and in all likelihood the reason why they never stayed open for that long—they let lunatics act like they were above the law.

  Jace sat down, and almost as though they were assigned, a model, a skinny Russian girl, sat on his lap and introduced herself. She was Natalia, an aspiring ass model for Calvin Kline from Brooklyn. She loved the city and hated fur. Typical model, he thought.

  Mark lined up two rails of coke on the table and motioned to Jace, to which Jace gritted his teeth and politely declined. The bitter nostalgic taste of coke crept into his mouth, and a flood of anxious energy washed over him. He knew that Mark could sense that in him. As an avid user, Mark would sense the weakness and would eventually convince Jace to take another ride on the white dragon. Mark was his boss, after all, although be it in a limited capacity nowadays. Mark was just a few short steps away from being partner at that point, and it was important to stay on his good side.

  The hours passed, and as they came and went, so did more bottles, more coke, and more models. Jace was well plied by Ciroc and Mark stood over Kendra, a tall European girl who had moved to New York a few months ago off the strength of her Instagram following.

  Mark lined up more coke and after Jace refused, he grinned and said something that Jace couldn’t hear, then poured a vile of coke on Kendra’s exposed cleavage. Jace looked at him hesitantly, but it was just a look. He knew the second that the white power touched down on her breasts he was going back to that familiar place. Mark offered him a nod of encouragement. As Mark offered him that nod, that mentor/mentee guiding nod, Jace buried his head in Kendra’s chest. He inhaled deeply through his nose and the bitter chemical taste of cocaine, a taste that he had always been fond of, engorged his senses. He snorted and could feel the wet drip in the back of his throat. Oh, fuck.

  Mark smiled and slapped Jace on the back.

  After another drink, Jace started rubbing his temples. He wanted more. Coke wasn’t the type of drug that you did once and then you were fine. It was the type that called out to you, that beckoned repeatedly. The downfall was much worse than the continued use. Jace looked over at Mark. He ground his teeth. Mark grinned back at him from beneath the Brazilian girl whose name Jace could not remember. Dexter plopped down on the couch next to Jace and signaled to Kendra that she needed to leave so that they could talk. Or, at least, that’s what he was going for. “Get the fuck out of here” was more of the message that was delivered.

  “Bro, we are going to take over this fucking town.”

  “You got that goddamn right.”

  “Soon enough we’ll be partners, running this shit for ourselves.”

  “Hell yeah, man. Having people like us doing all the work while we sit back and cash giant motherfucking checks.” Behold, cocaine: the drug of ambition.

  “You got that right.”

  Mark slammed down on the couch on Jace’s other side and screamed at them.

  “Let’s get the fuck out of here. We’re taking those girls to the W.” Mark motioned to the five girls who at that point were either models or hookers, there was really no way to be sure with Mark.

  “Fuck yeah! Now we’re talking,” Dexter screamed.

  Jace laughed. “All right, I gotta take a piss,” Jace responded.

  “I’ll go with ya,” Mark said and stood up with Jace. “Dex! Take them out the backdoor to the car.”

  Dexter nodded and the two men powered through the VIP and to the restroom.

  The place was crowded and there was a line. But things of that nature were no concern to Mark. The rules of normal men no longer abided. He and Jace walked to the front of the line, gave the bouncer a fist full of hundreds, and walked in the bathroom.

  Mark took up the urinal next to Jace and stared straight ahead—proper bathroom code.

  “So ten million, huh?”

  “Yessir,” Jace said with a slight slur.

  “You’re really shining, man.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Yeah, I mean that, too. You’ve locked down what, four clients?”

  “Five.”

  “Five clients. In what, three, four months?”

  “Yeah, about that.”

  “That’s fucking golden, man. Rollover fees alone you’re gonna make a few mil this year.”

  “Yeah I know, man. I’m so fucking excited.”

  Mark finished and walked over to wash his hands.

  “You should be,” he called out. The music was low and a scream was unnecessary to communicate at short distances.

  Jace finished and zipped up.

  “Most people don’t make it this far. We’re the few and the proud.”

  Jace laughed. “Yeah, like the marines, huh?”

  “There’s a lot more of them then us.”

  “That’s true.”

  Jace started washing his hands and Mark held a key with coke on it to Jace’s face.

  “Here ya go.”

  Jace snorted and shook his head with newfound energy. After all, he had already tasted it. What’s a few more hits? If you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.

  “Hits the spot, don’t it?”

  “You got that fucking right!” Jace exclaimed with the mania only suited to a drug user.

  Mark took a bump of coke himself. “All right, let’s go grab these girls.”

  “Lead the way, Sir.”

  Mark navigated through the club to the VIP and out the back door. There, the limo service was waiting for them, and Natalia in her short red dress was standing outside smoking a cigarette. She looked gorgeous. With her four-inch heels, fuck-me eyes, and an ass that made you believe in God, she looked like a daydream.

  Mark went around the other side of the car and Jace approached her. She smiled at him.

  “Hey,” Jace said with a smile on his face.

  “Hey yourself,” she responded. In an instant, the flash of Maddy in so many places in so many scenarios greeting him. Always the same. “Hey yourself.” Jace froze mid-step.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked in her sexy accent.

  Jace smirked and shook his head.

  She stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck. “Mark says were going to go swimming at the hotel. Will you save me if I drown?” She leaned in, pressing her lips on his, but he did not kiss her back.

  “I’m afraid I cant. I have to go.”

  “Why?”

  “I … I just do.”

  “Are you sure?” She leaned in closer to him and pushed his wrist down. Jace’s hand m
oved from her hip down to her perfect ass. Oh, dear God, this thing is a work of art.

  “Yes … Yes … Well … Yes, I have to go.” Jace pulled her arms down. “But I’m sure Dex will keep you safe.”

  “Dex, save this woman from drowning,” Jace called out.

  “Yeahhh,” came from the limo.

  “It was nice meeting you, Natalia, but I got a cab to catch,” Jace said, breaking into a light jog up the alleyway.

  “Where the fuck are you going?” Mark cried out from halfway in the limo

  “Mark, I’ll see ya Monday!”

  Chapter 8

  Sometime later…

  Jace’s apartment was a quaint place. Not the type of place that you would picture a hedge fund manager living in, but then again, Jace was just another cog in the machine and had only become an account man just over a year ago. He was far from being an actual fund manager. This place, however, would be what you would expect for a junior account man.

  Jace lived at the top of a third floor walkup in Hoboken, New Jersey. A city whose name derived from how poor it used to be before someone had the bright idea to make it the newest suburb of NYC. Thirty years before, the place was a dump. But the would-be masters of the universe had to live somewhere, and when the city was too expensive, New Jersey was the next best place. It was a place where a fifteen-minute Path ride might save you a few thousand dollars a month.

  And on that night, with a bottle of wine freshly uncorked and the contents emptied into two stemless glasses that were resting on the coffee table, Jace and Maddy relaxed on the couch. Their bodies were overlapping one on top of the other. Her body laid on top of his with her legs up by his head. His legs sat at a similar position spread out underneath her and resting on either side of her head.

  The high ceilings of the third-floor apartment did little to spread out the heat despite the cold shudder of fall that was upon them. A large open window allowed in both the cool breeze and the tense energy of the small city looking out over the larger one.

  “Here, look at this one,” Maddy said and turned her phone to face Jace. He leaned in and moved his lips to read the caption then started laughing.

  “Okay, okay, I gotcha beat.” Jace turned his phone to show Maddy a picture, and after a moment or two, she laughed.

  “Oh my God, that’s horrible!”

  Jace laughed. “I know, I have the worst sense of humor.”

  “Yeah, it’s a good thing I’m as sick as you are,” Maddy said.

  He glided his hand up and down her shin bone. “Yeah you are a sick puppy, aren’t cha?”

  “Ummm, listen, pot, be careful what you say to the kettle.”

  Jace laughed. He leaned in and kissed her ankle, dragging his hand up lightly over her naked thighs and paused at her pelvis squeezing her hips through her lacy black underwear.

  “I mean it as a compliment,” Jace said.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah, if you were normal, I wouldn’t be dating to you.”

  “Oh, no?”

  “Nope,” Jace said, sitting up and letting her legs fall to his sides. He leaned in and kissed her. “I need to date someone as twisted as I am.”

  “Well, I don’t know if I’m that twisted.”

  Jace laughed. “Hey,” he said and pinched her calf.

  “Ow,” Maddy said and made an exaggerated sad face.

  “Don’t give me that look.”

  “Ow,” she said, keeping her look.

  Jace laid back on the two seater couch and shimmied his legs back to their original position pulling Maddy’s hips up on top of his gray boxers. Aside from the bed and desk, it was the only real piece of furniture in the apartment. At least, the only piece that you could sit on. The two-seater couch was part of a set. It came complete with a much larger couch that would have been great for such a lazy night but the three floors of winding staircases had something else to say. Maddy’s legs extended past his chest and her manicured toes dangled just beyond his ears.

  She bent her knees and pressed her feet against his chest. He grabbed her ankles and made small rubbing motions with his fingers.

  “Do your nipples get hard?”

  Jace laughed. “Of course they do. What kinda question is that?”

  “I don’t know. Why do you even have nipples?” She pressed her big toe on Jace’s nipple.

  “Well, I got them a long time ago, and I was considering getting rid of them but, you know.”

  “You grew attached to them?”

  Jace smiled. “Yeah, something like that. Why do you have nipples?”

  “Well, that’s obvious.”

  “Something for me to bite on?”

  “Well, that’s the main point, I think they have something to do with children, too, but I’d have to google that.”

  “Nah, that’s an old wives tale. They’re pretty much there to just frame out your tits.” Jace paused a moment. “Well, that and they’re fun to play with.”

  “Obviously, there’s that too. Are yours fun as well?”

  “Nah, not really, they’re kinda just there.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Maddy asked then adjusted her feet and tried to squeeze his nipples with her toes. Jace winced and turned.

  “Hey, hey!” Jace said, lifting her feet up. “Be careful, Miss Maddy, I have amazing strength in my toes.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “Oh, you bet your ass it is.” Jace looked at her with mock sincerity. “I will pull your nipples right off.” Jace lifted his foot up and waved at her with his toes, cracking one of them.

  “Wait, watch this,” Maddy said then rolled her foot around at her ankle. The ankle clicked and clacked.

  “Oh, god.” Jace’s head jolted back in surprise.

  ”Yeah, and I can do it with the other one too.” She proceeded to roll her ankle and it cracked once twice then three times. “I can keep doing it.”

  “That’s awesome!”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, I can do it with my toes.”

  Jace started cracking his toes.

  “Ewwww.”

  “Hey, kettle.”

  Maddy laughed. “Mine actually have different pitches.”

  “Do they really?”

  “Yeah, listen!” She proudly proceeded to roll both of her ankles again.

  “Eww, they do. That one’s higher,” Jace said motioning to her right leg.

  “Yup, and I think that means I win.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  The pair laid there wrapped up in each other. It was how they spent most of their evenings. Discussing the weird, the insignificant, and the importance of the unimportant.

  “So, I’ve been thinking …”

  “Yeah? Whatcha been thinking?”

  “I’m thinking, the next sale I close, I’m going to move to the city.” Jace pulled his body up to a sitting position, still facing Maddy on the couch and grabbed his wine glass, taking a sip.

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Had enough of Jersey?”

  “Nah, never, but I feel like it would be more convenient.“

  “Yeah, especially with how far you have to walk once you get there.”

  “Yeah, and I don’t mind the walking so much in the summer, but come February that is not fun at all.” Jace took another big swig of his glass and put the cup down. “And in all honesty, the only reason I ever come to Jersey is because this is where I live. Literally every other part of my life is in the city.”

  “Every part?” Maddy asked, forcing a frown.

  “Well, except you—” Jace squeezed her feet “—but you work in the city and whenever we go out it’s usually in the city.”

  “That’s true.”

  “And wouldn’t it be so much nicer if we had a place to go back and cuddle up in the city?” Jace pulled her body back on top of him.

  “Hey, don’t sell me, Mister.”

  Jace put his hand to his chest. “I wouldn’t d
ream of it.”

  “Plus, that way when I have to have dinner with clients, I can stop home and shower first.”

  “Yeah, that definitely makes it an advantage.”

  “So, what are you doing with this place?”

  “Well, I still have like six months on my lease, so I don’t know, maybe I’ll get out of it.”

  “Or you could sublease it to someone.”

  “Or I could do that.”

  “Because I happen to know a girl looking to move to Hoboken.”

  “Who?”

  “Me, silly.”

  “Are you really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Now, why would you go and do a thing like that?”

  “Because I definitely need to move out.”

  “Well, if you want, I mean, if I’m moving to the city, you could always stay with me.”

  “Nope, absolutely not. I mean, yeah, I’ll always stay there.” Maddy laughed. “But I need my own place. Even if it’s just there to hold my shoes.”

  “Well, what if I get a place with the biggest closet in New York.”

  “Then I’ll be yours forever, darling.”

  Jace pressed his hips into Maddy’s.

  “But no, I still need my own place, at least for now.”

  “Okay. That’s fair.”

  Chapter 9

  Jace glanced down at his watch then back up at the street. He pulled his overcoat tight against his skin and let out a shuddered breath. In New York, the streets were never silent, there was always something, horns beeping, cats meowing, sirens, something. There was always something. But in the auditory cloud of chaos, Jace began to hear the signature click clacking sound of familiar shoes walking at a familiar pace. Jace smiled and looked up at a beautiful earmuffed girl closing in on his location one click of her heels at a time.