Dirty Angels

by May Dawson

  "I thought you were the expert on angels," I said as Jacob and I left the dining room. He turned and closed French doors behind us, giving us some small amount of privacy in the kitchen.

  "No," he said shortly. "After all, I didn't grow up with angels around. The only other time I met Zuriel, he had a sword in his hands and murder in his eyes."

  "I don't have a glib response to that."

  "He certainly took deadbeat dad a step further," Jacob said.

  "How did you get away from him?"

  "He didn't have it in him to kill me. I'd rather not gamble on that much."

  "Me either."

  "But I'd like to gamble on it a little." He hesitated. "Ellis, it's a terrible time for me to leave you guys. Which is why I wanted to talk to you first."

  "About your crazy idea?"

  He nodded. "I thought maybe I could go see Zuriel. Find out what it's going to take to get him off our heels."Brilliant idea. Definitely. "He held a sword to your throat."

  "It was a heated moment."

  I raked my hand through my hair. "It's a terrifying plan. Also, I kind of need you if we're going to steal back Nim's soul."

  Jacob leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. "I do love a good heist."

  "So you're in?"

  "I thought the decision was already made, from the sounds of the conversation over breakfast."

  "Which still blows my mind, since you were all ready to kill him."

  Jacob smiled faintly. "I trust you."

  "And that is why I adore you." I rested my hands on his shoulders, smiling slightly to undercut those ridiculous words. He wrapped his hands around my waist. Softly, I said, "I miss you lately."

  "Because we're not trapped in a demon's case together with all the time in the world to chat?"

  I crinkled my nose at him. "When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous."

  "I miss you, too," he said. "Once I get this Zuriel situation figured out, once no one's trying to kill us. Date?"

  "Yes, please." I cocked my head at him. "You know you don't have to figure out Zuriel all on your own, just because he's your father, right?"

  "I know," he said, a little too quickly. "We're a team."

  I bit down on my lip. "I don't like it. If things go south, there's no way you can take Zuriel on your own."

  "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

  "He's just terrifying."

  "That's why I'm working on Demon Magic 101. Demons and angels go to war all the time. Humans don't have much in the way of magic to defend from angels. I learned what I could when I was just a kid, but..." He shrugged.

  "Do angels rarely attack humans?"

  "Generally speaking, angels are the good guys." He hooked his thumbs through my belt loops. "And when they aren't, humans usually just die. So they don't come back with much useful information."

  "You're not making me feel better about this."

  He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "In the end, Ellis, I'm not asking. I'm going to do whatever it takes. To protect you and to protect my brothers."

  "Rock, paper, scissors doesn't sound so bad in comparison," I said. "Let me come with you."

  "When we're going up against something you described, absolutely accurately, as terrifying, it does not make me want to bring you along." Jacob said. "My whole mission in life is to protect you."

  I rolled my eyes, and he said, "Literally. My entire God-given mission in life. Or so I've been told."

  "What's my mission as the Lilith, then? Because I want to protect you." I nodded toward the dining room. "And them."

  "I know you do," he said.

  He didn't say it as if it were a good thing.

  But he did tilt my chin up and kiss me again, his lips soft and tender on mine.

  When our lips parted, I said, "I'm coming with you."

  "You trust Ryker and Nimshi here alone without you?"

  "Maybe they'll bond."

  "Doubtful. Well, I'll be glad for the company, Princess."

  "I know."

  He rolled his eyes, but he kissed me again anyway.

  24

  While my mother kept Nimshi company—something that made me a bit nervous—the four of us settled onto the floor in the library.

  "Can we do this without Parrish's guided meditation?" Ryker said.

  "Ugh." I didn't want to think about Parrish, which made me think of the video she had shown us of a Lilith and her Hunters dying in the Far.

  "We get in," Jacob said, "We verify that we can do it, and then we get out. No moseying around the Far."

  "I've got no interest in moseying," Ryker said. "I got enough of that shithole last night."

  "You think the afterlife is a shithole?" Levi asked.

  "Definitely," Ryker said. "Yeah, I haven't seen Heaven yet, but the Far? More demons, no donuts, no coffee, no pie. It's no place for us."

  "Why is there a Far?" I asked. "Why not just Heaven and Hell?"

  "We don't know for sure," Levi said. "But reading the Mythos, I think it's unjust to send people to the afterlife based on what they did before they knew the complete picture. Most people have already picked their path before they reach the Far, but they get the chance to change direction. Especially the people who find themselves in the middle ground, which is more like Purgatory."

  "So why wouldn't everyone just reverse direction if they find themselves near the Hot Place?" I asked.

  "People don't change that easy, Ellis." Ryker said.

  "I guess people don't," I said. Given how often he had called Nimshi a demon, I added, "But hopefully half-demons do."

  "Of course, he's going to be on our side right now," Ryker said. "Until he gets a better offer."

  "Well, we'll see what he's like with his soul plugged back in."

  "Can't wait."

  "Many people either feel they deserve Hell or are so... twisted...they don't even realize what they're choosing." Levi said. "Hell's not hurting for residents."

  "Great," I said.

  "And one day, we'll get visitor passes to Hell." Jacob leaned forward, his t-shirt straining across his broad shoulders, and lit the candles in the bowl between us all. "But for now, just the Far. In and out. No gab."

  I swiveled on the floor, my back to the candles in the bowl and to the guys, and then lay down. The room was supposed to be serene, but my mind raced as Jacob got up and flipped off the lights. The memory rose of the first time I brushed up against the Far, in the sensory deprivation tank, and my chest tightened with the memory of my panic. I had been weightless and free one second, and the next I was flailing in the water wildly, unable to draw a breath, my lungs frozen. I wondered if my breath in the room seemed loud and ragged to anyone else. I was not in an om-om meditating kind of mood.

  The room was dark except for the faint flicker of the candles behind us, which cast strange shadows on the wall.

  Each of us put our arms up, joining hands. I found Jacob's long fingers and Ryker's calloused ones. As we lay there soundlessly, trying to let go of the thoughts that spooled through our brains, I took in details about the room around me. The air smelled faintly of old books. The room was cool. There was a faint ticking from a clock in the corner of the room, and the soft sounds of the men breathing around me. My own breath seemed loud in my ears, even though it was slow and even.

  "Together," Jacob said. "Hands linked. Family. We stand in the darkness, at the edge of the Far."

  Well, this felt awkward. But we had to imagine the same vision at the same time to ease into the Far together. I couldn't help picturing the world I'd seen the night before, filled with green hedges and freakish statues. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. Don't think about the hedges. Just look into the black. My chest squeezed with panic. Oh God, don't think about the perfect pitch blackness of the deprivation tank either, though. Just darkness. Imagine darkness.

  The world shifted. I stood between Jacob and Ryker, their hands cool and firm in mine, and listened to their fa
int breathing, the only sound.

  "We all hear the wind rustle in the trees. As we watch, the darkness turns to gray, and it begins to grow light at the horizon, as if the sun is rising. The first rays of the sun carry the shadows of distant trees. You look down at the grass beneath our feet. When we look up again, the world is bright. We look out at a sweep of oak trees with tangled limbs. Open your eyes."

  I opened my eyes, but there was nothing above me but the ceiling. Without thinking, I squeezed the boy's hands in mine tighter, afraid I would lose them. "Are you guys here or there?"

  "Here." Jacob pulled away, sitting up. He swore, and then swiveled around, sitting cross-legged. "All right. We're not making it in together. Everyone, tell me what you imagined. We've got to get on the same page."

  I groaned. "So just like every other bit of magic—"

  "This is a pain in the ass," Ryker finished. "Yep."

  Jacob clapped his hands together. "Come on. One vision. Everyone focused. We can do this."

  We tried for hours. I would think I felt grass beneath my feet, but as I opened my eyes, the sensation fell away. There was nothing but the library around me.

  "So close." Jacob sighed, raking his hand through his hair. He glanced over at Ryker. "I wonder what would happen if we tried it with Nimshi."

  "Not a chance," Ryker said. "Not without his soul. That world is full of demons and his kind of magic. One trick and—"

  "I know," Jacob interrupted.

  "So let's get the kid his soul back," Levi said.

  "He's no kid," said a gruff voice from the stairs.

  Ryker and Levi jumped to their feet. Jacob ay back on the ground, closing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest, as if he would rather continue the pointless meditation.

  "Hey, Dad." Ryker said gruffly.

  25

  Ryker and Levi hugged their dad. It was the same kind of quick, manly hug they'd exchanged with the other Hunter family, leaning in with their shoulders touching, a quick clap on the back. I wondered how close they were to him.

  "It's been a long time since I've been in this house," Duncan said, stepping back. His salt-and-pepper hair was cut military short, but he had a few days' beard growth across his craggy, handsome face. He looked like an aging action hero. His brown leather jacket was cracked with age. When he shifted, I saw a glint of metal. He was carrying a weapon, even here. In our house.

  Duncan nodded in Jacob's general direction. "Jacob."

  "Hi, Duncan." Jacob finally climbed up off the floor. He knelt to blow out the candles and gathered up the bowl.

  "This is Ellis." Levi rested his hand on my shoulder.

  "The infamous Ellis." Duncan held his hand out to me. His fingers were slightly crooked, as if he'd broken them more than once.

  I shook his hand. "Infamous, huh?"

  "I don't mean anything by it," Duncan said.

  Which was exactly what someone would say who meant something by it. I glanced at Ryker and Levi. Levi had his hands stuffed in his pockets, his shoulders slightly hunched. Ryker crossed his arms over his chest and forced a faint smile to his face. They looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

  "What brings you here, Dad?" Ryker asked. I knew him well enough by now to hear the false note in his easygoing tone.

  "I've got to talk to you boys." Duncan said.

  "Great." Ryker glanced at his watch. "We should break for lunch anyway."

  Duncan wandered across the basement, heading toward the cell room. The cell was once again hidden by the moving wall of books. Ryker and Levi exchanged a glance and headed quickly after him.

  "Dad," Levi said.

  "Is this where you've got your demon?" Duncan’s rough hands danced over the bookshelves, as if he had forgotten where the release was for the door. Then there was a soft click. He pulled the shelves aside.

  Mom and Nimshi looked up in surprise. Mom had her paperback open, and Nimshi was lying on the mattress.

  "Were you reading to him?" I asked, perplexed.

  "Everyone enjoys being read to, dear," Mom said, carefully bookmarking her place.

  "And there's no TV down here," Nim pointed out.

  "Sorry, we don't offer the plushest accommodations." Ryker said.

  "At least you've got him locked up," Duncan said. "From the way it sounded when I heard it, sounded like you were breaking bread and tucking him in at night."

  "We leave the tucking-in to Ellis' mom," Ryker said.

  Levi mouthed at him, "You're making things weird."

  Actually, that didn't make things any less weird.

  "You know what I mean," Ryker said, gesturing toward my mother and her ridiculous paperback and her innocent expression. "Because bedtime stories...whatever."

  "Breaking bread?" Nimshi swiveled, planting his feet on the ground. For the first time, he looked like he was enjoying himself, a faint smirk playing on his lips. "Not bread. Biscuits, though."

  Duncan stared at him.

  Nimshi stood and sauntered across the floor, his hands in his pockets. "Time for lunch?"

  Ryker glanced at my mother and then picked up the baton from the corner of the room. "Time for lunch."

  "Is that really necessary?" Mom asked.

  Ryker didn't bother to answer her. He stood with his back blocking her as he keyed in the combination and released the magic on the lock.

  "Who'd you hear it from?" Levi asked Duncan. His tone was low and deceptively casual.

  "Doesn't matter," Duncan said.

  "Matters to me." Levi crossed his arms over his chest.

  "I'll go finish up lunch," Mom said. "I made myself at home in your kitchen, started some chicken brining for fried chicken."

  "You never make me fried chicken," I said.

  "I'm making you fried chicken now!" Mom said.

  I raised an eyebrow at her. She was not making me fried chicken. She was making my boyfriends fried chicken. I'd only ever gotten fried chicken on my birthday.

  Of course, she did have a birthday to make up to me. The birthday that, as far as she knew, I'd spent locked in an asylum with the Company's demented guards. But in reality, I'd spent my birthday celebrating my newfound connections with Ryker and Levi.

  Mom leaned in toward me. I leaned forward, expecting that she had a secret. Instead, she whispered, "Why are you blushing?"

  I shook my head. Family was exasperating. Both the family I'd been born into and the family the boys had been born into. Come to think of it, I was already thinking of the boys as my family, and they were pretty goddamn exasperating, too.

  As we took our places around the dining room table, Duncan said, "Never thought I'd see my sons entertaining a demon."

  "Never thought we'd find out Mom used to entertain one," Ryker said.

  "Watch it," Jacob warned him.

  Levi drew my chair back for me before he slid into his own seat beside me. I caught Duncan's eyes on us, noticing, his gaze intent.

  I wondered why Jacob felt so possessive of his mother. Ryker routinely referred to her as a demon-hunting trollop—fondly as he said it—and Jacob had never minded before. And then my heart dropped as I remembered Jacob guessing that Nimshi had been the price for Jacob's freedom. I had never seen Jacob look so stricken.

  I had to talk to him. But I certainly couldn't talk to him now.

  "Who did you think was the Fourth, Dad?" Ryker asked.

  "I've never known who it was."

  "It never came up? Hey, Wendy, I noticed that you got pregnant again while we were still married, but—"

  "We were getting divorced by then."

  I thought of what the boys had said once before, about how Hunters tattooed themselves when they married. Forever marked for one marriage. But then, Jacob said they didn't usually live long enough for second marriages.

  "But you weren't curious?"

  "Your mom had gone undercover for the council," Duncan said, his tone impatient, as if this should be the end of the conversation. "Apparently she went deep undercover."


  "She really never said anything to you?" Jacob asked, his voice low.

  Levi's eyes flashed over to him, and I knew Levi was taking in more than he let on, as usual. Levi always figured the rest of us out.

  "She really never did. After all, unlike like the rest of you, she wasn't a big talker."

  Yes, the trouble with my boys was definitely that they talked too much. If Duncan thought they were too in touch with their feelings, I was surprised he was able to communicate in more than growls and grunts himself.

  My mom came in just then, bearing a platter of fried chicken. Ryker jumped up and went to help her in the kitchen. I quirked an eyebrow at Jacob, wondering why Ryker was suddenly worried about making a good impression on my mom. I wanted her to embrace the idea of my three, possibly four, boyfriends. She was taking things pretty well in stride, anyway. I was still surprised by how she had fit into the house in just a day and was momming it up, cooking and getting to know the boys.

  I didn't know what Ryker said my mom in the kitchen, but they came out of the kitchen both smiling. Ryker carried a bowl of coleslaw in one hand and a jug of sweet tea in the other. Jacob, for once, did not complain about a lack of warrior food, perhaps because he wanted to stay on my mother's good side.

  The delicious aroma of the food filled the air. For a few minutes, everyone, whether demon, angel, or human, stuffed their faces in companionable silence. It had been a long time since my mom cooked for me, since before Ash died. I tore into a pile of succulent fried chicken and the sweet, tangy coleslaw. I saw Levi smile faintly, ducking his head, and I stopped, wiping my hands on a napkin.

  Levi brushed a crumb off my cheek with his napkin. "You are adorable."

  I raised my eyebrows. "I'm not convinced you mean that."

  "You are." He glanced across the table, suddenly embarrassed by the others listening in, and leaned in close to me. "It's nice to see you eat. To see you happy. Ish."

  And as if on cue, Duncan asked, "What's the story with Sleeping Beauty, anyway?"

  "You poked through our house," Jacob said. "Nice."