Arrick moves into my mouth again, seemingly unable to stand the distance, kissing me as passionately as he can, hands ravaging my hair and throat in a bid to keep me close as humanly possible. I can’t withstand his kiss, how it makes me feel, from inside out, an ache and yearning, burning to a fever pitch that is almost unbearable. His tongue finds mine, pushing us further into the sort of kissing that leaves no misinterpretation to how much he wants me, one of his hands moving down to cup my breast as he pushes against me. My own hands have worked their way inside his shirt, realising I am literally unbuttoning as I go and revealing that expanse of hard naked torso and tattoos. He presses a knee between my thighs, pressure making me writhe and press back to him. We both know where this is heading, and I don’t even hesitate about whether I want it or not.
He slides his leg further between my thighs and moves in against me seductively, I let out a soft moan that seems to send him over the edge. I can feel a rock-hard arousal pressed into my own pelvis, the first real sign that Arrick is as sexually turned on by me as I am by him and something inside of me seems to take this as a sign to lead. Inhibitions dissipating between us, sliding my hands down to his waistband and pulling the button and zipper open as he still kisses me into panting submission. I slide my hand into his trousers, seeking him out, no fear, no repulsion, just a dreamlike haze of drunkenness telling me how right this is and not to question it in the slightest.
I encircle him, cautiously, unsure if I am even doing this right but want to try so much and gently caress his growing desire. I feel empowered by my hazy state, fuelled by his body responses, his tongue still in my mouth and the subtle groans I feel reverberating through him. The sense of power and sexiness it gives me just fuels me with adrenalin.
Arrick groans as I tighten the pressure of my hand, he gently bites my bottom lip and sucks it into his own mouth, his tongue tracing my lip erotically before he captures me once more in a full mouth kiss, teasing me relentlessly with the kind of passionate kissing I only dreamed I could enjoy. His hands slide my dress up from my thighs, one hand sliding between them to seek me out, the way I sought him out, sliding close between them until he skims the outer lace of my panties, grazing my own heat and desire.
The touch sends a million tingles sweeping through me, so tantalizingly good that my legs almost give out as heat and ache consume me. I push into him, urging his hand to explore more but he pulls back instead. Bringing his forehead to mine and stilling my hand by grabbing my wrist. I don’t want him to stop and give my emotions a chance to catch up, the consuming confused haze that is lingering nearby, only silenced by his kiss which threatens to consume me again.
‘Not here, not like this. You mean so much more to me than this.’ He pants, his voice husky and low. I have never heard him sound this way and it only makes my body vibrate more with the sheer longing to have sex with him. Arrick slides his fingers into mine, pulling me with him towards the back of The Carrero house and leads me at speed along the back wall, under the cover of bushes and overgrown roses. Glancing at me and stopping every few steps to kiss me again and run his hand under my dress and over my thigh.
Everything happens so fast. The fast-paced walk to find the back entrance and then high tailing it into the house in complete darkness while his hands and mouth are all over me and I am walking backwards within his tight embrace. The house is empty due to the fact his own family are still in my parents’ house, it’s eerily silent and illuminated only by moonlight. He stops me at the foot of the marble stairway to kiss me hard, his hands trailing over my breasts and his tongue probing my mouth sensually, pushing me into complete surrender. I groan and cling to him, seeking out his manhood through his pants and tracing him with my fingers, feeling bolder with every passing touch and kiss he lays on me, shocked at how much of him I can feel in his pants now that he is traceable.
Arrick picks me up, distracting me from the thoughts I was just having about size, wrapping my legs around his waist as before, but this time he carries me upstairs. Fast scaling the stairs, while still holding me close and keeping my mouth occupied with his, so that I don’t even realise when we reach the top in seconds.
He takes me to his bedroom amid bites and kisses along my jaw, neck and my mouth, exploring how many ways he can kiss me and always gets an instant response, adjusting to him in every way. He doesn’t seem have an end to how many variations of kiss he has perfected, and I am completely lost to him and that sensual mouth, all thoughts of anything but him on me have gone out of my head. I never imagined it would be this way with him when he finally let up and kissed me without limitation.
We get into his room amid a flurry of passionate kissing, frantic groping and the unbuttoning of clothes in a frenzy of horniness. He manages to manoeuvre me inside the door, pushing me up against the wall as he shoves it shut and continues making love to my mouth with his own. Both of us ripping off one another’s clothes, drunkenness throwing all sense and caution away and just caught up in the sheer desire to quell the burning lust between us as the room spins and sweeps around me. Arrick puts me on my feet so he can drag my dress over my head, only breaking away long enough to pull it off and coming straight back to my mouth, hand skimming my body and sending explosive tingles in every direction. He reaches round, unclips my strapless bra and slides it away, expertly tossing it aside without a second glance as his eyes stay honed on what he has just uncovered. He devours me with a look before sweeping back to capture my mouth.
His mouth finds my neck, trailing across my exposed shoulder and down to my breasts as I arch against him, his hands smoothing down to the edge of my panties and sliding them down. He stops again as he gets them low, stooping to take them off, waiting as I lift one foot at a time, extracting them fully from my ankle and the whole while I find myself just letting him do this with no sense of inhibition. It’s as though I have completely become submissive to him, no war raging inside, or sense of self preservation, just stupidly trusting him in this, because I want it more than anything and I know he will guide me gently.
Soon we are both fully naked, as he discarded his own clothes quickly, neither finding any shyness or awkwardness due to the fact neither is anywhere near sober enough to even care right now. I swear I am more drunk than I was in the garden and everything is starting to swim around me with a headiness that has me feeling a little unsteady and fragile.
My body is yearning, burning up and screaming for him, despite years of abhorring this kind of touch and I am having trouble processing the tidal waves of emotions coming at me from all angles over this. My head is torn in two, only quietening when his mouth is on mine, screaming when it’s not, that I shouldn’t be letting him back in this easily. I should be fighting him. My heads a mess, my hearts prickling and swaying one way to the other crazily and I just cannot think beyond his touch.
I want nothing but the feel of him, the way he touches me and makes me moan as his hands then mouth move to my most intimate parts as he slides down my body to his knees. I am still leaning against his bedroom wall, unsure how to behave or react when he lifts up one of my legs behind the knee and bends it up to open me to him. I obey, watching the top of his head move in against me, completely unable to do anything but breathe heavily and watch in slow motion as his mouth connects between my thighs, gasping in pleasure at a sensation I have never known before and becoming completely engulfed in the need to be joined to him. I almost convulse immediately as hot sensations course between my legs, his tongue probing and smoothing within and around me, sucking me into his mouth and making every part of me crumble. I groan out loud, grabbing his shoulder with one hand to hold my weight and using the top of his head, gripping my fingers in his hair with the other. Arricks hands are holding my legs, his mouth making me moan and wriggle in complete ecstasy.
Arrick makes me pant out and cry almost immediately, it comes upon me out of nowhere, so suddenly and so crazily responsive, clawing at his hair and shoulders as my body wracks and spasms wit
h pleasure I can only identify it as my first orgasm. I have heard enough from other girls to know that’s what this is, and I literally fall to pieces with the huge convulsion of waves and explosions that happen within me at super speed. I am pretty sure making a girl cum in under two minutes is some sort of record for any guy and whatever he just did to me only makes me want so much more. It literally blew my mind and my body is tingling with the after effects as it begins to slowly dissipate, leaving me completely breathless.
Arrick stays between my legs until the spasms subside, I realise his palm is flat on my abdomen as he was holding me to the wall as my body gave out on me, keeping his mouth in same motion throughout the convulsions before finally breaking free. I’m panting, heart racing, body sizzling and literally unable to stay standing, when he lets my leg down, I almost fall over him and feel relief when he scoops me up in his arms and carries me to the bed. I have become less than useless after what he just did to me and completely pliable under his expert hands. Laying me down on my back on the cool sheets before climbing on top of me carefully, positioning himself over me and between my legs. His mouth back on mine, I can taste what I assume is me in his mouth and I don’t know whether I should like it or be disgusted, it causes a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach and yet no sense of dislike or fear.
Arrick lifts me up under the thighs and slides me further up the bed so he is fully on me, pulling my knees up around his hips as he lowers on top of me to connect our bodies again, still kissing me, moving to my neck and breasts and back up again as he captures my mouth once more. The room is spinning wildly, my chest aching as I feel like the walls are starting to close in on me so suddenly that I just grip to his shoulders and try to focus on his face.
With him on top of me now, pushing against me, the darkness hiding his face from view now that we are no longer near the window and the light, I begin to feel unsure. Like some deep feeling that used to happen whenever men got near me begins to uncurl deep down, despite me begging it not to. The anxiety that always circles around me seems to notch a gear higher as drunkenness and realisation that I am about to have real sex hits me. I don’t know if I am ready for this, I haven’t had time to prepare and so many emotions about him are making my head ache with confusion.
Everything is swirling around us, I am still kissing him back, still sliding my arms around his neck in a bid to find his face and bring it to mine in the darkness, to see him properly and help me relax once more. I feel his hand between my thighs and arch to him in hopeless response to how good it feels, my head releasing so many conflicting thoughts and feeling as he slides his fingers inside of me. I feel the pleasure of his touch, yet at the same time the crushing weight on my chest increases and fights against my head, sending me into instant panic mode that I may have a real anxiety attack. I try to look at him, but he ducks his head to kiss my throat, sucking, nibbling, lost in his own lust fuelled haze of drunkenness and clearly only thinking of sex now that we have got to this point. I start to breathe in faster, trying to push the weight away, trying to claw back some of the control back to my brain and tell myself that he wants more than this, he won’t disregard my feelings just to satisfy an urge.
Arrick pulls his hand from between us, kissing me on the mouth, I manage to lock eyes for a mere second before I feel him slide into me, between my legs, slowly and surely, the feeling is alien, nothing like my memories of burning and pain and devastation and I inhale sharply at how new this feels. It feels completely different; easy, no pain and good, but yet, the weight that crushes in on my chest knocks the wind out of my sails, my head spinning with so many flashes and memories.
I close my eyes tight, breathing hard, clinging to him as he moves into me more, slides in so I feel like I am being filled up to my stomach and suddenly no longer able to stop this. My body starts to panic, realising how I am unable to move from under him, my body his to do with as he pleases because I let him get full control of me so effortlessly. I am trying so hard to focus on the fact it’s him, how good it feels, despite the chaos, that despite the heartache of the past months I should trust him. But I don’t, not anymore and it makes me feel afraid.
Body moving with his, in and then out slowly, finding a rhythm between us which heightens every sense and makes me pant, but my head is starting to wildly claw me away from the feel of it and into a mental agony. His face is buried in my neck, so I can’t see him, only feel him, and I try so hard to just stay tuned to how he smells, how his skin feels against mine and not fall into that pit of fear hovering beneath me.
The motion makes me claw at his shoulders and back, waves of pleasure pulsing to desperate levels but I can’t let go and relax, all I can hear is the heavy breathing, feel his weight on top of me, my head jumping back and forth to other dark rooms and places, a man who held me down and made me endure this and I am suddenly suffocating. Losing the tiny grasp I have on my reality, alcohol making this so much worse.
I turn my head to try and block it out, try to find some inner peace, but I can’t; the goodness is dying as I lose a grip on the reality of my surroundings and instead fear, and panic are gripping my insides so that I am no longer pulling him to me but pushing instead. Arricks face finds my neck, oblivious to the torment going through my skull as he pushes faster and harder into me, groaning as he does so, and I just can’t take it anymore. It feels like he has disconnected from me, that he’s inside me, but all he wants is the end goal, to fuck me and leave me here like the broken mess I was when I met him. I know none of that makes sense, but I can’t help it, I’m losing control of all of it and I am left open and vulnerable with another man who only wants to get inside of me. He is as good as holding me down this way and I let him. I stupidly let him have me in every way to do with and use as he pleases until there is nothing left of me.
He hurt me, he left me, and now he won’t even look at me as he uses my body like a dirty whore.
‘I can’t ….. Breathe….No…. NO!.’ I gasp out in panic, fingers clawing his shoulder and pushing him up, tears finding my cheeks and losing all sense of sanity as my head gets lost between memories, and I no longer know where I am. Darkness overtakes me with one lasts weep of chaotic fear and I lash out at the evil that is trying to break me.
* * *
‘Sophie… Sophie? Look at me, come back to me.’ His soft voice brings me back to my senses and I realise my legs are closed, my tense body held rigid and curled up, he’s not inside me anymore and somehow, I am being cradled in his arms. Beside him and gasping for breath, his arms around my upper body as he holds me tight against him and strokes the hair back from my tear stained face.
‘Just breathe, slow and steady. You’re safe, it’s me, it’s Arry…. You’re safe with me.’ I zone back in, realising I am gripping his arm with deadly intent, my nails digging in, yet he doesn’t seem to care. My face is soaked, and I am so dizzy I can barely get my head together. I don’t know where I went, or for how long I went there, but the taste of blood in my mouth shocks me and I feel confused and scared. My whole body trembling with waves of cold rushing through me.
‘Where? What? .... I .. I.’ I don’t even know what I am trying to say, breathing hard and realising I am in still in his bed, surrounded by him with a sheet over us. Not in a dirty room far away with a mattress on the floor. His nose against my cheek as he soothes me, trailing fingers down my cheeks, still trying to hold me still so I calm down in his embrace.
‘Shhhhh, it’s okay. I’m not going to do anything to you baby. Just calm down and relax, Breathe Sophie. I stopped, I’m not going to do anything to you, I promise.’ Arricks voice calms me a little, his arms around me, holding me steady and bringing back so many warm and calm feelings from the familiarity to him. How many times he has gotten me through my attacks, my fears and my nightmare memories. I turn on my side away from him further and curl up smaller in a bid to feel safer. The pose of my childhood after many a time my body had been used and discarded. Arrick cradles me close, his
breath against the back of my head and his heat surrounding me, like a balm to everything.
‘I’m so dizzy.’ I cry quietly, unsure how to even explain what just happened, or why I am even crying. Not knowing why I even have blood in my mouth; I suck in my lip and realise I have cut it, the little lumps along the inner edge of my lip feel like a bite mark and I realise this is what I used to do to myself back then. When I was trying to close off my brain to what was being done to me.
‘Just close your eyes and sleep. I’m right here. No one’s going to hurt you, never ever again. I will always protect you Sophie.’ Arrick softly soothes me again, his face leaning against the back of my skull and lulling me back to how many times I used his arms as my haven. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, calming myself as fatigue hits me hard, still trembling yet finding comfort quickly.
‘I thought you were him. I couldn’t see you. Where did you go?’ I say hazily, my head coming around in a circle as a flash of memory reminds me of where I was a moment ago. Arricks arms tighten around me, I feel his mouth over my temple as he kisses me softly. Brushing the hair from my face again, like he always did.
‘I was right here, always right here. I’m sorry baby, I never knew you hadn’t done this… I always assumed with the men you dated….’ Arrick trails off, his voice ravaged with emotion and I can only shake my head as sleepiness overtakes my brain.
‘Never let any….. Because I’m broken. No one wants a broken girl.’ I cry a little softly, sleep taking over despite emotion trying its hardest to consume me and I feel like I am lost in a dreamlike state, his body around me is all I feel as I begin to slip away into darkness once more, only this time it’s from emotional exhaustion and I want it to take me.
‘I do….. I always have Sophie.’ Arricks voice is the last thing I hear before darkness relieves me from everything.
The Carrero Heart_The Journey_Arrick and Sophie Page 9
