Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 1

by Hirukuma,

  First off, I’d like to meet an intelligent human or a monster, but all I can do is wait. I can’t use any more points than this. I just have to wait…for someone to show up.

  Three days have passed. Nobody has come, though several times I saw the frog people watching me from afar.

  Instead of physically trembling at the fact that I was nearing death’s door with every passing second, my vending machine body made a high-pitched squeal. It’s how my body relieves tension, I’m sure.

  Sigh. I just want to sell something, to be a vending machine one time before I die. I’ve gone through this whole reincarnation business, and I want to play the part once.

  “C-can’t go on… I’m so hungry, I can’t move… Aaaaah, why does this always happen to me…?”

  That… That’s a person’s voice! God hasn’t forsaken me after all!

  It sounds like a depressed girl, and probably someone young. Where is she? Where did that voice come from?!

  I’ve been doubting whether my words make any sense to others here, but if I understand hers, she should know what I’m saying if I call it out. I have all kinds of sarcastic thoughts regarding why Japanese works here even though this is a different world, but that doesn’t matter right now.

  My life is riding on this.

  “Everyone I team up with abandons me… I guess the Blessing of Might doesn’t mean much when I’m so clumsy…”

  The voice is a bit clearer now, so she has to be coming this way. The girl sounds miserable, like she’s completely out of options. Did her comrades abandon her? With all the frog people swarming around here, wouldn’t that be dangerous?

  “I dropped the bag with all my food when I was running away, too… My stomach feels like it’s eating itself… Ugh, this is the worst… Ma, Pa, I ain’t gonna make it!”

  Then she starts crying. The last part she muttered seemed like she spoke it in a Kansai accent. It sounded exactly like someone who had left their home in the countryside only to have their dreams shattered.

  But why did she come here in the first place? There are monsters all over. Is she traveling, or is there a town or village somewhere nearby?

  “I never should’ve become a hunter. I’m sorry, Ma, Pa!”

  Hunter? Does she go out stalking animals? If this were a certain game, it would mean a familiar monster-hunting profession. Then again, I have seen frog people wandering around in this world. I can’t discard the possibility.

  “Nothing to eat, either. What do I do? Maybe I can kill the frog fiends and eat them… No, I won’t be able to land any by myself, and I’m too hungry to move!”

  She said she has the Blessing of Might, so maybe she’s confident in her strength but can’t handle her weapon very well. Her dexterity must be low.

  Without any bags on her, it seems unlikely that she’s carrying any money. H-hmm. I still don’t understand, but my anticipation has mostly deflated.

  “Wait, what’s that thing? A monument? But it looks metal.”

  Oh, she noticed me. Judging by her voice, she’s pretty close by, but I can’t tell what she looks like from behind. Come around in front.

  A girl appears from behind me, though I don’t know whether my mental request had anything to do with it.

  “Wh-what is this? Its edges are super straight. Are those…drinks behind the glass?”

  The short girl cocks her head in wonder. Her blond hair is tied up to the side—is this hairstyle called a side ponytail?

  She’s just over five feet tall, with big eyes and sharp features. Her style is more cute than pretty. She has a certain charm that would probably make her insanely popular if she became an idol or something.

  Her nervousness and teary eyes stirred my protective instincts. What the hell? Am I a pervert? A-anyway, putting that aside, her clothes are grabbing my attention, too.

  Her shoes look like mountain-climbing boots, and she has on black tights and blue shorts. These don’t seem too odd, but the rest of her outfit is stranger.

  Her top resembles those bulletproof vests that police officers wear at dangerous scenes… Actually, it must be leather armor. She has shoulder pads and is equipped with sturdy-looking gloves, too.

  This is an outfit straight out of a fantasy book. After giving her a once-over, I spot a small bag fastened to her belt. The kind that valuables or money are often stored in.

  “There’s water here, but how do I get it out? Those look like letters written on it, but I can’t read them.”

  She can understand spoken words but not written letters? That’s a problem that’ll need solving before we even reach the buying part. I’ll have to guide her somehow.

  “Could I get them if I break the glass? But it seems like such a waste to break it.”

  “Welcome.”

  “Wh-what was that voice?!”

  Now she’s looking around. Her scared but wary reaction is kind of adorable.

  Anyway, if I let her get away, I’ll lose everything. Time to get right to the point.

  “Insert coins.”

  “Eh?! Did this metal box just talk? Coins, as in, like, money?”

  I want to answer her questions, but unfortunately, I can only speak in set phrases.

  Sorry, but please figure it out yourself. My future existence depends on this.

  “U-um, I wonder if a copper coin is enough. Oh, but it probably needs at least a bronze coin…or if a silver isn’t enough, then maybe it actually needs a gold…? But I don’t have any coins that valuable.”

  Does that mean this world uses copper, bronze, silver, and gold coins? It sounds like there are coins of even greater value, but anyway, I don’t know what the conversion rate from these coins to yen is. If I have to guess from my first impression, maybe a copper coin is worth about ten yen.

  “Insert… Where should I put the money? Here’s a thin hole, and here’s a clear lid with a box-shaped space inside it. One of these?”

  I can’t tell if she’s the type to let her guard down or if she’s just incredibly pure-hearted. This girl is standing on pins and needles in this strange situation, but she’s still earnestly trying to pay. Her personality doesn’t seem too suited to a rough-and-tumble lifestyle. Regardless, I’m mainly thankful to have my first customer.

  That’s right; just put it into that thin hole there. You’re all set—go for it!

  The sound of a clattering coin rings through my body, and I can tell a foreign object has entered. It looks like a copper coin, but if I can get some points with it…

  [Currency mismatch. You may accept these coins if you acquire the Currency-Exchange feature.]

  For real? You know, I think I’ve seen that one before. J-just hang on a minute. Uhhh, it was around here… There it is! It only costs one hundred points!

  “Oh, I guess a copper coin didn’t work. Huh? There are some numbers over here… Ten? Um, if one copper adds ten, then maybe that’s related to the numbers under the items. They have one thousand written on them…” She grunts. “So these are one silver. I could eat a whole dinner with one silver…”

  Huh? Did the price displays change when I did the currency exchange? Does that mean one copper coin is worth ten yen? A silver is one thousand yen, which is how much it costs to purchase corn soup or milk tea. Wait, why not just keep them at one hundred, then? H-how can I change that?

  “B-but I have to make sacrifices to get out of this mess. And I’m really hungry. Money doesn’t mean much if I die here. O-okay, leggo!”

  That last part was in her accent again. This girl must slip into it when she’s excited and can’t calm down.

  She inserts her coin, and I feel a surge of excitement burn through my body. Great—that was enough. Now pick something!

  “These glowing bumps must be how you buy an item… W-well then, um, I guess I’ll go with the one with the picture of soup on it.”

  Since people here can’t read Japanese, it’s best to stick with items that are identifiable with a glance. I’ll have to remember that.<
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  Trembling slightly, the girl presses the CORN SOUP button, and the appropriate can falls into the compartment.

  “Whoa, what was that?! Something made a noise down there!”

  With much trepidation, she peers into the compartment.

  That’s it. You’re right. Now gather your courage and take it out.

  “Do I have to stick my hand in? It’s not going to eat me if I do, will it?”

  I won’t. Just take it already. This corn soup is from a maker I personally recommend. It goes without saying that the taste is great, but I prefer this brand because of how they made the soup.

  Everyone who’s had canned corn soup knows that there are always kernels of corn left over inside. This manufacturer put a lot of thought into how to stop that from happening—and came up with a solution.

  Other manufacturers have also made the drinking hole bigger. But this one was the first to discard the pull-tab type of can and use a bottle can instead. And by making the lip of the container even bigger, people could enjoy every last bit of corn.

  “Oh, got it,” she says, coming out of her accent again. “It’s so warm! Um, should I twist this lid like a bottle to open it? Here goes nothing. Whoa! It smells so good!”

  You bet it does. With how big the opening is, the aroma hits you all at once, tickling your nostrils. How many times have I craved it during the colder seasons?

  After opening the cap, she puts the bottle can to her mouth and tilts it a little. Immediately, her eyes shoot open, and she takes a big gulp.

  “Ahhhhh, that’s so good! What in the world is this? This is leagues better than the places I go to for food!”

  Whoa, she drank it all at once. She licks off the soup stuck around the can’s lip, then makes an expression of pure bliss. Damn, why am I so happy? I’m a lucky vending machine to have someone enjoy herself so much.

  She sighs. “It’s all gone now. If this one was so delicious, the others have got to be great, too. The clear one must be water, and the light-brown liquid in that cup… I’ve gotta try that, too. Yup.”

  Oh, she put more silver coins in. Afterward, having taken quite a liking to the milk tea, she buys three more cans of corn soup and a bottle of water.

  In total, I earned 6,300 yen—or 6 silvers and 30 coppers. After converting, it comes out to 63 points. This price setting seems like it’ll do fine even if I leave it.

  As though filling her heart and body with soup eased all her tension, the hunter leans her back against me and goes to sleep. She’s utterly defenseless like this, but she’s also a precious customer. I’ll be sure to protect you with Force Field, so rest easy.

  Come to think of it, the empty cans and bottles disappeared after she bought them. I’ve even got garbage disposal covered. A vending machine that’s doing its part to keep this other world clean.

  Vending Machine on the Move

  “Fwah? Oh, did I fall asleep? It’s a good thing no monsters showed up.”

  The girl, now awake, puts a hand to her chest and sighs in relief. And her chest—despite how short she is and how young her features are—is incredible. Her leather armor is keeping it in check, but her cleavage is still perfectly visible when looking down at her from above.

  “That cost a lot of money, but my stomach’s full and I feel much better. Thanks a ton!”

  She bows deeply to me, the vending machine. What a nice girl. I’m the one who should be thanking you. Your money is what gave me more points.

  “Thank you.”

  I’m so glad someone is giving a vending machine such praise. I can say this much at least, to show my appreciation.

  “Huh? Oh, yes. Y-you’re welcome,” she stammers. “Um, can you talk?”

  I want to answer, but I can’t. The struggle is real. If I had a body, I’d be writhing in agony. Isn’t there anything I can do to communicate my thoughts, my feelings?

  “Um, maybe you can only say certain things? I have a friend. She invents items with magic in them. Her name is Hulemy. Oh, wait, I haven’t even introduced myself yet. I’m Lammis.”

  I see, I see. I’ll be sure to remember. My first customer’s name is Lammis. Okay, I won’t forget.

  “Anyway, she’s been trying to invent something. She’s researching how to seal a voice inside an object and then get it back out. She was wondering if she could make automatic versions of those people who call out for you to come to their shops. You kind of resemble that. If you meet her, I’d like it if you said something to her—anything at all.”

  Oh, this is my biggest chance yet to communicate! This kid must be pretty sharp. I’ve never been so thankful to be wrong.

  “Welcome.”

  “Whoa. You understand me! When Hulemy finds out, she’ll be so excited. Oh, I got it! If it’s okay with you, can you say ‘welcome’ when you mean yes? And what should the word for no be?”

  What a fantastic idea. Just being able to say yes and no changes the world. Of course I’m more than okay with this.

  “Too bad.”

  “Pfft. Is that what you’ll say when you mean no?”

  “Welcome.”

  “That was yes. Okay, got it. Um…can you say your name or anything?”

  I want to answer, but I can’t. I hope one day I can talk to her fluently. “Too bad.”

  “You can’t say your name? That really is too bad. Oh, right! Why are you here? Are you on an important mission?”

  “Too bad.”

  “Hmm, what should I ask you? I was just wondering, but…do you get lonely?”

  Wait, how would she know something like that? Can Lammis sense this because of a Blessing or something—like being able to understand an inanimate object’s emotions?

  “Welcome.”

  “I thought so. For some reason you looked real lonely standing by the lake. I thought maybe it was just me, though.”

  Did I really seem that mournful? I mean, she’s right—a single vending machine sitting on an empty lakeside is a pretty sad sight.

  “Hey, would it be better if you were in a different place?”

  “Welcome.”

  “Oh, I see! Then, if it’s okay with you, do you want to leave here and go see Hulemy? I think she’ll be able to talk to you.”

  “Welcome.”

  That would be great, but I don’t think there’s any way for me to move. It’s not like she’s going to carry me. There’s no way one person can carry a whole vending machine by themselves.

  “Okay! That’s good. I was nervous about asking because I thought it might bother you. Okay, then. Excuse me for a moment!”

  Wait, she’s squatting down. What’s she doing? Hugging me? She must have turned into quite the vending machine maniac herself. A comrade has appeared!

  “Hup, ho!”

  Wh-what? Wait, my body’s floating. Hold on a second. Why can this little girl lift me? I must weigh over a thousand pounds!

  “You’re a little heavy, but I think I can carry you. One, two!”

  Ohhh, we’re moving! She’s walking slowly, but wow, Lammis is amazing. Is this because of that Blessing of Might thing? Her fingers are sticking into me a fair bit, but I can’t possibly ask for more now that she’s carrying me.

  Oh, the lake’s getting farther away. It was only a few days, but I’ve been staring at this scenery ever since coming to this world. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attached to it.

  Filled with a flood of emotions, I mentally bow to her in gratitude.

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m going to take a little break here. Oh, and maybe buy one of those bottles with the thick yellow soup. I’m hungry again.”

  Lammis, who has been walking with me in her arms for close to two hours now, sets me down gently behind a giant boulder on a weed-infested grassy plain.

  “I wonder if meeting you brought me good luck. We haven’t run into any frog fiends at all, even though this is their turf.”

  I don’t think that’s quite accurate. We haven’t run into any battles
yet, but I’ve spotted the frog people in the distance several times, watching warily. Maybe word of me got to their friends and they’re all being cautious.

  Hmm, did she say she’s hungry? Corn soup alone doesn’t fill up the stomach that much. Don’t I have something more filling?

  I have 268 points remaining, so I look over the list of items I can substitute for ten. It hurts to spend them right now, but Lammis will be taking care of me for a bit. I want to do what I can to help.

  It should be something high in calories with good texture, right? Sweet red bean soup might be good. It’s sweet, which seems like it would be popular with girls. Oh, wait—I heard once that foreigners don’t like red bean paste very much. Apparently, it resembles mud too much.

  Which means I need something else. Hamburgers and cup ramen are options, but I’d need to add on a special function to bring those out. Considering how low I’m running on points at the moment, that’s a lot to ask.

  Something you can eat from a can… Oh, there is one thing. It’s a regional specialty, too. Wait, stocking this costs thirty points, huh? Ahhh, I really wanted to offer cans of oden stew, too. Well, now I know more expensive products cost more points to exchange.

  For now, I want to conserve as many points as I can. I’ll keep things on the cheap side and not force the matter.

  Would that mean something priced one thousand yen, or one silver coin, is better? Oh, I forgot about snacks. Some of them would need special functions, but there is one particular snack that’s ever so occasionally lined up next to carbonated drinks in regular vending machines. It’s shaped like a can, so it’s probably easy to stock.

  Hmm… There we are. Unlike regular potato chips, the potatoes in these are molded and pressed, then put into a tube. I’ll switch one of my mineral waters out for it.

  “Eek! Th-that scared me. Something glowed… Wait, are the items different now? What’s this red tube? The picture on it shows a stack of thin, round things. Is it food?”