Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 1

by Hirukuma,

  The ramparts were just stacks of logs, so I underestimated things. Either way, the most important thing is that the settlement’s people are safe. The buildings are in ruins, but at least they made it out with their lives.

  I’m not planning on sugarcoating it by saying they can just rebuild what was lost. Houses are investments and, at the same time, treasure chests filled with the memories of daily life. At the very least, as someone who’s never lost everything before, it’s not my place to tell the survivors that they should be happy to simply be alive.

  Even so, I’m glad they survived. I’ve been living here for only a scant few weeks, but I truly hope in my heart that nobody dies—not the customers who come to me every day, nor the people who merely pass me by. Since I’ve died once before…

  “Well, we got all sorts of wreckage now. But it was bad three years ago, too. That’s why the wall around the gate seems so flimsy, you know.”

  The settlement was damaged three years ago, too? That explains all the tents being in the other area, while the larger buildings stand here. The people here are hardier than I thought.

  “Lammy! Welcome back!”

  “Phew. I thought we were done for this time. Today’s been quite the day. Lammis, you’re not hurt, are you?”

  The iron doors have burst open, and several people are coming out. The old couple and the young merchant, my regulars, are among them. Suori, the rambunctious young lady with the twin-tails, looks all right, too. Her black-suited bodyguards are by her side.

  Others I’ve seen several times before are also present. Finally feeling like we can mark an end to this string of events, I mentally give a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you.”

  I didn’t intend to say anything like that, but I’m not sure it was a mistake, either. This time for certain, it looks like we can rest easy.

  “Boy. Now that we’re out of the woods, I’m hungry. Boxxo, I’ll have some of that strange water that makes you less tired.”

  “I’ll have the sweet tea.”

  “I think I’ll have the urengi juice. Lammy, Mom, do you want some, too?”

  “Yes, that sounds good.”

  “Sure, thanks!”

  Karios wants a sports drink, Gorth wants milk tea, and Munami, Lammis, and the mistress want orange juice. Coming right up—and it’s my treat today, you little thieves!

  “Oh, why, Boxxo is here, honey.”

  “You don’t need to hit me. I can see it. I’ll have the usual water. You want the yellow soup, right, honey?”

  “I’ll have some of the sweet tea, too. Oh, Munami, I didn’t see you there. What a coincidence!”

  Fine, the three of you come to me every morning, so you get a gift, too!

  “Hey, Boxxo’s here right when we need him. I’ll have some of that cloudy white pasta.”

  “I think I’ll take some of the kind with the brown on top.”

  “Hmm, which should I have?”

  One customer after another crowds around me. Ah, fine then. Normally, I’d be ecstatic at the roaring business, but today I’m leaving my earnings out of the equation. For tonight only, I’m giving away everything for free, dammit!

  I’ve stocked sake, beer, cocktails, and even other alcohol like shochu with tonic, too. We’re having a party tonight, you lot!

  …This might cause me many difficulties in the future, but I can’t lend them any arms or legs, so I’d like them to accept these gifts instead. This is about all I can do—I’ll still be living here as a member of the settlement after all this.

  After that, once everyone finished counting the survivors, and those who could no longer live in their homes had their things brought to the Hunters Association, the great feast of drinking and singing began.

  The main dish was two-headed snake, and nobody was too nervous to bite into it, whether boiled or fried. How should I put this—the people in this world are wild. I never had the chance to eat snake in Japan, but seeing the meat glisten with fat, it does look delicious.

  When people realized my products were free, even those who had never bought anything congregated to me. I’ve had to refill several times. The new alcoholic items were flying off the shelves, and many were buying pressed potato chips and oden with the drinks as a snack. It looks like sports drinks will be a hit tomorrow for the people who drank too much. I’ll get some shijimi clam miso soup for their inevitable hangovers, too. Heh-heh-heh-heh. It’ll be free for only tonight, you lot. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be raking in the cash.

  “Boxxo, I been drinking.”

  And now I’m mixed up with a drunk. Lammis, completely intoxicated, leans against me and sits on the floor. In Japan, this wouldn’t be legally kosher, but it seems like this world has a low drinking age. Several other hunters who don’t look any older than high school kids are freely drinking, too.

  Lammis’s face has gotten completely soft, and her smile stretches from ear to ear. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen such a happy drunk.

  “Ever since going hunting, we’ve been doing, like…a lot of work. But it’s really, uh, fulfilling, huh?”

  “Welcome.”

  Yeah, I agree. It was a terribly fierce battle; the fact that not a single person died means that everyone in the settlement, not just the hunters, is proficient at surviving. They didn’t make their home on a monster-filled stratum for nothing.

  All the people here, unlike normal villagers and townspeople, live side by side with danger. If I’d been reincarnated as the same exact person, I’m not sure I could have lived even a few days… Maybe it was actually the mercy of some god to give me a new life as a vending machine.

  “I’m pretty happy. And I’m glad about everyone being alive and stuff, too, but…”

  She’s slurring heavily in her accent now. Her eyes seem set to close at any second. Mere moments away from falling asleep—but she’s managing to hold herself back, just barely. She should just let herself fall asleep already.

  “After we got back here, everyone was all, like, running to Boxxo, and that made me reeeeally happy—like, really, really happy… Zzz.”

  Okay, there she goes.

  That’s what you were thinking about, Lammis? She’s such a warm, kind person. If I’d met a girl like her in Japan, I might have seriously fallen in love with her.

  Good night, Lammis. I’ll see you again tomorrow.

  Reconstruction Work

  Hello. It’s your friendly neighborhood vending machine. My home has moved from the front of the inn to outside the Hunters Association HQ.

  Munami and the mistress were out the door bright and early this morning. Ah yes—I hear they’re going to clear away all the rubble that used to be their inn and then rebuild it.

  It would appear that inns are essential for settlements like this. The Hunters Association has stated they will be covering the expenses. Munami and the mistress were acting in a somewhat scary manner, laughing and suggesting they’d build a much grander inn than before.

  Okay, all this formal-ese is tiring me out.

  I want to turn over a new leaf as well, bracing myself for the trials ahead, but doing things you’re not used to doesn’t usually go well.

  I ended up squandering my funds away yesterday, but starting today, I’m back in business. I’ve already sold a good deal of items so far.

  Since early this morning, drunks have appeared in front of me, swaying like zombies, and my items sold one after another. A large portion of the people who bought something today—after getting a taste last night, since it was free—seem to have become regulars, and now I can’t stop laughing about it… Everything’s going according to plan!

  As soon as Lammis woke up, Director Bear called for her, and she hustled inside the headquarters. If opinions of her have changed because of the recent expedition, that would be a happy thing.

  Cup ramen has been selling steadily since this morning, thanks to people having lost their cooking gear, as well as those who partied too hard last nig
ht and can’t find the energy to cook.

  To be honest, if everyone was financially burdened, I would have lowered the cup ramen prices, prepared to take a loss on them, but it seems like everyone living here had been prepared for their homes to be destroyed at any given moment, and most of their money was stored safely with the Hunters Association.

  The merchants are hard at work with their businesses, too, having foreseen an influx of hunters coming here for construction and guard jobs. The residents here really are brimming with vitality.

  “Boxxo! I got a request directly from the director. Isn’t that cool?!”

  “Welcome.”

  You’re moving up in the world, kid. But I can guess what the request is.

  “And listen to this—it’s to clear away rubble!”

  I thought so! Anyone aware of her Might would figure that out.

  It’s the perfect place for her to put her strength, which rivals heavy construction equipment, to good use. Employing too much force and destroying things wouldn’t be a problem, either, so the job is a relief despite her low dexterity.

  “First he wants me to make the place the inn used to be into a vacant lot. Because they want to build a new one right away.”

  If a lot of people are going to be coming here, the inn has to come first. A crowd of simple tents are set up in front of the association headquarters, but I’m sure everyone will want to have a good rest in a proper inn.

  Does that mean I’ll be heading back to my regular spot?

  Lammis carries me over in front of the former inn. The mistress and Munami are already working on clearing things away. They’re both in their inn uniforms, but it looks like they’re wearing work pants underneath their skirts. I feel like they might as well ditch the skirts in that case, but they’re probably in the dress code.

  “Munamiii, Miiiistress, I came to help!”

  “Oh, Lammis, you’re here. Now we have the strength of a hundred men. Boxxo came with you, too? Good morning!”

  “Welcome.”

  I dearly wish I could say “Good morning” and “Good evening.” Everyone’s used to it, though, so they interpret my words as a regular greeting.

  “Um, so we just have to put the debris in that cart and then bring it outside the gate. The people there will separate it into burnable and nonburnable.”

  “Oh, I see. Then once the cart’s full, I’ll carry it to them. Boxxo, you stay here and sell drinks and things to everyone, okay?”

  “Welcome.”

  She places me in my usual spot, which sets me at ease for some reason.

  Oh, look at all the people flowing in. They all look young, and several I recognize from the hunt. Are the younger hunters going to be helping with removing the debris?

  “Hey, found the site. And check it out—the box with a mind of its own is here, too. Lucky us!”

  “Oh, you’re right. Now we can get good food and drinks whenever we want!”

  “We’re getting a good reward for these reconstruction jobs, so we can use it like crazy.”

  I’m happy you’re happy. Sports drinks look like they’ll be good sellers for a while. I’ll stock a lot of them so they stand out.

  Anyway, I suppose I’ll watch everyone work.

  These guys aren’t hunters for nothing; even the youngsters who have come to help are doing a great job. The mistress and Munami aren’t doing any less than they are, either. I’ve heard them talk about how their jobs at the inn are heavy labor, and I can see it now.

  But Lammis is outdoing them all by leaps and bounds. She easily plucks up a support beam that would take three of them together to lift and brings it over to the cart.

  Whenever something is too big to carry, she uses punches and kicks to break it down into more manageable pieces. The hunters watching her are dumbfounded. I don’t blame them. Considering the gap between her cute, tiny stature and her incredible strength… I’d blame them for not being surprised.

  “It’s full now, so I’ll go dump it. Hup, ho!”

  The cart is made for one of those horned boars—a buar—or a horselike animal to carry, but it poses no problem for her Might, and she carries it off like it’s nothing.

  The hunters stare in awe as she shrinks into the distance.

  “That girl’s amazing. But we can’t lose to her.”

  “That’s her Blessing’s power, right? Even so, she’s incredible.”

  “Once we get to a break in the reconstruction, I’d want to invite her to our team, but I’m sure someone like that is already part of a famous one.”

  I’ve been listening into their conversation, and it sounds like they think highly of Lammis. She definitely looks like a talented hunter just by the way she works. I get it—I really do. But the fact is that she has no hunter friends. For the moment, she seems to be on good terms with the people living in the settlement, but I don’t think she’s had a real hunter-related conversation with anyone other than the director and that Fools’ whatever.

  Previously, she was just spinning her wheels since she had too much strength, and those she formed parties with treated her like a hindrance. Simple brute-force jobs like this are right up her alley. Of course, had the hunters’ requests mainly been like this as well, they might have viewed her differently.

  “I’m back! Time to work like crazy!”

  I thought as much, since Lammis is kicking up dust in her wake as she approaches from the distance, but without anything on her, she’s fairly quick footed. Unfortunately, without a suitable burden on her back, her body is too light for her to move the way she wants.

  She’s grumbled about it before—without something weighing her down, she feels like running is more like jumping around, and it doesn’t feel good. Her gloves are fitted with iron plates, too, to manage their weight. She’s always needed to control her movement on a regular basis, and due to not being able to move around the way she wants, mistakes are common, which leads to others treating her poorly. I think that’s the reason.

  She apparently trained under a considerably skilled hunter, too, but that person is in the middle of a journey. She’s talked fondly about having had to carry a jug full of water for two whole months.

  “Yo, hard at work, I see. Lammis, Boxxo, what’s up?”

  Now that they’ve worked up a decent sweat, someone has shown up with sleepy eyes and a great big yawn—Stubble, aka Captain Kerioyl.

  That Wild West–style ten-gallon hat must be his favorite. He kept it on even while camping, didn’t he? He has skills, for certain, but I sense something fishy in his eyes when he looks at me sometimes, so I honestly can’t get rid of my impression of him as a guy I can’t completely trust.

  “H-hey, isn’t that guy the captain of the Menagerie of Fools?”

  “You mean the best member on that team of hunters?”

  “I wonder if he’ll shake my hand later.”

  In their excitement, the busy young hunters drop what they’re doing.

  What? Captain Kerioyl is a celebrity? He’s certainly competent, and it did look like his teammates were attached to him—but he’s apparently a popular guy, too. Is the dubiously named Menagerie of Fools a household name among hunters?

  “Hey, looks like everyone’s working hard. This old man’s got a bribe to offer you youngsters. Pick anything you want from Boxxo. My treat. That goes for the fine ladies over there, too.”

  Yeesh. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone speak so smugly in real life. I can’t tell if he’s serious or playing around, but whichever the case, he makes me uncomfortable.

  The young hunters are making a stir, but Lammis, Munami, and the mistress don’t bat an eye. They just stand there calmly.

  “He’s going to treat us. Then I’ll have…this one and this one.”

  “Lammy, you’re supposed to buy the most expensive ones first.”

  “Then I’ll take the one with the boiled food in it as a snack. A hundred of them.”

  Th-those two have no mercy. They run an
inn, so they must be used to dealing with people like him.

  “Th-that’s a little much. Can I ask you to keep it to one or two things?”

  Captain Kerioyl is grimacing as he looks into his coin pouch. That’s good—keep going. He looks like you can push him around at first…but even with his sleepy, lax expression, the eyes peeking out from under his hat brim have a sharpness that ruins that impression.

  “Lammis, you interested in joining our party? And Boxxo, too, of course.”

  As lightly as asking a friend if they want to grab lunch, he has clapped down onto Lammis’s shoulders and blurted something incredible.

  He’s chosen the direct approach instead of beating around the bush. How does Lammis plan to answer him? Judging by the envy on the hunters’ faces, it must be a fair honor for this group—the Menagerie of Fools—to invite someone.

  “What? No thanks,” she replies immediately, brushing his hands off her shoulders. Well done. I’m so proud of you.

  As though he didn’t think she’d turn him down, his eyes boggle and his jaw drops. Oh, and your trademark hat is crooked there.

  “I…I see. W-well, give it some thought. I’ll be waiting for you to change your mind. Anyway, I’ll buy some water from Boxxo. This hangover is killing me…”

  “You’re Too bad.”

  Hey, your hat’s about to fall off.

  Gold and Silver Coins

  Captain Kerioyl left looking pretty bummed out.

  If you ask me, I think refusing was the right choice. The Menagerie of Fools may be a famous team, but joining would mean more fighting. I know that even being a lone hunter means you’re side by side with danger. But right now, rather than being tossed around in a group of powerhouses, I think—one-sidedly anyway—that she should hunker down and work on her abilities.

  Anyway, that’s only my opinion. Why did Lammis actually refuse, though? That’s a mystery to me.

  “Hey, you, why did you turn down an invitation to the Menagerie of Fools?!”