Only Her

by Allie Everhart

  “Okay,” I say to Michael, motioning him to the door.

  As we walk down the narrow street, I describe the architecture of the old buildings and the history of the town. I know everything there is to know about this place after living here for so long. If we had more tourists, I actually could give tours.

  “You know your history,” he says as we’re walking back. “You should be working in a museum, not a restaurant.”

  If he only knew. Maybe he’ll remember this and tell Pearce.

  “Actually, I studied history back in college. I even have a graduate degree in it.”

  “Where did you go to grad school?”

  “Hirshfield College.” I’m nervous just saying it. This is the first time I’ve told anyone the truth about me since I got here. But I need to give him details. Details he can give Pearce.

  “In New Haven?” he asks.

  “Yes. Do you someone who went there?”

  “The daughter of one of my business associates goes there. She’s a freshman. So if you have a history degree, why aren’t you giving tours at a museum? I heard you speaking Italian earlier. It sounds like you’re fluent in it.”

  “I am, but I really wanted to live in this town and, as you can see, it doesn’t have any museums. Besides, I studied American History in college.”

  “Are you from Connecticut?”

  “No. I grew up on a farm in Indiana, in a really small town. About the only thing there is a country bar.” I know this guy would never remember the town’s name, so I mentioned the country bar where Pearce and I went, hoping it might be something he’ll remember to tell Pearce.

  “Do you ever go back there?”

  “No. My parents died in a car accident so it’s not really home anymore.”

  I need to tell him something else. These are all facts he could’ve just looked up. I need to tell him something that will get Pearce’s attention. Because I can’t just come out and tell this man who I am. For one, he probably wouldn’t believe me. Everyone thinks I’m dead. And if did believe me, he’d probably tell the media, and then Holton would order his men to kill me before anyone could save me. Even if I instructed Michael to only tell Pearce, and no one else, I don’t trust that he’d listen to me. I just met this man and I don’t trust him enough to tell him the truth. I’m almost certain he’d tell the media and then I’d be dead. So I can’t tell him who I am. But I can give him clues to give Pearce.

  We’re almost back at the restaurant. I need to come up with something else to say. Something only Pearce would know.

  “I’m sorry about your parents,” Michael says. “Do you have any other family back home?”

  “No, but I have a close friend that I’d love to see again. I haven’t talked to him in years.”

  “You should call him.”

  “I would, but he’s married now, and his wife gets extremely jealous if a woman calls, even if it’s just an old friend.” I stop walking and so does he. “Is there any way you could maybe call him just to tell him I said hello? I think he’d get a kick out of hearing that you ran into me in this tiny town in Italy.”

  I take a few steps back, worried there might be microphones hidden outside the restaurant.

  “Um, I don’t know,” he says. “He might find that rather odd, having a stranger calling him.”

  “You could just say that we’re friends. I know we just met, but we’re fellow Americans and I served you breakfast and gave you a tour, which kind of makes us friends, right?”

  He smiles. “I suppose it does. So what is this man’s name?” He gets his phone out.

  “No.” I cover his phone with my hand. “Don’t put it in there.”

  If Holton’s men are watching and see this man typing something into his phone, they’ll get suspicious.

  Michael’s holding his phone, giving me a strange look.

  I smile. “What I mean is that you don’t need to write it down. His name is Pearce Kensington.”

  He slides his phone into his pants pocket. “Are you talking about THE Pearce Kensington? The CEO of Kensington Chemical?”

  “Yes, that’s the one. So you know who he is?”

  “Of course. Everyone in the business world does. I’ve heard him speak at conferences many times. He’s an excellent speaker. And a brilliant businessman.”

  My heart soars hearing him talk about Pearce. This is the closest I’ve felt to him in years. It’s like I’m connecting with him through this man.

  “Can you please call him for me?”

  He laughs. “I’m afraid I can’t. Someone like Pearce Kensington wouldn’t even answer my call. I’m sure his secretary screens all his calls.”

  “Please just try. Tell him thank you for the Christmas ornament. He gave me an angel that I used to keep on the mantel after my parents died.”

  Now he’s looking at me like I’m crazy. “Um, I’m just going to get my things and head out.” He walks off.

  I catch up to him. “Please. I can’t call the U.S. from here. The infrastructure here is so dated that the phones barely work, even for local calls. Please just call him. Tell him you saw me here. Please.”

  “Yes, fine.” He says it like he’s brushing me off.

  Shit. I totally screwed this up. And they probably heard me talking and are going to punish me for doing so. Or maybe they’ll do something to this man to make sure he never talks to Pearce. Oh, God. I hope they don’t kill him. Maybe they didn’t hear us.

  Michael drops some bills on the table and gives me a quick courtesy wave as he goes out the door. He’s not going to tell Pearce. He probably thinks I don’t even know him. That I’m just some crazy woman making up stories. Dammit!

  I grab a rag and spray bottle and nervously wipe down the tables.

  “Is something wrong?” Celia asks.

  “No. I’m just cleaning up. Did you need help in the kitchen?”

  “Jill.” She holds my arm. “What’s wrong? Was it the American? Was he being inappropriate with you? Did he say something to upset you?”

  “No. Not at all. He was fine. He had to get to a meeting.”

  She watches me as I wipe down another table. She knows something’s going on with me. But I can’t tell her anything. She couldn’t help me, so why put her at risk by telling her?

  She goes back to the kitchen and I continue cleaning up out front. Michael’s car is gone now. He’ll probably never come back. And I know he’ll never tell Pearce. I had my chance to get him a message and I blew it.

  Every day, I remind myself to have hope. To stay positive. But with each passing day, that gets harder and harder to do.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  7

  GARRET

  I knock on her door. “Jade, hurry up. You’re taking too long.”

  She’s laughing as she opens the door. “What do you expect me to do? Come running the second you knock?”

  “Yes,” I say, being very serious. “That’s exactly what I expect. In fact, running isn’t fast enough. I’d prefer that you sprint to the door.”

  She shuts it behind me. “That’s not going to happen. In fact, from now on, I’m going to mosey to the door.”

  I take her hand and pull her toward me. “Do you even know how to mosey?”

  “Of course I do. I mosey all the time.”

  “I’ve never seen you mosey. Saunter, maybe, but not mosey.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, why are you here, and why are you in such a hurry?”

  I put my arms around her waist and kiss her cheek. “I’m here because it’s Saturday night, which is the night I always spend with you.” I kiss her other cheek. “And I’m not in a hurry. At least not now.”

  “Why not now?”

  “Because now I’m here with you.”

  “So you’re saying you were in a hurry to see me?” She gives me her shy smile. It’s adorable. I have to kiss her cheek again, so I do.

  “Yes. I was in a hurry to see you. I missed my best friend.”


  She tilts her head, which is also adorable. “Am I really your best friend? You have a lot of friends, Garret.”

  “Fake friends. You’re my real friend. And my best friend.”

  Jade and I are more than just friends, but she refuses to be my girlfriend. She says she’s not ready for that yet. So for now, we remain just friends. Friends who sometimes kiss. And hold hands. And flirt constantly with each other.

  “You’re my best friend too,” she says quietly, looking down.

  “I know,” I say in a cocky tone so the mood isn’t so serious.

  “Hey!” She pushes on my chest. “Watch the ego, buddy, or I’m not hanging out with you.”

  “You have to hang out with me. We have a deal. Every Saturday night. It’s tradition. Just like Sundays at Al’s Pancake House. You can’t break tradition, Jade.” I lead her to the bed and set her down on my lap. “So are you ready to go out?”

  “Go out? But we usually stay in.”

  It’s true. We usually hang out in my room and watch movies. Given that we’re in college, we should be at a party on Saturday night, but we’re not because Jade doesn’t drink and she doesn’t like being around alcohol.

  I don’t drink either. I used to, but I stopped because of Jade, but also because I was turning into an alcoholic and it scared me. I was drinking to numb the pain of losing my mom and to forget about the fights I’d have with my dad. But the alcohol wasn’t helping. My mom is dead, and I need to accept that and deal with the pain rather than numb it. As for my dad? He hates me and probably wishes he never had me, but getting drunk won’t change that or make it better.

  “I don’t want to stay in,” I say. “Let’s go out.”

  She loops her arms around my neck. “Where do you want to go?”

  “Dinner and a movie. You can pick the movie.”

  “But it’s only 4:30. That’s too early for dinner.”

  “Then we’ll go to the mall first.”

  “The mall? We’ve never gone to the mall.”

  “Then we definitely need to go. Friends always hang out at the mall. We can’t call ourselves friends if we haven’t done this.”

  She laughs. I love making her laugh. She has the cutest laugh. “There aren’t any malls in this town.”

  “I have a car, Jade. We’re not limited to this town. There’s a mall like twenty minutes from here. We’ll go there and walk around, then we’ll go to dinner and a movie.”

  “I can’t afford all that.” She gets up and goes over to her desk. “Let’s just watch a movie here.”

  Jade only has enough money to do laundry. She has no spending money. And Frank, the guy who took her in after her mom died, can’t afford to give her money. He has MS and all his money goes to pay his medical bills. Even though Jade is broke, she doesn’t like it when I pay for stuff. But I’ve slowly been convincing her to let me pay for things like dinners or movies, because if I didn’t, we’d never go anywhere.

  “We’re going out.” I take out my wallet, pull out some bills, and drop them on the floor as she looks for something in her desk. “You can pay this time.”

  “I’m paying for both of us?” She turns around. “Then I guess we’ll be eating out of a vending machine and sneaking into the movies for free.”

  “You have money right there.” I point to it on the floor. “Just use that.”

  She reaches down and picks up four $20 bills. “Take it back, Garret.”

  I put my hands up. “It’s not mine.”

  “Yeah, it is. Come on. Take it.” She holds the bills out to me.

  “Jade, I swear. It’s not mine. Maybe it’s from the tooth fairy. Did you lose some teeth recently? Let me see.” I try to open her mouth, but she swats my hand away, laughing.

  “Okay, fine. I’ll pay.” She pauses. “Thank you.”

  “For what? I told you that money wasn’t mine.”

  “Not for the money. For spending Saturday nights with me.”

  I pull her back onto my lap. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I love our Saturday nights. I look forward to them every week.”

  “But you should be—”

  “No,” I say, cutting her off. “I don’t want to be at a party, Jade. I want to be with you.”

  From her expression, I can tell she doesn’t believe me. It’s something I need to work on with her. She grew up in such a shitty home that she doesn’t think she’s worthy of anything. Even friendship. She thinks she can’t count on anyone, and that if she gets close to someone, they’ll leave her. That’s why she’s afraid to get close to me. She’s starting to open up more, but it’s like one step forward and two steps back. As soon as I make progress with her, she takes a step back. It’s a process. A frustrating process, but I want to help her work through it. Because she’s my closest friend. And because she’s kind, and caring, and a beautiful person. And because…I love her.

  “Let’s go.” She stands up and offers me her hand.

  I take it and pull her toward me. “Can I have a kiss first?”

  “For what?” she asks kiddingly. “I’m already buying you dinner and a movie. If anything, you owe ME a kiss.”

  I smile, because I don’t think she realizes what she just asked for. Before she can figure it out, I lean in and press my lips to hers. Then I slowly back away.

  She’s blushing and trying not to smile. “You weren’t supposed to do that.”

  “I wasn’t? Then why did you tell me to?”

  “I didn’t. I was just making a reference to the fact that some men expect a goodnight kiss, or more than a kiss, after paying for a date. Which is wrong, by the way. They shouldn’t expect anything. Neither should a girl who pays.”

  “So you won’t be expecting me to kiss you at the end of this evening?”

  “No. And just to be clear. This isn’t a date. We’re just two friends hanging out.”

  I look her in the eye. “Are you ever going to go on a date with me, Jade?”

  She shrugs. “I suppose it will happen eventually.”

  “But not tonight?”

  “No. Not tonight.”

  “Damn, I was really looking forward to that kiss.” I stand up, then lean down by her ear and say, “I think you were too.” I walk past her. “Let’s go.”

  On the drive to the mall, she asks me about my day and then tells me about hers. I keep looking over at her and smiling. She makes me smile for no reason at all. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it until she asks me why I’m smiling.

  As she’s talking I reach over and hold her hand. Even though we’re not dating, I still hold her hand. I like touching her. I just wish she’d let me touch more of her than her hand. I’m used to moving much faster with girls. I’ve even had a few one-night stands. But I’m taking things slow with Jade. Very slow.

  “This is it,” I say, pulling into a parking space. “It’s not a big mall, but we can still walk around.”

  “Aren’t you worried about people seeing us?” she asks, as we go in the mall entrance.

  “Jade, I told you. I’m done listening to my dad.” I hold her hand as we walk.

  “Yeah, but if he knew we were still friends, he might take my scholarship away.”

  “He won’t. Stop worrying about it.”

  My dad has been trying to keep me away from Jade ever since he found out we were friends. He says a Kensington can’t be seen with a girl like Jade, and definitely can’t date someone like her. I’m only supposed to date girls he picks out for me, which in the past have all been snobby bitches I can’t stand. But I’m done letting him control my life, especially my dating life.

  I can’t believe he’s being such an ass about Jade. Just because she grew up poor is not a reason to ban me from being friends with her. My mom didn’t come from a rich family and yet he still married her. So I don’t understand why he’s so against me being with Jade.

  “What stores do you want to go in?” I ask her.

  “Well, I can’t buy anything so it’s kind
of pointless to shop.”

  “You can still look.” I smile at her. “And maybe your friend will buy you something.”

  She smiles back. “My friend is not buying me anything. My friend is already paying for dinner and a movie.”

  “Since when?” I feign surprise. “I thought you were paying.”

  She laughs. “Yeah, that’s right. I forgot. Come on. Let’s go in here.”

  It’s a place that sells new and used movies on DVD. I didn’t know they still had these stores. I haven’t been to this mall in years. It’s the same mall my mom and I used to go to. My dad doesn’t like to shop, so he usually wouldn’t come with us.

  As Jade’s looking at movies, I check my phone to see if there are any messages from my dad. Even though I told Jade I’m not worried he’ll find out about us, the truth is I am. If he finds out I’m with her, he’ll try to forbid me from seeing her.

  “There’s nothing here,” Jade says. “Should we go?”

  “Yeah.” I take her hand again as we leave the store.

  “Want to look in the Halloween store?” She points to it.

  “No.” I lead her away from it.

  It’s the place my mom used to take me to get my Halloween costume when I was a kid. It’s October, and that store is only here for a month, then it turns into a Christmas store. Every year, my mom would take me there to get my costume. I could never decide what I wanted to dress up as, so I’d wait until the last minute and then my mom would have to drive me all the way here the day before Halloween to get it.

  Going in there now would bring back too many memories. Those memories shouldn’t bother me anymore, but they still do. I want to remember her, and yet I don’t. Because when I do, I miss her and it hurts, and I’m tired of hurting.

  “So what can I get you?” I ask Jade, putting my arm around her.

  “You’re not getting me anything. You already bought me those lights for my room.”

  “That was a birthday gift. This is a first-time-together-at-the-mall gift.”

  She smiles. “I didn’t know that was a special occasion. But you’re still not buying me anything.”

  We pass in front of a candy store. “I know what to get you.” I pull her inside and take one of the plastic bags next to the bins and hand it to her. “Fill it up with whatever you want.”