Only Her

by Allie Everhart

  “Hello, Garret.” Grace smiles at me as she puts the phone on speaker.

  “Hi, Grace.” I hear the voice, but don’t recognize it. He has a deep voice, like a man, not the little boy voice I remember. “Aren’t you supposed to be playing bridge?”

  “Yes, but something came up so I decided not to go. Garret, I was wondering if you could come down here?”

  “Why? Is something wrong?”

  “No, I just wanted to have some friends over this afternoon and I need the patio furniture taken out of storage. It’s too heavy for me to move myself.”

  “Yeah, don’t do it. You’ll hurt yourself. I’ll do it. Do you want me to come down right now?”

  “If you could, then yes.”

  “Let me tell Jade. She’s not quite ready to leave.”

  “Jade doesn’t need to come. It won’t take long to do the furniture.”

  “Okay. Are you coming back tonight or staying there?”

  “I’m sure I’ll be back tonight.”

  “All right. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Thank you, Garret.”

  “No problem. Bye, Grace.”

  Grace ends the call and takes a box of tissues from the counter and brings it over to me. “Rachel, I’m sorry. I thought you’d want to hear his voice.”

  I take a handful of tissues because I’m a crying mess. “I did want to hear it. He just sounded so different than I remember. I can’t believe my little boy is now a man. He sounds so mature.”

  She sits next to me. “Garret has grown up to be a wonderful young man. He’s polite. Responsible. Always willing to help. Any mother would be proud to have a son like him.”

  I grab more tissues and dab my eyes. “Tell me more. I want to know everything about him.”

  “Let’s wait. I’d rather have him tell you himself.”

  I nod. “What about Pearce? Where does he live?”

  “He still lives in Connecticut.” Her brows furrow in concern. “Rachel, where have you been all this time? Why do you not know these things about Pearce and Garret? I thought you would’ve perhaps gone on the Internet and—”

  “I didn’t have access to the Internet.” I set my tissue down. “I was in a very remote town. I can’t say where. I’ve always liked you, Grace, and I want to trust you, but after what I’ve been through, I don’t really trust anyone. I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to tell you everything.”

  She pats my hand. “I understand.”

  “Can you tell me anything else about Pearce?”

  “I’d prefer if Garret did. The two of you have a lot to talk about.”

  “I do know that Pearce married Katherine.”

  “Yes.” She sits back. “But it wasn’t a good marriage.”

  “Wasn’t? You mean they’re no longer married?” My voice is rushed, excited.

  Grace notices and smiles slightly. “They divorced five years ago. He’s been single ever since. But he has custody of Lilly.” She sees the pained expression on my face and says, “Oh. Rachel, I’m sorry. I assumed you knew he had another child.”

  “I did. I just…I hadn’t thought about it for a while.” Actually, I thought Holton might’ve been lying when he said Pearce had a child with Katherine. “So how old is his daughter?”

  “Lilly is 12. She’s a very sweet girl. But again, you should ask Garret about all of this. I don’t feel right being the one to tell you.”

  I’m quiet for a moment as I let this sink in. Garret is married. Pearce is divorced and has custody of his daughter. What else has happened? I don’t ask Grace, because she’ll insist that I wait for Garret, so I ask her about herself instead.

  “Is Arlin here?” I ask.

  She smooths the tablecloth with her hand. “Arlin passed away six years ago.”

  “Grace, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “It’s all right, dear. You didn’t know.” She pauses, her eyes on the tablecloth. “Royce is gone too. He died a few months before Arlin did.”

  I reach for her hand. “Grace, I’m so very sorry. That’s devastating to lose them both in one year.”

  I wonder how they died. Arlin would’ve been old, but Royce is Pearce’s age. So why did Royce die at such a young age?

  “How are Victoria and the girls?” I ask.

  “They’re doing well. It was hard on them at first, but they’ve adjusted to life without him.”

  “And how about you? How are you adjusting?”

  She smiles softly. “I’m doing well. After Arlin died, Pearce checked in on me, making sure I was okay. And Jade called me almost every day. And of course, I have William, but he travels so much for work and has…other obligations.” Her voice trails off.

  What does she mean by ‘other obligations’? Does she mean obligations for that secret organization? I want to ask her about it, but I’m not sure if I should.

  “Is William part of it?” I blurt out before I can stop myself. I know he’s part of it, so why did I ask?

  “Part of what, dear?”

  “I know about that secret group.” I watch her reaction, but she doesn’t have one. Her expression hasn’t changed. “I know Pearce is a member and I know Royce was, so I assume William is too?”

  “Yes,” she says quietly.

  “Do you know much about it?”

  “It’s another topic we shouldn’t discuss. You should ask Pearce about it.”

  “I need to know, Grace. Do they really make their members do horrible things? Like…hurt people?”

  She sighs. “It’s changed a lot the past few years. I can’t say much more than that.”

  “Do you think Pearce has…done things? Bad things?”

  “Rachel. Please don’t judge Pearce based on what he’s done in the past. He was not given a choice. He did what they told him to do. Pearce is a good man. Just like Arlin was a good man. I know it’s difficult to overlook what they’ve done, but you need to see that side of them as someone else. The Pearce you know is the real Pearce. The one you fell in love with.” She smiles. “We’ve done enough talking. I’m sure you’d like to clean up a little after traveling. If you’d like to take a shower or change clothes, there are several guest rooms down the hall.”

  “Yes, a shower would be good.” I get up from the chair, then lean down and hug her. “Thank you again, Grace. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t run into you.”

  She pats my back. “Go get ready. Garret will be here soon.”

  I shower and put on a dress, then wait in the living room with Grace. I’m excited, but also nervous to see Garret. I don’t know how he’s going to react.

  We hear a car pulling into the driveway.

  “That’s him,” Grace says. “Let me talk to him first before I bring him inside.”

  “Are you going to tell him I’m here?”

  She pauses to think. “No. But I will let him know he’s not here to take out the patio furniture.” She smiles. “Relax, Rachel. Everything will be fine.”

  I rise from the couch and smooth the wrinkles from my dress, feeling even more nervous. What if Garret gets mad at me for leaving? Or what if he’s angry that I showed up here again? Am I putting him in danger by coming back? God, I hope not. If I am, I’ll leave again. I would never do anything to put my family in danger.

  Grace goes out the front door and I hear her saying hello to Garret.

  This is it. The moment I’ve been waiting for for fifteen years. I will finally see my son again.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  14

  GARRET

  “Hey, Grace.” I get out of the car, which is parked behind hers. “So what time are your friends coming over?”

  She stops me as I’m walking up to the house. “I’m not really having friends over. I just said that because I needed you to come here.”

  “To take out the patio furniture?”

  “No.” She glances at the house, then back at me. “There’s someone inside who wants to see you.”


  “Who is it?”

  “Someone from your past.”

  “Grace, what is this about? You’re making me nervous.”

  “Don’t be nervous. But keep an open mind.”

  “An open mind? What are you talking about?”

  “You’ll see.” She gives me a quick hug. “I’m going to run to the store to give you two some time alone.”

  “Time alone? Grace, tell me who’s in there.”

  “You need to see for yourself.” She holds her hand out. “May I have your keys? You blocked my car in. I’ll just take yours, if that’s okay.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine.” I hand her the keys and she walks off and gets in my car.

  This is very strange. Who is she hiding in the house? She said it’s someone from my past. I have no clue who it would be or why this person would come here to see me.

  I go into the house. “Hello?”

  Nobody answers. I walk through the foyer and stop when I reach the living room. There’s a woman standing by the couch. I’m not good with ages, but I’m guessing she’s maybe in her mid- to late-forties. She’s tall and thin, wearing a casual navy dress with a white cardigan sweater.

  “Garret.” She says it softly, her voice trembling.

  “Who are you?” I remain where I’m at as she slowly walks toward me. She looks familiar. Really familiar. Eerily familiar. In fact, I’m getting this strange feeling because she looks so familiar.

  She keeps walking until she’s right in front of me. She’s crying, tears pouring down her cheeks. “It’s me.”

  She has shoulder-length, dark brown hair and bright blue eyes.

  Seeing her up close, she almost looks like—no, that’s crazy.

  “Do I know you?” I ask.

  “Yes.” Tears continue down her cheeks as she smiles.

  I focus on her smile, and the way her eyes smile along with her mouth. My mom’s face did the same thing. People were always drawn to my mom because of her smile.

  My heart’s pounding and I’m breathing fast. This isn’t right. I must be seeing things.

  “Garret, honey.” She reaches for me. “It’s me. Your mom.”

  I step back. “No! Stop! Who are you? Tell me.”

  She doesn’t come any closer. “Garret.” She speaks softly, her eyes on mine. “I’m your mother. Rachel.”

  Who the hell is this woman and why is she saying this shit? My mom is dead. She died fifteen years ago. I saw the plane, burning in the field. There was nothing left of it.

  I should turn and walk out the door. And yet I can’t take my eyes off her. She looks so damn familiar. I’m studying her face. The shape of it. And her eyes. They’re the exact same color as mine.

  “I had to leave,” she says. “They forced me to. I had no choice. If I didn’t, they would’ve—” She squeezes her eyes shut and more tears fall down her face, her body trembling.

  This is so messed up. I don’t know what to do. Why is this woman here? Why did Grace let her into her house?

  “Hey.” I touch her arm to get her attention. She looks up at me and I stop breathing for a moment. Her eyes. God, they look so much like my mom’s eyes.

  She reaches in the pocket of her sweater and pulls something out. “I wasn’t sure if you’d recognize me after all this time.” She wipes the tears from her cheek and sniffles. “So I wanted to show you this. So you’d know it was me.”

  She lifts her hand up, holding it in front of me. Then she slowly opens her fist, and lying on her palm is a gold chain with two heart-shaped lockets hanging from it; one big and one small.

  My eyes focus on the necklace. My mom had one just like it. She wore it almost every day.

  I point to it, my heart pounding. “Where did you get that? Where did you fucking get that?”

  “Honey, you know where I got it. Your father gave it to me when I came home from the hospital after you were born.” She opens the small heart locket and shows it to me. Inside is a photo of a baby. “That’s you, Garret.” She closes the locket. “When your father gave this to me, I was—”

  “Stop it!” I swallow hard and try to catch my breath. “Why do you have that? Who the fuck are you?”

  Now I feel my own tears forming and it’s pissing me off. Who the hell does this woman think she is? Pretending to my mom? And why does she have that necklace? It’s not hers. It belongs to my mom!

  “Why are you doing this to me?” I scream it at her, my voice shaky. “Why are you pretending to be her? My mom is dead! She died fifteen years ago. And to this day—” I’m sobbing now and I don’t know why. Or maybe I do but I can’t accept it. I can’t accept this could possibly be real. “To this day, I’m not over her death. I still miss her so damn much…it fucking hurts.”

  “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” She’s crying too, even more than before. But she won’t stop looking at me. And I can’t take my eyes off her either.

  “You can’t do this to me! You can’t come here and pretend she’s alive. Pretend you’re her. You can’t do that to me!”

  She sets the necklace on the table and reaches her hand out toward me. “Garret, just let me—”

  “You look like her. You really do. And I don’t know how you got that necklace, but you shouldn’t have it. That was hers! Dad gave it to her and she wore it almost every damn day until the day she—” I cover my tear-soaked face with my hands and rub my eyes. “Until she was gone.”

  I feel her arms around me. I should yank away from her. But I don’t. Because this feels familiar. The way she’s hugging me feels familiar. Why does it feel familiar? What the fuck is going on here?

  “Garret.” She’s crying so hard, she can barely say it. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I left you.”

  I can’t even speak. My mind is such a mess right now. What she’s saying can’t possibly be true, but the way she looks, her voice, the way she’s hugging me. It’s all so damn familiar that I have no other explanation.

  She pulls away, her hands on my arms, her eyes on mine. “I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to leave my little boy. My only child. I loved you and your father more than anything in this world. I still do.”

  I shake my head and yank away from her. “No! You’re not her. It’s not possible.”

  “I know it’s hard to believe.” She wipes her eyes. “And I know you’re upset. I was worried about coming back. I wasn’t sure if you’d accept me back into your life. But when I found out he was gone, I had to come see you. I’ve thought about you every second of every day since I left. And so when I knew I could, I had to come back. I had to see you again.”

  I don’t understand this. If it’s really her, how is this possible?

  “You weren’t on the plane,” I say.

  “No.”

  “Why? Why weren’t you on the plane?”

  “Because someone warned me.”

  “Who?”

  “A friend of ours.”

  I look at her. “What friend? Who was it?”

  “It was…it was Jack. Do you remember Jack? He was like a grandpa to you. And his wife, Martha? She loved you. She used to come over all the time to see you.”

  Jack and Martha. I remember them, but it was so long ago. And then they moved and we never saw them again.

  “So Jack was part of the organization?” As soon as I ask, I realize she doesn’t know about the organization. Or at least she didn’t before.

  “Yes. He’s the one who told me about it.” She holds my arm. “You’re part of it now, aren’t you? They make you do things. They make you—”

  “No. I’m not part of it. They let me out.”

  Her brows rise. “But I thought—”

  “It’s a long story. A really long story. And not one I want to tell right now.”

  How does she know all this? How does she know about Jack and Martha? How does she know my parents were friends with them? That’s not something you could look up online.

  She’s staring at me, her eyes still teary. “You�
��re so grown up.”

  “I’m 25.”

  “I know. I celebrated every one of your birthdays, even though I wasn’t here.” She smiles.

  It’s the smile I’d see in my head whenever I thought about her. The smile that was always on her face when she picked me up from school. The smile I saw across from me at the dinner table every night. The smile I saw the day she left for DC for that fundraiser, which was the last time I saw that smile. Until today.

  My head is finally getting this. Realizing this isn’t some kind of hoax. It’s real. This woman really is my mother. Holy shit!

  I step up to her and wrap my arms around her. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” Her arms wrap tightly around me. “And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for putting you through that. Leaving you. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I love you, honey. And I love your father. I love you both so much.”

  She’s crying and so am I. I can’t believe this is happening. That she’s really here.

  “I thought you were gone.” I keep my arms around her, not wanting to let go. I’m afraid if I do, she’ll disappear and I’ll find that this was all just a dream. “I saw the plane. I thought you were dead.”

  “I know.” She holds me closer. “I’m so sorry.”

  We remain there until our tears have stopped and then we finally let go of each other. We both step back and wipe our faces.

  “Let’s sit down.” She takes my hand and leads me to the couch.

  I have so many questions I don’t know where to begin. “Where were you? Where have you been all these years?”

  “In Italy. In a small village your dad and I went to right after we got married. We loved it so much that your dad said we should live there when he retired. So when I had to pick a place to hide, I picked that same village. Jack said he’d tell your father where to find me. I kept waiting for your father to show up, but he never did. Months went by, then years, so I went to a place that had Internet access and did some research and found that Jack died the night he went to tell your father about me. So your father never knew. Jack wasn’t able to tell him I was alive.” More tears spill down her cheeks.