Only Her

by Allie Everhart

  “Yes. But what does that have to do with—”

  “I killed him. I had to in order to protect my family. By that point, I no longer considered my father to be my family. He had become the enemy. So I killed him. I didn’t do it myself. I had someone else do it.”

  She looks fearful again. Perhaps because I talk about his death so casually. So nonchalantly. But I attach no emotion to that event. I had just cause for his demise. He backed me into a corner. Made threats against my family. I’d kill him again in a heartbeat, especially knowing what I know now.

  “Before he died, my father told me that the plane crash was his idea,” I explain. “He told me he was the one who asked the organization to kill you. They wanted to punish me for marrying you, but they were going to harm me professionally. Do something to hinder my career, thus making me have to work even harder. But instead, my father insisted they kill you, and that he be allowed to pick when it would happen.”

  Rachel’s eyes haven’t left mine as she listens carefully to my every word.

  “It’s another very long story and I don’t want to get into it today. The bottom line is that my father saw my life repeating with Garret. When Garret married Jade, it was like you and me all over again. Another Kensington marrying an outsider. My father wouldn’t stand for it. He threatened to kill Jade.”

  Rachel inhales sharply, covering her mouth with her hand.

  “The only reason he admitted to being responsible for your death was simply to prove that he was capable of doing the same thing to Jade. That he would have no problem killing her. So I had to make a decision. It was either him or Jade. And without hesitation,” I pause, “I chose Jade.”

  She glances toward the back of the house. “Does she know this? Does Garret know?”

  “Yes. They both know what my father was planning and they know I took care of him. Jade is aware of the organization. She has been for years.”

  “And they’ve left her alone? They haven’t tried to harm her? I mean, besides Holton.”

  “She’s been threatened in the past, by more than just my father. And she was shot at and almost killed.”

  She gasps. “By who?”

  “Her father. Royce is Jade’s father. He met Jade’s mother while on a campaign event for one of our politicians. Royce never wanted anyone to find out he had a child with this woman so he kept it hidden. Years later, Royce was running for president and suspected Jade knew he was her father and feared she might tell the media. So he tried to kill her.”

  “Who stopped him?”

  “I did. I shot him. But very few people know that. Rachel, everything I’ve told you today must remain confidential.”

  “You killed Royce.” She says it to herself, like she’s thinking aloud.

  “I didn’t have a choice. Jade was just an innocent girl. She did nothing wrong. I wasn’t going to let Royce kill her. And…”

  “And what?”

  She’ll find this out eventually. If she sees Garret without a shirt, she’ll see the scar and then be angry that I didn’t tell her.

  “Garret was there that day,” I say. “Royce had a gun pointed at Jade and when it went off, Garret threw her to the ground and…he ended up getting shot.”

  “No.” She’s crying again.

  I reach over and hold her in my arms. “He’s okay now. He’s healthy. He’s safe. Jade is safe. Now we just need to make sure that you’re safe.”

  She knows what that means. She knows I’ll kill Leland, and this time, she’s not trying to talk me out of it. I think she’s starting to understand that in my world, there is no gray. It’s black and white. Good and evil. The lines are clear. There are rules. And although there’s a rule saying I can’t kill Leland, he will be killed. I will find a way.

  “Hey.” I hear Garret behind me and Rachel and I break apart. “I was just checking in. Do you need anything?”

  Rachel stands up as Garret approaches us.

  He sees her tears. “Is everything all right?”

  She hugs him tightly. “I’m just so thankful you’re okay.”

  Garret glances at me. “I’m fine, Mom.”

  She lets him go. “I need to go in the bathroom and clean up my face. I’ve been crying so much I must look like a mess. I’ll be right back.” She walks away.

  Garret sits down across from me. “Why was she acting that way? What did you say to her?”

  “I told her you were shot. I wasn’t planning to, but it came up when we were talking about Jade.”

  “What else did you tell her?”

  “Let’s talk about it later. She’ll be back in a minute.”

  He checks that she’s still gone, then asks, “So what do you think?”

  I lean back on the couch. “I can’t believe she’s actually here.”

  “Yeah, I know. I thought I was hallucinating when I first saw her. How are you feeling right now?”

  “I’m elated to see her, but I’m still in shock.”

  “Are you mad at her for leaving?”

  “No. I understand why she did it. She had to save herself and she didn’t want to put either of us in danger by staying. She thought I knew she was there. She was waiting for me to come get her.”

  “Yeah. She told me. And she told me about Grandfather.”

  “And Leland?”

  “No.” He moves to the edge of his chair. “What about Leland?”

  “He’s the one who arranged for the plane to go down.”

  “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

  I shake my head. “No. All these years, Leland thinks he killed her in that plane crash. He came to our house all those times. Had dinner with us. Holidays. And the whole time…he knew what he’d done.”

  “Fuck.” Garret clenches his fists. “Can I be the one to kill him?”

  “That’s not funny, Garret. Don’t even joke about that.”

  “Well, you can’t do it. It’s against the rules.”

  “There are ways around the rules. I will find a way.”

  “So what are you going to do now?” Garret asks. “I mean, with Mom?”

  “Are you referring to our relationship?”

  “Yeah. Did you guys talk about it?”

  “No. We’ve just talked about what’s gone on since she left.”

  “But you want to be with her again, right?”

  “More than anything. Seeing her again, it’s like nothing’s changed. I feel the same way about her now as I did before she left.” He sighs. “But I don’t know if she feels the same way.”

  “She wants you back, Dad. I know she does. She told me she still loves you.”

  “When did she tell you that?”

  “Last night. And this morning. And she said how much she’s missed you. Last night, she was asking me all these questions about you. And you should’ve seen how nervous she was before you got here. She kept asking me if she looked okay.”

  I smile. “She looks beautiful. She always has.”

  “So tell her that. Tell her how you feel. This isn’t the time to hold back. You need to let her know what you’re thinking and how you feel. She needs to hear that. And she needs to know that she’s safe. That you’ll protect her. And our family. She’s afraid, Dad. She wants to be with you but she thinks if the members find out she’s back, they’ll do something to you, or to me. Or to Jade and Abigail.”

  He’s right. I can tell how afraid Rachel is, more for the rest of us than for herself. And if she’s afraid we’ll be harmed, she’ll leave again. She’ll go into hiding to protect us. I can’t let her do that.

  “Why don’t you go somewhere?” Garret says. “Get a hotel room where you two can be alone and not have Jade and me around. You have so much to talk about and I don’t want to get in the way or make you guys feel like you have to spend time with us.”

  “I suppose we could do that. Are there some decent hotels nearby that would have two open rooms on such late notice?”

  “Yeah. There’s a really nice
place on the ocean, like ten minutes from here. But, um, Dad, you only need one room. You guys are married.”

  “We’re not married. Not legally anyway. Not anymore. And I don’t think your mother would be comfortable sharing a room.”

  He laughs a little. “I’m pretty sure she would be okay with it. Why don’t you just go with one room? She’ll tell you if she wants her own.”

  I would prefer we share a room, not for the reason Garret is referring to, but because I don’t like the idea of Rachel being alone. I know my father is no longer a threat and Leland is unaware she’s alive, but I would still feel better if I were with her. If she’s in another room, I won’t sleep. I’ll be up worrying about her.

  As for the other reason I’d want her in my room? The one Garret hinted at? Of course I want that. But it’s too soon. She’s not ready for that. And I don’t want to rush her into anything. We need to gradually become a couple again. I just hope she wants that.

  “I’ll let you guys talk,” Garret says, getting up as Rachel comes back in the room.

  She’s smiling. That beautiful smile that lights up a room.

  “Where are you going, honey?” she asks Garret.

  “Jade needed help with something. I’ll come back when I’m done.” He leaves the room.

  “Rachel, come sit down,” I tell her, then wait until she’s seated next to me. “I was thinking we should go somewhere. Someplace we could talk.”

  “We can’t talk here?”

  “We have a lot to talk about. And I don’t want Jade and Garret to overhear us or interrupt us. We need time alone to discuss some things.”

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “Garret said there’s a hotel not far from here along the coast. I think we should stay there tonight.”

  She nods. “Okay.”

  I was expecting more of a reaction. I just invited her to stay at a hotel with me. Does she assume we’ll be staying in separate rooms? I’m sure she does.

  “When do you want to leave?” she asks.

  “I think we should go right now.”

  She smiles slightly. I don’t know what that means. Is she as eager to be alone with me as I am to be with her? Maybe she doesn’t want her own room. Maybe she wants to stay with me.

  I stand up and offer her my hand. “Let’s go say goodbye.”

  We go into the kitchen. Off to the side is a small sitting area with some chairs. Jade and Garret are in there watching TV. Abigail’s playing with her toys on the floor.

  Garret sees us and turns the TV down. “Hey.”

  “We’re going to the place you suggested,” I tell him.

  “When are you leaving?”

  “We’re going to head over there now.”

  “Do you want to eat something before you go?” Jade asks, getting up from her chair. “I can make some lunch.”

  “We’ll just order something,” I say. “But thank you.”

  Abigail sees me and crawls over to my legs. I pick her up and kiss her. “Did you miss your grandpa?”

  “Papa!” She hugs me. I miss seeing her. And her parents. I wish I lived closer to them.

  Rachel stands beside me, smiling. “Look how she holds onto you. Like she doesn’t want to let go.”

  “She loves Grandpa,” Jade says. She holds Abigail’s hand, talking to her. “You miss your grandpa, don’t you?”

  “Papa!” she squeals.

  Jade laughs. “We’re working on the grandpa word. For now, you’re papa.”

  “That’s fine.” I kiss Abigail’s cheek. “She can call me whatever she’d like.” I try to peel her off me. “I’m sorry, honey, but Grandpa has to go.”

  She shakes her head. “No.”

  “She’s got that word down,” Garret says, laughing. “She says it all the time.”

  “You better take her,” I say to Jade as Abigail clings to me.

  “Can I have her?” Rachel asks.

  I kiss Abigail again. “I guess you’re going to Grandma.”

  That’s the first time I’ve called her that. Rachel is a grandmother. It’s strange to think of her as a grandmother. Maybe because she still looks so young to me. She’s in great shape. I’ve been trying to keep my eyes on her face, but now that she’s preoccupied with the baby, I take a moment to discreetly look at her.

  She has a light blue cotton dress on. My favorite color is blue and I always loved it when she wore that color. It’s a sleeveless dress and her arms are lean and toned, like they were when she was younger. I wonder if she’s been swimming all these years or if she stayed in shape some other way. She’s maintained her hourglass figure, the dress hugging her curves.

  “You are so sweet,” Rachel says to Abi, kissing her cheek. “I can’t get enough of you.” She hands her to Jade, then gives Jade a hug. “Bye, Jade. Get some rest. I’m sure you’re tired. I slept through most of my first trimester.”

  Jade smiles at Rachel. “I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

  “We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Garret says. “Are you coming over in the morning?”

  “We’ll call you and let you know,” I say.

  Garret smiles, as if my answer means something. I know he wants his mother and me to get back together, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen.

  Rachel hugs Garret. “Bye, honey. I love you.”

  “I love you too. Oh, let me get your suitcase.”

  Jade walks us to the door and Garret meets us there with the suitcase. It’s just one small suitcase. Is that all Rachel has? Everything she owns fits in one suitcase?

  “See you guys later,” Garret says.

  I look out at the driveway. “I forgot, I don’t have a car.”

  Garret takes his keys from his pocket and hands them to me. “It’s all yours. Your suitcase is still in the trunk. I never took it out.”

  Rachel and I go out to Garret’s BMW. I open the door for her, then put her suitcase in the trunk next to mine, and go around to the other side. Then we head to the hotel.

  I’m going to a hotel with the love of my life who I thought was dead. And I have no idea if she wants me back.

  This should be interesting.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  21

  RACHEL

  Pearce and I are driving along the coast to the hotel that Garret suggested. Pearce thinks we need time alone. I don’t know if he means to just talk or do more than that. We probably shouldn’t do more than talk. After all this time apart, it’s probably not appropriate. And maybe Pearce doesn’t want that. I can’t really tell if he still feels that way about me. If he’s still attracted to me.

  I’m definitely still attracted to him. As soon as I saw him, my heart took off, racing in my chest. He’s still so incredibly handsome. Extremely handsome. Even more handsome than I remember.

  He’s wearing a dark gray suit with a crisp white shirt and a gray and black striped tie. And he smells amazing. It must be a new cologne. It wasn’t one he used to wear.

  When he hugged me, I felt like I was home again. Where I belonged. I didn’t want him to let me go. And I almost kissed him. I used to always kiss him after a hug so it felt natural. Like what I normally do, but then I stopped myself before I did it.

  I have to keep reminding myself that things are different now. We’re not married anymore. And we’ve both changed. Pearce has a different life now. He has a daughter and has custody of her. And I’ve spent the last fifteen years being someone else. I’m not even sure the old Rachel exists anymore. After what I’ve been through, and what I’ve seen, and what I know, I feel like a whole different person.

  “I think this is it.” Pearce pulls up to the hotel entrance.

  It’s a beautiful hotel. The exterior is a mix of dark wood and stacked stone, like an upscale lodge. Colorful flowers surround the building and line the road that leads to the entrance.

  A valet opens my door. “Welcome.”

  “Thank you.” I get out of the car and see another valet taking our
luggage from the trunk.

  Pearce appears next to me.

  The valet approaches him. “May I show you to the registration desk?”

  “Not just yet. We’d like to look at the gardens first.”

  He smiles. “Of course. Take your time. Your luggage will be waiting inside.”

  Pearce holds his arm out for me, in true gentleman form, and I take it. He walks us toward a stone path that’s nestled among the flowers. I can hear the roar of the ocean in the distance.

  I stop him before we reach the path. “Pearce, what are we doing?”

  “We need to discuss this before we check in.”

  “I agree. So how are we going to do this? I don’t have a credit card.”

  His brows furrow. “Why is that a concern?”

  “I need it to check in. I have cash, but they require a credit card.”

  “Rachel, you are not paying for the room. I will take care of it. What I wanted to discuss is…whether you would like your own room or if you would be okay staying with me. I am not trying to imply anything here, so please, do not take it that way. I would simply feel better having you with me than in a different room. Until I know for sure that you’re safe, I would prefer that you stay with me.”

  So he wants me to stay with him to make sure I’m safe. Nothing more. He’s being a gentleman, just like he was when we met. In a way, I feel like we’re going back to that time. Starting over. Getting to know each other again.

  “Rachel, what would you prefer? One room or two?”

  “One.” I say it a little too quickly and see a hint of a smile on Pearce’s face.

  “One it is. Shall we go check in?”

  “Yes.” I smile at his formality. Again, it’s like when we met. He was always so formal. As we walk back to the entrance, I say, “What if someone sees us together? Should I go wait off to the side while you check in?”

  “No. Just stay with me.” He takes my hand and we walk inside and up to the woman waiting at the check-in desk.

  “How can I help you?” she asks. She’s beautiful and exotic-looking with dark skin and jet black hair. She’s in her twenties, but smiling at Pearce like she’d go out with him in a heartbeat. Any woman would. He’s hot. Hotter than most guys half his age.